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OoOOooh I hope the monster in my closet doesn't come out and FUCK me by beemovieerotica
Fandoms: Monsters Inc. (Movies)
31 Oct 2024
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Summary
The economy of Monstropolis is in shambles. Nobody's scared of monsters anymore, and there are too many doors lying around leading to some random childless adult's bedroom. If only there were a way to generate loads of energy from the loud noises humans make...AND make horny furries happy...
And so the Fuck Division is born: a department within Monsters Incorporated set to meet the sustainable energy demands of a growing city. But it all has to be kept secret, of course, because touching a human can kill you...right?
[Footnote links should be functional for both chapter-by-chapter and Entire Work view]
[ 4/18/25 The printable version that John Oliver received with new footnotes and lore is available to download at https://monsterinmycloset.tiiny.site/ ]
Bookmarked by bogmachine
17 Nov 2025
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Summary
On the cusp of a promotion, Harry needs a little help with his image. Enter Draco Malfoy — who doesn't really do that, Potter — to whip him into shape… and make him feel things he hasn't for a very long time.
Featuring: odd jobs, surprising chemistry, lots of accidental kissing, the Prophet living up to type, owls exhausted by the carrying of dirty letters, a secret no one can talk about, a merry band of Slytherins (none of whom really approve), and an enchanted mirror (who really, really does).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,378
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 568
- Kudos:
- 6,481
- Bookmarks:
- 1,745
- Hits:
- 111,718
Bookmarked by bogmachine
07 Oct 2025
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Fixation by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) for ItsPhantasmagoria
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
06 Dec 2024
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Draco Malfoy is the new hire at the DMLE. But more importantly, he can't stop putting things in his mouth and Harry can't stop staring.
Bookmarked by bogmachine
07 Oct 2025
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Summary
After a long, bloody war, Draco Malfoy just wants to do something good with his life for a change, and resolves to become a healer. But magical society refuses to make it easy for him, and an increasingly dramatic series of events—all of them instigated by Harry Potter—get him kicked out of med school, force him to live in exile, and threaten to destroy the new life he’s trying so desperately to build.
But Harry isn’t instigating anything—at least not on purpose. He’s just trying to work up the nerve to ask him out. His efforts don’t appear to be going great.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,830
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 508
- Kudos:
- 9,374
- Bookmarks:
- 2,969
- Hits:
- 114,330
Bookmarked by bogmachine
07 Oct 2025
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Summary
Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.
Except Head Auror Potter is everywhere — in Draco's chair, at his door, in his dreams. All six feet of motorbike-riding, combat-boot-wearing, sex-hair-sporting Saviour of the World packed into one unfairly fetching uniform. Potter won’t leave Draco the bloody hell alone, won’t let him breathe, let him forget, let him sleep.
Because no matter how fast Draco Malfoy runs, Harry Potter is always hot on his heels.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,588
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 842
- Kudos:
- 9,654
- Bookmarks:
- 3,293
- Hits:
- 255,804
Bookmarked by bogmachine
07 Oct 2025
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track 2 by mockturtletale for yeongwonhanrain (pyrlucida)
Fandoms: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
06 Oct 2020
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Summary
“jesus fucking christ,” jimin says, low and stunned, and hoseok and seokjin must be those things too because they don’t even try to admonish him for his language. seokjin looks absolutely delighted about something and hoseok, when namjoon looks to him, is staring at namjoon’s hand. which is in the pocket of yoongi’s sweatpants. huh.
Series
- Part 2 of even if winter comes again
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,457
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 117
- Kudos:
- 1,657
- Bookmarks:
- 274
- Hits:
- 15,813
Bookmarked by bogmachine
04 Oct 2025
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You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound_HP_archive
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Apr 2017
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Summary
As far as potion accidents go in general, and deaging incidents go in particular, Draco knew this could have been so much worse. Harry only lost about ten years, and all his memories are still intact. But the sight of him looking as if he’s stepped straight out of Draco’s Hogwarts memories has dredged up a whole mess of complicated feelings Draco thought he’d buried years ago, and Draco really doesn’t know what to do with any of it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,004
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 464
- Kudos:
- 12,839
- Bookmarks:
- 2,741
- Hits:
- 181,125
Bookmarked by bogmachine
03 Oct 2025
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House Style for Gryffindors by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for lauren3210
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Dec 2014
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Summary
The Slytherins have always ruled the Sortilegus, a wizarding society magazine popular since the Middle Ages which lost most of its staff during the recent Unpleasantness (informally known as the Campaign against Noses). Pansy Parkinson has just been made the youngest witch ever to head the publication and has been charged with livening up the magazine and helping it move into post-war society whilst maintaining tradition.
