1 - 20 of 91 Works by ColorMeParanoid
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And because he was so busy shamelessly ogling the poor man, it took him an embarrassingly long amount of time to catch up with the fact that it wasn’t the whole room that was lit up. It was just him, standing under a spotlight and everyone else in the room was now looking at him expectantly as the song continued to play, something about riding and ponies that had nothing to do with actual horses.
Feeling like a star in a B-tier horror movie, Alec slowly turned his head to look behind him, hoping against all hope that they were all looking at something other than him. And there, like a scene from his worst nightmares, he noticed it for the first time.
A silver pole. One made for dancing to the raunchy music that was still blaring from some hidden speaker. Perfect for a stripper that Ragnor had thought he’d poached from a nightclub as a surprise for his friend’s birthday.
Well, Alec thought as all color drained from his face, it was safe to say that when Ragnor said that he was throwing a surprise party, the last thing Alec expected was being said surprise.
Or, the one in which Alec gets mistaken for a stripper
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Buck groaned as Eddie leaned a bit too far back, pressing his body fully against Buck’s own but before he could apologize, he felt a familiar shape pressed against his lower back. “I thought you said you didn’t have your flashlight on you.”
“What are you on about? I don’t have a-“
It seemed to be attached to Buck’s belt so he just groped it for a second, trying to figure out how to get it off when Buck’s entire body went rigid and he realized that the item he was holding didn’t exactly feel like a flashlight was supposed to. It was in a similar shape, sure, and it was hard but it wasn’t metal hard and he’d certainly never in his life encountered a flashlight that twitched under his grip. Or one that felt so warm to the touch.
“That’s not my flashlight,” Buck informed him in a strangled voice and Eddie went rigid too as the realization sank in. It was Buck’s cock. He was shamelessly groping Buck’s cock.
Or, the one in which Buck and Eddie get stuck in a hole
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The front door swung open and Eddie stepped out in all of his annoyed glory. “Buck, what’s taking so- oh,” he said, his face scrunched up like he’d just smelled something bad.
“Oh,” Tommy echoed, the smile on his face freezing into a pained grimace as the dots in his mind started to connect.
“What are you doing here?” Eddie demanded, arms crossed over his chest.
“He came to check on me. See how I was doing after the whole ‘Bobby is back from the dead’ thing,” Buck was quick to explain, since Tommy’s brain was still too busy rebooting. “Isn’t that nice?”
If anything, that set Eddie off even more. “What, and he couldn’t do that over the phone?”
Or, the one in which Tommy finds out Eddie's back from Texas
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he's got a key to my heart (and my handcuffs) by ColorMeParanoid
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
23 Apr 2025
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Experimenting while single required creativity, which Stiles had in abundance. What he severely lacked in, however, was patience. And Stiles had done a lot of stupid things in his lifetime, but as he tugged uselessly at the handcuffs that kept him chained to his bed by his rapidly bruising wrist, he couldn’t deny that this had to be one of the stupidest ones to date.
Especially when there was a loud, thundering knock on his door and a deep, male voice called out the words, “Fire department!”
God, what an absolute nightmare this day had turned out to be.
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“Daniel Molloy, I presume?” Lestat said and god, even his voice was sexy. Deeper than expected and that stupid accent was doing it for him, too. Jesus. If he were a couple of decades younger and far less wise, he’d go crawling back to him, too.
But he did have some self respect left, as well as a functional, if occasionally wonky self preservation instinct so when Lestat’s amused smirk reminded him of the fact that the bastard was prying into his every thought and probably having a good ol’ laugh about this old pervert daydreaming about licking him, he locked those thoughts down the way Louis taught him and gathered his composure.
“Your eyes are very blue,” he blurted out like a besotted fucking idiot.
Well. At least he tried.
Or, the one in which Daniel calls Lestat to come get his brooding husband out of his apartment and finally meets him in the process
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Buck scoffed, ripping his arm out of Eddie’s hold. “Seriously, Eddie? You’re really trying to sell me that ‘it’s not you it’s me’ crap?” When Eddie stayed silent for one moment too long, Buck turned around, more than ready to leave their shared bed and said, “Screw the couch. I’m going to stay with Maddie for a while.”
“I can’t stop thinking about Tommy,” Eddie blurted out and Buck was glad he was still sitting down because hearing that likely would have ended up with him falling right to the ground with the way he lost all feeling in his legs. And in general. All he could think through the sudden numbness taking over his body was-
“My ex boyfriend Tommy?”
And here he thought things couldn’t get any worse. Or more confusing.
Or, the one in which Eddie and Chris return home and there's only one bed
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“Louis, focus,” Armand’s sharp tone of voice dragged him back to the present. “You lost control.”
“I lost control,” Louis repeated.
“You bit him.”
“I bit him.”
“I saved him,” Armand said firmly, leaving no space for argument and Louis found himself nodding. If Armand said so, if he sounded so sure, then it had to be true, right? He was going to take care of Louis, he was going to take all the pain away if only Louis did as he was told. He promised.
