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Yuuri sat on the bed of Victor's hotel room as he watched the other man pack slowly. There was still time before Victor had to head to the airport to fly back to Japan, but not much. 'I told him to go,’ Yuuri chastised himself whenever he started to get anxious thinking about Victor leaving, 'He has to go, I can't let him have the regrets I do, when he could avoid it.’ It still pained him to think that his pillar of support would soon be gone, and he'd be alone, fighting to keep Victor by his side. If he didn’t advance, Victor had no reason to stay. Yuuri felt as if he never had so much to lose before.
Victor had entrusted Yakov with coaching Yuuri for the free skate. Yuuri personally thought he'd be better off alone, but if Victor wanted it Yuuri would trust him. Yurio would be there too, and as angry as the young skater was, Yuuri was always happy to see him. Seeing Yurio angry at him made Yuuri relax, for whatever reason. It was a universal constant, a raging Yurio meant that everything was as it should be. Yuuri wanted to cling to anything that meant status quo.
“-om you.” Victor had been speaking, but Yuuri had blanked out, only catching the tail end of what he said. Blinking up to Victor, Yuuri noticed his own cheeks were wet. Oh, had he been crying? That's the last thing he wanted right now, he didn't want Victor to see how scared he really was.
Wiping his tears away Yuuri tried to put on a brave face. “S-sorry, I missed that.”
Victor was staring at his now fully packed and closed suitcase, brow furrowed with a worried expression on his face. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking to Yuuri. He walked up to stand before him, running his thumb over the tear tracks on his cheek. “I really don't want to be away from you.”
Leaning forward, Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor's waist, holding him tightly. Hearing Victor's words was comforting; Victor hated this just as much as he did. But they both knew what had to be done, and Yuuri was now convinced this was the right thing to do.
Yuuri lifted his head and rested his chin on Victor's stomach, still holding him around the waist. “I'll skate for you tomorrow. Promise me you'll watch.”
“Of course, Yuuri, I wouldn't miss it fo-” Victor caught himself, chuckling sadly at the falseness of the statement, “I will watch your free skate, Yuuri. I will watch it.” He ran a gentle hand over Yuuri's hair as he looked down at him with reverence. “I can't take my eyes off you, Yuuri.”
Victor's phone then buzzed in his coat pocket, indicating that Victor's cab had arrived. Standing, Yuuri placed a soft kiss to Victor's lips. They stood there and took comfort in each other, just holding onto the moment. Then Victor pulled back and caressed Yuuri's face in his hands. “I'll wait for you back home.”
Mustering all his resolve, Yuuri held Victor tightly and looked him straight in the eye. “I'm going to advance to the finals, and then I'm going to come back to you.”
Mouth drawn taught to a thin line, Victor's face showed a slew of emotions, before settling on a smile. It was sad, but full of love. Yuuri knew he was the only one who got to see this kind of smile from Victor. Stepping away and grabbing his suitcase, Victor led Yuuri out the door by the hand. “I know you will, Yuuri.”
---
Yuuri was tense. He missed the weight of Victor’s arm around him. He had gotten so used to Victor hanging off of him at all times that now suddenly it was a very blatant absence. Yuuri had never realised just how nice a hug was until he was lacking.
Having avoided Yakov during the warmup, Yuuri was surprised to have him sit with him in the kiss and cry. He was even more surprised to be suddenly getting a lecture. Suppose Victor had to have learned that from somewhere , Yuuri thought. But he appreciated it. A lot. This felt normal, sort of. And Yakov was right, of course, Victor hadn’t known to teach him to plan for failing his jumps. Yakov didn’t have to be imparting his years of wisdom, but here he was doing just that, simply because Victor had asked for a favor. Yuuri wished he’d spoken to him before he skated. He turned and hugged Yakov, thanking him in Russian.
It was no hug from Victor, but Yuuri felt a bit better.
---
In a daze, Yuuri walked through the halls of the arena. He had advanced to the Grand Prix Finals, but just barely. He could keep Victor by his side. Victor… who was not by his side right now. Normally Victor would have an arm around him, and be guiding him off from an interview or out to dinner, or back to the hotel. He’d be talking Yuuri’s ear off about his performance. Yuuri’s fingers twitched for want of physical contact.
