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“Mrrfpppph”
“Good morning to you, too,” Lance said with a small smirk. He was bent over, slightly hovering over the bed and staring at Keith, with two cups of coffee in hand. Keith attempted to reach out to grab one, but found merely lifting his arm a Herculean task.
Oh great.
Keith’s throat felt like it had been grated with sandpaper and any attempt to clear it of mucus only made it hurt more. His head was pounding and he could feel drops of sweat cascade down his back. It was like someone had lit a fire in his stomach and his whole body was burning from the inside out. The pain was excruciating. Not to mention, his nose was so clogged up that the only way he could even breathe was through short, exasperated breaths through his mouth.
Fuck.
He must’ve looked as shitty as he felt because Lance’s pleasant smile turned into a concerned frown.
“Keith, buddy, you feeling ok?” Lance set the coffees down on their bedside table and reached out to feel Keith’s forehead. Lance’s cool hand made Keith shiver, which only caused Lance furrow his eyebrows even more. Lance traced his hand down Keith’s cheek.
“You’re seriously burning up. Stay at home and get some more sleep, ok? Let me wake up Red to take care of you while I’m in class.” Lance started to get up, but Keith pressed his hand against Lance’s and nuzzled into it. Lance’s expression softened and he pressed a kiss to Keith’s forehead. Keith hummed with pleasure and greed trickled into his stomach as he drank in Lance’s affectionate gestures.
“Skip and stay here with me?” Keith said through his stuffed nose. Keith wouldn’t ever admit to being needy for the attention of his loved ones, but they all secretly understood this about him. Even if he had grown up alone and enjoyed his solitude, that only made those he considered “friends” even more valuable in his life. He loved to work in silence next to Pidge or read in the kitchen while Hunk cooked lunch. He couldn’t get enough of their company, especially Lance’s. As great as Red was at being a healthcare provider, among other things, it couldn’t replace the comforting weight of Lance on the bed and the gentleness of his touch. Keith gave his boyfriend his best puppy dog pout, but he knew he wouldn’t need it. Those words would have been enough to make Lance cancel plans with Marie Curie.
Lance chuckled slightly and continued to press butterfly kisses across Keith’s forehead. “You don’t have to ask me twice, but I still want to wake up Red and Blue to help out. I might be on the fast track to becoming a doctor, but it’s not the kind you need right now. I’ll be back in a tick.” Leaving one last kiss on Keith’s cheek, Lance pushed himself off the bed and Keith sighed contentedly as he watched Lance go into the living room in nothing but his favorite giant yellow T-shirt dress. It showed off his tall, graceful figure well and Keith never got tired of watching the way his hips moved in it.
A few seconds later, Keith heard Red and Blue’s tell-tale beeps and two chipper greetings of “Hello! I am mini B-tron! Your personal healthcare companion.” Keith would have laughed, but it hurt his throat too much. Even after taking guardianship over Red and Blue and taking them into battle on numerous occasions, the two little robots never gave up on their stiff formal greeting.
Moments later, Lance walked back into their bedroom with Red and Blue perched on his shoulder. Before he could even make it back to the bed, Red had already catapulted itself off of Lance’s shoulder and levitated gracefully to Keith’s side with its tiny jetpacks. The standardized formality of their greetings didn’t mean the robotic companions didn’t care immensely for their specific hero. Red asked, “On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?”
Keith smiled fondly and rasped, “Probably at a solid 8 right now, Red.”
At that, Red hopped off the bed and inflated itself to a more suitable size. Once about the size of a small toddler it said, “I will scan you now.” A few musical beeps later, a little screen popped up on Red’s stomach, which displayed an outline of the human body and several body parts highlighted in red.
“Scan complete. You have contracted acute coryza, also known as the common cold. Your temperature is 101˚F or 38˚C. Your nasal passageway and esophagus are particularly impacted. I suggest periodic hydration, a combination of dextromethorphan and guaifenesin, a saline nasal spray, and another three to four hours of sleep. I will prepare the dextromethorphan and guaifenesin tablets now.” Red lifted its arm and turned its palm skyward. A handful of little pills popped out of its hand with a short burst of air.
