When Universes Collide: The MCU meets the Umbrella Academy
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La-la-la-la Ulysses: A Post-Apocalyptic Odyssey by RightSaidFredAstaire
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
27 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Nietzsche once said, 'Man is as a rope stretched between the animal and the superhuman. A rope over an abyss. It is a dangerous crossing. A dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting.'
As much as you must strive for individual greatness — and strive you must, for it won't come to you of its own accord — you must also remember that there is no individual stronger than the collective. The ties that bind you together make you stronger than you are alone. They will make you impervious to the pain and hardship the world will thrust upon you. And believe me when I tell you life will be hard. It will be painful."
- Sir Reginald Hargreeves, S1.E1 We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals
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What if Klaus woke up fashionably late for the post-Apocalypse? A tale of romance, survival, and saving the universe.
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It'll take about five years for the team to regroup, during which I explore what's happening on Earth as well as the afterlife, plus five more years to escape their collective fate.
Chapters 13-16 added December 14, 19, 23, & 27th ☺️
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The Chaotic Revengers by RightSaidFredAstaire
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV), Loki (TV 2021), Marvel, Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
30 Oct 2024
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Summary
Rather than returning to his family and figuring out how to avert the Apocalypse, Five stumbles onto the eastern shores of a people lost to the ages. More precisely, four harvests have passed since he fell through the headman’s roof. It happens on Samhain Eve and, when the heavens tear, he appears to the tribe as a strangely dressed elderman — youth restored — struggling to get free of a desolate land. The thinning of the veil is brief but deafening. Welcomed among the Picts as Flett, by the time Five is honoured as a Wolfwalker, he’s instrumental to the community’s survival.
A prickling chill overtakes Five as salty air floods his senses. I hear seabirds. His pulse quickens, intensifying the bulging beat in his addled grey matter. He opens his eyes and jolts upright, only to be blinded by the light.
Fuck.
He’s on a ship. A Viking ship.
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Also known as Five flees his post-apocalyptic hellscape before the Commission finds him but he still can't acorn. Angst ensues. Deus ex machina saves the day. Vengeance is had. A family remains.
References to mistreatment aren't explicit but chapters 9 and 11 are written from a couple of assholes' perspectives.
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Loki's Institute for Snarky Delinquents by RightSaidFredAstaire
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV), Loki (TV 2021), Marvel, Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
26 Mar 2025
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Summary
"The physics of numerous quanta tells us we cannot be certain about anything, especially if time is concerned. Even if you knew everything there is to know about right now, you could never predict what will happen next. We don't live in a universe of rules, we live in a universe of chances. Some events, however, are more likely than others."
- Sir Reginald Hargreeves, 1962
Not accounting for a dashing prince of chaos, Five returns the day of Dad's funeral with a saga to share and a few new family members. Klaus might drop dead with happiness. Meanwhile, the Norns show Variant L.1130 he isn't meant to cause pain and suffering or death — he's there to help a gaggle of delinquent orphans achieve their best selves all while unravelling Project Oblivion.
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Loki, Prince of Asgard, Friggason, rightful heir of Jotunheim, and God of Mischief. Soon to be known in this not-so-cinematic universe as Loki, House of Loki, Faerie Godmother.
References to mistreatment aren't graphic and chapters 4, 8, & 16 are explicitly sexual yet consensual.
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Dance While You Still Can by RightSaidFredAstaire
Fandoms: Loki (TV 2021), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
09 Jun 2025
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Summary
What if Five revealed his feelings to a benevolent god (dual perspectives).
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Taking a deceptively delicate hand in his, Five peers into the still waters of his Saviour.
"Words are insufficient to express how much I care for you... would you let me show you instead?”
A flicker of seiðr later Loki swims the depths of Five's devotion, surfacing to the feathery touch of parched lips on his fingertips. The warrior had faithfully given himself, heart and soul, to the God of Chaos.
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References to mistreatment are neither explicit nor long.
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The Mewling Quim by RightSaidFredAstaire
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV), Norse Religion & Lore, Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
04 Jan 2026
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Summary
Life within these walls feels like a wet dream come true. Five gulps. His pelvic floor pulsed, brimming with unspent energy. Or as if everything’s meant to be. He bites his lower lip, melting into the bed yet harder than any stone as a breeze tickles his scruffy neck. He slowly gives in to the mind-altering experience. Rolling his hips, thrusting, spreading. Losing himself little by little to their momentum.
It’s absolutely exhilarating.
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What if the Metaphysics Department solved the problem of Number Five Hargreeves? Also known as Jarl Harald Gets His Wish or: Flett Learns to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Apocalypse.
Inspired by the Multiverse of Madness, Midsommar, and the original Sleeping Beauty. The tale includes some vaginal operatics, traditional as well as original myths, and a touch of scientific panache. I've also pulled references from all four seasons of Umbrella Academy.
Updated 4 November with 6K words, most recently updated 4 January with 5K words. I've flushed out the 'ever after' portion. 700 words added in February.
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