1 - 20 of 27 Works by AggressiveWhenStartled
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Mission Impossible by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
24 Feb 2023
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The thing of it is, when everything goes to shit Bucky isn’t even trying.
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SHOCKING! Spiderman's Alien Baby: Friendly Neighborhood Hero and His Hanukkah Blessing by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
17 Dec 2022
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“Happy Hanukkah,” Ned said. Peter could hear him typing, presumably pulling up classified medical documents from Mr. Stark’s system about the Diplomatic Space Incident the previous night. “You got…eight days of quarantine.”
“Aunt May is going to kill me,” Peter moaned.
“She’ll have time to calm down,” Ned said, trying to sound helpful. “You really got, like, two weeks. But eight days sounded funnier.”
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New Roach by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
02 May 2022
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“This is a new horse,” Jaskier says uncertainly.
“Hm,” Geralt grunts, which Jaskier probably should have expected.
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Blind Date by AggressiveWhenStartled, quietnight
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types
21 Dec 2021
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“I just had the best idea I have ever had in my life,” Bucky said, punching straight through a doombot with his metal hand and clutching the napkin with Steve’s phone number in the other. The formerly (somewhat) dark and peaceful corner of Central Park was now lit up with energy beams, flashing robotic lights, and panicked astronomy buffs running for cover. Oh well, it wasn't like they'd been going to see many stars what with all the Christmas shit everywhere.
“The bar you are setting for that is not high,” Natasha told him over the coms.
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My Big Fat Wolf Wedding by AggressiveWhenStartled, galwednesday, quietnight, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
08 May 2021
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“MARRIED?”
“Basically married. Permanently engaged anyway. Weres have their own deal.” Natasha sounds much, much too gleeful about Steve’s rapidly expanding personal hell. “So you better wake your blushing bride and tell him the happy news: that it was an accident and you had no idea what you were doing.”
“I,” Steve says, strangled. “I can’t do that!”
“You can’t?”
“He thought I was proposing! And he accepted!”
“Wow, maybe he’s just as dumb as you are,” Natasha says thoughtfully.
“I can’t just promise him a ring, take him home, drink from him three times in a row and then wake him up the next morning to say oops, just kidding!” Steve casts around, looking at his wreck of an apartment. “I don’t even have any good champagne!”
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Bucky Barnes and the Embarrassment of Spidermen by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
13 Dec 2020
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“Peter,” Steve said into the table. “Please tell me you didn’t bring home someone from Tony’s alternate dimension.”
“Of course I didn’t,” Peter said, looking indignant. “I wouldn’t do that. I brought him to your place.”
Series
- Part 2 of The Old Codgers Greatest Hits Album
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Steve Rogers Ruins Christmas: a Thanksgiving Miracle by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
05 Dec 2020
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“I know I spent a while frozen in the arctic,” Steve said as he slowly reshut the driver’s side door and stepped back to take in the view. “So I guess I haven’t had a chance to see everything here in the future. But I was not expecting a Bavarian-themed Taco Bell with the KFC guy standing out front wearing lederhosen.”
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Drive It Like You Stole It: A Bodyswap by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
12 Jul 2019
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Steve had gone fully red-faced with pedantic altar-boy fury. “Did your computer forget how to Google translate?” he bellowed, sticking his head up and over. Bucky yanked him down again. “What are you even trying to say?”
Bucky tried to shake the sparkles off the grenade he had been planning on lobbing over the divider. “It sounded like Latin to me,” he said reasonably, pursing his lips and frowning at the explosive. It dripped a sparkle, and a puff of purple smoke curled up where it hit the concrete.
“That’s because you spent Sunday school flirting with Sarah Cunningham,” Steve accused, bobbing back up to throw his shield and ducking back down to dodge a shining ball of blue light. “You wouldn’t know Latin if it came up and kissed you on your ugly mug.”
“I’d sure know it if Sarah Cunningham did, though.” Bucky grinned, struck by the memory. “That gal really knew what she was doing.”
Series
- Part 1 of The Old Codgers Greatest Hits Album
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Make It Till You Fake It by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
13 Feb 2019
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“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”
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Bucky Barnes Is Five Eleven, and Other Lies He Tells Supervillains by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Captain America (Comics)
08 Aug 2018
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Sam Wilson trudged back into the house, dripping with sweat, stumbling out of his running shoes and stripping his shirt off as he went. He made it to the kitchen and pulled a carton of orange juice out of the fridge, got the cap off, and almost wore it instead when Bucky Fucking Barnes smacked him upside the back of the head.
“Use a glass, the rest of us gotta drink that,” Barnes complained, sliding a tumbler across the counter at him. “I don’t want your germs.”
Sam looked Barnes in the eye, raised the OJ, and took a healthy swig.
