Wild_Dog



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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

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    16 Feb 2026

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    Pummel: Fuck Jane

    St-Simon: nah…

    St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…

    Pummel: youre right

    Pummel: Sorry Jane

    Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV

    Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV

    Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?

    Carmichael: Bad timing, man.

    Connors: Oh

    Connors: Give me a second to read back.

    Connors: Oh….

    Connors: FUCK ROZANOV

    [Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]

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    13 Feb 2026

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    13 Feb 2026

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    Hayden Pike's best friend Shane Hollander is as predictable and reliable as it gets. But when Shane uncharacteristically fights with Scott Hunter, of all people, Hayden needs to know why. As he sits in Shane's living room, waiting for an explanation, things start getting progressively more confusing. Why is Shane coming out to him? And how does Lily play into this?

    OR

    Hayden finds out about Lily after Shane and Scott fight on ice. When Hayden throws down gloves to take on a dinosaur, his closest ally is the most unlikely person.

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    11 Feb 2026

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    “I’m sorry, but my answer is no. Someone else might be willing to switch if you ask.”

    “I can’t believe—this is unacceptable! I’m going to call the flight attendant over and get this sorted out right now!”

    Flustered and cornered, Shane injects his Captain Voice into the conversation. “Ma’am, I understand that you’re upset, but I paid for this seat and am going to stay here. You’ll have to find someone else willing to change places or just fly with the seat you booked. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

    She hisses like a goddamn tea kettle, and starts to say, “You are the most selfish man I’ve ever—” when another voice behind her says, “You are blocking my seat. Move.”

    Shane and the woman turn to assess the new arrival. It turns out that his seat partner is well above six feet tall, ripped as hell, and knows how to deliver an excellent bitch face. He’s also the hottest man that Shane has ever seen in real life, including a chance run-in with Jensen Ackles at a Stars game.

    Or, still!famous Shane meets non!famous Ilya on a cursed flight from Ottawa to Boston and kind of (totally) falls in love with him at first sight (and first chirp)

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    30 Jan 2026