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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,089
    Kudos:
    33,979
    Bookmarks:
    7,148
    Hits:
    190,970

    26 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Ilya,” he breathes into Shane's open, slightly panting mouth. Shane jostles their position, pointing his thumb at his own chest in an exaggerated manner.

    “Shane,” he replies. Quietly, like it's a request, not a statement. Ilya's eyes gentle, and he kisses Shane's nose.

    “Shane.”

    Or: another "Shane stays post-tuna melt scene" fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    149
    Kudos:
    3,085
    Bookmarks:
    931
    Hits:
    17,213

    17 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first thing Shane Hollander tells his parents about the man he will marry one day is that he’s kind of a dick.

    Or, five times Yuna asked Shane about Ilya Rozanov (and one time she asked David about them).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    11,347
    Bookmarks:
    1,874
    Hits:
    81,371

    06 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Yuna, David - my husband just said he doesn’t love me anymore.”

    “I did not say that,” Shane argues, when he notes the disbelieving expressions on his parents’ faces. “I said we can’t get another dog.”

    “Exactly,” Ilya wails, throwing his arms up in the air. “Is same thing!”

     

    (Or, 5 times Ilya calls Shane his husband, and 1 time Shane calls Ilya his husband.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    380
    Kudos:
    11,574
    Bookmarks:
    2,283
    Hits:
    76,618

    05 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Your space is nice,” Hollander whispers back, leaning in, breath warm against Ilya’s chest. “Smells like mint.”

    Ilya stops breathing.

    Hollander’s eyes are half-lidded, dazed, soft in a way Ilya has never seen. “Ilya,” he murmurs.

    And Ilya nearly chokes. The first name. His actual first name. Whispered like something intimate. Sacred. They’ve never called each other by their first name. Always Hollander. Always Rozanov. Ilya is so stunned he almost doesn’t process the next words, almost can’t translate them despite living in the States for almost four years now.

    ---
    or: ilya is spiraling about what his roomate could be doing on a random tuesday night. he's not prepared when the night takes an unexpected turn.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,865
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    389
    Kudos:
    9,714
    Bookmarks:
    1,712
    Hits:
    102,788

    01 Feb 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You’re going to Boston.”

    Long after Farah hangs up, the words keep echoing in Shane’s head. If he had thought his thoughts had been chaotic this morning, when his biggest problem had been his rival potentially fucking him when he came to Montreal in two weeks, that’s nothing compared to the code-red panic that started the instant he found out he was being traded to Rozanov’s team.

    Rozanov, who was supposed to be his great career rival. Rozanov, who he’s hooked up with twice now. Rozanov, who had been planning on coming to Shane’s apartment in Montreal to fuck him the next time they saw each other. God, how on Earth is Shane going to walk into his locker room in Boston in a few days time?

    The impending awkwardness of dealing with Rozanov is almost enough to eclipse the hurt he’s trying to ignore. The knowledge that Montreal values him so little that they’re willing to dispose of him only six months into his rookie season. Almost, but not quite.

    -

    Or, Shane gets traded to Boston AU.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,933
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,392
    Kudos:
    17,281
    Bookmarks:
    5,044
    Hits:
    253,030

    31 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ❤️

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Lily: i am alive

    Lily: hurt

    Lily: but they gave me drugs it’s nice

    Lily: i want you

    Lily: my hands miss yours

    or; ilya gets injured on the ice. shane can't handle it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,930
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    469
    Kudos:
    25,366
    Bookmarks:
    5,094
    Hits:
    222,285

    30 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ❤️

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane works in IT.

    Ilya’s computer always seems to be fucked up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,303
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    734
    Kudos:
    21,096
    Bookmarks:
    4,700
    Hits:
    157,108

    04 Jan 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Voyageurs ask Shane to join FanMail in order to foster a better connection with fans. Internet sleuths start to notice some interesting details in the background of Shane’s videos, and then the internet does...what the internet does.

    Or Shane and Ilya are granted an opportunity to come out on their own terms. Sort of. And in they do it in a very Ilya way. (Surprisingly, it is Shane’s idea)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,185
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    40
    Comments:
    2,790
    Kudos:
    46,567
    Bookmarks:
    10,211
    Hits:
    413,482

    14 Dec 2025

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander is the number two overall NHL draft pick and a newly minted Montreal Voyageur. He’s also laser focused on his goals: being the best by beating the best. For him, this means a continued rivalry with number one draft pick—and new Ottawa Centaur—Ilya Rozanov. But when a problem with Rozanov’s immigration paperwork threatens his future in the NHL, what does that mean for Shane’s own career? He can’t risk finding out…so they get married. Just for immigration. A fast, practical, mutually beneficial solution.

    No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,024
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    1,654
    Kudos:
    23,441
    Bookmarks:
    7,381
    Hits:
    471,505

    14 Dec 2025

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Who needs a nice guy in Montreal, anyway?

