BadlyButteredBread
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maestoso by novalotypo
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
23 Jan 2020
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Summary
Edward Elric is about eleven when he stands up, makes an extended effort to knock as many books off the old bastard’s shelves as he can, and says, “Fuck the military. Al, you interested in music at all?”
Everybody's got their own ideas of retirement.
The Elrics don't even do retirement, what with the world trying to blow itself up every other month, but this shit has got to take the fucking cake.
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50 ways to lose an arm and a leg, by Edward Elric by Kastaborous
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
09 Jun 2022
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Summary
It was rather unusual for a twelve-year-old to have two full-replacement automail limbs. Edward typically tried to cover every inch of skin and metal to avoid the questions, but unfortunately, it couldn’t always be helped. When asked the question, “How’d you lose your limbs?”, the usual story was that Ed had lost them in the Eastern Conflict.
But what if he decided to take a more… interesting approach? After all, if Al wears the armor as a hobby, why can’t Ed have lost his arm against a bear?
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Or, Fullmetal Alchemist where everything is the same but Ed comes up with increasingly more insane ways for him to be short a few body parts.
Series
- Part 1 of to lose an arm and a leg
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Trust Me, I'm an Alchemist by metisket
Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
18 May 2020
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Summary
In which Yuri Plisetsky began life with the name Edward Elric, and this has made the world of figure skating a significantly stranger and more alarming place.
“Are you saying you lived a life of crime before you began skating?”
“I’m gonna have to check the statute of limitations on a couple things and get back to you on that.” -
snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
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How to Solve a Murder and Incite a Rebellion by Kastaborous
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
01 Jan 2025
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Summary
In unearthing the Nomu Factory, the Heroes and police of Japan discovered a body. This was not unexpected, but the nationality and uniform of the corpse in question… that was. Because this failed Nomu wore the uniform of Amestris, a war torn nation from the isolated continent of Atossa, where Quirks and modern electronics had never developed and never worked.
Edward Elric hoped he could retire from military service in peace, traveling Amestris while his brother Alphonse went to Xing. This is put on hold when now-Führer Mustang asks him to travel to the Outside, to the world beyond that was barricaded for centuries after the development of something called ‘Quirks’. A soldier has been killed and Amestris needs to know more about the Outside.
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Or, Edward Elric and Amestris meet the greater world of Heroes and Villains. It remains to be seen who’s more traumatized by the encounter.
Series
- Part 1 of Of Heroes, Villains & Alchemists