gpg3400
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Summary
A crack-ish canon retelling with as many fanon tropes as I can remember to cram into it
- Words:
- 92,095
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 84
Bookmarked by gpg3400
18 Feb 2026
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Tags
Summary
The only warning Harry got was a slight tickle before Malfoy bit his arm.
The snake, that is.
Series
- Part 1 of Bite Me Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,160
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 517
- Bookmarks:
- 132
- Hits:
- 6,400
Bookmarked by gpg3400
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
Before his third year of Hogwarts has even begun, Harry faces three whole weeks of unsupervised time in Diagon Alley. In that time he takes a trip to Gringotts - and that changes everything.
Burdened with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic, and manipulating far more than he ever thought possible, Harry doesn't know who he can trust; but he knows he can't keep going that way. There's a whole world of lore and politics and history to catch up on, and the more he learns, the more Harry realises his true place in the world, and how much is being kept hidden from him. All the while, Dumbledore's twinkling eyes are constantly watching, and Harry can't let on how much he knows.
With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 746,386
- Chapters:
- 109/109
- Collections:
- 182
- Comments:
- 13,399
- Kudos:
- 83,775
- Bookmarks:
- 24,315
- Hits:
- 5,053,437
Bookmarked by gpg3400
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.
(Fic from 2010 FF archive being uploaded here.)
AND FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, STOP REPOSTING THIS ON WATTPAD. I DO NOT WANT IT ON WATTPAD. YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO POST THIS ON WATTPAD.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 186,678
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Collections:
- 25
- Comments:
- 2,417
- Kudos:
- 41,789
- Bookmarks:
- 10,306
- Hits:
- 1,307,066
Bookmarked by gpg3400
01 Feb 2026
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Tags
Summary
Being a neutral party is easy when you don't give a shit about what happens. Harry doesn't mind the war around him, so long as it doesn't affect his life or his learning. As far as Harry's concerned, the war wasn't his problem.
He's practically Switzerland.
Featuring:
- Ravenclaw red-haired Harry Potter
- Neutral Harry who doesn't take shit from anyone
- Harry growing up with Voldemort hanging around as a wraith like some kind of menacing babysitterSeries
- Part 1 of I'm Switzerland - Over The Years
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,971
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,262
- Kudos:
- 5,277
- Bookmarks:
- 1,603
- Hits:
- 125,666
Bookmarked by gpg3400
30 Jan 2026