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There’s only so much meditating a guy can do before he’s bored out of his skull. Usually he manages to cram in a few hours of Taako-time a night, but his mind is trying to focus on a few hundred things at once, and being calm and restful ain’t workin’ for Taako at the moment.
With no Magnus or Merle awake to bother, and his skeletal boyfriend(?) doing some ‘important reaping business, yes I really do have to go, can we please talk about my fashion choices later’, his options for entertainment are pretty limited. And sure, he could practice magic, or work on poison-proofing his cooking skills, or clean his room per Merle’s request- or any number of things, but it’s also four in the fucking morning and definitely not the time to be productive.
Which is why it’s totally reasonable and logical that Taako is wandering the moonbase in the middle of the night, swinging his umbra staff by the handle- and why he hears what he does.
It’s the unmistakable song of the Voidfish- and quite possibly the most terrifying thing you could hear at four in the morning. Can’t Johan figure out some fucking office hours with that thing? Maybe Taako should- yeah, Taako should definitely go beef it out with that guy. If only because he has nothing better to do, and Johan is usually good for a laugh if you play your cards right.
But, to the wizard’s surprise, it’s not Johan in there riling up the Voidfish. When Taako walks in, it’s Angus. The boy has his back turned to Taako to look at the tank, but it’s hard to mistake the boy detective with his height and unfortunate taste in clothing.
The Voidfish sings another four notes in what Taako thinks is greeting, because the giant fish somehow manages to look like it’s focused directly on him when he walks in. It’s very expressive, for a giant tentacle-blob monster made out of stars.
“Hey, bucko, whatever you’re doing, some people on this moon are trying to-” He starts to say, but then Angus turns around and he stops completely.
He’s heard it before, like in the Crystal Kingdom with the killer robot, but Taako can’t recall ever actually seeing Angus cry. It’s pretty.. terrible to look at. He can only make it out by the light the voidfish is giving off, but his face is red and puffy and his frame shakes with a sob when he sees Taako standing there.
“O-oh,” Angus sniffs, quickly bringing up a handkerchief to rub at his eyes(because of course he has a handkerchief), “H-Hello, sir!”
Something uncomfortable curls in Taako’s chest, and his instinct to run away and avoid hard situations wants to kick in. Taako’s good out here, because Taako definitely isn’t qualified to deal with a crying boy detective. But even he can see how much of a dick move that would be. And seeing Angus crying reminds him of just how young the kid actually is- and that stirs up some emotion in him that he really doesn’t want to think about. It helps make up his mind for him, though.
“Rough night, pumpkin?” He asks with a sigh, taking another step into the room.
“I’m s-sorry, sir, I was just- t-talking to the Voidfish!” The boy takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, “I’ll, uh- y-you can have a turn, I’ll go to bed now-”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Taako holds up his hands, shaking his head, “The only place you’re goin’ is to Casa Del Taako, my man. Tonight’s special is a cup of hot cocoa with your name on it.” He finishes with a convincing wink.
Angus watches him wide eyed and open mouthed for a moment before he starts crying harder and Taako is seriously backtracking to try and figure out what he did wrong. Noticing his panic, Angus hiccups and wipes at his face again.
“T-thank you, s-sir, I would like that very m-much.” He says through his tears, giving a definitive nod.
Angus takes a hesitant step towards him, so Taako gestures with the umbra staff for him to follow as he starts heading back to his rooms.
Another adult might wipe his tears, tell him it’ll be okay, but Taako’s doing the best he can with what he knows. And what he knows is how to make a mean cup of hot chocolate to vent over, so he hopes that’ll be enough for the kid. Not that he cares or anything, but he has time to kill, doesn’t he?
The walk back is quiet - aside from Angus sniffling - and he leads him into the Tres Horny Boys suite with a flourish, putting his umbra staff on the coat rack. Without waiting a beat, the wizard marches over to the kitchenette, an elf with a half-baked plan, and starts pulling out everything he needs for his baller hot chocolate recipe.
Angus trails in behind him, more noticeably red-faced in the light, but he doesn’t look like he’s actively about to burst into tears anymore, so Taako counts it as a win while he starts heating up a pan of milk. Au naturel, no magic involved, just Taako, a stove, and his ingredients.
