Work Text:
Tony Stark was not staring at a national icon's ass, nope, nu-uh. Captain America's ass just so happened to be in his line of sight. He was staring into space, not thinking about Cap's ass, he was thinking about Dummy's next upgrade or how to improve the Iron man suit, or hwo to make JARVIS less sarcastic. He was not thinking about Steve's ass.
Okay so maybe he was thinking about Steve's ass, but it's a nice ass and Steve is kicking the shit out of a punching bag (which Tony may or may not have installed in his workshop for this particular reason).
Tony did not need to explain why his eyes were fixed on the ass of an American - no, scratch that, the American - hero. Except for the fact that said American hero was, a. His team leader, b. from the fourties - so older than him by, what? 50 years? (yet also about half his age physically) - and c. almost definatly straight and most likely not interested in him in the slightest. But hey, the guy had a spectacular ass.
Steve stopped punching the punching bag abruptly, turning to stare at Tony as he felt eyes on him. His brows furrowed.
Tony ducked his head quickly as he processed Steve's turning, suddenly staring at crotch instad of ass, not that Steve's crotch wasn't also spectacular, expecially in those sweatpants. Tony fourced down a blush that threatened to color his cheeks.
"W-Where you staring at my butt?" Steve asked, confused, and slightly amused.
Tony stayed silent, not because he was guilty, because he wasn't, nope no way not at all, but because he was busy, busy on, uh, what ever it was he was building.
"Tony?"
Tony stayed staring at the nuts and bolts and various mechanical componants that scattered his workbench trying, so so hard, not to think about Steve, or his ass, or his crotch. Trying to keep his mind focused soully on the task in front of him.
"Tony?" Steves voice sounded closer now, more amused than before.
Tony kept staring at his creation, his mind whirring as he tried to figure out waht it was. Stereo? no. Waffle maker? no. Blender? no. What is it? What is it?
"Tony!" Steve sounded utterly amused now, and Tony realised slowly that while he was sorting out what the mess was he'd forgotten to hold back his blush.
Portable Coffee maker? Alarm clock? Helper bot?
"TOASTER!" Tony blurted, finally looking at Steve in his excitement of figuring it out. Steve looked confused at the outburst, though his confused smile was also about half amused.
"It's a toaster" Tony explained, unable to stop talking, because if he stopped talking Steve would start. And Steve would likely ask him if he's been staring at his butt again. "It's a toaster, I'm making a toaster. I don't know why it has speakers though, what was I thinking why would a toaster need speakers? But it's a toaster, definitely a toaster. See here are the..."
"Tony!" Steve basically laughed, grinning.
"Yeah?"
"Where you staring at my butt?" He asked again barely keeping a straight face.
"Pff, No, of course not, weren't you listening I'm making a toaster with speakers! Why would I be staring at your ass? Not that you don't have a great ass, your ass is great, amazing, fantastic, brilliant, awesome, really. Perfect even. But I wasn't staring at it I have no reason to stare at, I was building a toaster, a toaster with speakers, a talking toaster infact, a sentient toaster that can spew insults at Merida. Yeah, I was creating a sentient talking toaster. Definitely not staring at your perfectly formed..."
Steve place a hand over Tony's mouth, grinning. Tony stared up at him, smiling sheepishly agianst the hand until Steve released it.
"...ass" He finished "perfectly formed ass." Steve stared at him, an amused but expectant smile on his face, his arms crossed across his chest.
"Okay, fine, I was staring at your ass!" Tony admitted, blushing slightly, after a few seconds. "But it's a good ass! Anyone would be okay with - and want to - stare at your ass! In fact I think there are quite a few blogs online dedicated to your ass."
Steve laughed quietly at Tony's rambling, one eyebrow raised. He learnt forward slightly, surprising Tony into silence with a kiss before walking slowly back towards the punching bag, hips swaying teasingly.
Tony stared at him, mouth opening an closing like a goldfish.
"I... Wha?... I... STEVE!"
Steve laughed.