“Please ingest these pills every 12 hours. I also have prepared a saline nasal spray.” Red lifted up its other arm and extended its index finger and Lance sputtered out a laugh.
“Red, please tell me you are going to pick Keith’s nose right now,” he said through his giggles. Keith side-eyed him.
“I am not ‘picking’ at Keith’s nose, Lance. I am injecting saline into it,” Red innocently explained. This only made Lance laugh even harder.
“Sorry, dude. I swear I’m not trying to laugh at your pain, but you have to admit it’s pretty funny.” Lance said as he smirked at Keith and it made the poor bedridden soul briefly (only briefly) wish he hadn’t asked Lance to stay.
“Ugh, let’s just get this over with Red,” Keith said with a groan as Red readied its finger and lightly pressed it into each of Keith’s nostrils. The little spurt of liquid was doubly uncomfortable with Lance cackling in the background, but Keith figured it was worth it for the sweet relief of air flowing into his nostrils again as he sniffled.
Adjusting his glasses which had slipped down his face during his little laughing fit, Lance handed him a box of tissues from the nightstand and said, “Here, for your violated nose.”
Keith grumbled, but took the box gratefully, propping himself up on his arm. As he blew his nose, Blue floated in with a glass of water. It set the glass down on the table and then took its place back on Lance’s shoulder. When Keith finished clearing his nose, he deposited his disgusting wet tissues into one of Red’s hands, which promptly vacuumed them up for sterile disposal. Keith then took one of the pills from Red’s other outstretched hand and swallowed it down with some water. His throat burned from the effort and not even the cool water was much help. Thoroughly exhausted, Keith set his glass down and flopped back onto the bed in defeat. He could feel his eyelids getting heavier by the second.
Red sealed the pills in a small bag and set them gingerly onto the table. He turned to Keith and said, “Please get some rest as I escort Lance to a sterilized area.” Keith’s eyes fought back against sleep at this statement. Escort Lance where?
Lance also seemed against the idea and moved towards Red. “No can do, little dude,” Lance explained, “I’m also on the Keith Care bandwagon, so I’ll be staying right here.” Red shifted its head to look at Lance, but it was Blue who spoke.
“I’m sorry Lance, but as your personal healthcare companion I cannot allow you to willfully expose yourself to viral infection. Keith is highly contagious and it would be best if you avoided close proximity to him for at least two to three days.” Keith spluttered. Days? Lance frowned.
“Yeah, no. Sorry Blue, but that’s not happening. My boyfriend is sick and you’re telling me to avoid him?” Lance started to move towards Keith again, but Red gave a soft little push against his legs.
“Lance, please, we do not want to have to provide care for two patients. Let Blue and I take care of Keith.” Lance eyes softened as he looked at his boyfriend’s robot companion.
“Red, thanks for caring about me, really. And of course I don’t want to create more work for you and Blue, but you have to understand that when someone I love is sick the last thing I want to do is avoid them, even if that’s at the risk of getting sick myself.” Lance patted Red’s head lightly. “You and Blue have done a great job helping Keith, but now it’s my turn. My brand of care might not be as high-quality as yours, but I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.” With that, Lance waggled his eyebrows and smirked slightly. Red and Blue looked to each other as if silently conferring over what Lance had said. Red deflated back to pocket size and floated to Lance’s shoulder.
“As a healthcare companions, we understand the importance of home remedies and domestic treatments. We will agree to let you care for Keith, but please do not strain yourself unnecessarily and wake us if you require further care.” Red settled itself comfortably on Lance and tilted its head towards Keith. “Before we power down, Keith, are you satisfied with your care?”
Keith beamed at his friend and caretaker. “Thanks for understanding, you two. Of course, Red, I’m always satisfied with my care.” At that statement, Red and Blue’s programming kicked in and they floated upwards from Lance’s shoulders and back to their storage units in the living room. Lance and Keith watched them go affectionately.