“You-“
The door slammed open, flying straight off of the hinges from the force of the blow and in stepped Lestat in his full, furious glory.
Or, the one in which Louis and Lestat reunite in San Francisco
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It was a novel feeling, being desired. When Imasu asked to take him home tonight – and he was going to, there were no doubts about that – Alec might just say yes. He was so lost in his own head and all the possibilities of where this night might take him that he didn’t even notice that they had company until someone very pointedly cleared their throat.
Alec looked up, startled to see another gorgeous man standing next to their table, his almost golden eyes blazing with fury as he stared down at Imasu and said, “I see that you and I have very different definitions of what constitutes as a work meeting.”
The man glanced down where Imasu’s hand was still hidden under the table and Imasu immediately pulled away, straightening out in his seat and holding out said hand that had just been on Alec’s thigh up in defense, his confident façade cracking within seconds.
OR, the one in which Alec's first date takes an unexpected turn
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“You’re sore?” Magnus asked, considering and Alec nodded, already resigned to having to wait until his body was fully recovered for the next round. He tried to hide his disappointment but whatever Magnus saw on his face was enough for him to come to a decision and he gave Alec another indulgent kiss before he hummed to himself and asked, “Want me to kiss it better?”
Alec snorted, taking it as a joke that he assumed it was but Magnus wasn’t laughing. He was dead serious and Alec was completely lost. “What,” he said, more of a statement than a question but it still did the job of conveying his bewilderment.
OR, the one in which Alec gets introduced to the wonders of rimming
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you still do it for me, babe by ColorMeParanoid
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
07 Dec 2024
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“There might be some trouble in paradise,” Louis admitted now to Daniel who was kind enough not to gloat about it aloud. Not that it made much difference with their telepathic connection. The sentiment came through loud and clear regardless.
“Did he cheat on your again?” Daniel asked, not mincing his words. Louis shook his head. “Made you kill someone?” Another shake of the head. “He sucks in the sack and not in the fun way?” Whatever expression passed over Louis’ face was enough for Daniel to figure it out all at once. “Ah. There is it.” He shook his head and murmured to himself, “It always starts in the bedroom.”
Or, the one in which Louis and Lestat get their groove back (aka 'the Maître incident')
Series
- Part 1 of the mortifying ordeal of being known
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home is where the heart is (but that’s not where mine lives) by ColorMeParanoid
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
23 Nov 2024
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“Hey, did you do something new with your loft?” Eddie asked before Buck could share his movie pick for the night, squinting at what little he could see in the background of the screen. “It looks different but very familiar at the same time.”
Buck let out a nervous chuckle and tried to angle the tablet to show nothing more than just his now flushed face. “You know me, stress baking and home renovation shows are my main vices when I’m feeling down.”
Juggling a tablet and a plate of cookies in his shaking hands was no easy task and now that he knew that something was off, Eddie was like a dog with a bone. “Did you move?” Buck nearly dropped his tablet in his haste to turn it off but it was already too late for any kind of damage control. “Wait. Is that my house?”
Or, the one in which Eddie moves to Texas and Buck buys a house
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Louis had never seen Lestat act genuinely embarrassed. Ever. Not a single time in all of the years he’d known him. But here he was now, avoiding eye contract, hiding behind the curtain of his loose hair and fidgeting with the belt of his robe, visibly uncomfortable. He was mumbling, for god’s sake. Louis almost felt guilty for forcing the issue when Lestat finally spoke, though Louis couldn’t make out his words even with his superior vampire hearing.
When he told him as much, Lestat said again, properly this time even if it pained him, “I can turn into a bat.”
Louis couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing.
Or, the one in which Lestat can (allegedly) turn into a bat and Bram Stoker is (allegedly) a big fat petty liar
Series
- Part 2 of the mortifying ordeal of being known
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The man had yet to notice their presence, too focused on saying something to the boy sitting next to him and making him laugh. They were both fluffy haired and still in their pajamas, not even getting a chance to get ready for the day before the fire had put an abrupt end to their breakfast plans. Maybe it wasn’t the most adorable sight Buck had ever seen in his life but it was pretty high up on that list.
“Sir, I’m going to need you to step away from the house,” Bobby said as they rushed towards the house. Buck couldn’t see any signs of smoke, let alone a fire from the front door that was left wide open to air out the house but it never hurt to double check.
It was Bobby’s words that finally caught the man’s attention and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the full force of the 118 swarming his house. “Oh god,” he said on a groan. “Did someone call 911?”
OR, the one in which Eddie sets his kitchen on fire and Buck is instantly smitten
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Stiles didn’t know what he was expecting to happen next, but it certainly wasn’t Derek giving him a quick peck on the lips, whispering, “Goodnight,” and nuzzling into the back of his neck with a pleased little sigh, his hand slipping under his shirt just enough to press against his bare belly, forever seeking that skin on skin contact and not moving an inch lower into riskier territory. A perfect, cuddly gentleman.
