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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The enemy stand’s eyeless face split around its crooked grin, an expression of both contempt and sadistic glee. “There’s only one thing that will save the kid now and you know exactly what it is!”

    Jotaro did know, deep down, somewhere amidst the toxic current of foreboding stewing in his gut - but he’d be damned if he accepted that as the only way. Not before he’d tried absolutely everything else.

    But he had. He’d tried every single fucking thing. And still, Josuke’s fever kept rising, his temperature raging under his skin long beyond humanly possible, his face twisted in immeasurable pain.
    He was running out of time.

    Jotaro had believed he had a precise picture of the worst possible things that could happen to him - most of them he’s lived through. The fact that this most fucked up of scenarios hadn’t even crossed his mind should be a relief. A sign Jotaro still retains a shred of sanity. Not that it’ll last.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,443
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    366
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “You with me, kid? Won’t get to watch that show you’ve been raving about if you keep spacing out.”
    At last, Josuke managed to tear his gaze away from the dish monster. Jotaro had raised one bushy eyebrow at him in inquisition, the familiar intensity of his teal stare burning right through Josuke. And Josuke… Josuke felt a little like he imagined a cookie would while crumbling between his teeth.

    Yes, Josuke’s had the foresight to recognize Jotaro’s presence as one of the obstacles between himself and the fashion show he’s dying to watch. He just hadn’t expected that between Jotaro and the dish monster, Jotaro would be the bigger problem. A fatal miscalculation Josuke only has himself to blame for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    134
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Josuke glanced up at Jotaro again, the smile on his lips looked pained. The sight tugged at Jotaro’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways. “I made a mistake. I’m not in love with you.” A self-deprecating chuckle. “Obviously. It wasn’t even a crush. It’s just… you’re really cool, Jotaro, and I’ve never known anyone like you. So I ended up confusing admiration for something else. I’m really sorry, Jotaro. It was stupid of me.”

    This was easily the best possible outcome of this whole misguided, delusional mess. So why didn’t Jotaro feel relieved? Why wasn’t there a weight lifting off his shoulders? Why did it feel like a stone had dropped into his gut instead?

    Jotaro realizes how he feels only when it’s too late. Then again, timing doesn’t really matter - not when this love has been doomed before it even started.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,550
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    874
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Josuke was no stranger to butterflies - he’d had his fair share, embarrassing as it was to admit. Still, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that this time was different. Stronger. More meaningful. People called Josuke emotionally astute - he would know.

    But to think he’d have to deal with feelings, actual feelings, on top of all the stand chaos currently messing up his life beyond repair… Josuke was starting to wonder if he’d bitten off more than he could chew.

    Jotaro’s presence in Josuke’s life has an effect Josuke could never have pictured. And what an effect it is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,191
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    224
  5. Tags
    Summary

    There were more photos of the two of them together as Jolyne turned the pages, soft and worn from excessive use across a decade. More photos of her dad and that mysterious boy he had inexplicably dedicated an entire photo album to. So very disturbing.

    One of them showed the boy grinning at her dad, his arm around the boy’s shoulders and the beginnings of a soft smile battling his signature frown. And winning, from the looks of it. Jolyne violently rubbed her eyes but the picture was still right there when she checked again. So was her dad’s smile.

    Not a hallucination, apparently. Weird.

    When Jolyne visits her dad’s new apartment without prior notice, she becomes privy to a secret far beyond her wildest expectations.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,641
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    438
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The day was pretty awesome overall. A great day to hang out with Jotaro, to have some fun, play games, spend time together with his friends, relax, go sun-bathing, and so on…
    A great day for great things, mind. Definitely not a great day for Jotaro to break the news - The News - to him the moment Josuke stepped out his door.

    “Your mother asked me out on a date.”

    Josuke’s world crumbled around him just like that.

    Josuke’s heart breaks - is crushed and trampled - when Jotaro asks for his permission to date Tomoko. The man Josuke’s in love with (his older nephew, not that it matters now), attracted to his mom?! You can’t blame Josuke for being devastated.
    But is that really all there is to it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    37
    Hits:
    362
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Since attempt two at not-so guilty pleasure had gone splendidly, even without awkwardness - Josuke had made sure to dispose of any evidence himself to keep his mom from ever finding out about the nature of his experimentation (he had kept the lube, though, he would definitely be needing that) - it was time to move on to the next stage. This was a journey of interesting and educational experiences, after all, a very safe and normal-

    Who was Josuke kidding, he really just wanted something bigger up his ass so he could pretend it was his nephew’s huge cock fucking the living daylights out of him.