Lance sighed. “Man, they really are just too cute. I want to snuggle them all day.” Keith understood what he meant. Sometimes he and Lance latched Red and Blue onto their backs to use as hot water bottles during particularly grueling nights in the lab. Their gentle heat and massages really saved them from aching shoulders and neck pain in the morning.
Lance turned around to give Keith his warmest smile. No matter how long they’d been together it still made Keith’s stomach twist whenever he saw it.
“But you know who I’d love to snuggle right now?” He asked as he crawled into bed with Keith. Their bodies tangled with each other and Keith nestled his head against Lance’s chest with a sigh. This really was nature’s best cold remedy.
“Thanks for staying,” he mumbled into Lance’s chest as he felt fingers lightly travel through his hair. Was it the pills or Lance’s caresses that were making his headache go away? At this point, probably both.
“Anything for my favorite patient,” Lance said as he continued to play with Keith’s hair. “This is way better than a biochemistry lecture.”
“Lance, you love biochemistry.”
“And your point is?”
Keith blushed and buried his face deeper into Lance’s chest. The vibrations of Lance’s quiet laughter rocked his body to sleep.
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When Keith woke up, body still aching like hell and his mouth tasting even worse, the bed was disappointingly empty. He blindly groped for the glass of water and when he lifted himself up to drink it, he spied a note on table.
I went to go buy some ~nutritious~ stuff to make you a Lance special cold remedy lunch. Take a shower to clear your sinuses while I’m gone <3
P.S. Your little red nose is adorable
Keith felt his heart go into overdrive and he nearly choked on his water. You’d think he’d have gotten used to Lance’s little romantic gestures, but they still made him as flustered as a middle school kid with their first crush. Placing the note carefully back on the table, he heaved his useless body out of bed. Taking deep breaths through his mouth, he wistfully remembered the joys of breathing easily through his nose. You never appreciate the simple beauties of life until they are so rudely stripped from you.
Grabbing a fresh purple t-shirt and a pair of black sweats to change into, he hobbled his way over to the bathroom. His body protested to the movement and when he finally made it to the shower, he felt like he had run a marathon. Up a mountain. That was on fire. Taking a brief look at himself in the mirror, he incredulously wondered how on Earth Lance thought his nose looked cute. Keith’s bedhead, eye bags, swollen red nose, and cracked lips made him look like a dead man walking, which wasn’t too far from the truth. Wiping some dried drool from his cheek, he thought about how love really did come with some powerful rose-colored lenses. Head pounding once again, he turned up the shower as hot as the water would go and gingerly tested the water with his hand before stripping and stepping into the scalding stream.
Sighing deeply, Keith felt like his body was being cleansed of all his sins and he was being reborn. He could feel functionality returning to his poor nose and throat. When was the last time a shower had felt this good? Well, he supposed there was that one time when he and Lance had gotten back from a particularly rough battle and fought for the shower before giving up and just going in together… Whether his cheeks were flushed red from the sickness, the heat of the water, or the memory, Keith wouldn’t say, but thoughts of Lance kept him occupied while he enjoyed the second best shower of his life.
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An eternity later (or roughly 30 minutes later), Keith emerged from the shower still feeling like shit, but at least he was a clean piece of shit. His sinuses had cleared marginally enough to smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen. As he padded closer, he could hear faint humming intertwining with the soft bubbling of boiling water. He smiled as Lance’s figure came into view, his head bobbing side to side to the tune of his humming. Leaning against the doorframe, Keith just watched as Lance tore into a cooked chicken with his bare hands, his hair pushed back with his favorite yellow headband. How could someone make such a violent action look so endearing?
Sneaking up behind Lance, Keith snaked his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and inhaled. Praise the lord for partially clear sinuses, because he could smell the way the cumin and onion had mixed with Lance’s usual cologne and Tide detergent.
“Well, look who decided to emerge from the watery depths,” Lance joked as he paused his chicken mauling to turn to face Keith. “How are you feeling?”
