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Stacker and Herc were his superior officers, and Yancy had tremendous respect for them both, but they also shared a frankly terrifying sense of humor that Yancy had no hope of understanding, and they had fucked with him before… still, there had been a definite strain in Herc’s voice when he’d summoned the younger Ranger, and he was almost running through the Shatterdome halls in his haste to get to Newt Geiszler’s “secret lab.” That damned guy might be a genius whose crucial intel had helped secure their victory, but he was a perpetual pain in the ass and seemed to have an unmatched ability for fucking things up. The fact that he kept involving Raleigh, Mako, and Chuck in his shenanigans was probably his most egregious crime.
All that to say, Yancy was completely un-fucking-prepared for the sight that greeted him once he arrived at his destination. Hermann was pacing in the background, as he was wont to do whenever Newt was involved, and Newt himself was cowering away from the intimidating duo before him. Pretty standard fare, really, but what was not standard, what was completely outside of Yancy’s well-regarded ability to adapt to new and terrifying situations, was the addition of three tiny children to this tableau. Children dressed in the same clothes his fellow Rangers, his little brother, had been wearing at breakfast this morning. Or, the same shirts at least, now overflowing across tiny shoulders and sleeves dangling absurdly over tiny arms and pants and boots and socks puddled across the room…
“What,” he croaked, feeling like all the air had been punched out of his chest. He knew that face, those blond curls, but it made no sense, nothing was making any sense. How-
“Becket,” Herc spared him a glance, before turning his attention back to Newt. “Geiszler was just explaining to us to why he thought it was acceptable to operate an unknown artifact without approval, without clearance, and without any kind of respect for bloody safety protocols!”
“He made us little!” the red-headed child exclaimed, sounding so honestly affronted that there could be no doubt as to his identity, even altered as he was. Herc bent down and scooped the tyke up into his arms, and once Chuck had settled against his chest he wasted no time in turning his glower on the scientist in question.
“Not on purpose,” the blond one piped up, with a shrug that sent the collar of his blue sweater drooping off one small shoulder. Raleigh. Jesus Christ, Raleigh. Yancy felt like his skin was crawling, his feet frozen to the floor where he stood.
“It was an accident,” the girl agreed, looking up at Stacker and tugging on his shirt sleeve when he didn’t immediately acknowledge her contribution. Stacker’s expression softened immediately, and he dropped down to one knee to be on eye level with her.
“An accident that could have been prevented,” Stacker said gently, and then lifted his gaze to Newt, his tone much less gentle as he continued, “With proper care.”
“Look, yes, this was unexpected, but physically, they’re fine. And, the results are fascinating. Marshal, sir, we ran some tests-“ Newt was bouncing on his heels as he wound up, not as cowed as he’d initially appeared, and Raleigh was peering at Yancy curiously from beside Herc, waiting, or maybe expectant, and Yancy had heard enough.
“You ran tests before consulting us?” he demanded, and even Stacker and Herc seemed taken aback by his tone, by the rough timbre of his voice, or maybe by the glean in his eye. Newt certainly seemed to be re-evaluating his assessment of the most dangerous element in the room, and he sidled a bit closer to Stacker.
“Nothing invasive! Just, questions, about their experience. Listen, Raleigh here-“ and now Newt was reaching for Raleigh, who seemed pretty nonplussed about the whole situation, a little bored even, but Yancy found himself able to move again and he crossed the distance between them in three great strides.
“Don’t!” he shoved Newt back, putting himself between the scientist and his little brother. He could barely stand to look at Raleigh right now, the sight of him, so small and vulnerable was making him feel panicked, but no one was going to lay a goddamn hand on him, certainly not the madman behind this whole disaster.
“Oi, Becket,” Herc shifted Chuck so that the boy was positioned securely on one hip, freeing up his hand to clap Yancy’s shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. “Let’s find out what we’re dealing with here, yeah? Let the doc speak. You can strangle him later.” Herc’s voice was low and calm, and Yancy sucked in a deep breath. This wasn’t like him. He was the easy going one, always able to roll with the punches, except that wasn’t quite true. He’d never been able to keep his cool when Raleigh was in trouble, and this… what was Yancy supposed to do with this? How could he fix this?
He realized a second later that the first step was obvious – confront the problem. In this case, he had to pluck up and face the small child at his feet, who was starting to look uneasy for the first time since Yancy had entered the room. Turning his back to Newt, trusting Herc and Stacker to take the good doctor in hand, Yancy crouched down and met those familiar blue eyes.
“Hey Rals,” he said softly. “Do you know who I am?”
Raleigh hesitated, twisting the extra fabric of his sleeves in his hands before nodding.
“You’re Yancy,” he said confidently, and then he pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side, just slightly. “But… bigger.”
Yancy laughed, surprising himself, and then Raleigh smiled back at him, showing the gap between his front teeth. Yancy reached out and tugged his brother into his arms, and Raleigh, who’d been so cuddly at that age, tucked against his chest happily. He was a warm bundle of oversized sweater and unruly curls, and Yancy held him close until it felt like his heart rate was approaching something like normal.
“Are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, running his palms across Raleigh’s shoulders and down his arms, as if checking for breaks or bruises.
“No,” Raleigh shook his head, and then offered, “but my feet are a tiny bit cold.”
Yancy looked down at his bare feet, toes scrunched up against the concrete floor, and was aghast at his lack of awareness.
“God, Raleigh,” he murmured as he took the boy into his arms, and from the way Raleigh cuddled close, pushing his face into the curve of Yancy’s throat, well the little guy probably wasn’t feeling as casual as he’d been acting. Putting on a tough front, since his brother, the one who was supposed to take care of him, hadn’t even wanted to look at him. Yancy swallowed hard. He needed to do better, starting with figuring out what the fuck was going on.
He turned back to the others, gratified to see that Herc and Stacker were looking as poleaxed as he felt. He let his gaze shift to Newt, who was making no bones about the fact that he was hiding behind Hermann.
“Geiszler?” Yancy said, drawing the attention of all in the room. “Explain, and make it quick.”
“Okay, yes! I was testing this compound, not an artifact, I mean, I suppose you could say it-“
“Newton,” Hermann interrupted, sensing a rising level of impatience typically associated with impending violence.
“Right, right, I can explain that later. For now, all you need to know is that while these kids were, well, turned back into kids, this isn’t a permanent change, though I can’t entirely predict yet how long it will last. Now, you might have noticed that they are not as confused or frightened as a normal bunch of five year olds might be in these circumstances. Based on my tests, er, questions, I think we can deduce that they have retained some version of declarative memory, though I haven’t been able to establish the extent of their episodic recall.” Newt’s hands fluttered as he rushed to explain the essentials.
“That explains why Mako can speak English, and that she recognizes us,” Stacker nodded.
“Exactly! But obviously whatever recall they do retain is being filtered through a child’s understanding. I’ll need to conduct more in depth evaluations and analysis to determine the full effects. The potential for study here is quite amazing.”
“That’s the least of your concern, Geiszler. I want to know how long this is going to last,” Herc grumbled.
“They’re not in any pain, I can assure you. And they’re kinda cute like this,” Newt chuckled, then sobered when he caught the round of glares from around the room. “Days? Weeks? Probably not more than weeks. I can run some tests, do some modeling, and get you a firmer timeline.”
“Start there,” Stacker ordered. “Gottlieb, you help him. And Geiszler? There will be no more unsanctioned experiments in these labs, are we clear?”
“Crystal, sir,” Newt nodded.
“Alright then, lads,” Stacker turned to Herc and Yancy, and then seemed to falter. He looked down at Mako, who was holding onto the index finger of his left hand and waiting patiently. “Let’s, uh, get the children somewhere… else.”
Somewhere else turned into a trip to medical, because no one was quite prepared to take Newt’s reassurances that the kids were fine, if one conveniently forgot about the fairly significant age regression aspect. Stacker had called ahead, and as requested Dr. Kapoor had cleared the place of all non-essential personnel, but as her eyes widened when the troupe came through the doors, Stacker had clearly been stingy on the details.