(It doesn’t stop the panic from rising in his throat, but he manages to quell it for now. He’ll taste test it this time. There’s no magic. He knows every ingredient and he’s double checked everything over and over. It won’t hurt him. It won’t hurt anyone- It won’t-)
“Sir?” A voice asks, breaking into his thoughts.
He didn’t realize he’d been holding the handle of the pan with a white-knuckled grip, staring off into nothing, but the milk is already starting to bubble, and how long was he lost in thought? ..Taako decides it’s not time to think about that. Tonight is about Angus, he can do… that, later.
He takes a deep, steadying breath before he puts on a smile for the kid. “Ango, do me a solid and look in the pantry for some marshmallows, would you? Can’t have hot chocolate without ‘em.”
In the edge of his vision, Angus gives him a nod and gets out of his chair to start digging through the pantry while Taako starts measuring out cocoa and sugar. His kitchen is equipped with measuring cups, so he doesn’t use his hands, if only because people have really gotten on his case about that since he started cooking at the Bureau.(and frankly, the more by the books he does this, the better he’s going to feel about it.)
“Taako, sir, I don’t think you have any.” Angus pipes up, sounding much calmer and more put-together than before.
“What?” He scoffs, “Of course I do, you just aren’t looking hard enough.”
“But I’m the world’s greatest d-”
Taako rolls his eyes. “If I get over there and find what I’m looking for, I’m going to take away your marshmallow privileges.”
“I’m looking,” a panicked Angus says, “I’m looking!”
Taako shakes his head with a slight smirk while he starts stirring the pot. He almost sounded like his aunt.
He’s turned the heat off and is about to add the vanilla before a loud ripping sound behind him startles him. Taako is far past being concerned about it, though, all he does is shake his head and bite back a smile.
“I’m sorry about being called away like that, darling, but I swear I do own more than the black and- oh, you’re cooking?” Kravitz starts, sounding intrigued.
“For the last time, dark gray does not count,” Taako complains, adding a splash of vanilla to the pan of hot chocolate, “And grab some mugs from up there, would you? You’re a tall drink of water, literally, you can reach.”
Kravitz sighs and does as he asks, and from the corner of his eye, Taako can see he still hasn’t gone back to the ‘handsome’ face, still skeletal from whatever job he was out on. Taako is past caring by now, but he feels like he’s forgetting something.
He turns his head to look over at the pantry and- Oh, right, there’s an Angus peering out at them both, face frozen in terror and intrigue.
“Hey, Krav,” Taako says, raising an eyebrow at Angus, “Lose the spooky scary skeleton thing, we have a plus one.”
Kravitz looks around in surprise, probably expecting to see one of Taako’s roommates somewhere. What he doesn’t expect is the child slowly edging out from the pantry, eyes moving back and forth between the reaper and the wizard.
“Oh- oh.” He says quietly, “I see.”
Angus’ expression is one of morbid curiosity while dark skin stretches over Taako’s bony boyfriend, working quicker than usual but still slow enough for Angus to see every detail moving into place. Kravitz’ absurdly handsome face looks sheepish when it’s finished materializing.
“You’re the secret boyfriend,” Angus says in an awed voice, “You were at the Chug ‘N Squeeze,”
“Wait- you little- you’ve been spying!” Taako immediately accuses, cutting off any response Kravitz has.
“I’m sorry, sir! People were talking and I just got so curious, and you’re not exactly sneaky about it and you never rolled a high enough investigation check to spot me so I-”
“And if you’re such a great detective, where are my marshmallows at, you little snoop?”
“You don’t have any! Please don’t take away my privileges!” Angus looks much more scared about the prospect of losing his marshmallows than Taako’s reaper boyfriend, which is hilarious, so he’s not actually too mad about all the blatant spying.
Speaking of the reaper boyfriend, Taako looks over at him and puts on his best, most winning smile. “Sweetie. Sweetheart.”
“Oh, no,” Kravitz sighs.
“Darling. Dearest. Light of my life. Apple of my eye. Jumper of my bones.”
“Please just ask whatever it is.”
