Chapter Text
“Palmer, what’re you doing?” Tony yelled from across the zoned-off crime scene. His face had that annoyed twist to it that said he had been waiting a little too long for something.
Palmer came out of the truck, the black body bag tucked under his arm as he struggled to get his left hand into one of the white latex gloves. “My gloves aren’t going on.” he grunted, pulling a little too hard and snapping the glove around the entrance.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Come on, Palmer. How long have you been an ME assistant?” He shook his head as the kid climbed back into the van and pulled out the box of gloves.
“Aren’t those Kate’s gloves?” McGee asked as Palmer climbed back out.
The young ME-to-be looked at the box and groaned. No wonder they weren’t fitting, they were a box of size small gloves. Tony snickered and Palmer crawled back into the truck, putting the box right where he’d found it and grabbing a pair from the box right next to it. This time, they actually went on his hands.
Tony started walking away, as McGee watched Palmer make his way back to the crime scene.
“Mister Palmer, it’s good to see you finally make an appearance.” Ducky said, looking up from where he’d already stuck a thermometer in the man’s kidney.
“Sorry, doctor. Didn’t think it’d take that long.” Palmer sat the body bag on the grass next to the man.
He looked to be late twenties, his hair shaved close to his scalp in regulation military style. He wore his Navy blues, two arrows on his collar, labeling him a Senior Petty Officer. It would have been damn-near a regular Marine funeral had it not been for the fact that the front of his suit was stained and looked almost purple from the large patch of dried blood. A hole tore the fabric apart on his left side, the bullet having left a sizeable hole as it took the man’s last breaths.
Ducky pulled the thermometer out once it beeped, reading it out loud. “Sixty-seven-point-twenty-eight. That means he’s been dead for--”
“About twelve hours.” Palmer finishes.
Ducky nodded and pulled over his clipboard, writing it down before handing it to his assistant. “Please take this to the truck. But do try to make it back quickly.”
“Yes’sir.” Palmer says, grabbing the papers and taking them, quickly, back to the van.
The case didn’t seem all that difficult, but the fact that they had a dead officer and little evidence meant that everyone was a little on edge. Hence, why Tony had been messing with him. And McGee. And Kate. But, hey, what else was new?
When everything finally seemed to be over, body in the back of the truck and agents zipping up the last of the evidence bags, Palmer let out a small sigh. He couldn’t wait to get out of the sun and away from the agitated agents. Ducky had even noticed they seemed to be in a bad mood.
Palmer was in the back of the truck, filling out a few of the worksheets so that they wouldn’t have to be done later when Tony walked up to him.
“What’s your waist size, Gremlin?” He asked, eyeing the younger man.
Palmer looked at him skeptically. “I hardly see how this relates to the case.”
“Oh, but it does.” Tony snickered. “Now spill, what is it? Thirty? Twenty eight?”
Palmer glared, but answered all the same. “Thirty.”
Tony nodded his head, thinking. “How wide are your shoulders?”
“Tony, whatever this is about--”
“About two feet, then, right?” Tony answered, cutting him off.
Palmer sighed and nodded.
“Great, come here.” Tony waved behind his head, leading the younger man to the other two agents.
“Will he fit?” Kate asked, looking up from her PDA.
“He should.” Tony said, closing the distance and standing next to her.
Palmer felt like he was a fish in a bowl with the way everyone was looking at him. “Guys--”
“Alright, here’s the sitch, Gremlin. There’s a pipe drain a little down the hill. It’s about two and a half feet across. There’s no way any of us can fit, but you may be able to.”
“Guys, I’m really not comfortable in small spaces.” Palmer said, taking a few steps back.
“Oh, come on, Palmer.” Kate said. “We won’t let anything happen, okay? We just need to make sure there’s nothing in there and you’re the only one who’ll fit.”
Palmer squirmed a little on the spot and wracked his brain for a way out of this, but found none that would keep him in the agent’s good graces. He sighed and nodded reluctantly. “Fine.”
Tony clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, Palmer! We got a flashlight for you right here. All you gotta do is get in there and look around.”
Palmer took the flashlight with a sigh. “Where is it?”
“Over here,” McGee said, pointing to the pipe opening.
They walked towards it as a group, but once they got within five feet of it, the three agents stopped and left Palmer to walk the remaining distance on his own.
The ME assistant looked over his shoulder at the three faces as he kneeled down next to the opening. “You sure that none of you fit? It might be bigger than it looks.”
“Trust me, it’s not.” Kate huffed, kind of mad she didn’t fit. Damn boobs.
Palmer nodded and crawled into the pipe, flashlight in his hand as he inched forward. Already, he felt like the walls were going to collapse if he breathed to hard. He swiped the flashlight’s beam across the pipe, but couldn’t see anything yet. He groaned miserably and crawled for another few experimental feet. The good news was that the top of the pipe held. The bad news was that he could barely move forward or backward without hitting one thing or another against the pipe.
Okay, keep calm… he thought to himself. Think about anything else. Animals, you like animals. You used to work with animals. What was that one appointment with the iguana about back in med school? Something about it swallowing a toy truck, wasn’t it?
