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I think at one time...I believed I-we could have been truly happy. The thought of us falling in love long enough to start a family. Living long enough to grow old together. But I know that was fatuous. We both knew that. My heart was bound in steel! Set and thoroughly ready for when you left me. It was nothing; surely something I could handle. Except, nothing could have prepared me for this. You are the one I love.
How foolish for me of all people to fathom a life of simple happiness. But, I still work towards it. In your honour. I can hear your teasing now. Peace may not happen because of us, however, we were part if it. We are the sacrificed joy in our aspiration for peace.
If only my heart did not crack against my ribs anymore when you cross my mind. If only the visions of you, the all too real whispers would just leave me alone. No one knows how you torment me. How painful is was to feel your life slip. The texture of clammy cold now gives me horrible flashbacks. No one but you and I know exactly why.
I miss you. You were always the boisterous laugh I could never, myself, muster. You lit a searing passion that still blazes within me today. And I will die fighting for our dream. It is my happiness now. The closest thing I have to you know is our dream.
You will find this odd but, being near water makes me feel like you’re really around. Twisted, ne? I know my time is running out. My own end is coming soon. The less I see of the physical world around me the more visible you seem to be. Is is absurd now to hope that after...we can be happy together? Would you mind taking me back?
One time happiness was in our reach. I know it. The swords we lived by too the from us. Now, I am waiting for it to give us another chance. Rest assure; I am not rushing towards death. I am just no longer afraid of it as I used to be. Most of that fear dissipated once I knew you’d be waiting for me. You’re there cheering me on still. Believing still in us and out will. The next generation...they can do it. So just wait a little longer for me. We will be happy. We will.