    Phase two of Josuke exploring the switch in his sexuality caused by an encounter with a half-naked Jotaro features an alien, an oversized dildo and a broken door.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    715
  8. Tags
    Summary

    In a spell gone wrong, Lance accidentally casts a curse that connects his and Mash's dreams.
    Will it be a blessing in disguise or is this supposedly little accident fated to grow into a full-blown tragedy?

    Either way, Lance should consider keeping his hands to himself or it won’t be long until Mash runs away to somewhere the sun doesn’t shine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,506
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    7,922
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It hadn’t escaped Jotaro’s notice that lately, he had been coming back to the apartment a lot more than he usually would. No matter where he was in the world, he always hurried home at the first opportunity after a mission, sometimes even knowing that he would have to leave again come morning. As though an invisible force was pulling him right back to Josuke. And maybe it was - maybe those Joestar family bonds were doing their job or whatever.

    What family bonds couldn’t explain, however, was how just a glimpse of Josuke’s confident grin had the power to get Jotaro through the day.

    But now that he knew what it felt like to have all that, he wasn’t so sure how he would manage when it was gone.

    When Josuke goes to attend high school in America thanks to a sudden scholarship, Jotaro agrees to take him in, even though he is aware of the intensely mixed feelings his decision will force upon him. (Or rather, further complicate a dilemma Jotaro has been struggling with for longer than he likes to admit.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,175
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,234
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In theory, Josuke knew that there was little as moronic as consuming a mysterious substance from a surface that was not meant to be licked but something about that delicious-looking drop of white made him abandon all caution in a heartbeat. The next thing he knew, he was cowering in front of it with his tongue on the shower wall.
    And, pray tell, that thick liquid was absolutely scrumptious. A bit salty and bitter and sweet and musky all at once and completely unlike anything Josuke had ever tasted - and damn did it make his taste buds cheer. Now, why wasn’t there more of that treat? If he could only-

    “The fuck are you doing down there?”

    When your nephew’s cum is so alpha you turn into an omega: Josuke Edition. And the before, in between and after.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,644
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    615
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Josuke must be in an even worse condition than he had thought - though the encounter with the zombie in the mirror this morning had been a dead giveaway - considering that Okuyasu went so far as to drop his breakfast at the sight of him. “Wow, you look like shit, man,” he informed Josuke like the charming gentleman he was. “What happened to you?!”

    Oh, nothing much, I just jacked off all night to the thought of my nephew fucking me into oblivion. You know, totally normal stuff.
    Yeah, Josuke definitely couldn’t say that.

    Jotaro answers his door half-naked and Josuke is sent into a spiral no amount of stand training could have prepared him for.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,566
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,093
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jotaro uttered a small huff that sounded suspiciously like a suppressed laugh. Jolyne had to do a double take. Why did the serious creases in his expression look softer than usual?
    “These starfish are known for their saturated blue color. Radiant, when the moonlight hits them just right. It reminds me of your eyes.”

    Jolyne could only watch helplessly as Josuke all but swooned at the worst pick-up line known to mankind.

    Ew. Ew. Please, just end her now.

    Jolyne really wants to see heads roll. Specifically, those of the two morons she definitely isn’t related to eye-fucking each other right in front of her.
    Hitmen click above for a full description of the job offer, advance payment in cash only. Please and thank you.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,427
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    371
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t worry, dear, I’ll be home soon. It’s just… I’m going through a pretty difficult time right now.”

    Watery blue eyes gazed at Jotaro’s lifeless, frozen face behind the glass once more. They hadn’t truly dried up even once since Josuke’s return to the lab - he couldn’t help but think that the drops of saltwater were one more reason for Jotaro to compare them to the ocean as he so often had, even though it had never been more than a joke. Josuke laughed dryly at the irony of it, most of the sound catching in his parched throat.
    Oh, what he wouldn’t give to hear Jotaro say those words just one more time, even if it was with their usual mocking undercurrent.

    “Give our little angel a kiss for me,” Josuke breathed into the speaker because that was what little of his voice he had left, his gaze never leaving Jotaro’s still face. ”I’ll see you soon.” They both knew it was a lie.

