Toebeans789



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,087
    Kudos:
    33,837
    Bookmarks:
    7,123
    Hits:
    190,205

    26 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya,” he breathes into Shane's open, slightly panting mouth. Shane jostles their position, pointing his thumb at his own chest in an exaggerated manner.

    “Shane,” he replies. Quietly, like it's a request, not a statement. Ilya's eyes gentle, and he kisses Shane's nose.

    “Shane.”

    Or: another "Shane stays post-tuna melt scene" fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    3,060
    Bookmarks:
    925
    Hits:
    17,068

    17 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The first thing Shane Hollander tells his parents about the man he will marry one day is that he’s kind of a dick.

    Or, five times Yuna asked Shane about Ilya Rozanov (and one time she asked David about them).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    11,339
    Bookmarks:
    1,872
    Hits:
    81,278

    06 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Yuna, David - my husband just said he doesn’t love me anymore.”

    “I did not say that,” Shane argues, when he notes the disbelieving expressions on his parents’ faces. “I said we can’t get another dog.”

    “Exactly,” Ilya wails, throwing his arms up in the air. “Is same thing!”

     

    (Or, 5 times Ilya calls Shane his husband, and 1 time Shane calls Ilya his husband.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    380
    Kudos:
    11,544
    Bookmarks:
    2,276
    Hits:
    76,419

    05 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Your space is nice,” Hollander whispers back, leaning in, breath warm against Ilya’s chest. “Smells like mint.”

    Ilya stops breathing.

    Hollander’s eyes are half-lidded, dazed, soft in a way Ilya has never seen. “Ilya,” he murmurs.

    And Ilya nearly chokes. The first name. His actual first name. Whispered like something intimate. Sacred. They’ve never called each other by their first name. Always Hollander. Always Rozanov. Ilya is so stunned he almost doesn’t process the next words, almost can’t translate them despite living in the States for almost four years now.

    ---
    or: ilya is spiraling about what his roomate could be doing on a random tuesday night. he's not prepared when the night takes an unexpected turn.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,865
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    388
    Kudos:
    9,690
    Bookmarks:
    1,708
    Hits:
    102,479

    01 Feb 2026