“Don’t suppose you want to make a late run to Fantasy Costco for me and my boy here? Grab some of those sweet little pillows of goodness?” Taako wiggles his eyebrows, “We can’t have cocoa without marshmallows, my man, it’s a crime against nature. You’d have to reap our souls for that kind of injustice.”
“I- don’t joke about that, just-” Kravitz lost the battle before he even started, and quite frankly he’s been sent on weirder errands. So instead of arguing, he just sighs again and gives Taako a withering look that would’ve struck fear into anyone else. “Regular sized or the very tiny ones.”
“Surprise me?” Taako winks.
Kravitz resigns himself to his fate and gives Angus one last curious look before he grabs his scythe out of thin air and rips a new dimensional tear into Taako’s kitchen. In half a second he’s gone, leaving Taako alone with Angus and a pan of hot chocolate.
“You know, you never put the vanilla in until you’ve mixed everything else in and turned the heat off.” Taako explains conversationally, turning back to the stove while Angus creeps out into the open and stares.
“Taako, sir, did you just send the grim reaper out for marshmallows?” He asks.
“Sure did, buckaroo. He’ll be back in a jiff.” Taako replies cheerfully, “Do you want the ‘Bingo Mama’ mug, or the ‘Moon’s Best Director’ mug?” He pauses, giving Angus a pointed look, “Snitches get stitches, Ango.”
“Uh- Bingo Mama, please.” Angus mumbles, walking over to peer at the cocoa, “That looks good.” He looks up at Taako intently, “It looks like hot chocolate.”
Ignoring what Angus is implying and the chill running down his spine, Taako blows some air out of his mouth, making an obnoxious sound. “‘Course it does, bubula, I know my shit. Now stop hovering and let the master work.”
Angus gives him a small smile before wandering off, presumably to go through his things and search for clues or some other boy-wonder bullshit. While he’s gone, Taako takes a deep breath and stares down at the pan of cocoa.
Time to taste, he guesses.
He picks up the spoon he’s been using to stir with, dipping it into the pan and taking out a spoonful. If he’s shaking ever so slightly, or if his heart is starting to race, he ignores it in favor of sticking the spoon in his mouth as fast as he can before he can chicken out.
Tastes just like his aunties hot chocolate.
He doesn’t appear to be dying.
Taako lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, just in time for Kravitz to make his appearance again, looking very disgruntled while he holds a bag of marshmallows out.
“Went that good, huh?” Taako asks, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
“He tried to bargain.” Kravitz mutters.
“He is the deals warlock. How much did he charge ya?”
“....right. He charged me. He charged me money. I handed him currency.” Kravitz says, almost like he’s trying to affirm it to himself as well, “I sure did.”
Taako’s too busy fighting off a panic attack to look into that one, so he makes a mental note to ask about it later. For now, he takes the bag of mini(fuck yes) marshmallows from Kravitz with a convincing grin, tearing it open and dumping an ungodly amount into each mug.
“Agnes, stop hiding and get over here, we’re doing this shit right.”
Angus scampers over, looking at Kravitz with boyish curiosity, and none of the earlier terror present. He doesn’t see Krav as a threat anymore, just a mystery to solve. Typical Ango.
“Oh! Sir, excuse my lack of manners, I completely forgot!” Angus exclaims, holding out a hand like he isn’t starting up a conversation with death, “My name is Angus McDonald. Not actually Agnes, that’s just a goof Mister Taako does in good fun!”
“McDonald?” Kravitz looks momentarily surprised before he shakes himself out of it, taking Angus’ hand and shaking it, “I- yes, of course. My name is Kravitz. I’ve heard a lot about you, Angus.” He says, which seems to send Angus over the moon.
“He’s lying, he’s never heard anything about you, ever.” Taako butts in while he pours mugs of hot chocolate.
“Taako has told me so much about you.” Kravitz retaliates, “He never stops talking about his magic boy. I can’t get him to shut up.” He leans down conspiratorially, giving Angus a dramatically whispered, “Good catch, by the way.”
Angus looks like he’s in heaven before Taako shoves a mug in his hands.
“Alright, enough of that, you’ll break him.” The elf grumbles, shoving one at Kravitz as well before he grabs his own and ushers them all out to the living room.