It didn’t help a whole lot, and Palmer could feel his breathing shallow out, but it kept his mind off the nagging sensation that he was trapped.
“Good job, Palmer! You see anything?” A voice yelled from behind him. It sounded like Tony, but it could have been anyone at this point. His mind was racing too much to really take it into account. Was the pipe getting smaller?
“N-n-nothing!” Palmer stuttered back over his shoulder. “Wa-wait...there’s something shiny reflecting off the flashlight a few feet away! I’ll see if I can reach it…”
He pulled the hand not holding the flashlight out from under him with a grunt, reaching forward as he let his feet pedal to move him forward. Just as he was about to give up, his fingertips grazed something cool. He pushed forward a little more until his hand could wrap around the handle of a gun.
“I got a gun!” Palmer shouted. He could hear the words as they echoed down the pipe and to the agents.
“Good job! Now come on out so we can head back!” That was definitely a girl’s voice. So Kate was still there.
Palmer nodded and let out a breath. “Right. I got in, so I can get out…” he muttered to himself.
He started to move backward as best he could with both the flashlight and the gun, when he felt his pants snag on something. He let go of the flashlight to try and get whatever was stuck to his pants off, when his hand came into contact with something small, furry, and angry. He squeaked in surprise and felt something bite into his leg. He cried out, and tried to hit it with his knee, unsuccessfully. Now the pipe really felt too small and he couldn’t see what was attacking him. He could tell he was in huge trouble.
“Guys! There’s something living in here, and it isn’t me!” Palmer shouted out to the agents. He wiggled side to side to try and move back, but it just wasn’t working. He was stuck. Stuck in a small place with no flashlight and his leg hurt and it was small and cold as sweat formed from his struggle.
Now he was in for it. Not only could he not get out, he could feel little Jimmy panicking and trying to yell for help. If the team found out about this, he’d be a complete laughing stock! He tried to push the mind set away right as a large hand wrapped around his ankle, making him scream as it yanked on his leg. Suddenly, he was moving out of the pipe, gun still in hand, and a very angry raccoon was hissing at him from inside the pipe. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. Now he needed a rabies shot.
“Palmer, you okay, man?” McGee asked, holding out his hand to help the younger man up.
“Of course he’s okay, McGoo. He’s Palmer.” Tony said, slapping his shoulder. “Good job, gremlin.”
Palmer nailed him with a questioning look before Kate put a bag under his hand and told him to drop the gun. “That should make Gibbs a little happier.” she said, smiling at Palmer before walking off, the other agents following.
It was only a few minutes after the team left that Palmer realized he had to get back to the van as well, and tell Ducky what had happened. Man, Jimmy was closer to the front of his mind than he had first thought. And the shot wasn’t going to help any. He trudged back to the van where Ducky was waiting impatiently.
“Come on, Mister Palmer! The body won’t autopsy itself, you know!” Ducky exclaimed.
“Yes’sir!” Palmer said, walking a little faster now, though with a limp as his leg throbbed.
When he jumped into the van, he turned to Ducky. “We’ll need to use the rabies vaccine we have back at autopsy,” he sighed.
Ducky winced in sympathy and started the van up. “All right, let’s be quick on the way back. The sooner you get that shot, the better.”
Palmer swallowed the growing lump in his throat. The ride back was far too short for his liking, and soon they were in autopsy laying the latest body on one of the tables. Palmer hopped up on one of the empty ones, rolling up his shirt sleeve and closed his eyes in anticipation of the needle. This was going to hurt. He never understood why they said it didn’t.
Ducky came up to the table Palmer was sitting on, needle poised in his fingers. He took an antiseptic wipe and used it to clean up the area he’d be sticking the needle in, and Palmer made the mistake of opening his eyes. He did turn an interesting shade of green, though. Ducky stuck the needle into Palmer’s arm and squeezed the plunger in one fluid motion, and Jimmy took over, bursting into hysteric tears.
"Now, really, Mister Palmer, it was just one shot, there's really no need for--oh." Ducky didn’t get to finish his thought before Jimmy had a growing dark spot on his jeans from pure fear.
Jimmy just couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been shoved in a small hole, bitten by a wild animal, picked on by the agents, stabbed by his friend, and now he was totally soaked. This was just the final straw.
“I-I-I w-wanna g-go ‘ome!” he wailed. “P-p’ease, I wanna go ‘ome!”
Ducky sat the syringe aside and pulled Jimmy into a hug, wrapping his arms around the young boy. “What’s all this about, now, huh?” he asked. “What has you so worked up, lad?”
Jimmy leaned into the embrace, burying his head into Ducky’s shoulder and he shook it. He was too caught up in crying to talk.
“That’s all right, lad. I can help with a few things, I think,” Ducky said. “There’s a spare set of clothes in your locker which you can change into from earlier, right? From before we went out to the scene. I’m not sure we have any nappies, however.”
“K-keep some under m-my clothes,” Jimmy muttered, embarrassed.
“Well, then it appears that we have the solution to that problem,” Ducky said. “One less thing to cry about, yes? If you need to, I’m sure we can take the rest of the day off. I’ll call in an old friend who owes me a favor, and you can stay at my house until you feel better.”
