dirtbugs



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  1. Public Bookmark 51

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    "All considered there would be bigger fish, when St. Peter would tally up his crimes. But somewhere along the way Satan must have dug his talons into him, because there was no holy reason for why he should enjoy the feeling of a man's flesh beneath his fist the way he does. For why the pain of a receiving blow should excite him so. He always knew he liked it too much, even when he was younger. Liked the way it made his blood run hot, the way when the other boys would take their shirts off and then he'd know he was sinning just by being there."

    Henry keeps showing up with mysterious injuries and terrible lies. Hans is determined to get to the bottom of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,391
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    221
    Bookmarks:
    51
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    14 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 5

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    “Oh, don’t you remember that time you forced me to brew you a potion to attract women, and it only gave you a terrible rash on your face? I swear, it looked like you had laid with a frog, you were so covered in warts.”
    “No, Sir Hans, you didn’t fight him off. You called him ‘arse-n-balls’ and then he almost killed you. I had to come rescue your sorry arse.”
    “What are you talking about? I completely trounced you in that bet. You really thought you could beat me. You should’ve. I had only just started swordfighting.”
    It is only so strange because Henry jumps to defend Hans at seemingly any other opportunity. But whenever a woman so much as looks in his direction, he must bring up Hans’s terrible stench after a hunting trip, or how they sometimes sleep in the same bed in the winter and Hans snores terribly, or how Hans once fell into a puddle of mud and had to walk back to Pirkstein with it smeared all over his backside.
    It really is peculiar.

    In which Henry is the worst wingman and Hans is oblivious as hell.
    OR, All the women Henry prevented Hans from seducing, and the one time his seduction actually worked.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,865
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    517

    13 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The Royal Baldur Ballet's upcoming season is poised to be the most dramatic yet. With seven gorgeous ballets to stage, first soloist Astarion Ancunín is convinced this will be the season he finally shines bright enough, worthy of the rank of principal dancer. Enter Wyll Ravengard, stage left, and everything is about to change.

    ~*~

     

    Wyll Ravengard is most definitely not an apprentice. Astarion knows that name, Wyll Ravengard. He won the Prix de Lausanne five or so years ago, the most prestigious competition for ballet students. Even as a student, it was clear that Wyll was going to be the ballet world’s next big star.

     

    And now he’s here, in Astarion’s barre spot. In his rank.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    188,700
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,675
    Kudos:
    753
    Bookmarks:
    145
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    25,695

    11 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 39

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    “Good god, Henry, again already? Still feels like you sucked my soul out of my cock with your arsehole.”

    “Don‘t say it like that. I thought it was romantic,” Henry grinned, and wiped a bead of sweat off Hans’ brow with his thumb. In a display of infinite and glorious romance, he licked it.

    “Thought you were about to pop, your face was so red, Sir Hans,” Henry snickered.

    Hans threaded a gentle hand in the overgrown hairs on the back of Henry’s head, and wrung his neck, just a little.

    “Someone fancies himself a minstrel, huh? I’m going to set Pebbles loose and make you walk back. Get in a good squeeze, because this is the last you'll be seeing of my backside.”

    “A fine backside it was, my lord. I’ll miss it dearly.”

    Hans takes to planning an outing to woo Henry. To spectacular results.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    1,678

    10 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 9

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    552

    09 Feb 2026