idearys
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I've found a reason for me (to change who I used to be) by idearys
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
03 Feb 2026
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Summary
The first time that Jayce had ever cut himself, he was fourteen. He’d been scratching, scratching, scratching, because there was this impossible equation that he just couldn’t crack, and the unfairness of it all made him red-hot and gave him the all-consuming feeling that he needed to get the feeling out. And then, for the first time since he’d started the habit, his nails weren’t enough.
He’d crept downstairs and taken his mother’s sharpest kitchen knife with trembling hands and cut one shallow, clean line into his forearm. And then he’d felt nausea bubbling up in his throat, strong and revolted and tremendously guilty and cleaned the knife until his skin cracked from the soap.
He didn’t eat food prepared with that knife for a week, bile rising every time he saw it in his mother’s hands. Vowed never again.
He broke that vow two weeks later.
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Jayce is well-polished, well-presented, and totally, unequivocally, and wholly in love with his best friend.
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“Why did you not kill me, then?” He whispers, and In-ho is delighted to hear fury lacing his voice. He wants that anger, that emotion.
“I could never kill you.” he admits, truthfully.
There’s a beat. In-ho must have let too much slip because Gi-hun regards him with a look he’s never seen before.
“Why?” He asks, and the unsaid answer lingers in the air.
OR
Post episode 7, In-ho and Gi-hun have a talk. Things escalate, secrets are revealed, and In-ho’s very expensive whisky is spilled all over the floor.
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Villain and violent (infant and innocent) by idearys
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
06 Nov 2024
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“Agatha, why don't you show us your battle scars?”
Jen smiles whilst saying this, not in an unkind way at all, but Agatha swallows the lump of apprehension in her throat. Logically, she knows that Jen does not mean to say this to embarrass her, but there’s a hot flash of humiliation in the pit of her stomach. Obviously, she’s being irrational; nobody knows about.. those ones. Not even Rio.
She forces the heat creeping up her neck down and says,
“I don’t have any.”
OR
Agathario angst. Everyone needs a hug. Old scars. Girls kissing. Lesbian feelings. You get it.
(Now a chapter fic! Chapter one was written as a one shot, and it can be read as a stand-alone.)
Edit 19/11/24: unfortunately i have been struck by the ao3 writer curse, and something happened that stopped me from writing. I promise the next update will be soon! I’ve not forgotten about this :)
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Alison had heard of the thousand-yard-stare, and she had seen a grainy black-and-white picture of a soldier with shellshock in her Year Eleven history textbook, but the look on the Captains face was so haunted, that she took a step back. She would happily pay to never see anyone look at her like that again. It was literally like he was looking through her.
His face was screwed up with.. grief. Unmistakable grief.
OR
Alison finds out what happened to the Captain in regards to his life. And death.
Episode 5 destroyed me.
Series
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Gloria gave a sad smile. “There was nothing you could do for that flower. No matter how hard you tried, it was gone. It was dead. That’s the same with every living thing in this world. Including lions. Including humans. You can’t bring them back, you can’t.. You can’t meet them again.”
“Oh.” Barbie was silent for a minute, processing. “How do you ever do anything?” She whispered, eyes filling up with tears.
OR
1. Barbie 2. Learning about death 3. Learning that panic attacks are not normal 4. Realising that anxiety isn't as severe for everyone else as it is for you 5. Are feelings for your best friend normal?
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
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Popstar Langa Hasegawa is famous, successful, and quietly falling apart.
Trapped in a relationship that asks him to be smaller, quieter, and easier to control, his music stalls and his sense of self begins to fade. From the outside, everything looks perfect- but behind closed doors, he’s suffocating.
Then he meets upcoming actor Reki Kyan, and suddenly, softness and love exist again.
Bookmarked by idearys
17 Feb 2026
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Isagi isn’t the last to join the crew of international footballers suddenly infiltrating Kunigami’s bar. With a jovial jingle, the door parts to allow a final man entry.
Long red hair. An elfin face. A build that is lithe yet strong. A person that Kunigami once considered a close friend. His best, even. Until they went their separate ways under a canopy of spite and guilt.
“Kunigami,” Chigiri Hyouma breathes, eyes widening. “I can’t believe it.”
It's been fifteen years since the original Blue Lock talent improvement program, the reunion coinciding with preparations for the 2034 World Cup in Tokyo. Kunigami Rensuke has an invite, but no intention of attending. That's when Isagi Yoichi decides to bring the reunion—and Chigiri Hyouma—to the door of his izakaya.
Chigiri and Kunigami fell out years prior, before their lives took drastically different turns away from the world of international football. Older, wiser and living with regrets, can they bridge the rift to become close once again?
Post-canon Kunigiri longfic 🧡❤️ Characters are 30+. While there are cameos from other Blue Lock characters, the main focus is Kunigami and Chigiri’s relationship.
Series
- Part 1 of Tokyo 2034
Bookmarked by idearys
06 Feb 2026
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come back and haunt me by akgerhardt for BadIdeasGalore
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
08 Feb 2026
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Divergent from S2E1, where Jayce panics in the opposite direction and destroys the Hexcore but ends up able to save Viktor with his own body.
Series
- Part 1 of jole palooza: in all pussibilities
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,936
- Chapters:
- 49/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 172
- Kudos:
- 442
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 19,944
Bookmarked by idearys
30 Jan 2026
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say it with your fists for once by lepueya
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
03 Apr 2025
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Summary
For over a decade, since he was a freshman in college, Viktor has loved Jayce in silence, scrounging for any morsel of warmth and closeness while pretending it was enough to satisfy him—until it wasn’t. Beaten by the situation for years, watching Jayce graduate and move away to be with someone else, all that seems to survive is bitterness and resentment. But Viktor is apparently still hopeless, because when Jayce calls him out of the blue and asks to meet for dinner and drinks, he goes to him. Armed to the teeth, expecting another upset, but he goes.
And it better be worth it
Bookmarked by idearys
09 Sep 2025
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Summary
He knows its wrong. But it feels right.
Bookmarked by idearys
07 Sep 2025