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I Crush Everything by gifbot
Fandoms: Jonathan Coulton Songs, I Crush Everything - Jonathan Coulton (Song)
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
Everything I want, I take
Everything I love, I break
Every night, I lie awakeBe a giant squid who crushes everything.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
22 Feb 2026
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Severus Snape is not dating Lily Evans...until he apparently is, and then everything gets a bit complicated.
Or: In which there is a custody battle over a kneazle and Severus learns that being in love is less a decision and more a state of being.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,393
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 395
- Bookmarks:
- 96
- Hits:
- 3,465
Bookmarked by Nobody02
21 Feb 2026
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- Words:
- 5,420
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Bookmarked by Nobody02
19 Feb 2026
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Harry hates his fame, it's so much more than he feels is fair, and can't die. Severus gave his all in secret and died before he could be fairly rewarded or praised.
OrMaster of Death Harry accidentally asks Death to help fix his depression.
"Hello, mum."
"You've been suffering, Harry," the soul of the late Lilly Jean Potter said gently.
"I don't want this," Harry said. "I didn't want to be special when I was a kid, and I don't want this now."
"That doesn't change what is," mum said. "You are the Master of Death. If you die, you only lose the ability to hide from Death among the living," there was a bit of censure under the gentle words.
"Immortality sucks," Harry spat out. "None of this is fair."
"Life isn't fair," she said, but Harry could swear a male voice echoed behind her. Perhaps it was just his own memories.
When the nightmare came, he didn't run this time. He stood in the void and let the cloying cold and damp envelop him. The cold mist surrounded him and passed over him, but the damp retreated to a respectable distance. There was a presence, an ancient darkness, just out of sight but obviously there.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,574
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 348
- Kudos:
- 658
- Bookmarks:
- 219
- Hits:
- 14,727
Bookmarked by Nobody02
08 Feb 2026
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Severus never anticipated the stroke of luck which led him to discover kindred spirits in Muggle London, yet it turned his life around. He never expected to fall in love either, but he must now deal with the consequences.
Written for a prompt: "At London Pride, Police Officer Harry clashes with Drag Queen Severus, who has An Opinion about cops at Pride."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,521
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 139
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 3,040
Bookmarked by Nobody02
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
A non-magical AU. A take on the Priest!Severus trope.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
03 Feb 2026
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Watch Me[Art] by encrenoire_art, greenglassy for Notlibatiusborage
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Nov 2025
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"You don't have to touch me," Severus began. "Just–
"Severus–"
"Watch me."Bookmarked by Nobody02
02 Feb 2026
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When a potion goes wrong, Harry spirals through time to discover he's in his five-year-old body. Determined to rewrite the future, his choices ripple across the years - changing allies and enemies. But as timelines blur and identities fracture, can Harry live a life that was never meant to be his?
Be warned, this is a slow burn.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
29 Jan 2026
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Four times Bruno Madrigal wet himself and one time he didn't have to go through it alone.
This is my first fic. Not beta read, we die like casita.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
29 Jan 2026
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Summary
Sugar daddy fleamont and sugar baby sev thats all.
- Words:
- 36,766
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 128
Bookmarked by Nobody02
28 Jan 2026
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Harry Potter and the Return of the Serpent Lord by Leonore4
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Aug 2025
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Summary
The moment the Death Curse struck Harry Potter's forehead and carved a scar into the toddler's skin, something else happened. In that moment, when the line between life and death blurred and time had no name, little Harry saw something he was perhaps never meant to see. He saw his former life. And Salazar Slytherin awoke.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 224,684
- Chapters:
- 56/56
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 2,236
- Kudos:
- 5,379
- Bookmarks:
- 1,665
- Hits:
- 212,395
Bookmarked by Nobody02
20 Jan 2026
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Planning, Scheming, Failing and Succeeding by KetsuArting, VindictaPrince (KetsuArting)
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Feb 2024
- Words:
- 22,473
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 25
Bookmarked by Nobody02
16 Jan 2026
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To Some a Gift by kelly_chambliss for akatnameseaster / someoldcat
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Sep 2012
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Summary
After Voldemort's first defeat, Severus has a great deal to atone for. Minerva finds a way to help him.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
13 Jan 2026
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It's been six years since Remus Lupin, age 25, left England after the death of his father and the slow dissolving of his friendship with the Marauders. A letter from James finds him in Canada at an opportune time, asking him to come home to meet his soon-to-be-born son.
Remus never expected that his time away would give him the perfect resume for teaching at Hogwarts, nor did he expect that his return would spark both conflict and resolution. If only he could get the Potion's Professor to understand how sorry he is for the way things turned out.
“What is the price for your forgiveness?”
“One Thousand Galleons.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,326
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 770
- Kudos:
- 2,117
- Bookmarks:
- 584
- Hits:
- 68,888
Bookmarked by Nobody02
11 Jan 2026
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One stolen potion bottle and one inquisitive friend is all it takes to turn Harry's whole world upside down. Luckily, it is all he needs.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
09 Jan 2026
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Artwork
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 0
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 40
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 175
Bookmarked by Nobody02
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Fanart of one y/o Severus Snape with his parents on his first birthday.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 46
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 243
Bookmarked by Nobody02
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
Sloom
(Sometimes, Harry dreams.)Things He Doesn't Know About the Boy
(Though of course, Severus isn't particularly concerned.)Bookmarked by Nobody02
07 Jan 2026
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AU. 6th year. Draco Malfoy has a secret - he's actually a genius. But even he can't see a way out of eventual servitude to Voldemort. Bill Weasley has a secret - he's spying for the Order. His cover is teaching Ancient Runes at Hogwarts, and Draco's in his class. 6th year brings debate class, mysteries, horcruxes, homework, and unexpected friendships.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 266,679
- Chapters:
- 30/31
- Comments:
- 1,418
- Kudos:
- 2,466
- Bookmarks:
- 716
- Hits:
- 93,402
Bookmarked by Nobody02
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
An overheard comment in a history of magic class leads Harry and Hermione to ask some profound questions, with some surprising help they stumble on an answer for harry s biggest issue —and that sometimes, it really can be that simple.
Bookmarked by Nobody02
22 Dec 2025