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“It’s growling at me?”
“That’s normal.” Ashe tries to lean over Dimitri’s shoulder to peer at his phone screen. Everything looks right - the resolution is good, the application runs smoothly, and there are no questionable ads burning the CPU in the background.
“And… I feed it?” Dimitri awkwardly thumbs at the black cat on his screen. The Tamanyan gives a distinct growl and Dimitri jumps, furrowing his brows together as though he’d done something incredibly damaging.
“You can do all sorts of things with it.” Ashe beamed. “You can compete against other pets in combat or in contests, you can feed it, you can brush it. And depending on how well you do, your pet might even turn into a catgirl.” Suddenly, Ashe is aware that he’s about to step into some very interesting territory. “Or a catboy. I’m not really sure why that would matter though.”
“I see.” Dimitri muses in his most even tone. “I can’t say I’d be interested in a young woman with cat ears…”
“It um, is definitely… a bit weird,” Ashe admits with a hint of relief. Talking to one of the most important people in their high school about catgirls felt all sorts of wrong. Sylvain likes to joke about Dimitri’s “purity” and Felix… well, Felix says all sorts of things about Dimitri, most of which are nonsensical or some sort of flowery poetry that would make a renaissance faire actor jealous.
“What are you doing?” They both look up to see Felix staring sourly at Dimitri’s phone. Ashe is by no means a master in translating Felix’s moods, but it can best be described as bothered.
“Oh, look Felix,” Dimitri holds his phone up to display the fuzzy digital kitten. “It’s a new game Ashe introduced me to. Would you like to try?”
Felix squints, somehow reminding Ashe of a bug. “Why would I want to play with a fake cat?”
“It’s a very popular app right now.” Ashe interjects as he moves to another spot on the lunch table so that Felix can sit closer to Dimitri. Felix always shoves more food on Dimitri’s tray and Dimitri hands Felix more napkins so it’s easier to simply not be in the way. Ashe wonders if that’s normal for childhood friends - Ashe’s siblings are certainly just as chaotic, he supposes. “Would you like for me to install it?”
Felix stares.
“Well, never mind.” Ashe laughs awkwardly and decides to change the subject to something else. “Are you excited about Game Night? I picked up Chaos and Caverns, 11th Edition, and there are brand new weapons that you’d be interested in.”
Felix perks up, as he always does when talking about sharp things.
“I’m looking forward to playing the Priestess.” Dimitri says offhandedly and, in his phone, there’s a short, annoyed meow. “Ah, hm. I suppose I should not have poked there.”
“And so… as you approach the altar, there is something very wrong with it,” Ashe narrates from his notes. “It seems like the eyes watch you, a feeling of malice forming around - “
Meow!
“What is that thing’s problem?!” Felix grumbles, glowering at Dimitri’s phone. They’re right in the middle of Game Night, huddled together in Ashe’s basement at an old poker table with dim lighting. It’s downright atmospheric… save for the cat meows and Sylvain’s odd choice of jazz music playing in the background.
Dimitri taps the screen three times. “I think I fed it wrong.”
“You fed it?!” Felix snatches the item away and begins jabbing at it all over with his thumb. “How do I turn it off? You’re supposed to be blessing my swords, you oaf.”
Ashe considers reminding Felix that blessing weapons is a level thirteen Priestess skill, and at most Dimitri could only manage a few healing spells.
“Awww, are you jealous Felix?” Sylvain coos to Ashe’s left.
“Shut up.” Felix shoves the phone back into Dimitri’s chest. “It’s not real. Can I start stabbing that monster already?”
“I have to inspect the altar first.” Sylvain wiggles his eyebrows. “Just in case.”
“You know this is an altar to an ancient witch of evil, right?” Ashe already knows the answer. “Six arms, head of a snake?”
“I can still seduce it.” Sylvain boasts.
The worst part is - he does. He always does. There are bonuses in dumping all your points into Charisma, Ashe admits. It just makes final battles difficult.
“Would you stop feeding that?” Felix grouses. “We’re doing a project right now.”
“I know.” Dimitri answers primly. His phone makes several agitated cat noises, not helped by Dimitri’s clumsy thumbs dropping the fish before his digital cat-friend has a chance to eat it. The noise is especially profane in the middle of an otherwise quiet library “But it’s so cute to watch Hugo’s little canines.”
“You named it Hugo?” Ashe asks and beside him, Felix makes some sort of squeak.
“After the legendary knight, of course.” Dimitri’s little avatar picks up a bright pink salmon and holds it out to Hugo who promptly chomps down on the tail. “See how it bites?”
Ashe doesn’t see.
Maybe it’s a cat owner thing. Ashe has only ever owned gerbils.
“You like it biting you?” Felix continues, yanking the phone away. “Are you that much into punishment?”
“Hm, it is a price I am willing to pay.” Dimitri answers mildly. “I seem to remember you bit me.”
“I was six.”
“Yes. I was there.” Dimitri turns his head, offering Ashe an odd smile. “Felix was quite a bitey child during one summer.”
“I should have done a better job ruining your ear.” Felix huffs as Ashe tries not to imagine what any of this means. Sylvain insists the best course of action is to simply nod along while thinking of pop music. Ashe doesn’t really like pop music. But he likes it more than imagining Feli as some kind of chomping maniac.
“So what are we doing about our project anyway?” Ashe tries to interject. “I thought it was supposed to be about Faerghus wildlife.”
“It is. I already selected a few choices. Perhaps we could even visit Dedue’s family? I know they run a rehabilitation center an hour away.”
There are a few deep yowls in Felix’s palm.
“Ah, Felix, it is Hugo’s grooming time.” Dimitri smoothly takes his phone back. “He gets very upset if I don’t brush him promptly every three hours.”
Felix makes a sound. Ashe thinks it’s Felix. It sounds very much like the cat.
One week later, his notebook full of facts about the Gautier Great Elk, there’s something… different. Both Dimitri and Felix are quiet and focused, even if Dimitri is -
Is he holding out a piece of jerky for Felix to chew on? Ashe squints, perplexed as indeed, Felix leans forward to snap off a bite of what appears to be plain brown dried meat Dimitri holds out. They’re both writing, and that’s good, and there aren’t any squeaks or meows or howls. They’re otherwise just normal, in a normal library table, but it’s still…
“Oh, hey Ashe!” Sylvain appears like magic behind Ashe, clapping his hand on Ashe’s shoulder in a good-natured greeting. “How’s the project going?”
“Oh, it’s good, although we’re about to all get together.” Ashe fumbles, noting that neither Felix or Dimitri are looking up at him yet. “Are they…?”
“They what?” Sylvain peers past Ashe and then shrugs. “You mean those two?”
“They seem a little distracted.” Ashe continues. It’s probably unfair to rely on Sylvain for cues about Dimitri and Felix, but Sylvain, along with Ingrid, seem to know them the best.
“Well, I think they talked about that cat or whatever.” Sylvain shrugs. “If it was anyone but Dimitri, I’d say it was all a plan to get Felix jealous.”
“Wait, what?” Of a pretend cat?
“He’d never do that, obviously.” Sylvain continues. “That’d be ridiculous.”
“Right…” Ashe clears his throat. He never had asked why Dimitri agreed to download the app. Or why he hadn’t adjusted the settings.
Did he know about adjusting the settings?
“And Felix wouldn’t get jealous… of a cat.” Sylvain winks. “Right?”
Ashe doesn’t know if he’s supposed to answer or not.