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Bucky Barnes' Guide to Ill-Advised Home Renovation by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
05 Aug 2018
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“Okay,” Barnes said, hiding behind an overturned breakfast bar with a rifle half full of what Tony Stark called ‘rubber bullets, but like, for elephants.’ “So you’re mad.”
Sam almost risked exposing his head just to give that the look it deserved, but he decided that if Barnes didn’t know already what a dumbass fuckup he was, Sam wasn’t going to be able to shut his trap with anything less than high dose tranquilizers.
Across a bigger open floor plan than they had previously enjoyed at the tower, Steve Rogers lowered his gargantuan green head and roared.
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Close Quarters Animal Husbandry by AggressiveWhenStartled, skellerbvvt
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
30 Jul 2018
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“So,” Sam said.
“I’m not afraid of trains,” Steve said preemptively. “Bad things happen to me everywhere, if I was afraid every time something reminded me I’d be a nervous wreck just going out to get groceries.”
Sam stopped next to the dining car and gave Steve a long, considering look. “I was gonna ask if we should get coffee, but yeah, let’s talk about this.”
Steve ducked his head to avoid eye contact. “Bucky’s the one who fell off, and he picked the train. Go intuit feelings about him,” he muttered, pretending to search for their tickets.
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Life of the Party by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
25 Feb 2018
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“You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.
“I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.
“You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”
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Closed Book by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
07 Oct 2017
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Bucky woke up with a headache, a mouth that tasted like something had died in it, and hands-down, swear-to-god, the most beautiful man he had ever seen asleep in his lap.
Bucky was also, he realized after a moment, strapped down to a hospital bed with about six different monitors making unsynced, equally piercing, beeps. Beyond that he couldn’t quite see—there was a hideous floral curtain pulled around the bed, and while he could just make out figures moving in the room beyond it, the pattern made his head pound even worse the longer he looked at it.
So. That was concerning.
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Open Book by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
03 Aug 2017
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“If you jump out of this plane without a parachute one more time, I don’t know what I'm gonna do, but you will not like it.” Bucky yanked, hard, on one of the straps holding the parachute on—Steve gave a soft grunt of complaint. Bucky shot him a look and jerked it harder.
This work has been discontinued and has been completely rewritten as Closed Book. This is not a sequel, prequel, or otherwise related. Read Closed Book with the confidence it will conclude, but this is an older version of it and will not.
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Super Soldier Drug Reactions and Other Engineering Failures by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
23 Dec 2015
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Beside Natasha, Steve’s phone buzzed facedown on the table. After the last text, he’d hastily flipped the screen over and stared straight ahead like he’d been caught talking in church.
Clint nudged him with his elbow. “Better check that,” he murmured. “Could be important.”
Everyone at the table pretended they weren’t looking as Steve hesitantly turned his phone over, blushed so hard his ears looked like they’d been boiled, and slapped it back down again.
Series
- Part 4 of Workplace Hazards
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Bucky Barnes Fucks His Boss, And Other Challenges Of Command by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Captain America (Movies)
28 Nov 2015
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“Okay,” That Idiot Parker acknowledged, hands together at his mouth like he was about to start praying. “So I take full responsibility for this situation.”
“Oh,” Bucky snarled, “great.” His wrist plates clicked up and down as he shifted his grip on the damn rifle, now smeared in grit, blood, and dog spit. Dog spit. The headache pounding at his temples blossomed into a full explosion right behind his eyes. “Don’t worry,” he assured Peter, blinking back the pain, “I already blamed you way before this point.”
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- Part 3 of Workplace Hazards
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Steve Rogers' Perfect Ass and Other Workplace Dangers by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
31 Aug 2015
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Bucky Barnes was a violent, jealous asshole and they were all going to die and was that idiot Peter still filming.
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- Part 2 of Workplace Hazards
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Steve Rogers' Dad Face and Other Common Hazards by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
11 Apr 2015
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Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy.
Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity.
While a bunch of assholes with cameras and microphones shouted at him about Iron Man’s adolescent dick.
Series
- Part 1 of Workplace Hazards
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Torn Stitches by AggressiveWhenStartled
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
13 Oct 2013
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The trick to being with Sherlock Holmes, John mused, was to always keep in mind that he wouldn’t actually murder you and wear your skin as a suit.
“I can see the appeal,” Sherlock was murmuring to him over the peeled body, much to the horror of any yarders in earshot. “I often find it surprisingly difficult to get inside your head. It might be cathartic to do in a more literal sense.”
John snorted. “With your curls? Our killer didn’t even clean this poor bugger out properly, just pulled him on gore and all. You’d be picking bits of me out of your hair for weeks afterwards.”
Series
- Part 2 of Arguing and Corpses