    Josuke visits Jotaro in the cryogenic chamber. Oh, and thank you for asking but no, he is not fine. Far from it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    223
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Koichi had figured the bit of experience Josuke had with alcohol would have taught him to hold back. Sure, Josuke was a daring guy and loved little more than challenging limits but he wasn’t irresponsible. For the most part.

    Or so Koichi had thought until he watched Josuke forgo the assortment of beers on the table altogether and reach for the sake bottle instead, hardly half an hour into their little celebration party.

    Drunk out of his mind, Josuke tells his friends all about his crush rejecting him. Little does he know that, rejection aside, said crush is still the one who comes running when Josuke needs him, even if it’s about a matter as trivial as getting a wasted kid back home.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,160
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    306
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Kaveh has had enough. No longer will he simply stand by and watch his devious roommate harass one of his best friends. As horridly as Alhaitham treats everyone, he seems to have it out for Cyno specifically. Why else would he go out of his way to make Cyno’s life an absolute nightmare?!
    It is time for Kaveh to step in and save the damsel in distress with a heart of gold from the poisonous snake.

    Or, Alhaitham, three months into his meticulous plan of courting the boyfriend of his dreams (with limited success), encounters an unexpected problem.

    Meanwhile, Cyno just wants Alhaitham to man up and propose to him already.

    -

    The six times Kaveh catalogs Alhaitham’s despicable offenses towards Cyno and the one time he realizes there have never been any at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,333
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    287
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    4,930
  16. Tags
    Summary

    It had long developed into a pattern - one that repeated itself with concerning frequency.

    Cyno had tried to fight it, over and over, desperate to keep his crumbling self control intact. Now, whenever he failed despite his best efforts, he had no choice but to accept the matter as one of the few things he was deeply involved in but had absolutely no control over.

    Or, the things hate can make the General Mahamatra do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    526
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    7,658
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As Cyno struggles with his conflicting feelings for Alhaitham, Sethos shows up in Sumeru City, acting overly suspicious. His goal seems to be… making a move on the object of Cyno’s affections?! To add to the growing pile of chaos, Kaveh and Paimon start playing matchmaker. For Alhaitham and Sethos.

    Cyno absolutely cannot deal with all of this on top of his existential crisis and awakened trauma after the events at the Temple of Silence.
    Oh, and there’s also the matter of a certain ancient God becoming vocal for the first time in over two decades - in order to repeatedly make it known that he utterly despises Cyno’s life choices.

    If only Hermanubis was the only divine being involved in this mess with an agenda of his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,021
    Chapters:
    5/8
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    175
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3,673
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Due to a number of adversely combined events, Alhaitham ingests a mysterious potion that makes him act completely unlike himself. Being mostly responsible for the incident, Cyno is left to put up with the scribe’s disturbingly affectionate antics, on his birthday of all days. He certainly hasn’t expected to become this close with Alhaitham - in not only the literal sense - hardly a month into their friendship. Or ever, for that matter.

    But it comes as even more of a surprise when he catches himself thinking that maybe, this mess of a birthday present isn’t all that bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,089
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    633
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    6,099
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dehya has always taken pride in being a great friend. It’s a huge compliment, considering how important her friends are to her and how seriously she takes the responsibilities that come with her unwavering loyalty.

    One of those duties is letting her friends know when they are being completely, absolutely, mind-numbingly stupid. Even if the friends acting like utter morons happen to be Alhaitham and Cyno, of all people. By the Scarlet King, they couldn’t be more obvious about their affection for each other or more oblivious to each other’s feelings if they tried.

    Dehya has watched their hopeless mutual pining for far too long already - it’s about damn time she takes matters into her own hands (with Candace’s trustworthy help). Who knows, it might just turn out that she was born to be the Queen of Matchmaking.

    -

    Or, five times Dehya tries to play matchmaker for Alhaitham and Cyno and the one time it actually works.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,987
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    3,358
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Aventurine is certain he has reached the end of his pointless life at last - in a fittingly meaningless way, despite his best efforts. After all, what meaning could there possibly be to rotting away in a prison cell for however much time he has left?
    Besides, it’s not like anyone out there would jump at the chance of starting a rescue mission, even if the entire universe hadn’t been told that Aventurine had died on Penacony.

    Fortunately for him, he hasn’t considered that a certain friend of his would continue to be a most unpredictable variable, even long after the failure of Aventurine’s own plans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,954
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    3,534

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