    (or; 5 people who were pleasantly surprised by ilya rozanov)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,716
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    368
    Kudos:
    14,568
    Bookmarks:
    2,714
    Hits:
    106,028

    13 Dec 2025

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,458
    Kudos:
    49,203
    Bookmarks:
    11,622
    Hits:
    516,399

    06 Nov 2025

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The term, he’s told, is temporary retrograde amnesia. Ilya doesn’t need the direct translation to understand: he forgot things. Ten years of things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,179
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    562
    Kudos:
    19,061
    Bookmarks:
    4,178
    Hits:
    162,826

    03 Nov 2025

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Draco stumbles across a memory-wiped Hermione in a small muggle town. He should probably tell someone - people are looking for her, no doubt.

    But it turns out that without her memory of him, Hermione actually seems to like Draco. He can even make her smile, and that makes him feel things he’d rather not examine.

    Maybe he’ll wait to tell anyone, just for a little while.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,598
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    1,768
    Kudos:
    4,512
    Bookmarks:
    1,256
    Hits:
    108,300

    27 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    16/?

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Fairytale/Castle AU 💝 Pining Draco, bookish Hermione.

    Hermione lives a sheltered life behind castle walls, but her desire for adventure sometimes gets her into trouble.

    Draco Malfoy is a member of the Royal Guard, fresh off a highly-decorated stint as an elite soldier. He thinks about Hermione a lot, but that's just because it's part of his job to protect her, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,359
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    848
    Kudos:
    4,800
    Bookmarks:
    1,546
    Hits:
    126,575

    26 Aug 2025

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Hermione, I don’t think Malfoy has been teasing or insulting you. I think…” Ginny rolled her tongue in her mouth, struggling to speak the next words: “I think he was trying to court you.”

    “What? No!"

    -

    Hermione is determined to smile through Malfoy’s blatant taunting without biting his head off.

    Draco is delighted that Hermione responds well to his courtship instead of biting his head off.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    170,000
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    2,534
    Kudos:
    6,030
    Bookmarks:
    2,595
    Hits:
    281,078

    26 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    6/10/15 funny so far, unexpectedly charming

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Something the matter?” he looks deceptively earnest, a bit of a tease in his voice. Hermione’s sure it’d be doing something to her if she weren’t so cross. “I’m sensing hostility. You know how important a safe work environment—”

    “Save it, Malfoy.” She’d slap him again if he weren’t so far away. “You pointy little saboteur.”

    He drops the act with a sigh. “Gods, Granger, you really do need to get laid.”

    “Yes, that seems to be the general consensus,” she seethes, fixing him with a harsher glare, “Unfortunately, my efforts to achieve orgasm were thwarted by a prat with a white-knight complex.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,000
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    255
    Kudos:
    1,550
    Bookmarks:
    456
    Hits:
    40,189

    26 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Loved the buildup

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Draco looked miserably at the low ceilings and stone walls of what were apparently going to be his living quarters at Hogwarts. The rooms were minuscule. He made one last effort. “I understand that living in the castle is a tradition here, but professors at Beauxbatons—”

    Granger glared at him, arms crossed and hip cocked. In her sensible heels, she was exactly his height, yet they did not see eye to eye. “Let me guess, Professor Malfoy: you skied down to the campus every morning from your mansion above the clouds? And a dozen elf-made croissants awaited you in an office the size of a ballroom?”

    “Oh, you’ve been, then?”

    “This is your suite. Happy housewarming. Goodbye.” She whirled away, heels clicking on the stone floor.

    Draco was left grumbling to no one, a state he found himself in after nearly every interaction with the Director of Hogwarts.

    In which Draco Malfoy obtains his dream job at Hogwarts, and Hermione Granger obtains a Problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,693
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    463
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    6,058

    24 Aug 2025

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The owl squeezed itself through the rusting bars of his Azkaban cell and flew to the ground, hooting in triumph and waddling around on the dusty floor. Draco grasped the owl gently in his fist to still it, then withdrew the letter from the mail bag.

    His heart thudded. Who was contacting him? His mother? Pansy? Not one of the Death Eaters, surely?

    Then he unrolled the page and let out a disbelieving huff.

    It was a fucking survey.

    Well. They wanted a response? He’d give them one.

    • On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how clean are Azkaban’s facilities? — Fuck you
    • On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how humane has your treatment been at Azkaban? — Fuck this
    • Any additional comments? — Fuck off

    P.S. Your owl is insane

    In which a well-meaning researcher, Hermione Granger, runs a study without realizing who Participant 1 is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,082
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    351
    Kudos:
    1,721
    Bookmarks:
    367
    Hits:
    19,671

    24 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Charming and delightful ❤️❤️❤️

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A public scandal. A ruined relationship. And Narcissa Malfoy, ever the strategist, sees her opening.
    Now Hermione’s caught in the crossfire of high society, whispered schemes, and a slow-burn attraction to the last man she expected.
    Narcissa’s pulling the strings—and she plays to win.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,363
    Chapters:
    38/38
    Comments:
    1,087
    Kudos:
    2,336
    Bookmarks:
    910
    Hits:
    75,479

    24 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Tbr

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