Stiles was torn about being relieved that Derek didn’t want to have sex with him or being offended and kind of wanting to cry because Derek didn’t want to have sex with him. And Stiles wouldn’t be Stiles if he didn’t immediately latch onto the latter.
Or, the one in which Stiles turns eighteen and deals with the expectations that come with it
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He listened to her gush about her new job, already thinking about a proper way to celebrate it like a loving, supportive boyfriend that he tried so hard to be. As she came to the end of the story, though, Taylor’s smile started to slip. It was replaced by uncharacteristic trepidation instead, and Buck found himself at the edge of his seat as he asked, “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“The job,” Taylor said slowly, clearly hesitant, “it’s in New York.”
“Oh.” Buck let go of her hand and leaned back in his seat. “That’s…” he trailed off, not sure what to say. “Exciting.”
Or, the one in which Taylor gets a job offer in New York and (foolishly) asks Buck to move with her
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Eddie was kind to a fault; if Buck just asked to be held for a little while, Eddie would probably indulge him. But a ‘probably’ wasn’t certain enough for his liking and Buck couldn’t handle another crushing blow tonight, both literally and figuratively. Tonight, he just wanted to pretend for one last time that Eddie was his in all the ways he wanted him to be and bask in the feeling of being held and safe in his arms.
Besides, Buck loved sex, he really did. And maybe he wasn’t exactly in the mood for it right now, but once he was in the moment he was sure he’d get there with a little help. But even if he didn’t, it would hardly be a hardship to go through with it anyway to fast forward things to the cuddling afterglow he was desperately craving. He always enjoyed pleasing his partners, even if he didn’t get anything in return himself and he had enough experience in playing his cards right with others to make sure that Eddie wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference. None of his previous hookups ever did, or maybe they just didn’t care. It was sex they wanted from him, after all.
And as far as Buck was concerned, sex was the price of admission he was always more than happy to pay.
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“Hey, what’s that one from?” Tommy asked, his finger brushing over the small scar that Buck had all but forgotten was even there.
“That’s a memento from a very unfortunate first date,” Buck said, not thinking twice about it.
Tommy pulled back entirely, staring down at him with horror. “She tried to slit your throat?”
“What? No!” Buck was quick to correct him, wincing at his own wording that he could see might have been misinterpreted in a much more horrific way. Considering how embarrassing the truth was, maybe he should have stuck with that story but getting that horrified look off of Tommy’s face was his current priority. “She had to perform a tracheotomy to save my life after I choked on a piece of bread on our first official date.”
Or, the one in which Buck and Tommy cross yet another first off of the list and learn even more about each other in the process
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“And this is the part where you lean in and kiss her,” Buck said after clearing his throat, giving Eddie a grin that he hoped hid his own ridiculous disappointment of not being the her in question. You’d think he’d have learned his lesson about not falling for straight guys after his third heartbreak over the same damn thing but nope, he was still the hopeless idiot that he’d been since the day he was born.
Eddie frowned, leaning back in his own seat. “Her?”
“I couldn’t help but notice how hesitant you’ve been about getting back onto the dating scene despite saying that you’re ready,” Buck said, going for nonchalant and likely missing it by the mile. “I figured a little boost in confidence and a crash course in how to pull off a perfect first date wouldn’t hurt.”
Or, the one in which Buck assumes Eddie sucks at dating and decides to do something about it
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"I'm not in love with you, Buck," Eddie said bluntly and Buck knew that, he did but it still stung to hear it said aloud. "But," he added, "I think I could be, if I let myself. Will you let me try, Buck?"
“Yes,” Buck found himself saying, ignoring all of the alarm bells blaring in the rational part of his mind. His heart was taking the lead on this one and he just hoped for the sake of everyone involved that it hadn’t just signed its own death warrant. “We can try.”
*
After Eddie fails to ‘perform’ with Marisol following Buck’s love confession, it leaves him questioning everything he thought he knew about himself. And when his journey of self discovery inevitably leads him to Buck, they’re left with an impossible choice-stick with the safe and familiar status quo or risk it all.
After all, there are no guarantees when it comes to love, and the consequences for Buck’s heart - and their friendship - if Eddie’s feelings never grow to match his would be dire. It's a risk Buck shouldn't be willing to take. But taking a chance on Eddie has never led him astray before and all he can do is put his heart on the line one more time and hope for the best, consequences be damned.
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“You know what are my favorite rom-coms?” Eddie asked, a rhetorical question because Buck knew he devoured them all, the cheesier the better. If Eddie had a favorite, he certainly didn’t know about it. “The ones where the pining protagonist who doesn’t think they stand a chance finally gets with their best friend who they've been in love with forever. Those have always been my favorites, lately more than ever. Do I really need to spell it out for you why?”
Buck scoffed, hoping that his heartbreak at the implication behind Eddie’s words wasn’t too visible on his face. Though with the way he felt like he was stabbed right through his heart, he knew instantly that was impossible. “Great, so now she’s your new best friend too?”
Or, the one in which Eddie is fake dating a woman and Buck really needs to brush up on his rom-com tropes