Angus, the little shit, sits right in the middle of the couch. Then, he smiles at Taako and immediately takes a drink from his mug before Taako can start getting anxious again. All he can do is stare at the boy and clench his mug tightly in both hands, waiting.
“This... is amazing, Taako!” He exclaims, giving him a thrilled look while he kicks his legs eagerly, “Can you teach me how to do this?”
He takes a deep breath before finding it in himself to reply. “..Woah there, bubula,” Taako laughs nervously, sitting down next to him, “Let’s get through tonight before we make any grand plans.”
Kravitz shoots him something like a sympathetic look, catching the wizard’s attention. He looks awkward as fuck - gorgeous as ever, though - clutching a mug of hot chocolate and probably wondering where his life went wrong. He’s pretty obviously not used to this sort of domestic scene, or at least not used to joining in.
He finally moves to take a seat on the other side of Angus, but he stiffens when he’s interrupted, an indecipherable noise coming from the necklace he’s wearing. He gives Taako an apologetic look, and Taako sighs, knowing what’s coming.
“I- excuse me, I have a- duty calls.” Krav explains quickly, and then he’s pulling his scythe out and vanishing in another dimensional rip. There’s a moment of silence while the other two both stare at where he left and sip at their drinks.
“Is he.. going to go kill someone?” Angus asks curiously.
“I’ll tell you when you’re older, boy wonder.” Taako replies, pulling his legs up onto the couch to get comfy, “He’ll be back eventually. For now, kick back and relax with a steamin’ cup of pure joy, courtesy of yours truly.”
Angus gives him a toothy grin that only a kid could manage(is he missing a tooth?) before he takes another drink. Taako is much less concerned now, so all he does is roll his eyes. Sure, the anxiety is there, but it’s calmed down just enough that he can easily shove it down and ignore it.
“I don’t think I’ve had hot chocolate since the last time I visited my grandpa.” Angus says, his face falling for a moment before he smiles again. “I bet it wasn’t this good, though.”
“Oh, there’s no way. Special recipe. The vanilla? That shit’s important. And you have to have the perfect sugar-to-cocoa ratio, or the entire thing goes down the drain.” Taako rambles, tapping his fingers against the mug, “It also helps if you cut some of the milk with a splash of cream. Adds an extra little somethin’, you know?”
He’s so busy talking that he doesn’t notice Angus’ face scrunch up again.
“But Merle steals all the cream for his coffee, so I figured we shouldn’t get too crazy tonight. Hey, do you want more marshmallows? Cause I can-” Taako starts, then trails off when he’s interrupted with a sniffle and- for fucks sake, Angus is crying again.
“Okay! Fine! Fine! No marshmallows! We don’t need anymore marshmallows!” He says quickly.
“I-It’s not that,” Angus sniffs, clutching his mug to his chest, “Y-you’re just- you’re being so nice to me, sir,” He hiccups, looking up at Taako with a watery smile, “A-and I was feeling really bad earlier, and now I’m n-not! S-So that’s why.”
“Oh. Oh.” Taako says, resisting the urge to deny everything immediately, because Taako doesn’t do this feel-sy bullshit. “Well- pssh, it’s not like I had anything better to do with my night.”
“And- and you know how it is, when you get that sweet cocoa craving,” He waves a hand around airily, “You just happened to be around while I was thinkin’ about it, and I figured, hey, it wouldn’t kill me to.. uh..”
He’s cut off by the boy detective moving over to lean into his side, still smiling. Taako grimaces, but you know what, he stays put. Call him a softie, but he’d rather not have Angus start crying again because he couldn’t get his cuddle on.
(And besides. Taako wouldn’t admit this out loud if you had a fantasy gun pointed at his head, but it’s not that terrible.)
He lets the silence settle around them for a moment, letting his mind wander before he comes back to one pressing issue he never actually dealt with. Maybe it’s none of his business, but he did make the boy hot chocolate.
With a sigh, and because he’s too nosy not to, “So. What was up with the waterworks earlier, pumpkin?”
Angus sniffs and brings a hand up to rub at his eyes. “I was thinking about my family.”
“Oh.” Well, shit.
“I- I know what choice I made, the Director explained everything- and I love it here, even when you guys call me Agnes and say crude stuff and hold my books above my head, but I-” He takes a deep, shuddery breath, “I miss ‘em, sir. They don’t even- they don’t even remember, but I miss ‘em.”