“Mm, better,” Keith murmured, still taking in the fact that he could smell again. “What are you making?”
“Old family recipe. My mom used to make it all the time when I was sick. I swear it’s a miracle worker. Here, smell it.” Lance put a bowl under Keith’s nose and it was what he smelled on Lance at full-force. He felt his sinuses clear even more and took a deeper breath.
“Smells amazing.”
“Just wait for the finished product. I only need to put the chicken and fideo in now. Should be another ten minutes,” Lance said as he put more pieces of shredded chicken into the bowl. “Go sit on the couch and put something on the TV. I’ll bring the party to you soon.”
Keith shook his head. “I think I’ll just stay here.” Lance looked down and the barest hint of a smile ghosted on his lips before he kissed Keith’s forehead.
“Sounds perfect.” He stirred the chicken mixture briefly with his hands before dumping into it into simmering pot, careful to turn his head away from the steam. “Though, I will have to ask you to let go of me so I can get a lemon from the fridge.”
Keith reluctantly let go but said, “No, don’t worry I got it.” He turned towards the fridge.
“Thanks, sweetie.”
Opening a drawer in the fridge, Keith was met with significantly more lemons than he remembered having last night.
“Uh, Lance. Did you buy out the entire lemon section at the store? Because I think they called and there’s a shortage.”
Lance snorted and said, “No, stupid. I’m making you tea with it later. It’s perfect for colds. Trust me.”
“I appreciate that but either this tea is pure boiled lemon juice or you expect me to be sick for the next two weeks.” Keith marveled at his boyfriend’s ability to, well, overdo things.
Lance gave him a pointed look. “Well, I figure if I end up being the next to go down in the sickness wave, I might as well be prepared.”
Keith stared back at him. “That’s… actually a good point.”
“Sometimes I can be smart, Keith.”
“I mean, yeah, you’re a genius chemist on a scholarship at a prestigious university who has invented and patented at least ten unique chemical compounds. Not to mention you fight by literally coming up with chemical combos on the fly in your purse, so really I think…”
Lance blushed and turned back to the stove, but muttered, “Alright, sheesh Keith. Even my ego is starting to feel a bit embarrassed with all this praise.”
Keith smirked and kicked the fridge door closed with his foot. His sickness had made him a little more open than usual and he liked the effect his infrequent, but straightforward compliments had on Lance. Lance sliced the lemon and squeezed it into the pot, his other hand catching any stray seeds. He brow was furrowed in concentration and his tongue stuck out a little bit as he caught the tiny seeds. Keith took a mental snapshot of this moment to remember when he needed a pick-me-up.
“Alright, now just a little salt and pepper and we should be good to go.” Lance beamed at Keith and gave him a gentle peck on the lips.
Keith pulled out the bowls and utensils from their cabinet drawers while Lance continued to watch the pot. When he deemed the soup perfect, Lance took it off the heat and spooned generous portions into the bowls Keith handed to him. Sitting at their little island table, Keith took another generous inhale of the bowl and readied himself for a religious experience if this was what just smelling the soup was doing to him. Lance tapped his chopsticks against his bowl impatiently, waiting for Keith to take the first bite. Keith quickly put him out of his misery and drank a generous spoonful.
Keith was positive if there was a god, he resided in a bowl of Lance’s chicken soup.
Not stopping to even give Lance a simple nod of affirmation, Keith just continued shoveling soup into his mouth, which he figured was a compliment in and of itself. Lance chuckled and started eating too, the steam from the soup fogging up his glasses as he leaned over the bowl.
After a few more minutes of silent eating, Keith slowly remembered what it’s like to be a sane and polite human being.
He simply said, “It’s really good,” which was the understatement of the century.
“Yeah? I couldn’t tell from your extreme concentration,” Lance said with a grin. “I’m glad you like it.” He fished a chunk of yucca out of his soup, blew on it, and brought it to Keith’s lips.
“Uh.”
“Oh, come on. You’re sick at least let me feed you a bit, you monster.”
