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  1. *

    Plugged by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    26 May 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    Unofficial full title: "Plugged (Or, How Peter Learned to Stop Worrying and Get It On)"

    ~*~*~

    "So let me get this straight," Deadpool says slowly. "Your Spidey powers are tweaking, and the only solution you've found is... jerking off?"

    Peter flushes hot. "That about sums it up, yeah."

    Deadpool's mask does something complicated. "And this is a problem how?"

    "Well, it's not like I can do anything in public," Peter points out, hunching his shoulders in embarrassment. "And it's not really sustainable to, uh, do it that much. As I've learned."

    Deadpool hums and looks out over the city. "I... may have some ideas."

    ~*~*~

    Thanks to his powers going haywire, Peter can't focus unless he's getting off. Wade volunteers as tribute.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,094
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    5,581
    Bookmarks:
    830
    Hits:
    64,788

  2. *

    your taste and your smoking gun by Anonymous

    Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)  

    13 Oct 2024

    Tags
    Summary

    “Like, when you….” Peter swallows. “…when you masturbate. How do you do it?”

    “Have you never jerked off before?”

    He’s definitely bright red. “I have! I’m just not, uh, good at it.”

    “You never come?”

    peter can't get off. wade helps with that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,949
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    1,332
    Bookmarks:
    186
    Hits:
    17,111

  3. *

    Show You Mine, Show Me Yours by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    06 Jun 2024

    Tags
    Summary

    "Wanna see it?"

    Peter’s head snaps up. "... You'd let me look?"

    "Don't see why not. What've I got to lose? My dignity?"
    -

    Or, the phallo fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,593
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    1,519
    Bookmarks:
    201
    Hits:
    11,874

  4. *

    Beggars riding ugly ponies by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    07 Aug 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Deadpool and Spider-Man encounter a powerful magical being in the New York night. It goes about as well as you'd expect:

    “Make your wish,” she orders again, and her voice echoes with a thousand other voices.
    “Any wish within those rules?” Deadpool asks the woman, sounding interested. “I wish Spidey were in love with me!”
    Spider-Man turns to him sharply. “What? What kind of a stupid—“
    “That way, you’d be a lot nicer to me,” Deadpool interrupts defensively.
    The woman nods once.
    “So it shall be,” she says.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,729
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    608
    Kudos:
    1,212
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    15,824

  5. *

    cracked halves by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    23 Jun 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    "So… what is this?" Deadpool asks faux-brightly, even though he looks like he might lose it.

    Peter takes a deep breath, willing his voice not to crack. "It's, um. Hot water with salt and oregano so I can trick myself into thinking it's soup."

    (It starts with food. As with most things regarding Deadpool, it hardly ends there.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    8,537
    Bookmarks:
    1,334
    Hits:
    51,122

  6. *

    The Hips Don't Lie (Except When They Do) by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    09 May 2021

    Tags
    Summary

    Shit, Peter thinks, over and over again. Shit shit shit shit shit shit… Stop. You should stop. You should really stop, Parker.
    Don’t wanna, thinks the rest of him, happily.
    This wasn’t supposed to get this far. This was never supposed to get this far.
    Don’t care, thinks the rest of him, still happily.
    And, as Wade’s fingers find their way inside his waistband and trace teasingly along the edge of it, Peter is forced to admit that “Don’t care” is in fact a very convincing argument.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    3,085
    Bookmarks:
    549
    Hits:
    38,471

  7. *

    this heart needs (something) by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool (2016), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types  

    17 Jan 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    ‘Okay, come on, you have to think about this rationally,’ Peter thinks to himself and it’s not that he can’t reason his reaction out, it’s not that he can’t listen to his own advice, it’s that he doesn’t want to.

    Peter gets hit by sex pollen. Deadpool helps out. That should be the end of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,584
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    5,107
    Bookmarks:
    731
    Hits:
    52,348

  8. *

    Glory Hole of Treasures by

    Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types  

    08 Apr 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    “…like two kittens, curled up in a pillow case…”
    “What? Did you say something to me or are you talking to the boxes again?”
    “I was just saying, you ass is delightful, like two- wait, don’t swing off! You know it takes me ages to catch up to you, your legs are so much longer than mine, all the better to hold up that pert, beautiful- Spidey!!”

    Deadpool's an annoying reoccurrence in Peter's life. Peter is sexually frustrated, and can’t go a week without having wet dreams. He decides to go out on a limb and do something risky in order to get his rocks off.
    Deadpool has to ruin that, too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,582
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    425
    Kudos:
    3,597
    Bookmarks:
    588
    Hits:
    54,633

  9. *

    I Was on Fire for You by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool (Movieverse)  

    19 Dec 2023

    Tags
    Summary

    “Hey- hey baby boy, chill out,” Wade says, like he’s calming a bucking horse, and Peter does not need to hear that nickname right now, oh god. “We’ve already been here like an hour, what’s the rush?”

    “It’s- ” Peter struggles to come up with an excuse for the sudden change in his demeanor that isn’t ‘your strangely hot scary killer voice and your sexy death scent and the thought of your rock-hard dick and your knee grazing my cock and your stupid choice of nickname sent me into my weird xenobiological hormone-induced pseudo-heat that turns me into a desperate raging cockslut.’