And suddenly Sara was in front of him, congratulating him and offering a hug. So he took it. It felt nice. But it wasn’t enough. So he hugged Michele. The guy practically passed out from shock, that was less satisfying. Emil showed up, and he was next. That was a good hug, Emil was a good hugger and seemed happy enough to receive one spontaneously. Seung-gil turned the corner and Yuuri latched onto him. He figured Seung-gil could use a hug anyway, but the other skater seemed uncomfortable. Ah well. Then JJ was approaching, pontificating about himself it seemed, and he was silenced with a hug. Yurio’s blonde head appeared and Yuuri pounced. For someone who had just nearly killed himself skating, he was surprisingly fast at evading Yuuri’s affections. But Yuuri’s stamina was better, and soon enough Yurio was tackled in an embrace.
That was all well and good, but Yuuri still felt unsatisfied. He realized forlornly that he was not going to feel right again until it was Victor in his arms. He sauntered morosely outside to think on that more.
---
Yuuri was exhausted. The overnight flight from Moscow had been packed full, so he wasn't able to get much sleep. And he still had a two hour train ride back to Hasetsu. Sighing, Yuuri wished his travel was already done with. He wanted to see Victor. Advancing to the finals was exactly what he had gone for, but it had been stressful to say the least, and it just wasn't the same without Victor there. He had gotten through it and survived his loneliness, but he still missed Victor's embrace more than anything else. Everything felt colder, and Yuuri wondered if that was because Victor spent so much time draped over him that it kept him physically warm.
As he strode down the hall from the plane, Yuuri thought about what he wanted from Victor, and what he had to offer, and how much he had to tell him. Then he heard a very familiar bark. Looking up and gasping, Yuuri saw Maccachin leaning eagerly against the glass, and behind him Victor was sitting in the waiting area. Except that as soon as he noticed Yuuri, Victor stood and ran for the doors. Yuuri did the same. Diving into his arms felt like coming home.
---
In hindsight, Yuuri should have known Victor would want to meet him at the airport. And that he’d be willing to pay for a ride there and back again. Yuuri piled into the back seat, finally wrapping Maccachin into his arms and giving him a hug. He buried his face in Maccachin’s fur and took a deep breath as the car pulled away.
“I’m so glad Maccachin is ok…”
“Me too… I’m glad your family was there for me… I wish I could have been there for you Yuuri.”
“N-no Victor, I-” Yuuri looked up to Victor to protest more, but was cut off with a kiss. Maccachin curled up happily between them as they moved closer, Victor slipping a hand to cradle the back of Yuuri’s head and hold him close.
Victor pulled back only long enough to whisper against his lips, “I missed you so much, Yuuri.”
They both felt a bit desperate, having longed to touch and to be close. It might seem silly, later, since they were hardly apart for two days, but the distance had hurt so much. It made Yuuri realize they hadn’t spent more than half a day away from each other before this. Yuuri raised his hands to grip Victor’s coat as he leaned hungrily into him.
Yuuri found it very difficult to keep his hands to himself for the ride home. Victor, as always, never even bothered trying.
---
Arriving at Yu-topia did not, unfortunately, result in Yuuri immediately crawling into bed. Minako-sensei and the Nishigoris were there waiting for him, to greet him and congratulate him for advancing along with his family. Minako insisted they throw a party, but when Victor declared Yuuri should get some sleep, they all agreed to return later. Yuko suggested they celebrate placing in the finals at the same time they celebrate Yuuri’s birthday, and Victor’s eyes lit up. Yuuri wondered if he should be concerned.
But soon enough everyone left, and Victor was dragging Yuuri down the hall to the onsen. They washed up quickly, and Yuuri felt all his bones melt as he slid into the water. He was fairly certain that if Victor hadn’t been there to prop him up, he might have fallen asleep and drowned himself.
Being exhausted from travel and, frankly, from the roller coaster of emotions they’d experienced in the past 24 hours, they didn’t stay long in the baths. There was no objection as Victor followed Yuuri into his room, and certainly none when he curled up around Yuuri in his bed. Victor peppered kisses over Yuuri’s face, and was muttering something affectionately under his breath, but Yuuri was so comfortable in Victor’s arms that he fell asleep immediately. That night Yuuri dreamt of skating with Victor, warmth radiating from them as they floated in slow, looping circles around each other, on a seemingly endless span of ice. The next morning he woke to Victor’s smile, and knew that he would do everything in his power to stay close to him.