“That fucking Geiszler,” she murmured, before snapping instructions to her equally dumfounded staff. As one might expect from an experienced Shatterdome clinic crew, they rallied instantly and with minimum fuss extracted the children from their anxious guardians and had them piled up on a hospital bed and giggling as stethoscopes and shining lights were wielded with exacting precision. If anything, the staff seemed to enjoy the enthusiasm their little patients were demonstrating. Even Marcus, a skilled if reserved nurse the approximate size of a mountain who had once threatened to twist Chuck into a pretzel, had no problem cajoling the kids into going along with the exam.
“Ooh, that’s cold!” Chuck exclaimed as Marcus slipped the stethoscope under his now oversized t-shirt.
“Sorry about that, tyke,” Marcus chuckled, “but I need this to hear your heartbeat.”
“Can I hear, too?” Chuck asked immediately, and Yancy could practically see Herc melting as the little guy’s eyes grew wide as saucers when Marcus slipped the earpieces into place. “Wow! It’s loud. Dad, daddy, listen-“ Chuck made grabby hands at the older ranger, who didn’t hesitate to slide in close.
Daddy? Jesus Christ. What if Raleigh started asking for their dad, or mom? It was a small comfort to realize that Raleigh was in fact cheerfully interrogating his nurse about how a stethoscope listened, and how did a heart even make sounds, and Yancy tried not to shake apart as he watched the medical staff do their work.
After the exam, the nurses coaxed the children to a quiet corner to allow Dr. Kapoor to deal with the stressed command staff, though Yancy could see Raleigh watching him, eyes still blinking owlishly from the penlight a nurse had flashed at him. But Raleigh was fine, so Yancy turned to follow Kapoor as she hustled the men into her office, and collapsed behind her desk with a loud sigh. Even without kaiju, these damn fools conspired to keep her staff on their toes.
“Physically, as far as we can tell, they’re fine. Geiszler was right, they have retained some form of declarative memory – they clearly understand where they are, but it’s impossible to tell how much of that is episodic and how much is semantic. We could run some scans, but honestly at this juncture I would caution against that. Those tests can be alarming for adults, and I don’t want to add any additional stress, especially if this… condition will only persist for days, or weeks.” Kapoor paused here to let that information sink in, all the while carefully cataloguing the responses of her anxious audience.
“Should we be concerned? About the trauma…” Stacker cleared his throat, glancing briefly at Herc before turning his gaze back to the doctor. He’d become well versed in child psychology, particularly around emotional trauma and grief, after bringing Mako into his life. “If they remember enough to recognize the Shatterdome, what about the things they’ve experienced in combat… how could a child process that?”
“Right, and Chuck hasn’t asked after his mum yet, but… do you think he remembers that?” Herc winced, and clasped his hands between his knees as he leaned in towards Kapoor’s desk. Kapoor didn’t answer straight away, she nodded thoughtfully and glanced out the office windows, watching three rapt little faces as Marcus showed them a card trick. Another nurse was handing out snacks, plates filled with crackers and cheese and apple slices.
“I’m afraid we don’t have those answers right now. But, look at them-“ She gestured at the scene just beyond the door. “Children are remarkably resilient, and they seem to be coping well. Of course we should monitor them, engage with them, but at this point we will just have to take it day by day. Traumatic memories may emerge suddenly, and we will deal with that if it happens. For now-“ Kapoor shrugged. “We treat them like any other five year old. Carla’s twins are around their age, and she’s offered to bring in some clothes and toys, books, things that the children will need. I would suggest giving them a room together, they seem to draw comfort from sharing their current experience. Mealtimes, bedtimes, might go better as a unit. Of course, they should also be allowed to bond with their primary caregivers, but sharing the responsibilities in this way will also give each of you a chance for… downtime, as this progresses.”
“Yes, that’s a very wise suggestion.” Stacker murmured, and Yancy didn’t miss the fact that he was recognizably the one at the forefront of everyone’s mind when it came to needing “downtime” from the current situation, but his mind was stuck on the idea of primary caregiver… he was Raleigh’s primary caregiver.
It shouldn’t have thrown him so much, he’d always looked after Raleigh, but they’d always been partners, for lack of a better term. Yancy had never really had to parent Raleigh, despite how it might have felt after their mom’s death, their father’s departure, because they’d both had to grow up way too fast, both relied on each other. Every time life had thrown something new and terrible at him, Raleigh had been right there with him, with a bad joke, or an elbow to the ribs, and a promise that they’d get through it together. But his Raleigh was gone, and for the first time in his life Yancy felt truly alone.
“Right then,” Herc nodded. “There’s an empty couple berth’s next to my bunk, has a double bed. Let’s set them up in there for now. Dr. Kapoor, if you could have Carla bring the… toys and such there?”
“Of course, Ranger Hansen.” Kapoor said. “And, may I say, good luck.”
* * *
As much as their lives often seemed like excerpts from a sci-fi movie, Yancy could never have predicted this particular turn of events. And even if he had contemplated the possibility of sudden age regression by way of a mad scientist, he would never in a million years have pictured this.
Stacker seemed immune to the madness, sitting at the desk with a tablet, studying up on nutrition tables for five year olds no doubt, occasionally looking up with an indulgent smile at the scene before him.
The scene being Herc Hansen with a bed sheet draped over his head, an empty paper towel roll in hand, trying to fend off a giggling pair of knights, determined to rescue their princess, Chuck, who was being guarded by the evil wizard’s dragon, Max. Cuddled up on the bed with Max, Chuck didn’t seem particularly concerned with being rescued, though he was clearly wildly entertained by the hijinks around him. Max had been thrilled by the introduction to his new friends, and showed his pleasure by the occasional doggy kiss. Chuck’s hair was mussed from dog spit, and he squealed when Max once again licked at his ear.
“Mako, Raleigh, save me!” he cried, and Herc guffawed at the way his son mangled Raleigh’s name. Between the accent and Chuck’s difficult pronouncing the R, it came out sounding more like Wahwee. Momentarily distracted by the cuteness, Herc wasn’t able to recover in time to stop Mako from darting around his knees and launching herself onto the mattress next to Chuck.
“Don’t worry Chuck!” she scrambled up to throw her arms around the boy’s neck, squealing when Max turned his attention on her. “No, bad dragon!” she said, though the way she reached to scratch Max’s jowls probably sent mixed messages to the poor dog.
Sensing defeat, Herc reached down and swept Raleigh up in his arms. “Oh no, Max, the knights have stormed the castle!” he said, before dropping Raleigh down onto the bed next to his compatriots.
Yancy was saved from having to… intervene, join in?, by a knock at the door. Grateful for the reprieve, he hurried to the door before Stacker or Herc could move.
“Ah, Carla,” Yancy smiled, but his relief at the interruption was somewhat diminished by the sheer amount of bags she was carrying. Would they really need all that?
“Ranger Becket,” Carla nodded, thrusting some of the packages toward him. He fumbled them a bit as he backed into the room, standing aside so the poor woman could haul in the rest of her cargo.
“Oi, Carla, you’re a lifesaver.” Herc called, ambling over to investigate once it seemed like the kids were happy enough to cuddle on the bed with Max. Stacker joined them, too, stacking the clothes and toys and books and puzzles into piles, and noting each on an inventory he’d opened on his tablet.
“Sorry, the girls are going through a bit of a princess phase right now,” Carla muttered as she pulled out a handful of footie pajamas in varying shades of pink and purple and the occasional set in blue and greens.
“S’alright, we just need to make do. I’m sure the boys won’t mind.” Herc said. “Just having stuff in the right size is a relief. Yance, why don’t you help me get the ankle biters into these pajamas? That way we don’t have to worry about cold feet on these floors.”
It wasn’t a dig, Yancy knew Herc didn’t mean it that way, but he couldn’t help but tense up at the reminder of Raleigh’s earlier complaint. He tried to shake it off, tried not to look like he’d rather go up against a category four rather than try and deal with something as simple as pajamas, but based on the steady hand Herc placed on his shoulder… probably didn’t work as well as intended.
“Oi, sprogs,” Herc called, and three attentive faces swiveled to him in almost creepy unison. “Come and pick out which jimjams you want to wear.”
“It’s too early for pajamas,” Chuck pouted, and Mako seemed inclined to agree from the way she narrowed her eyes in clear displeasure, leaning back into Chuck as if to prepare for another, more serious battle, and Yancy winced because Raleigh had always hated bedtime, and maybe it was three kids against three adults, but it certainly wasn’t going to be a fair fight. And then, as if determined to keep Yancy totally wrong-footed, Raleigh clambered down off the bed and grabbed a pink and purple pair, dotted with green mermaids.