Keith had to smile at that and accepted the small gift. It burned his tongue a little, but the way Lance’s eyes crinkled as his face lit up made it worth it. Keith thought briefly, if shooting stars were people, Lance would be one.
“If we were doing this properly, you would be tucked into bed and I would be spooning you little mouthfuls of this, but since you can’t be a decent patient, I guess this is good enough,” Lance said as he lightly kicked his legs under the table, his white leggings making little swishing sounds as he did so.
Keith poked at his potatoes and offered, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to do it another time.” Lance turned to face Keith at this suggestion and gave him that special smile that made Keith’s chest tighten.
“It’s a date,” Lance said tenderly. Keith leaned into a kiss he knew was coming and was satisfied to feel Lance meet him halfway.
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The incredible healing powers of Mama Lance’s soup only lasted another two hours, so Keith gratefully took his sore ass body back to bed while Lance cleaned the kitchen. Lance had made enough soup to feed an army so when Keith got hungry again, they could just heat some up. As Keith crawled into bed, he heard Lance come in.
“Hey, before you knock out drink this.” In Lance’s hands was a mug which he deposited into Keith’s waiting hands. The cup heated his hands pleasantly and it smelled sweet.
“I’m guessing this is the boiled lemon juice,” Keith teased, earning him another one of Lance’s patents: his eye roll.
“Haha, very funny. It’s honey lemon tea. It’s good for sore throats. Drink it while it’s still hot.”
Keith gingerly brought the cup up to his lips and took a tentative sip. The tea was hot but not enough to burn. It tasted sweet but with just a hint of sourness to wake him up a bit. He felt the warm liquid trickle down his throat and as he swallowed another sip he felt his whole body begin to tingle with a sweet and gentle warmth. He greedily chugged the whole thing and set the cup down by the table, feeling satisfied but craving a little more.
“So I’m guessing you liked it?” Lance inquired with a smirk.
“Yeah. It was alright,” Keith responded. Using incredible understatements to describe Lance’s remedies was just a little bit fun.
“Mm, ok buddy. Whatever you say. Now let’s get to bed.” Lance made Keith scoot over and snuggled up next to him. Grateful for the weight of Lance’s arms around his waist, Keith leaned deeper into the embrace. It was only four o’clock and he knew Lance probably wasn’t tired, but the fact that his boyfriend was helping him get to sleep brought an uncontrollable smile to Keith’s lips.
“Hey, Lance.”
“Hm?”
“You can’t power off yet.” Lance opened his eyes and smirked at Keith.
“Oh yeah. Wait a second.” Lance cleared his throat and deadpanned, “Are you satisfied with your care?”
Keith took a minute before kissing Lance deeply.
Lance murmured, “I’ll take that as a yes,” into Keith’s insistent mouth and tenderly raked his fingers through Keith’s hair.
Moments later, as he felt Lance’s lips brush across his forehead with a murmured, “I love you,” Keith wondered how he got so lucky. The scent of cumin and bit of lemons was making its way to the back of his head and gently lulled him into a peaceful sleep. The last thought Keith had before exhaustion took him was that being with Lance was like chugging a mug of honey lemon tea: a full-body experience that started with a tingling in his throat, made its way to his stomach, and then trickled to the tips of his fingers and toes. It was soothing and comforting with just the right amount of zing.
Keith dreamed of golden shooting stars and groves of lemon trees.
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“So you know how they say that you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose? Does that mean Blue and I have like ultimate friendship now because it picked my—“
Keith groaned and put the spoon down. “Lance, can you shut up for a second and drink the soup. I don’t even understand how you’re talking so much when you sound like Darth Vader if he chain-smoked.” He picked up the spoon again and brought it to Lance’s lips.
“Right, right. My bad. I’m just saying. I think we have ultimate friendship now.” Lance tilted his head from the pillow and took the soup gratefully. “Man, I’m a great cook. Honestly, I should start my own blog. Do you think I could get another patent with this soup?”
Keith brought his hand to his face. “You are the worst patient ever.”