Staycalm



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    James Bond is the teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Q is the new Transfiguration teacher. They are absolutely in love.

    Q is beginning teaching at Hogwarts, with the backdrop of You-Know-Who soon to return. Harry Potter is attempting an illicit relationship, Bond is lying, and Q's entire world is a secret. The Holmes brothers are on the run, and Raoul Silva is far from benign.

    Or: The Order of the Phoenix, with bonus Holmes boys and a pair of not-quite secret agents.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,466
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    780
    Kudos:
    1,588
    Bookmarks:
    330
    Hits:
    60,609

    26 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    1,219,490
    Works:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    8,850

    27 Jun 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    How one choice changed history's course, or the life of Severus Snape from Hogwarts to adulthood if characters were less caricatural, and Voldemort and the Death Eaters were more than bogeymen.
    This is an AU, events before and after may differ from the books.
    AN-2024/08/01: I have written a third story in this universe called Marvolo's Choice which is a short alternate ending to Severus' Choice.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    544,280
    Chapters:
    80/80
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    715
    Kudos:
    1,312
    Bookmarks:
    411
    Hits:
    81,125

    15 Oct 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    July 8, 2021 - June 14, 2023:
    706 days.
    1,262,342 words.

    And Chaos Harry’s journey is at an end.

    (Afterlife and Missing Moments to be updated eventually, but the main series is over)

    Words:
    1,472,887
    Works:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    6,519

    23 Sep 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Maria Elena Popescu’s apartment building might be a faceless grey dump, but it’s her faceless grey dump, and she’s proud of it. It’s small – three floors, and three very poky flats to a floor, except for the bottom floor that was the entrance hall and her own quarters – but that just meant she knew everybody who lived here, and liked them. Nobody was allowed to come in here and make it worse, or disreputable, not even tall dark and good-looking foreigners who reacted with an appropriate amount of fear when Maria eyeballed them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,595
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    290
    Kudos:
    3,053
    Bookmarks:
    1,054
    Hits:
    19,685

    15 Jun 2024