“I want these ones,” he announced, smiling shyly when Herc gave him a pleased nod.
“Excellent choice, sprog!” Herc said, and not giving Raleigh a chance to reconsider, he pulled the oversized blue sweater over the top of the kid’s head without hesitation. Raleigh giggled as Herc helped him step into the pajamas and zipped him up, standing quietly when Herc smoothed a hand across his now staticky curls.
Obviously influenced by Raleigh’s decision, Mako was edging closer to the pajamas in question, but Chuck was still stubbornly positioned behind Max.
“Chuck, we need pajamas if we’re gonna make a blanket fort,” Raleigh said, and Chuck’s face scrunched up adorably as he considered this new information. Herc gave Raleigh a high five, and then sent him on his way as Mako stepped up with her selection, a blue pair with an old school robot design on the front. Raleigh ambled back over to the bed, where Chuck was still debating his options. “Come on, Chuck,” the other boy wheedled.
“Okay, Raleigh,” Chuck nodded, and then grabbed onto Raleigh’s shoulder for balance as he launched himself off the bed, almost face planting in the process, and then proceeding to run headlong into Herc’s waiting arms. Raleigh watched him for a moment, and then turned to Yancy, shifting a little as he waited for Yancy to… what? Say something? Pick him up? Yancy had always known, instinctively, what Raleigh needed, signaled by the slope of his shoulders, or the arch of his brows, but this tiny person in footie pajamas was a mystery to him.
“That was good, right?” Raleigh prompted, and it was like being shoved into a cold shower, the sudden awareness that Raleigh was on his best behavior for Yancy, as though he felt the need to impress him, or- Yancy shut down that line of thought, it was too painful to consider, and instead he reached out and scuffed a hand through soft curls.
“Yeah, Rals,” he smiled. “You’re being awesome. A blanket fort is a great idea.”
Raleigh beamed under the praise, and Yancy felt like the world’s biggest heel. He was better than this, damnit. Luckily he was saved from further introspection when Chuck barreled into the back of his legs, almost knocking him on his ass. “Woah, Chuck!”
“Sorry!” Chuck yelped, or rather, a lisped combination of vowels and consonants and came out closer to “sowee.” Damn, that was cute. “Raleigh! Blanket fort, now.”
“Yes!” Raleigh lit up, and with barely a glance in his brother’s direction hared off to the bed where Mako was already making a pile of pillows and bed linens. The kids rebuffed any offers of assistance, and with the use of a chair as a structural support, had fashioned a respectable fort/tent situation in mere minutes. They piled in with pillows stuffed under their arms, and shrieking with glee when Max lumbered in behind them, and then settled into whispers and giggles as the three adults collapsed onto the creaky couch on the opposite side of the room.
“Jesus,” Herc wiped his brow, eyes wide like he’d just stumbled off a battlefield. “It’s only been five hours.”
“Gentlemen, we need a game plan,” Stacker said. He pulled out his tablet and brought up what seemed to be a very detailed, and color coded, spreadsheet. “According to the Breezy Mama blog, we would be well served to follow the strategies outlined in the book Raising Your Spirited Child. Routines are key, as well as making sure the children have plenty of opportunity for engaged play. Potential areas for high conflict, as I’m sure we can all recall, are mealtimes and bedtimes. I’ve sent a weekly meal plan to the cafeteria, and a runner will be delivering a variety of acceptable snacks and drinks for us to have on hand outside of that. I’ve cross-referenced Raleigh and Chuck’s files to cover any allergies or food sensitivities.”
“Wow, you’re… organized,” Yancy murmured, his relief at Stacker’s relentless competence at war with how ill-equipped he felt to play a role in this scenario. Did he remember mealtimes and bedtimes being high conflict? He could remember the sounds of little feet in the upstairs hallway, Jazmine and Raleigh running back and forth between the bathroom and their bedrooms, clamoring for attention and clutching various books and toys in damp hands, but he’d been running around with them, his parents-or, was it him, or Raleigh? After so many years of drifting, things like shared childhood experiences became hazy, and it could be hard to differentiate between his own memories and Raleigh’s.
“We need to present a united front,” Stacker continued, “They will easily detect any weakness.”
“They, the kids?” Yancy met Stacker’s sever gaze and immediately glanced over to Herc, surely the guy who’d been wearing a bed sheet earlier would see how ridiculous Stacker sounded right now, but instead the older ginger was nodding gravely.
“Don’t be fooled, mate. Those ankle biters will turn on you in a hot second.”
“He’s right, Ranger, in fact – wait,” Stacker held up his hand, gaze turning suddenly to the blanket fort. “I don’t hear any giggling.”
“Ah, Christ,” Herc pushed himself to his feet and shuffled over, the other two men right behind him. Yancy realized that it had become very quiet in the room – had the kids somehow gotten out the door without them noticing? He hovered, maybe a bit anxiously, as Herc pulled back the sheet that covered the blanket fort’s entrance, and then immediately let out a whoosh of air.
It was a veritable puppy pile, with Max snoring gently in the corner and a three tiny bodies snuggled close, limbs askew, and chests rising with deep, even breaths. Raleigh was in the middle, fingers twitching slightly where they rested on his belly and his other arm somewhere under Chuck’s shoulders. Mako’s face was half obscured from the way she was pressed close to Raleigh’s neck, each exhale making the curls around his ears flutter.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that the afternoon’s events were even more exhausting and overwhelming for those tiny bodies, and the three man backed up quietly so as not to disturb their rest.
“Well,” Stacker murmured, his eyes suspiciously glassy. “Perhaps there’s no cause for alarm just yet.”
* * *
Based on Stacker’s schedule, and Herc’s apparent PTSD from Chuck’s toddler years, the decision was made to wake the kids for dinner around six. They were groggy and a little cranky, but tired enough to be mostly pliable. They didn’t try and take the kids to the mess hall, instead a runner from the kitchen brought a meal of mostly finger foods, fortified by some kind of smoothie, no doubt engineered to pack a nutritious punch. The kids didn’t seem to mind, and no one even really put up a fuss when the superhero themed toothbrushes came out. They lined up in the bathroom while Herc monitored their progress, and then washed their faces with practiced ease. Chuck looked hilariously affronted, wild red hair sticking up in every direction by the time his turn was done.
Raleigh balked at the edge bed, even though Chuck and Mako are already burrowed under the covers, and he hadn’t previously shown an interest in being separated from his compatriots. Herc was pulling out some books, obviously intending to handle the bedtime routine aspect once all the kids were settled, so Yancy crouched down next to Raleigh, who was staring at his feet.
“What’s wrong, kiddo? It’s time for bed.” Yancy rubbed his shoulder gently.
“Am I gonna sleep here?” Raleigh asked quietly, and he looked up at Yancy through the fringe of his lashes.
“That’s right, Rals. With Chuck and Mako, just like in the blanket fort.” Yancy said, hoping that Raleigh wasn’t going to pitch a fit about the sleeping arrangements. It was safer to keep them contained, after all.
“But,” Raleigh looked down again, and Yancy tried not to let his impatience show. Herc was hovering behind him, though he didn’t seem to mind the interruption. “Where will you sleep?”
“I’ll be in my room, just across the hall. Herc will be on the couch, and he can come get me if you need me, and Max will be here, too.” Yancy explained. While the kids had been napping, he and Stacker and Herc had divvied up the responsibilities for the coming days and Herc had offered to take the first night shift. Yancy hadn’t been about to argue, and he wasn’t changing his mind, but damn, Raleigh’s little face and big blue eyes were not making it easy.
“Raleigh,” Chuck huffed, “Come on! It’s story time, you hafta get into bed.” The little redhead made grabby hands at Raleigh, who finally relented and started to clamber up on the bed. Yancy grabbed him around the waist and waited until Mako and Chuck shifted to make room between them before depositing his little brother onto the mattress.
“It’s okay, Rals,” Yancy said, tugging the blankets back up around the trio. And maybe Raleigh didn’t look entirely convinced, but once Herc swept in with the tale of the curious bunnies he was well distracted, giggling and settling back into the pillows. Yancy wasn’t a monster, though, he waited until those big blue eyes drooped, and fluttered, and then closed, before he snuck out the door.