Which is all fine by Draco until she brings Harry Potter on staff, an obvious attempt to force Draco into a nervous breakdown by requiring him to work cheek-by-jowl with his arch-nemesis.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,735
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 3,114
- Bookmarks:
- 535
- Hits:
- 47,691
Bookmarked by bogmachine
02 Oct 2025
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Boom Clap (The Sound of My Heart) by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for firethesound
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Dec 2016
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Summary
Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms. It’s a veritable wizarding utopia and life is predictable for the first time in years. Which is, of course, when everything blows apart as the result of a drunken dare and Malfoy’s life is ruined beyond his capacity to repair it. Ever. In a million years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,547
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 5,526
- Bookmarks:
- 1,422
- Hits:
- 102,112
Bookmarked by bogmachine
01 Oct 2025
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Little Talks by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for nerakrose
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Aug 2012
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Summary
Draco's been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he's sure it's just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,351
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 275
- Kudos:
- 25,654
- Bookmarks:
- 4,403
- Hits:
- 325,279
Bookmarked by bogmachine
01 Oct 2025
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Summary
Harry does not like Draco Malfoy, not even one bit. Never did and never will. That is, until he finds himself married to him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,244
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 964
- Kudos:
- 6,584
- Bookmarks:
- 2,057
- Hits:
- 112,718
Bookmarked by bogmachine
29 Sep 2025
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You open always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore for bixgirl1
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Dec 2017
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Summary
Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,214
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 930
- Kudos:
- 12,398
- Bookmarks:
- 3,202
- Hits:
- 249,375
Bookmarked by bogmachine
28 Sep 2025
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Summary
Draco’s umbrella has a hole in it.
Because of course it would.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,832
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 328
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 2,217
Bookmarked by bogmachine
24 Sep 2025
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The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks) by eidheann, firethesound_HP_archive
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Jul 2015
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Summary
After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the
eighteentwenty dicks.Series
- Part 1 of Dick Chicken
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,638
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,014
- Kudos:
- 8,707
- Bookmarks:
- 2,481
- Hits:
- 146,790
Bookmarked by bogmachine
22 Sep 2025
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The Last Day We Ever Close Our Eyes by firethesound_HP_archive for LowerEastSide
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Aug 2019
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Summary
When Draco Malfoy returns to the public eye by purchasing a run-down little antiques shop on Knockturn, Harry is convinced that he is up to something. It turns out that Harry is both very right and very wrong about that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,641
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 245
- Kudos:
- 5,794
- Bookmarks:
- 1,355
- Hits:
- 79,784
Bookmarked by bogmachine
22 Sep 2025
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What Dreams May Come by firethesound_HP_archive for slytherco
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Dec 2020
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Summary
If Harry had to get called into work on his day off, at least he was able to get Malfoy called in too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,127
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 310
- Kudos:
- 6,277
- Bookmarks:
- 1,612
- Hits:
- 90,088
Bookmarked by bogmachine
21 Sep 2025
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Sugar Sweet by The_Sinking_Ship for unused (hiimcibee)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Mar 2021
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Summary
Draco thinks everyone forgot his birthday. (They didn’t.)
Bookmarked by bogmachine
21 Sep 2025
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Chasing Dragons by The_Sinking_Ship for Ladderofyears
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Jul 2021
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Summary
Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece.
But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite.
Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,930
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 979
- Kudos:
- 15,547
- Bookmarks:
- 5,080
- Hits:
- 328,188
Bookmarked by bogmachine
21 Sep 2025
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A Convenient Impracticality by firethesound_HP_archive for Isinuyasha
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Dec 2015
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Summary
Somehow Harry ends up agreeing to a fake relationship with his ex-nemesis-turned-friendly-acquaintance-with-benefits, except for some reason it involves an awful lot of actual dating and, sadly, not much sex. Confused? Harry is too, but when has anything with Draco Malfoy ever been as straightforward as it seems?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,540
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 906
- Kudos:
- 24,178
- Bookmarks:
- 6,347
- Hits:
- 393,841
Bookmarked by bogmachine
21 Sep 2025
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Two to Lie and One to Listen by fluxweed for moondraconis
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Jul 2022
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Summary
It’s weird when Hermione announces that she and Ron have broken up. It’s weirder when this is followed by the revelation that she’s already moved on—and the new object of her affections is Draco Malfoy.
Things only get worse from there.
(A drarry fic featuring fake dating, jealousy and bad choices.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,562
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 661
- Kudos:
- 4,087
- Bookmarks:
- 1,187
- Hits:
- 85,484
Bookmarked by bogmachine
21 Sep 2025