Work Text:
Barry is sharing a cup of tea with Vanessa Bloome, in the house of her former husband whom she left for a bee
BARRY: this tea is l i t
VANESSA: pleas bary you are tearing this family apar
BAREY: wat family
VANESSA: o yea I divorced my husband for you bc i ly bariey
BARY: I'm gay
VANESSA: wat
VANESSA: not like I'm a homophone but
VANESSA: ur a bee
BARNEY: so a be can bee in love with a woman but not a guy
BAR: ngl that's pretty homophone
VANESSA: pleas baree
BEE: who is your husband
VANESSA: Justin briber
BARE: I'm gonna Mary him
VANESSA: bareyie no
(A large crash can be heard from the kitchen. Barry falls into the tea while Vanessa goes to check because no one is supposed to be in the kitchen.)
VANESSA: all around me are familiar faces
(camera pans to shrek, holding an onion and generally looking pretty guilty in the kitchen)
VANESSA: worn out places
shrek: this meme is not dank
VANESSA: worn out faces
BERYEE: (from balcony, still in teacup) oshit who dat
shEk: I came here because I know you have onions
Srehk: I am also like an onion
SHRKE: I have layers
VANESSA: I thought it was becaus you make people cry
SHARK: that too
SHERK: anyway I was in a rough place and I needed someone to relate to
(BEARY enters from the balcony, still drenched in tea. Upon seeing SAERKH, he gasps and develops kawaii anime eyes.)
BAIRE: damn son!!! damn!!!!!!!! son!! Son!!!
SARK: nvm I do not need these onion. relatability is not dependent on whether or not you have layers
(SHEIK and BAE embrace in a passionate and tender kiss.)
VANESSA: wait!!!!! stop!!!!! that bee does not have onions
SHEKR: but there are onion in this kitchen
VANESSA: yea but that's not his kitchen
SHERCC: possession normally correlates to a person present or close by, therefore this is your kitchen and these are your onion
VANESSA: welcome to my kitchen... we have bananis... and avocadis.....
BARF: I ship it. I am going after your husband vanoss a
VANESSA: he ain't as good as shirk over here
shreKc: leave us barneri. you are interfering in my ceremony of layers
BERAY: i'ma get me some Justin boober
VANESSA: his memes aren't dank
SACKH: he is Interfering in my Ceremony
VANESSA: yes... dat tru....
(Montage begins, as BAOR finds VANESSA's husband, in the pouring rain, and they reenact the entirety of the Titanic screenplay while All Star plays in the background. The short ends as BASILISK and JUSTAIN BEEBOP get married, fading to black.)