Hours later, lying in his own bed, right across the hall as promised, Yancy stared up at the ceiling with tired, aching eyes, but still sleep eluded him. He wondered if this is how Raleigh felt every night, grappling with his insomnia, exhausted but tormented by thoughts he couldn’t shut down. No way to ask him now, and that realization was like a punch to the gut. Yancy couldn’t remember a time when Raleigh hadn’t been within reach, even throughout the rocky recuperation after Knifehead, after Pitfall, they’d been together. Terrified, shaken to the core, snarling at each other more often than not, but together.
But now? Raleigh, his Raleigh, was gone, maybe forever, and Yance felt like his chest had been cracked open, something essential scooped out, with only raw nerves, splintered bones and an aching emptiness left behind.
Sleep was a long time coming.
* * *
“Gotta admit, mate, I’m a little surprised by how, uh, behaved Raleigh’s acting,” Herc said as he ladled servings of scrambled egg onto their respective plates. Yancy didn’t bother mentioning that he could serve himself; Herc at least seemed to enjoying the return to a more paternal duty.
“Yeah, it’s weird,” Yancy acknowledged, glancing over at the kid in question. Raleigh was swinging his legs, gnawing happily on a piece of apple Stacker had cut up for him. Sure, the kid was damned cute, always had been, but at any age Raleigh was a sarcastic little brat who lived to stir shit up. This little Stepford routine was not normal, but it was a bit of a relief not to have to worry about what kind of mischief he was getting into, or getting the others into. Maybe it was the benefit of having grown up with siblings, but Raleigh was definitely shaping up to the leader of his little trio, always coming up with games or ideas, making sure to include Chuck and Mako at every turn.
And yet, as they had discovered at six am, even three well behaved five year olds were a goddamn handful. After the chaos of getting everyone washed and dressed that morning, they’d herded the kids toward the mess hall, hoping a change in scenery might help to divert some of the energy that a night’s rest had provided. They weren’t even being bad, just… very loud, and exuberant, and keeping them in that small room one second longer had seemed like a really terrible idea. Worse even than the prospect of the trouble they were sure to get into, let loose in the Shatterdome.
Mostly people were avoiding their table, either out of respect or fear they might drop a decade or two next, but a little thing like mad science had never stopped the Kaidonovsky’s, and Yancy wasn’t really surprised when they sidled up with their breakfast trays, barely concealed glee on their faces.
“Oh,” Chuck exclaimed as Aleksis dropped onto the bench next to him. “So big!”
“Hello Chuck,” Aleksis said, smiling ruefully when Chuck grabbed his big hand with his syrup sticky fingers.
“Chuck, oi, sprog, come on, eat your brekkie and leave Mr. Kaidovnosky alone,” Herc frowned and reached over to grab at Chuck’s sticky hands.
“Ha, is okay, Hansen. Little Chuck is just curious, yes?” Aleksis laughed, a booming sound that had every head in the near vicinity turning in their direction. More specifically, Raleigh’s head turned, his lips pursed as he considered Aleksis’s words, and apparently it was all the encouragement he needed to revert to form. He turned to Sasha, and tugged on her sleeve.
“Yes, baby Becket?” she asked sweetly.
“I like your, um, your…” Raleigh hesitated here, and gestured at his own mouth. “The red.”
“Ah, yes. My lipstick.” Sasha grinned, and ducked down so that she was closer to eye level. “Is good colour, red.”
“Yeah. It makes you look fancy,” Raleigh nodded.
“Thank you. Is important to look good.” Sasha reached down to smooth his bangs back from his forehead, clearly besotted.
“Maybe Herc could borrow your lipstick,” Raleigh suggested, and Yancy almost choked on his toast as Sasha and Aleksis burst into laughter, and even Stacker chuckled.
“Ya think so, sprog?” Herc grinned, reaching over to bop Raleigh on the nose. Raleigh allowed it, and then smirked as he started in on his waffles.
“He has spirit, this one,” Aleksis proclaimed, setting his coffee mug down as though it were a tankard of beer, and everyone seemed to agree.
Still, Yancy felt uncomfortable. Had that been rude? Herc was taking on so much when it came to the kids, he didn’t want the man to get pissed off. He knew something like that wouldn’t have flown with their own dad, Richard would have been embarrassed by Raleigh’s cheek, speaking like that to a man of authority. He should probably say something, god knows Raleigh would take a mile when given an inch, and it was cute now, but…
Yancy waited until everyone had eaten their fill. Sasha and Aleksis immediately offered to help Stacker return the trays of dirty dishes and scraps, and when Herc was busy trying to pin Chuck down with a wet wipe, Yancy crouched down in front of Raleigh.
“Raleigh, I know you were just joking, but don’t be rude to Mr. Hansen, okay?” he said quietly as he tried to clean the stickiness of Raleigh’s cheeks and hands. Raleigh scowled, and turned his face away stubbornly, obviously stung by the mild censure.
“Fine,” he grumbled, tugging his hands free as soon as Yancy allowed it and scrambling under the table to join Mako and Chuck on the opposite bench, sending a pointed glare back at his brother once he was settled.
Yancy was distracted from his feelings of complete failure when a familiar bow-tie adorned coffee addict came to a stop beside him.
“I heard rumors, but,” Tendo shook his head as he surveyed the rag-tag bunch. “Brother, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?”
“Oh, no, I didn’t do anything to deserve this,” Yancy said firmly.
“Ah, right. The Geiszler factor,” Tendo nodded, “I haven’t seen him around, did they kill him?”
“If he has any sense at all he won’t leave his lab until this is over. Officially, he’s trying to give us a timeline, figure out how long this is going to last.” Yancy shrugged.
“If he had any sense at all, we probably wouldn’t be looking at this right now,” Tendo pointed out.
“Thanks, man. That’s really fucking encouraging,” Yancy snapped, because maybe he was thinking the same thing, but he sure as hell didn’t want to hear it. Tendo frowned, and turned to look at his friend.
“Why don’t you come by later? We never did finish running those diagnostics, and I could use your input.”
“Yeah, shit, I forgot all about the tests.” Yancy latched onto the reminder like it was a life preserver in the open ocean. Something not kid related? His actual job, in fact? Yes fucking please.
“Good,” Tendo nodded, and lifted his mug to his lips, making a face when he realized that it was in fact still empty. “I gotta-“ he gestured toward the industrial sized coffee carafe, and Yancy had to strongly resist the urge to grab onto his arm, “please don’t leave me with them” was on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it down, and gave his best attempt at a smile as he waved.
And, in the end, the rest of the morning went by without a hitch. After a rousing game of red light, green light, the kids had been happy enough to settle on the floor of Stacker’s meeting room with their colouring books and markers, quietly discussing their artwork whilst Stacker and Herc caught up on paperwork. Both men seemed pleased when Yancy announced his intention to rejoin the diagnostics team in LOCCENT, and Yancy didn’t waste any time making his escape.
“Fuck, Tendo, help,” Yancy moaned, all but collapsing into a chair across from his friend mere minutes later. He hadn’t quite broken into a run, but it had been a near thing.
“They’re pretty cute,” Tendo said, and he slouched back in his chair, secure in the knowledge that Stacker was on the other side of the Shatterdome. Despite the pretense under which Yancy had come, Tendo didn’t bother opening the diagnostics program. He could tell that Yancy would be next to useless at analyzing any data at the moment, and what his friend really needed was to vent. Never let it be said that Tendo didn’t know his Becket boys.
“That is so not the point, man.” Yancy ran his hands over his face. “It’s so fucked up.” It had only been three days, but it felt like weeks.
“The Marshal and Herc seem to be enjoying it,” Tendo mused. “They’re smiling a lot. It’s kinda terrifying.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s the worst part! It’s like they almost want this to be permanent.” Yancy said, possibly with too much aggression from the way Tendo turned to him, hands held up.
“Easy, Yance.” He said, “I mean… would that be so bad? Getting a do-over? A chance to grow up with security, love, most importantly, sans Kaiju?”
“Raleigh had all those things! Mostly,” Yancy huffed. “I mean, he was already fifteen when Trespasser hit, sixteen when shit came apart in the house.”
