ShittyNovice
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Summary
Alhaitham’s agency throws him into a livestream dating show. As expected, he rejects everyone. Rudely.
“Name a key scientist involved in the laws of thermodynamics.”
“Newton?”
“What is your stance on Dialectic of Enlightenment?”
“Dia-what?”
“Name a philosopher. As an advantage, a dead one.”
“...”
“Next.”It shouldn't have been as surprising when someone finally snaps.
“Do you even know the answers to these questions, or are you just waiting for someone to say Ibn al-Haytham to boost your own ego?”
Or: The internet is privy to Alhaitham falling in love on camera.
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
18 Feb 2026
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Wrong People, Wrong Time (at least two of these are lies) by safittarius
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
After suffering through a nearly-fatal car accident, Alhaitham abandons his life in Sumeru City and moves to Port Ormos. New job, new people, new experiences—all of it ambushes him as soon as he disembarks the ferry, and Alhaitham can only hope that he finds his peace soon.
Those hopes, however, melt the second he meets the chef at his new job as a fine-dining restaurant manager. He recognizes the man he had a one-night stand with just yesterday, and instantly knows: it won't be an easy ride.
Kaveh watched him with a heavy stare. The air was constricting. Alhaitham walked to the door: so, there was a banquet the next day, and fast food chains never hosted those, so he needed to figure out the protocol of action, and…
“If anyone finds out about last night, I’ll serve you for tomorrow’s banquet as a main dish. Just saying,” Kaveh’s voice came from behind Alhaitham’s back, sweet, syrupy, the annoying, but not-so-annoying when it came from Kaveh Port Ormos’s accent and all.
Series
- Part 1 of Wrong People, Wrong Time
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,896
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 73
- Kudos:
- 171
- Bookmarks:
- 31
- Hits:
- 2,632
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
27 Dec 2025
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With Great Power Comes a Terrible Rent Split by dtnvrr4
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
27 May 2025
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Alhaitham is just trying to survive his final year of university while juggling his secret identity as Spider-Man without jeopardizing his academic standing or dying. Simple goals. Unfortunately, his biggest obstacle isn’t a supervillain—it’s his endearingly overdramatic roommate.
Who won’t stop asking Alhaitham why he keeps coming home bruised.
And won't stop yelling at Spider-Man to understand basic architectural integrity when slamming bad guys into buildings.
(Or: Spider-Man!Alhaitham and Gwen Stacy!Kaveh)
Series
- Part 1 of The (Not So) Greater Good
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,406
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 465
- Kudos:
- 1,194
- Bookmarks:
- 279
- Hits:
- 16,741
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
26 Dec 2025
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Five Times Kaveh Got Jealous (and the One Time Alhaitham Did) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
07 Dec 2025
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Summary
Five times Kaveh launched a dramatic crusade against perceived rivals for Alhaitham’s attention (with the conviction of a scorned philosopher-architect, involving suspicious soy milk, academic puns, semi-nude modeling, a watercolor balcony, and a flipped symposium chair). And the one time Alhaitham broke his champagne flute—and finally admitted he didn’t want to share.
Series
- Part 29 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
Alhaitham intently fixes his gaze on him, his expression unreadable. He studies him with that infuriating stillness that Kaveh had learned to love, like he's trying to translate an ancient language, not listening to someone digging their own grave.
"I see," Alhaitham says, finally grabbing his cup; "if that's what you want, senior. We can do that."
And Kaveh could leave it like that. Alhaitham had agreed faster than he imagined. But Kaveh fills the silence again, compulsively and fired up by his heart trying to escape through his throat.
"I just... I don't want this trip to be awkward for any of us. You know how they are, they will worry and I..." Kaveh makes a pause and takes a deep breath. "This is between us. I want to keep it like that. For now"
There's a pregnant pause before Alhaitham's voice breaks it.
"Alright," a sip of tea, "If that's what you need."
Or; Kaveh come with a plan to fake his relationship with his ex for a week trip with their friends. What starts as a simple lie to avoid drama becomes a fragile chance to see if what they lost can ever be rebuilt from what Kaveh thinks has become ashes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,527
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 181
- Bookmarks:
- 34
- Hits:
- 1,945
Bookmarked by ShittyNovice
02 Dec 2025