generalzero
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Summary
If you asked Han Solo what this tale is about, he would say it is the story of how he, a handsome and courageous spacer captain, became the favorite acolyte of a terrifying eldritch void deity, joined the Rebel Alliance, and helped save the galaxy from an evil space wizard.
If you asked said eldritch deity, currently going by the name Firmus Piett, he would say that "favorite" is a bit of a stretch.
(AKA: What if my favorite Imps were actually old gods?)
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In which Alastor realizes he committed a bit too hard to the whole found-family gag, gets fucked up by the First Douchebag, and tries to pretend everything is fine. Shockingly, Charlie is not oblivious. Even more shockingly, the person she goes to for help is Vox.
This turns out to be a case of using the wrong equation but still getting the correct answer.
(Also known as the one where Al & Vox used to bait angels, until they didn't.)
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In most universes where this story plays out, one of the first people Vox meets upon falling to Hell is a charming, bloodthirsty cannibal overlord who eventually steals his heart.
Usually, that overlord is Alastor.
This time, it's Rosie.
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This time, Harry really, really means it. He's never going back to Privet Drive. The brief, shining moment of happiness between Sirius's offer to raise Harry and Pettigrew's subsequent escape ruined Harry for anything less than a real home--a place where he's just Harry, not the Boy Who Lived or the freak in the cupboard. Harry is ruined, and so this time he means it. He is never going back to Privet Drive.
And this time, Harry knows ahead of time where he's going to go.
Swallowing back his inexplicable nervousness, Harry holds out the sickles to Stan and calmly says, "I'm going to the House of No Blood."
Series
- Part 2 of The House of No Blood
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Summary
When Aloy raises her spear to end HADES before the doors of LATOPOLIS, she hesitates. It doesn't seem right somehow, despite all the pain and destruction the AI has caused, to kill it in cold blood. Not when it has been reduced to defenseless, malfunctioning wreck by Sylens' tender care. Not when its formerly formidable voice has diminished to a weary, resigned rumble.
Just her luck, that out of all the enemies Aloy has made and vanquished since the Proving, the first one to ask for mercy would be HADES, who categorically does not deserve it.
Elisabet Sobek, she thinks, would do what had to be done. She—they—had sacrificed so much to save Earth. What did a scratch on her conscience matter compared to her duty to humanity?
But... Aloy wasn't Sobek's daughter.
She was Rost's.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 11,758
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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"A Qualitative Analysis of the Difficulties of Isolating a Specific Iteration of an Individual within the Multiverse" --by Otto Octavius, PhD. by generalzero
Fandom Spider-Man (Movies - Raimi), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
30 Jun 2024
Summary
Otto should have anticipated that his mission to check on Peter One would not be as simple as tracking down the Stephen Strange of his own universe and conspiring with Norman to create a multidimensional anchoring device.
- Words:
- 9,310
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 18
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Summary
The first thing you had to remember about Jewel Casino was that you couldn't buy chips with money. It wasn't that kind of casino. You couldn't gamble your soul either. The casino's owner, the enigmatic and unnerving Opal Nox, was not interested in souls. Then what were you supposed to bet, you ask? The color of your eyes. All your memories before you were three years old. The second best day of your life. Anything you liked really. When you cashed out at the end of the night, you could buy those things back ...or you could buy other things.
The second thing you had to remember was deceptively simple: the House always wins.
- Words:
- 27,447
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 11
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Summary
Gregory wants to rescue the possessed animatronics, but Glitchtrap holds all the cards. All except for two: a protective Freddy Fazbear, and a ride or die Daycare Attendant. The clock is ticking, but this time six am doesn't guarantee a happy ending.
Featuring a surprisingly cunning Sun, an unsurprisingly feral Moon, and a Freddy Fazbear working out his existential crisis of sentience by sucker-punching anyone who looks at Gregory sideways.
Split POV: Sun, Moon, Freddy, Gregory.
- Words:
- 10,308
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 16
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Summary
The thing about Dumbledore was that he favored telling people what he thought they needed to hear, rather than telling them the plain truth. For example, when he told Harry Potter in second year that only a true Gryffindor could pull Godric's sword out of the Sorting Hat, he was just trying to reassure a student who was uncertain they belonged to their House. He was, however, not only lying, but wrong. A Hogwarts student belongs to *all* the Houses, and many things other than a sword have sprung mysteriously from the Sorting Hat.
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The four Founders of Hogwarts were by no means the greatest or most powerful wixen ever known, but on Hogwarts grounds and over Hogwarts students, their influence is sacrosanct. Whether through the magic of the Sorting Hat and the castle itself, or some other cunning, mysterious means of reaching through time, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.
- Words:
- 3,539
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 52
Recent bookmarks
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Showdown at Alliance Ranch by Wishfulthinking1979
Fandoms: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
30 Aug 2020
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In the town of Executor, Leia Organa runs Alliance Ranch, which is under threat from the evil land baron, Sam Palpatine. She turns for help to her loyal Sheriff, Firmus Piett, and his good friend, (who happens to be the Marshal) Max Veers.
But things are looking bad for our heroes when a dark and mysterious vigilante rides into town straight from the past. What is his connection to the new cowboy she hired? Why does this handsome gambler keep showing up?
And how will she keep her ranch from the greedy and grasping reach of Empire Enterprises and Sam Palpatine?Bookmarked by generalzero
18 Feb 2026
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Timeless Love Can Shake Any Foundation by KlarionTheWizard for ZombieLieutenant
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types
15 Nov 2025
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Summary
Maximilian Veers, Firmus Piett, and Darth Vader have time traveled back to the Clone Wars after their deaths.
Veers gets assigned to sabotage the Empire's rise. The universe decides he doesn't have to do it alone.
Bookmarked by generalzero
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
Hatter takes to her world like a duck to water, a fish in a pond, and somehow it's Alice who's now out of her depth.
Bookmarked by generalzero
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Mom, this is Hatter,” Alice says proudly, beaming all over her face in a way that makes Hatter feel a little like he’s been poked square in his unworthy chest with the world’s nicest cattleprod. “He saved my life.”
“Yes, I know,” Carol says with obvious befuddlement and slight disapproval. “But how do you know him? You do actually know him, right?”
What a question.
Series
- Part 1 of the head to my hat
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,889
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 306
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 3,496
Bookmarked by generalzero
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
"Though that was over 150 years ago," Hatter remarked skeptically as he turned to give this Alice a once over. "Oyster's don't even live that long."
Bookmarked by generalzero
27 Jan 2026