“Yeah, but Yance, that’s still young, he was still a kid.” Tendo said quietly. “Look, Newt said this isn’t permanent, and I believe him. After this morning I may have stopped by his lab, and trust me, he is busting ass trying to figure this out. But in the meantime it might be nice to just let the kid be a kid, you know?”
Tendo wasn’t wrong, but there was a knot in his throat that would not settle. Yancy had always wanted the best for Raleigh, had always wished he could do something to take the shadows from his little brother’s eyes, pluck the nightmares from his head, so why wasn’t he happy? Why didn’t he like seeing this Raleigh, so carefree and sweet?
“I miss him,” Yancy mumbled finally, and he was embarrassed when his voice cracked at the end.
“Yeah,” Tendo said, reaching over to clap Yancy on the shoulder. “Me too.”
So it was a bit of a relief to get back to kid headquarters and find Herc and Stacker looking fairly harassed and definitely exasperated. Yancy couldn’t help but laugh when he realized the source of their irritation.
“Mako’s really good at drawing!” Raleigh announced, holding out his arms for Yancy’s inspection.
“I see that,” Yancy grinned, examining the colourful patterns Mako was apparently responsible for. Mako beamed under the praise, though her enthusiasm seemed a bit dimmed by Stacker’s frown. Dimmed, but not entirely extinguished. Yancy turned to the two men, one eyebrow raised in challenge. “Two hours with you guys and they’ve already got tattoos.” He shook his head in mock disapproval. Herc at least had the grace to appear sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Carla assures us the…. designs will come off in the bath,” Stacker said, obviously struggling to maintain an expression of calm.
“I’m sure that’s the case,” Yancy allowed. “Well, uh, why don’t I take a shift?” he offered, very much aware that he’d been letting the other two men do most of the heavy lifting, and they accepted with such enthusiasm that they might as well have left a cartoon dust trail behind as they fled the scene. Yancy tried not to feel like he was suiting up for combat when he turned back to the trio of expectant faces.
“We’re gonna build something.” Chuck announced, shaking a piece of paper that was clutched in his fist. “I guess you can help,” he added, though he appeared doubtful. Mako seemed to share his reservations, he’d recognize the significance of that pursed mouth at any age.
“Yancy’s smart,” Raleigh piped up, and Yancy was a bit embarrassed by how gratified he was by the vote of confidence. “He can help.”
“I’m sure he is,” Mako said diplomatically, obviously trying to spare Raleigh’s feelings, not Yancy’s.
“Wow, this is going to be so fun,” Yancy sighed, and then hurriedly mustered an exaggerated smile when Chuck turned his gimlet gaze back to him.
“Fine. I made a plan, with ‘structions. Follow the ‘structions!” he handed over his sheets of paper and as Yancy examined the crayon scribbles he felt a headache start to brew as the scribbles coalesced into something truly terrifying.
“Are these…. Engineering schematics?” he demanded. They seemed to mostly utilize the train kit that Herc had procured somewhere earlier in the day, but this was definitely not the design that had come with the set. It involved… outside technology, for starters.
“Ugh, I knew this would happen.” Chuck mumbled, punching Raleigh in the arm. “Raleigh, tell your dumb brother not to mess up my plans.”
“He’s not dumb, Chuck!” Raleigh pouted and rubbed his arm vigorously, the little faker. No way that had actually hurt. One childhood memory that remained crystal clear was that of Raleigh falling out of their treehouse and then jumping to his feet immediately, yelling “Didn’t hurt!” as he laughed, the little maniac.
Still, probably best to dissuade Chuck’s usual violent tendencies.
“Chuck, no hitting,” Yancy said, deciding to ignore the dumb comment, at least for the sake of his sanity, and dignity. He was definitely not going to try and defend his intelligence to a five year old, certainly not this particular five year old. “Okay, we can definitely build this train system with a covered tunnel but you can forget about the trellis bridge, we will not be welding or using open flame of any kind.”
Mako and Chuck seemed suspiciously disappointed at that last part, but at least didn’t appear to be considering outright mutiny. Probably sensing that Yancy would need an ally to keep the group in line, Raleigh stepped up and patted Yancy’s leg reassuringly.
“Okay, Yance,” he said, and then stared at the other two until they nodded in agreement.
“Yay,” Yancy smirked. “This is going to be so fun.”
And in the end, it wasn’t actually terrible. Yancy got down on the floor with the rugrats and even Chuck warmed up to him after a while, seeking his opinion on stabilizers for the “mountain pass” and taking his suggestion on where to position the covered bridge. Yancy didn’t realize how long they’d been building and playing, and occasionally arguing, until Stacker and Herc came back into the room and started making noises about bath time, and before he knew it the tots were tucked in and another day had been survived. Raleigh had fussed a little when he’d realized that Yancy was leaving for the night, but Chuck and Mako had shut that down pretty quickly with some adorable cuddling.
Sadly, the goodwill didn’t last. The kids were cranky as hell at breakfast the next morning and both Herc and Stacker seemed at a loss for how to rein them back in.
“I said no,” Mako shrieked, knocking the apple juice box onto the floor. Stacker reared back, probably repeating some kind of child-rearing for over-achievers mantra in his head, before reaching down to pick up the discarded juice box.
Chuck was barely paying attention to the antics across the table, instead channeling his energy into sneaking sausage links to Max under the table. Herc knocked his fork against his plate, and Chuck laughed when he realized he’d been caught.
“Max is hungry!” he said cheekily.
“Max had his brekkie already, this one’s yours. Not one more bite goes under the table, yeah?” Herc said, but the rebuke was softened by his obvious amusement.
“Okayyyyyyy,” Chuck sighed, spearing a piece of sausage for himself and chewing with great exaggeration.
Meanwhile Raleigh was not even attempting to look like he was eating his breakfast. Playing with, sure, making a huge mess, definitely, but not a damned bite was going down the hatch.
“Rals, knock it off,” Yancy huffed, nudging the kid with his elbow. “Eat,” he said sternly. Raleigh scowled down at the table, and he obviously wasn’t interested in setting a good example for the others this morning. He’d been snippy all morning, and Yancy was started to lose patience with the attitude.
“I don’t wanna. I don’t like pancakes.” Raleigh pouted, slamming his fork down on the table.
“What?” Yancy laughed, glancing at him before cutting into his own sausage. “You love pancakes.”
“No, I don’t!” Raleigh yelled, and proceeded to knock his plate onto the floor with a sweep of his arm. Max descended onto the mess, licking up the syrup and mutilated pancake pieces before Yancy could move. Raleigh turned to glare at him, small cheeks flushed and blue eyes flashing, as if he were trying to goad Yancy into a reaction, and that was just fine, a reaction he would get.
“Raleigh,” he snapped, “What the hell?”
“You don’t know anything,” Raleigh retorted, squirming around until he could jump off the bench seat. Yancy hurried to stand in case the kid tried to make a runner.
“Hey, get your butt back in that seat,” Yancy said, hyper aware that every pair of eyes in the room had zeroed in on them. He could feel the flush building in his own face, Christ, why did Raleigh always have to make things so hard? It was just fucking pancakes, for crissakes.
“No,” Raleigh stomped his foot. “You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dad!”
“No shit, kid, but he ain’t here so-“ Yancy snarled, and then almost buckled as he realized… fuck, he couldn’t say that a kid. Sure enough, Raleigh’s mouth dropped open, he couldn’t have looked more shocked than if Yancy had taken a swing at him, and Yancy himself felt like he’d taken a boot to the gut. “Rals, kiddo, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-“
But Raleigh seemed to recover from his initial shock, and his tiny hands balled into fists, and he opened his mouth and damn near screamed the place down.
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” his face was beat read as he started to shake and Yancy felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, he didn’t even notice that Herc had rushed around to their side of the table until the man had scooped Raleigh up into his arms, murmuring quietly into the kid’s ear and miraculously Raleigh seemed to wind down, or at least stop screaming.
“Holy shit,” Yancy murmured, hands shaking as he reached up to squeeze his temples. Slowly he became aware of the conversation happening in front of him.
“Raleigh, I know you’re upset, but you need to apologize to Yancy, okay?” Herc said as he rubbed Raleigh’s back soothingly. Raleigh visibly balked, but at Herc’s encouraging nod, he huffed out a breath.
“Sorry,” he grumbled, not very convincingly, not that Yancy deserved an apology at all for that epic screw up.
