WhetherItsTwoMinutes
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I'm All Right Now by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
10 Feb 2026
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"What happened to you?"
"I was being nosy and took a beating for it. You should watch out so you don't end up like me."
The kid huffs and crosses her arms. "You can't even stand up to beat me, so I can be as nosy as I want."
Joel just stares at her blankly. Being silent usually worked on Tommy, whenever he made up his mind that today was the perfect day to drive Joel up the wall. Usually being the key word here.
She narrows her eyes and looks closer at his casts. "What, is it something embarrassing?" she asks and leans forward, the look on her face suggesting that she is delighted by the idea. "Like you fell down the stairs or something?"
"I didn't fall down any stairs," Joel grumbles.
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Joel has an accident at work and ends up in the hospital. Ellie is a foster kid who's there to keep him company. Joel is not happy about that. He's not.Spoiler alert: Joel totally fell down those stairs.
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Shaving Is Caring by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
11 Dec 2025
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“You ever seen Joel without his beard?” Tommy asks.
That makes Ellie stop. She turns wide eyes on Joel, studying his face like she’s seeing it for the first time. “I have not,” she says slowly, contemplatively.
“Absolutely not,” Joel says before she can add anything else.
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Joel shaves his face to cheer Ellie up. It does not go according to plan.A story full of Christmas fluff and humor in the Miller household. :)
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Not an Ocean, But Close Enough by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
03 Nov 2025
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With the arrival of summer in Jackson, Joel decides to take Ellie on a trip.
It’s been long overdue. The months they spent on the road were hard for obvious reasons. Added to that his injury, the trauma Ellie subsequently experienced when she was left alone to fend for the both of them and then the realization that the entire journey wouldn’t yield the results she was hoping for… it’s not been good, to say the least.
So a trip outside the walls it is.
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Or: Ellie and Joel go on a little beach vacation. -
Hit Me With the Force of Your Love by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
26 Sep 2025
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“Besides, it doesn’t really matter.” At the change of her tone, Joel glances back at her and finds her calculative look. “I saw how you killed him.”
Joel takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I was passing by and I heard your screams. I defended a kid.”
“Yeah.” She snorts. “Passing by with a gun. Miles away from any city.”
“It's called hiking. And plenty of folks carry a gun these days.”
“And wear leather gloves. In summer.”
They glare at each other. The girl’s eyes glint dangerously in the dim light and she lifts one eyebrow in challenge, a look on her face that dares him to object.
“You weren’t just passing by. You came here to kill him.”
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Or: A hitman Joel AU, where one of his contracting jobs goes south, but it might be the best mistake of his life. -
Miller, Texas Ranger by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
01 Sep 2025
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The Ultimate Book of Chuck Norris Facts, says the title.
Underneath that there’s a figure of a man with bulging muscles, riding a dinosaur.
“He’s got a cowboy hat, Joel. Maybe he’s from Texas, too. Is he a friend of yours?” Ellie asks, her eyes glinting mischievously.
Joel rolls his eyes. “No.”
“You know who he is though, right?”
Joel hesitates just long enough for Ellie to catch on. The kid is like a bloodhound sometimes, with the way she can sniff out things to tease him about.
“I knew it! Who is it? It says here he’s the ultimate human.” She opens the book and reads from it with a dramatic voice she reserves for her most obnoxious puns. “When the zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive. The zombies try to survive Chuck Norris.”
Joel groans but the sound is drowned out by her giggling.
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Or: 5 times Joel is subjected to Chuck Norris puns
Recent bookmarks
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tell the saint of lost souls where to find me by two_birds_alone_together for alysoncf
Fandoms: The Last of Us (Video Games), The Last of Us (TV)
17 Sep 2023
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Joel survives his encounter with Abby. Barely. Maybe.
Series
- Part 13 of Bad Things Happen Bingo
Bookmarked by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
31 Jan 2026
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"Merlin," Uther says, "For your alleged crimes, I would normally sentence you to death by fire. But, because my son has requested it… I have granted you a fair trial. All witnesses and involved parties shall state their cases, and then a verdict will be reached. Is this understood?"
"Yes sire."
"Now you will each tell me, in your own account, what on earth happened this week."
"Your majesty, it all began Tuesday…"
- Language:
- English
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- 15,081
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
26 Nov 2025
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throw me in the thicket (when i die) by LilyElk13
Fandoms: The Last of Us (Video Games), The Last of Us (TV)
05 Mar 2023
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Joel is old, like was-grown-up-before-the-world-went-to-shit old, would-have-a-grown-up-daughter old, knee-pain-and-back-pain-and-all-over-pain-old, deaf-in-one-ear old. Joel is old, and tired, and sad. A lot tired. A lot sad. Mostly old.
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Joel's journey through grief, life, death, fatherhood, and what it means to be on this earth.
(Inspired by the song Throw Me in the Thicket (When I Die) by The Local Honeys) :)
Bookmarked by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
29 Sep 2025
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sit & stay by ninesunrisedogs
Fandoms: The Last of Us (TV), The Last of Us (Video Games)
20 May 2023
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Joel’s plumb out of luck, it seems, because running after the dog is the little girl. She’s out of breath, still halfway laughing, and for a few seconds she doesn’t notice him. In those seconds, her face is wide open in a grin, dark hair wild and posture loose. She can’t be more than thirteen, maybe a small fourteen, and she’s clumsy in the way teenagers are right after a growth spurt. There’s a knife in Joel’s chest, the one that’s been there for twenty years, and it twists.
(or, joel accidentally gets a dog. apparently, the dog comes with a mouthy fourteen-year-old kid, and maybe also a reason for living again.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,531
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 296
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- 1,235
- Bookmarks:
- 326
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- 16,058
Bookmarked by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
11 Jun 2025
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“I don’t mean to be insensitive here, Ellie. I don’t. But I think it’s important for you to be realistic about something. Your mother didn’t stop fighting for a cure just because she got pregnant. Anything could have happened to her- anything could have happened to you. But she decided that was a risk she was willing to take. Losing you for greater good was always a possibility for her. She was willing to pay the cost.”
It aches. Physical, cutting pain that wells in her throat and stings in her eyes. Confirmation of the fear that sits with her in her bed at night, curled up next to her on the ratty old mattress. It rises in her chest when the other girls cut their eyes her way before giggling behind cupped hands. It rings in her ears in the silence of the hole, an unfriendly ghost that won’t leave her alone like everyone else has.
No one wants her. No one ever has.
or,
Ellie's known the plan from the very beginning. Joel...hasn't.
Bookmarked by WhetherItsTwoMinutes
09 Jun 2025