Apathygrrl



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  1. Public Bookmark 24

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    Following his return to a life of piracy, Stede is desperate to get back to Ed - so much so, he's willing to use magic offered by a dodgy man in a fetching outfit. The spell whisks him back to the Revenge, but things are odd - not least, everyone seems to want to pet him.

    Can he get back with Ed when he's an adorable corgi, or will Ed use the crew's new companion as a means to finally get them to mutiny?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,393
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    970

    01 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Stede draws his attention back to the head massage, alternating pressure from the kind of bruising that’s enough to knead a migraine away, to gentle, delicate strokes through his hair. He grows almost meditative with it, forcing his eyes away from Ed’s face and simply enjoying the feeling of body heat and cool, damp-silk hair against his palms. Truthfully, he could do this for hours, rather than the usual three-to-five minutes that’s usually afforded to customers when they…

    When…

    It’s been longer than three-to-five minutes.

    A quick glance at the clock reveals it’s been far, far longer than three-to-five minutes.

    Stede doesn’t mind, obviously. And Ed doesn’t seem to be about to question it. But the snide little Lucius-like voice in the back of his mind points out that almost twenty fucking minutes is maybe a bit of an overkill.

    Stede yanks his hands away from Ed’s hair like it’s covered in bleach.

    “Okey-doke!” Stede manages, voice shrill and a little strangled.

    From across the salon, the real Lucius snorts.

    (OR: Stede's a hair stylist. Ed shows up for an appointment. And shows up. And shows up. And shows up...)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,256
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    2,166
    Kudos:
    1,162
    Bookmarks:
    343
    Hits:
    22,391

    30 Jul 2024

  3. Public Bookmark 12

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    “The right words are hard,” Ed agrees, nodding as he swings his arms by his side awkwardly. “Big fan of action instead.”

    “Exactly!” Jim exclaims. “You get it!” They blink a few times as they look at Ed, clearly surprised to have this moment of connection. They clear their throat and look at Stede. “So, I was thinking about how to thank you, and I discussed it with Oluwande and Archie, and we agreed that it’d be nice if I fucked you with one of my dildos.”

    Stede stares at them, sure he’s misheard. “What?” he croaks.

    Stede has brought back a letter about the Siete Gallos from the cursed ship instead of the suit, and Jim wants to show him their appreciation for his growth as a captain.

    By fucking him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    853

    14 Jan 2024

  4. Public Bookmark 10

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    I don't know why I wrote this. I don't expect anyone to read it except for the person who wrote the original fic. This is a fanfic of another fanfic where Stede is kidnapped and brainwashed into being a sex slave and then Ed happens upon him. This universe has been living rent free in my mind since I read it and I had a few ideas for other scenes that could happen. This is canon compliant (canon to the fic) up until the second last chapter and then diverges from there. You really need to have read the other fic to understand this so I'm really narrowing my readership pool here but never mind. These scenes wouldn't leave my mind alone and I'm gonna make it AO3's problem

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,082
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,070

    17 Nov 2023

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Ed gets stuck behind the same slow driver for a long stretch of his road trip through the Pacific Northwest, that's one thing. When he finds himself at the same rest stop as the offending driver, it's quite another.

    This Stede guy is a bit of a lunatic. But when Ed crosses paths with him again several days later, this time stranded on the side of the highway and in need of some assistance, Ed winds up on a slightly different road trip than the one he'd planned to take—with a man he absolutely doesn't plan to fall in love with.

    Clearly, plans change.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    352,593
    Chapters:
    43/43
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,007
    Kudos:
    3,183
    Bookmarks:
    732
    Hits:
    163,787

    13 Jun 2023