“No, Rals, I’m sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t… “ be here an internal voice supplied, but there was no way he would let that slip and risk another meltdown. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not your dad, but I am your brother, and it’s my job to look after you, okay?”
Raleigh stared at him long and hard, and then shrugged. “Fine. Can I get down now, Mr. Herc?”
“You gonna finish your brekkie with no more drama?” Herc asked, and when Raleigh nodded he set the boy back down on the bench. “I’ll get him another plate,” Herc said, motioning for Yancy to return to his own seat.
Yancy’s appetite had all but evaporated and at the moment sitting next to a pile a kaiju shit seemed more appealing, but he had never run from his brother after a fight and he wasn’t about to start now.
“It’s okay, kid,” he said quietly, trying to project a confidence he didn’t feel. Raleigh didn’t look at him, but those little shoulders dropped a little bit. “We’re okay.” And that part was definitely a lie, Yancy felt so far from okay, but he knew Raleigh needed to hear it and that was all that mattered.
This really could not be over soon enough.
* * *
After the scene at breakfast it was only a matter of time before the dad brigade tracked him down for a post mortem analysis of his complete fuck up, but Yancy had hoped to avoid an audience. Before the plates had been cleared the Kaidonovskys had swooped in to take the kids on some kind of adventure, the details had been foggy at best and Yancy had all but climbed under the table to avoid the frankly terrifying looks the Russians had been shooting him as they coddled Raleigh. Sensing that he was still a little tender, Herc and Stacker had sent him on his way without a hint of rebuke, but he had hoped for more than an hour of mercy before they found in, once again whining to Tendo in LOCCENT.
“I did not see that coming,” Tendo admitted, sagging back into the office chair with a groan. Herc and Stacker shared a look at that was a hair too smug, considering the “tattoo” incident had occurred under their watch. “And I definitely did not expect Raleigh to be the trouble maker.”
“Ah, Mr. Choi, please refrain from using negative labels like that, especially within earshot of the children,” Stacker wagged a finger in Tendo’s direction. “By using language of that nature we’re creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If Raleigh believes that we expect him to misbehave, well, what incentive is there to act any differently? Children are very perceptive, especially gifted children, and they will be sensitive to the verbal cues of the adults around them.”
“Right, well, I’ll keep that in mind,” Tendo said awkwardly, sending a look of disbelief in Yancy’s direction once Stacker had turned his attention to other matters. Yancy just rolled his eyes. Stacker’s sudden tolerance for disobedience and backtalk was not even cracking the top five most annoying things about this whole fucked up situation. Though it did strain the mind, Yancy could tell that Tendo was thinking in particular of the time the marshal had threatened to dropkick Raleigh off the Anchorage helipad for making an off-handed comment about decontamination procedure.
“Ya handled it well, Becket. Didn’t lose your cool,” Herc said, circling back around to the point of their visit. “Sprogs didn’t sleep well last night. I think Raleigh had a nightmare, and the other two woke up as well. Took a while to settle them, and I think they were up again later.”
“A nightmare? You think its memories or something, coming through?” Yancy asked, and fuck, that was just what he needed. Something else to worry about in this mess.
“Kids have nightmares, mate, might not mean anything.” Herc shrugged.
“But we can’t discount the possibility. I’ll pay a visit to our scientists later, I was promised updates on the timeline. We should monitor the children carefully, just in case.” Stacker said thoughtfully. “Herc is right, Mr. Becket. I can share some literature with you, but I think you managed well enough. I didn’t… I apologize.”
“Yeah, Stacks and I were talking… we should have been more, uh, supportive, and the like. You’re not Raleigh’s dad, you’re his brother, yeah, but those two things are worlds apart. You’ve been doing a great job, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t imagine it’s been easy.” Herc said, and suddenly being on the receiving end of the man’s kind, paternal gaze made Yancy feel like he was going to be the next kid to have a goddamn tantrum. It was on the tip of his tongue to say “no shit,” but one Becket meltdown a day was probably enough already.
“It sucks,” Yancy said honestly, and didn’t offer anything else. He wasn’t really up for some kind of heart to heart anyway, and Herc and Stacker both seemed relieved to be let off the hook.
Things didn’t exactly get better as the day went on. Herc and Stacker were definitely stepping things up, taking more of a lead with the kids, especially on the disciplinary end of things, but Raleigh was listless and grouchy after lunch, and the other two weren’t unaffected by his mood. It was cute, how protective they were, hovering around Raleigh and trying to offer him toys and snacks, seemingly unoffended when he shrugged them off. Everyone, even the kids, seemed relieved when bedtime was announced and even Raleigh seemed to perk up a bit when Herc let him pick out which books to read at story time.
“Goodnight Rals,” Yancy murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to Raleigh’s forehead. Raleigh allowed it, but squirmed away when Yancy reached out to pat his shoulder, turning to hide his face against Chuck’s pillow.
“Good night, Mr. Yancy,” Mako said pointedly, rolling over to spoon up behind Raleigh, wrapping her arm around his waist. Chuck, not to be outdone, shifted enough to scowl at Yancy before pulling the blankets up over all their heads. It was as cool a dismissal as he had ever received.
The role reversal was obvious, and uncomfortable. Now Yancy was lingering, reluctant to leave, and hoping for, what, a sign that Raleigh was still with him, that they were still solid? Was this how Raleigh had felt, every night, watching Yancy sneak out?
Fuck. For once, Yancy hoped that he was over-analyzing the situation, going for a deeper meaning where there was just a cranky kid who wanted some sleep already.
With a sigh, and one last glance at the three lumps under the blankets, Yancy swore to himself that he wouldn’t fuck this up again. He’d do better tomorrow.
Tomorrow came faster than anticipated.
Despite the day’s turmoil, this time Yancy didn’t have a problem dropping off to sleep, so he definitely did not have his faculties about him when Stacker, dressed in pinstriped pajamas and matching slippers, burst into his room at two o’clock in the morning.
“Grandpa?” Yancy gasped, jackknifing up in bed as Stacker hollered his name. He woke up in time to register the horrified look on Stacker’s face, and felt his own flame in response, then awareness of the situation filtered in. Stacker, in his nightclothes, had just burst into his room – adrenaline dumped into Yancy’s system and he almost landed on his face in haste to climb out of bed. “What happened? Fuck, is Rals okay?”
But even as he fired questions at the harried man in front of him, he could hear it, and briefly stopped to wonder how the fuck he hadn’t woken up sooner.
Someone was crying, no, wailing, and it was a terrible, gutting sound.
Raleigh.
Yancy wouldn’t remember it later, but he shoved Stacker aside and broke into a flat out run, heedless of his bare feet on the cold, metal floor, and uncaring that he was dressed only in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. Getting to Raleigh, it was all that mattered. It took mere moments to close the distance, but he still felt like his heart was going to slam out of his chest by the time he crossed the threshold into the kids room.
The sound was almost deafening here, and the first thing he saw was Chuck and Mako, sitting up on the bed and looking terrified, before he clapped eyes on the source of all the misery, and then he could see nothing else.
Raleigh was sobbing, shrieking, his face tear soaked and splotchy, pushing and kicking even as Herc tried to console him, rocking him and murmuring to him.
“Give him to me,” Yancy demanded, striding forward, and as soon as Raleigh heard his voice he was reaching for Yancy. Herc was careful in the transition, making sure Yancy had a good hold before he backed away. He needn’t have worried, Raleigh’s arms and legs wound around Yancy like a trap, and he could clearly feel how that tiny chest heaved with each sobbing cry. “Fuck, he’s soaked,” Yancy muttered as he registered the damp curls and sweaty pajamas. “Okay, okay, I’m here, shhh Rals, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”
He held the trembling body close, murmuring reassurances and rocking him gently. It seemed to take hours, but finally Raleigh seemed to exhaust himself, clinging to Yancy desperately, and making low, wounded sounds.
“What the hell happened?” Yancy asked, once he felt assured that Raleigh wasn’t going to start up again. Stacker was sitting in the bed with Chuck and Mako, an arm around each of them, and they both looked upset, but thankfully not about to lose it.
“Nightmare again, I think,” Herc whispered, looking as wrecked as Yancy felt. “Bad one, poor little tyke.” His own t-shirt was damp from where he’d been cradling Raleigh before Yancy arrived, and as he plucked at it he nodded to the bathroom. “I know it’s late, but a quick wash will help. He definitely needs new pajamas, anyway.”