That was one hell of a mistake to bring up. He is like, the least qualified to help Angus with this particular topic. Or second least, because the absolute least qualified person appears back in the room with another dimensional rip.
“Okay, I put a hold on my paperwork and now I’m here for realsies- oh.” Kravitz clears his throat, observing the two, “Should I just- I can go?”
“Ugh. No way, bonehead, this is happening. Get over here.” Taako drawls, rolling his eyes, “All aboard the cuddle train, Krav, next stop: emotional baggage city.”
“My favorite.” Kravitz sighs, finally sitting down on the couch.
To Angus’ credit, he looks surprisingly okay with death personified joining in. Kravitz, on the other hand, looks like he has no idea what to think about this scenario. Taako huffs and reaches over to grab his arm, trying to tug him close for some choice cuddling action. All Kravitz actually does is set a stiff hand on Angus’ shoulder, but it’s a win in Taako’s book.
“Mister Kravitz, sir, you’re kinda cold.” Angus points out, voice cracking.
“He’s a clammy one.” Taako agrees, “Now, listen to ‘ol Taako, Dangus, cause I’m about to lay down some wisdom. I should be charging you for this shit, but I’m feeling generous tonight.”
He’s already resigned himself to this bullshit, so Taako lets his arm settle around Angus’ shoulders while Kravitz watches on in quiet amusement.
“Family is overrated.” He explains, talking completely out of his ass, “Who needs ‘em! I haven’t had family since I was your age, and look at me! I turned out great!”
Kravitz’ expression does a complete 180. “Wait, Taako, maybe this isn’t the best-”
“I’m on a roll, boo, no stoppin’ me now. Where was I? Oh, right- family? Not that great! A bunch of people you’re stuck with just because one of them happened to squeeze you outta their loins? Fuck that!”
Angus makes a distressed noise, Kravitz smacks a hand to his forehead, but Taako ain’t done. “You’re a big kid now! You’re like, what, ten? Get out there and make your own family or some shit! You don’t need them-”
“Okay,” Kravitz interrupts, shooting Taako a look, “I think what Taako is trying to say, rather poorly, is that sometimes the people you surround yourself with can be just as good a family as blood relatives.”
“Oh.” Taako pauses, “That’s not what I’m trying to say at all, but yeah, sure, sounds good too.” He adds, lifting his hand to ruffle Angus’ hair.
“Okay, I think I get it, sir. You didn’t have to say the word ‘loins’, but I get it.” Angus says with a laugh, “So.. you mean people like you? And Merle and Magnus?” He turns his head to look up at Taako, oddly intent, “Family like that?”
Taako… doesn’t know how to respond to that one. That is not what he meant at all, no siree, he didn’t sign up for this. Back that shit right up, he’s getting off the train. He’s not Angus’ new mom, that’s not what he was saying at all!
If Kravitz notices his dilemma, he’s ignoring it. “That’s exactly what we mean, Angus.” His traitorous boyfriend confirms.
Right on cue, Angus starts tearing up again.
Taako shoots Kravitz an accusing look, but Kravitz is already staring at Taako with concern and panic, the very picture of ‘what the fuck do I do now’. He shrugs in response to the silent question. Hey, he’s not the one who said it.
“I’m s-sorry about this, sir,” Angus pulls a handkerchief out again, dabbing at his eyes, “I’m very emotionally vulnerable right now and it’s getting very late and I’m just- so happy to have you both.”
“Both?” Kravitz asks, then makes an expression like something is just now dawning on him. His mouth parts in a small ‘oh’, and he raises a perfect, dark eyebrow at Taako.
Taako resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, biting back a retort because yeah, that’s what you get, thug. He deliberates a moment, wondering how to cut off the road Angus is going down before he decides that, fuck it, it’s too late to deal with this shit. And- whatever, honestly. If they accidentally adopted Angus at five in the morning, he can handle it some other time.
Right now he has an arm around a boy, a hot dude chilling on his couch, some baller hot chocolate to drink- and for the moment, he’s cool with that.
“Hey, Krav, wanna tell Ango about how we met? Bet he’ll think the part with the tentacles was awesome.”