    *******

    Or: Peter and Wade get stuck together with Peter's webs in the middle of a fight and Peter goes into his spidery mutation pseudo-heat. Extremely spicy, moderately angsty, ridiculously stupid, and incredibly sweet~~

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,977
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    178
    Kudos:
    5,516
    Bookmarks:
    925
    Hits:
    68,110

  10. *

    The Promised Land by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    29 Sep 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    Ugly, lonely, and depressed, Wade Wilson has all but resigned himself to a life of solitude. But when a glory hole place called The Promised Land (the "Home of the Holy") opens up, Wade discovers a way he might be able to find some intimacy without traumatizing anyone with the sight of his skin. Enter Peter, the sassy, sweet sex worker who has a perfect ass and an even better sense of humor. They might (might!) be even better than Spidey's.

    ~*~*~

    Yes. This is 100% the glory hole + identity porn love story no one asked for. It's a smutty, angsty, fluffy, funny rollercoaster. Please read the tags!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,827
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    284
    Kudos:
    4,043
    Bookmarks:
    931
    Hits:
    35,138

  11. *

    nerve induction by

    Fandoms: Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    21 Jan 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter and Wade have a very brief body-swap that leaves Peter reeling with what he felt in Wade's body - and what Wade clearly felt in his. Peter decides it's time someone took Wade's pain seriously. What use is being a scientist if you can't help your violent mercenary bro?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,063
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    2,264
    Bookmarks:
    326
    Hits:
    13,564

  12. *

    I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by

    Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Deadpool (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)  

    26 Dec 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new.
    [[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]]
    [Don’t make an ass of yourself.]
    “Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point...

    OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,088
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    27
    Comments:
    1,956
    Kudos:
    31,920
    Bookmarks:
    6,587
    Hits:
    546,438

  13. *

    Finite State by

    Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    04 Mar 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    “Hiya, Peter,” Deadpool is standing there in all his red and black glory, sounding deceptively cheerful. All too cheerful, in fact, for a gun resting against one muscular thigh and a hand reaching back to, no doubt, grab a katana. “Peter Parker,” Deadpool continues, saying his name like he wants to bite into it. It’s actually kind of hot. God. Focus, Peter. Is Deadpool seriously going to try to kill him now?

    All too late, Peter realizes that Spider-Man never responded to Deadpool’s messages.

    --

    When he's blackmailed by, of all people, a weird work acquaintance who needs Spider-Man gone for obviously illegal purposes, Peter is forced to hang up the suit- at least temporarily -until he can resolve the situation. Unfortunately, things start to get sticky when Deadpool, who Spider-Man's been on-again off-again with (okay, yeah, lowkey messing around with), crashes into Peter's life and demands the photographer help him figure out what's got his favorite webhead so spooked.

    Peter's life is really weird.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,240
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    725
    Kudos:
    11,240
    Bookmarks:
    2,366
    Hits:
    141,934

  14. *

    this side of paradise by

    Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types  

    13 May 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    a sex pollen fuck buddy fic.

    For the record: the whole thing is Peter’s fault.

    They’re sitting on a rooftop, nearing the end of patrol, when Peter decides to jab Fate right in the eye and flip her the bird for good measure.

    "—and I was sure it was about to be a sex pollen disaster, but thankfully," Wade says, knocking on his temple for good luck, "just some classic, springtime eau d'jizz from those pear tree things."

    “There is no such thing as sex pollen,” Peter snorts derisively.

    Wade points accusingly at him.

    “Now you’ve done it! You’ve Invoked the Trope! We’re doomed by the narrative now!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,359
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    1,147
    Bookmarks:
    192
    Hits:
    12,115

  15. *

    The pursuit of Deku by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    11 Mar 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    The vigilante Deku’s rise in popularity is nothing but bad news for the local heroes. His capture has become priority number one. And the reward for whoever brings him in? A rank rise on the hero charts. The only problem? The guy is a literal fuckin ghost.

    That is until Katsuki accidentally stumbles upon him on his day off. Chaos and feelings ensue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,095
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    2,201
    Bookmarks:
    366
    Hits:
    14,899

  16. *

    Liquid Nitrogen by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    02 Sep 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    Enji can't figure out why the hell Hawks keeps sleeping in his office.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,723
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    268
    Kudos:
    7,042
    Bookmarks:
    1,838
    Hits:
    79,875

  17. *

    Surprise Party by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    27 Oct 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s been exactly one month and four days since Hero Deku touched him, and Katsuki is finally at the end of his rope.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,133
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    2,518
    Bookmarks:
    527
    Hits:
    35,102

  18. *

    answer the question by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    09 Nov 2020

    Tags
    Summary

    Not only did some fucking jackass suggest Truth or Dare, but goddamn Kaminari looks over at the newest addition to the class and says, “Oh, shit, Shinso, we could use your quirk too, right?”

    “Huh?” say about six people at once in ragged chorus.

    “Yeah!” Kaminari says. “Didn’t you say you’d figured out how to make people talk while you Brainwash them? You could totally do that.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,219
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    3,523
    Bookmarks:
    652
    Hits:
    40,196

  19. *

    Drowning Desire by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    26 Apr 2021

    Tags
    Summary

    Katsuki works at a rehabilitation center for mythical marine animals. One of their newer arrivals is a green eel mer, one he has taken to calling Deku because of how he tried to swim through the glass wall of his tank when they first got him. Katsuki's just checking up on his injuries, making sure they are healing alright and that Deku isn't straining himself too hard when the eel decides he's taken a liking to him and wishes to breed him with his clutch. After some convincing from the mer, Katsuki decides why not?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,402
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    2,081
    Bookmarks:
    271
    Hits:
    33,830

  20. 63

    Not Him by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia  

    09 May 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    When Endeavor has a quirk accident, Hawks is more than willing to help him through it.
    He could die without help, so why is he pushing Hawks away?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,562
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    452
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    6,085

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