“Yeah, he’s starting to feel clammy,” Yancy sighed, rubbing his free hand up and down Raleigh’s spine.
“There’s extras of everything in the shelf in there. Do ya need a hand?” Herc offered, and Yancy could tell it was meant in earnest, but-
“No, I got it,” Yancy said, and Herc backed off easily.
The light in the bathroom was harsh, but it seemed pointless to worry about that when Raleigh was still shaking and whimpering in his arms. Yancy set him down on the bathmat long enough to start the bath and dump a cap full of the lavender soap into the mix.
“Okay kiddo, let’s get you out of this thing, yeah?” Yancy murmured as he unzipped the sleeper and started to tug it off. Raleigh’s eyes weren’t quite focused, heavy and still wet with tears, and while Yancy was relieved he didn’t fuss as he was undressed and put in the tub, the lack of response or movement was scaring the shit out of him. “You’ll feel better soon, buddy,” he promised, as he sluiced warm water over his arms and shoulders. Worried that Raleigh might just fall forward into the water, he braced a palm on his chest while he rubbed some of the suds into his curls, massaging the curve of his skull gently.
“Almost done,” he murmured as he rinsed off the bulk of the suds. “There, that feels better, right?” Yancy asked as he pulled the stopper from the drain and wrapped Raleigh up in a towel. He grabbed a second towel and started rubbing him down, wanting to do his best to get him dry and keep him warm, hyper aware of how the cool air felt on his own skin. He grabbed the first pair of underwear and sleeper from the shelf, barely noting the color or print, and when Raleigh was dressed again Yancy didn’t hesitate to draw him back into his arms.
Though dry and warm and smelling sweet and clean, Raleigh didn’t seem to be snapping out of it, not entirely. He was still trembling and whimpering, hitching little breaths shaking his shoulders as he clutched handfuls of Yancy’s t-shirt.
Stepping back out into the lower light of the room, Yancy didn’t stop rubbing Raleigh’s back, or make a move to put him back in bed, where Chuck and Mako were nestled back under the covers.
“He’s not settling, not really,” Yancy whispered when Herc and Stacker turned to him for an update. “I’m going to take him back to my room, see if I can get him to sleep there.”
“Call us if you need anything,” Stacker said, with a pat on the shoulder, and his grip firmed for just a moment. “And, don’t ever call me grandpa again.”
Yancy huffed out a laugh, and found he was grateful for the moment of levity, albeit a touch embarrassed at the reminder. “You got it, sir.”
By the time he’d made it back to his room with his precious cargo, Yancy was more than aware of his state of undress, shivering in the cool air, and he was more than eager to climb back under the blankets. He hoped a warm little nest would soothe the rest of Raleigh’s agitation, and piled the blankets over top of them both. Raleigh was still gripping his shirt, and rather than try and pry himself free, Yancy just lay back with Raleigh sprawled on his chest. Slowly, so slowly, the little body began to relax as Yancy murmured little comforts and rubbed circles on his back.
“It’s okay, kid, you can sleep. I’m here, nothing’s gonna touch you.” Yancy soothed. Every time it seemed like Raleigh was about to fall asleep he’d caught himself, limbs jerking and soft whimpers as he tried to rouse. He was clearly scared of falling back into another nightmare, and Yancy wondered if this was how Raleigh had spent the previous night, scared to sleep, but without anyone to comfort him. He tried to shut that thought away – his guilt wouldn’t change anything, and if he tensed up Raleigh was sure to pick up on it. Instead Yancy tried to focus on his breath, deep and slow inhales and exhales that Raleigh would feel against his own ribcage. Sure enough, when Yancy was starting to worry that he would pass out first from all the calm breathing, with a deep sigh Raleigh finally relaxed, and fell asleep.
* * *
Yancy was not best pleased when, for the second time in six hours, someone woke him up by breaking into his room. Feeling muzzy and a bit too warm, and ready to tell someone off, he struggled to sit up enough to see the door without disturbing the warm weight curled into his side. And yet when he saw the interlopers he found that he couldn’t summon one iota of annoyance.
“Shh,” he said quietly, holding a finger to his lips, and Mako and Chuck both nodded seriously before creeping up to the side of the bed. Yancy peeled the covers back just enough to expose the mop of blond curls for their inspection. “He’s okay,” he assured them.
“Sorry,” Herc whispered from the doorway. “They insisted on checking in.”
“Get us when he wakes up?” Mako asked, and seemed satisfied when Yancy nodded his assent. She patted the Raleigh-shaped lump in the blankets, and then darted back to the doorway. Chuck, however, lingered, and after a long searching look for Yancy, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Raleigh’s temple, before taking off, almost bouncing off his dad’s knees in his haste. Herc grinned, gave Yancy a lazy salute, and then closed the door.
Never one to pass up on more sleep, Yancy carefully squirmed his way back into the blankets, tugged Raleigh close, and settled in for as much shut-eye as the kid would allow.
Not much, as it turned out, as Yancy discovered an hour later when little fingers started poking between his ribs.
“Argh, whyyyyyyy,” he moaned, deliberately playing it up, and swatting gently at where he presumed Raleigh to be. As he’d hoped, he was rewarded by a small giggle. “Oomph!” he laughed as Raleigh flopped across his chest, “You’re heavy!”
“No, I’m small!” Raleigh insisted, nuzzling into the curve of Yancy’s neck. “Like a… bunny.”
“A bunny, huh?” Yancy said, words slightly distorted by a jaw cracking yawn. “Shouldn’t bunnies still be sleeping?”
“Noooo,” Raleigh shook his head, but didn’t try to climb out of the bed, or move away from Yancy at all. “Now is when bunnies go explorin’.”
“Ah, I see,” Yancy scratched his chin as he contemplated his next move. He definitely needed some coffee, and Raleigh needed to eat. Between the breakfast meltdown and his crankiness through the day yesterday, Yancy knew he hadn’t eaten as much as he should have, and after last night’s difficulties a hearty breakfast seemed even more important. A quick glance at his desk array showed that the mess hall would be serving warm dishes for another hour.
“But do you know what bunnies have to do before they go exploring?” Yancy said as he started to sit up and at least attempt to disentangle them both from the blanket nest.
“What?” Raleigh asked gamely, though Yancy couldn’t help but notice he still wasn’t letting go, even when they managed to get upright.
“Breakfast,” Yancy said, “No adventures without breakfast. It’s a rule.”
“Hmm. I guess so,” Raleigh said, but didn’t seem entirely convinced.
“Yup, definitely a rule.” Yancy swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and winced when his bare feet hit the floor. He’d somehow managed to kick his bedside rug over in mad dash out of bed last night, and he scrunched his toes against the cement. He turned his attention to the blue eyed barnacle attached to his front, who was looking around the room with just a hint of apprehension.
“How come I’m in your room?” Raleigh asked, and Yancy suddenly realized how confusing this must be for the kid. He probably, hopefully, didn’t remember much about his late night wake up, and the last thing he remembered was likely going to bed with Chuck and Mako.
“You had a bad dream last night,” Yancy said softly, stroking a hand across Raleigh’s curls.
“Oh yeah,” Raleigh sighed, pressing close again. “I don’t like those dreams.”
“You don’t have to worry about bad dreams, Rals. Not with me around. I’ll always protect you.” Yancy promised, hoping that would be enough to reassure him. That had worked when he was a kid, when he still believed his dad could protect him, or at least would care enough to try.
“But,” Raleigh reached out to grab a handful of Yancy’s t-shirt again. “But, what if you’re not there?”
“What do you mean, Rals? Where would I be?”
“What if something… took you?” Raleigh asked, voice small and wavering. Yancy ducked down and at the same time reached to tuck his thumb under Raleigh’s chin, lifting his face so he could look into his eyes.
“Is that what the dreams are about?” Yancy said, and he could barely hide his wince when Raleigh nodded.
“A monster,” he whispered, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “A monster from the ocean takes you. And it’s so dark, and I can’t find you, and then the monster is trying to get me, too and there’s no one there and I can’t find you-“ Raleigh’s voice was getting louder with each word that came spilling out, faster and faster until his breath hitched and Yancy knew exactly what Raleigh was dreaming about, and he wanted to scream, he wanted to rip Newt Geiszler limb from fucking limb, he wanted to wrap this kid up in blankets and hide forever.
But he couldn’t do any of that. Raleigh needed him to be stronger than that.
“Shhh, Raleigh, it’s okay. It’s just a bad dream. There aren’t any monsters in the ocean.” Not anymore. You killed them, you beat them, but you don’t remember that right now.
“I’m scared,” Raleigh admitted, sounding so small and lost.
“I know, sweetheart,” Yancy smoothed the hair off his forehead, and cradled him close. “But I promise you, nothing’s gonna hurt you, and nothing’s gonna take me away from you.” He waited until the grip on his shirt loosened, until Raleigh started to squirm a little in his arms, and then pulled back to establish eye contact again. The kid still looked a bit wobbly, but much better than a few minutes ago, like he was starting to come around. “Tell you what, kiddo, let’s have a pajama and movie day. Me and you, and we can invite Chuck and Mako, and we’ll put all the pillows and blankets on the floor and watch movies. How does that sound?”
“Good,” Raleigh smiled. “But what about breakfast?”
“We’ll wear our pajamas to breakfast, too,” Yancy said, laughing at the look of glee that burst across Raleigh’s face.
“To the mess hall?” He squealed. His excitement at the silliness of this concept, pajamas in the mess hall, distracted Raleigh handily while Yancy used the bathroom and pulled on a pair of flannel pants and a hoodie, and he was scampering out the door in no time with none of the reticence or grumpiness of the previous day. In the interest of not missing out on pancakes, Yancy hustled them straight to the mess hall without stopping in to see if the other two were still in their room. As it turned out, Stacker and Herc and the kids were lingering at their usual table. Raleigh was immediately drawn in by a very enthusiastic welcoming committee, which freed up Yancy to grab them both some plates without any of Raleigh’s usual indecisiveness and back and forth.
“Seems better today, yeah?” Herc said once they were settled, smiling indulgently as Raleigh chewed his pancakes with more enthusiasm than manners. Yancy glanced over at the kids, but they were happily chattering away amongst each other and not really paying attention to the adults, and after taking a fortifying draw of coffee, he got down to brass tacks.
“It isn’t a hypothetical anymore. He’s dreaming about Knifehead.” He announced, and felt perversely gratified by how immediately devastated both men appeared at the news.
“Ah, hell, the poor little bloke.” Stacker murmured. “We can’t allow this continue much longer. If those memories are starting to push through, who knows what kind of psychological damage it could cause?”
“What did Geiszler say yesterday?” Yancy pressed.
“A lot of bullshit, but I believe he’s got a handle on it. I wanted him to be sure, but… he’s probably as certain as he’ll get. I expect he’ll need a day or so to prepare.” Stacker pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Well, I promised Raleigh a movie day, so if you guys wanna ride herd on the scientists, I can watch the kids.” Yancy said. He trusted Stacker, and Herc, to make sure that whatever Geiszler was planning was safe. No way they’d let him near Chuck and Mako unless they were confident he had it locked down.
“If you don’t mind,” Herc said, obviously agreeing with the division of labor.
“I got this,” Yancy asserted, and actually believed it himself.
If he could ignore the low-level terror, niggling just under his skin whenever it occurred to him that Newt fucking Geiszler was going to try and mad science his brother back to his proper self, Yancy found that he quite enjoyed spending the day with the tiny versions of his brother and friends. No one seemed to have the energy to even contemplate shenanigans, there was much cuddling and giggling, and the movies the kids picked out weren’t especially mind numbing, and even kind of funny. Even Chuck seemed to be warming up to him as the day went on.
“Yancy is the best brother,” Raleigh announced at dinner that evening, and Mako quickly nodded her agreement.
“Yes, very good.”
“I guess he’s okay,” Chuck allowed, and Yancy reached out to scruff his hair.
“Thanks, squirt,” he laughed, and what was life coming to when he felt validated by Chuck Hansen’s faint praise?
There was a definite sobriety to bedtime that night, with Yancy, Herc and Stacker fighting for real estate on the edge of the bed as they went through the selected story books and forehead kisses and promises for tomorrow. If Geiszler was right, this was the last night they’d spend with these versions of their loved ones.
No one wanted to consider what it would mean if Geiszler were wrong.
* * *
“So, basically this all started with my attempt to re-create the conditions the Precursors used to accelerate the growth of their clones-“
“An experiment that you no longer be pursuing.” Stacker interjected, and they must have hashed that out before, because Geiszler’s left eye twitched, but he didn’t try and argue the point.
“Right, no experiments without your approval.” He nodded so enthusiastically that his glasses slipped down his nose. As a whole, it was not an image that inspired confidence. “Based on the procedures Hermann and I witnessed during our funky kaiju brain drift, I was able to recreate the data, mostly, I mean, some of it I inferred, based on the-“
“You mean you guessed,” Yancy stated. “You guessed, and you got it BACKWARDS because instead of accelerated growth-“
“Well, right, regression. Unexpected, yes, but the science was sound! And, I mean, it’s probably for the best anyway. Can you imagine if I had turned them into senior citizens?”
“Newton!” Gottlieb, always more in tune to the currents of a room, sensed that any exploration of that topic might be counter-productive to their continued existence, and motioned for Geiszler to move along.
“Right, okay! So I’ve recalibrated, based on the results, and a controlled application on a test subject-“
“Test subject? Explain!” Stacker demanded.
“I’m not just going to expose a bunch of kids to untested science,” Geiszler said. “Well, I mean, except for the first time, but that was an accident. I wouldn’t do it on purpose, is what I’m saying. So I tested it on myself. Hermann helped. I de-aged, and then re-aged myself. It was awesome. But I was definitely a bit out of it, after the re-aging part, which is why it took me so long. Wanted to make sure it hadn’t left any damage.”
“How would you tell?” Herc said sardonically. Stacker looked pained, and as horrifying as it was to picture a tiny Geiszler running amok, for the first time since this shitshow started, Yancy was starting to feel like things might actually turn out okay.
“Did it hurt?” Yancy asked, and for once, Geiszler looked serious.
“There was discomfort, yes, but it happens so fast, and it’s so disorienting… they won’t really know what’s happening until it’s over. And then, you know, all around soreness. Growing pains, which, you know, I didn’t really experience the first time around so it was pretty interesting to note-”
“Newton,” Gottlieb pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed deeply. Yancy felt a certain appreciation for the older man, who seemed to retain his sanity despite having shared a drift with his hyperactive colleague.
“Right, so, no undue physical symptoms. Just, you know, they’ll probably want to lie low for a few days.”
And that was a plan that Yancy could get behind, because he wasn’t going to want Raleigh out of his sight once this was all over.
* * *
“What the fucking fuck!”
In the interest of not getting Frankenstein’d into a senior citizen, and also because he wasn’t actually sure he could watch whatever was going to happen without throwing up, Yancy had elected to wait just outside the lab while the… acceleration process occurred. Apparently Herc and Stacker agreed, but after assuring themselves that the kids were fine, and in fact it was the adults who probably needed the comforting, they had joined Yancy at the identified safe distance.
Thankfully, they weren’t waiting long, and Chuck’s angry bellow seemed as good a sign as any. There was a shameful amount of pushing as all three men tried to squeeze through the doorway at the same time.
“Oh, thank fuck!” Yancy breathed, as spotted Raleigh, his Raleigh, standing in the middle of the lab, wavering on unsteady legs and looking confused as hell.
“Yance?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, Rals,” Yancy’s hands were shaking, and he knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t stop touching Raleigh, patting his cheek, squeezing his hands, and finally wrapping an arm around his waist when it looked like he might be about to hit the floor. He could see Herc and Stacker giving Chuck and Mako the same rundown, Geiszler, uncharacteristically, was staying well out of the way.
“Are, are you okay?” Raleigh asked, holding on for dear life but obviously trying to get a read on his brother and it was so fucking Raleigh, so typical of this damn kid, who had just aged about 20 years in a couple heartbeats after spending a week as a toddler, who barely had his legs under him, and still his first question was about Yancy’s state of being.
All things considered, it probably shouldn’t have been a surprise when Yancy opened his mouth to say something to that effect, and started crying instead.
It had, after all, been a helluva week.