Jimmy nodded and Ducky clucked his tongue. “You worked yourself up, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Mm-hm,” Jimmy hummed with a nod. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses. Nothing seemed more appealing to him right now than a nap.
“Now, I do have to let Abigail know that we won’t be here this afternoon, but that shouldn’t be a problem,” Ducky explained. “First, let’s get you changed.”
Jimmy nodded, wiping his nose with his hand and pushing off the table, onto the floor. Ducky tutted at the small puddle he left behind. “We’ll have to clean that up before we go. But we can save the boring stuff until later.”
Ducky took the boy’s hand, leading him to the small room where they kept their personal things. There were several lockers in the room but only two of them were in use. The older man opened Jimmy’s locker, rooting through it for a second before he pulled out everything he needed for a diaper change.
Had Jimmy been Palmer, he would have questioned the fact that Ducky seemed to know exactly what to do without being told or asking. How he could go through the motions of putting a diaper on an adult without so much as a flinch. But he wasn’t Palmer. Instead, he was Jimmy, a little boy that wanted nothing more than to be dry once more and take a nap.
When Jimmy was dry again, he looked in his locker and reached under his clothes before his hand wrapped around cold plastic, and he triumphantly pulled out a set of plastic keys on a ring.
“Oh, aren’t those just the cutest.” Ducky said playfully. He had already managed to call his friend and she was on her way now.
Jimmy shook them and gave a small grin at the noise they made. “I got them all by myself,” he said proudly.
“That’s very impressive.” Ducky said, picking up his phone so he could call down to the lab and inform Abby he wouldn’t be here much longer.
When Abby picked up the line, Ducky quickly and quietly explained the basics of what happened and how he would be going home. Abby offered to come with them to make sure Palmer was okay, but Ducky assured her he would be fine for now on his own. If she wanted to come over after work, she could, but she shouldn’t skip out on her job if she was capable of doing it. He said the last part sternly in his best fatherly tone, to make sure he got the point across.
Abby replied that it wouldn’t be a problem, and Ducky hung up. “Now, then, lad. Miss Abigail has been informed about our whereabouts, so I think now would be a good time to go home.”
“Home?” Jimmy asked uncertainly, shaking the keys and focusing on the moving colors and clacking sound they made.
“Well, my home at any rate. Don’t worry, Mother had to be moved into a nursing home because I couldn’t take care of her during the day. Meaning no one will bother you except me and anyone we might invite over,” Ducky explained.
Jimmy nodded, relieved that he wouldn’t be given strange looks. He hated when he got those. It made his stomach twist funny and he would feel sick. If that wasn’t going to be a problem, then he would be fine.
Once the sub ME got there and was given a quick run through of the case, Ducky grabbed Jimmy’s hand and led him to the elevator outside autopsy, heading to the ground floor. He walked Jimmy past the security guards without so much as a second glance, but paused in the parking lot when it occurred to him that he didn’t have any supplies to take care of a boy this young. But Gibbs might.
“Jimmy?” Ducky prompted the younger man.
Jimmy looked over, pausing in his playing with the keys. “Yeah?”
“Would it be alright if I made a phone call to Agent Gibbs and asked some advice of him? I wouldn’t tell him about you if you don’t want me to, but I want his opinion on a rather important question,” Ducky requested.
Jimmy focused on the keys in his hand. He didn’t want Gibbs to know what had happened to him, because he would almost certainly figure it out. But at the same time, if Ducky needed urgent advice then he shouldn’t be the one to stop an adult. He bit his lip and nodded. “Okay. But don’ tell him ‘bout me.”
Ducky nodded and patted Jimmy on the arm. “Thank you, lad. I won’t. My car is just over here, come on.”
Fingers flying across the keypad, Ducky called Gibbs and willed the man to pick up faster. “Yeah, Duck?” a voice finally asked from the other end.
Ducky sighed. “Jethro, I need your advice. I seem to have come across another little, about T-O-N-Y’s age. But I don’t have the first thing at my house to take care of him, and don’t even know where I would start! Anything I should pick up before I get him somewhere away from prying eyes?”
“First things first, Duck. Make sure he has some…” The sound of the man closing a door resonated through the receiver and his voice lowered a small amount. “Protection on.”
“I learned that one the hard way, I’m afraid,” Ducky said, tutting and starting to walk with Jimmy again. “He has some now, but not enough to last a long while, and I don’t know what he has in the way of preparations.”
“Ask him about that first, he might have something. If not, go to the nearest pharmacy and go to the incontinence aisle. And make sure Palmer at least looks like an adult to the rest of the world if you bring him in with you for measurements,” Gibbs instructed.
Ducky sniffed once in a small laugh. “He won’t be pleased that you figured out it was him.”
“Who else would you honestly discover is a little, and a man, who is still alive while you’re down in autopsy?” Gibbs scoffed. “I can come over after work to help, if you want. And Tony would probably enjoy a playmate.”
“I’m not sure,” Ducky said, pulling his keys out of his pocket and sending a glance over to Jimmy, who didn’t seem to be paying attention to anything. “I don’t think he wants anyone to know.”
There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “Just like Tony,” Gibbs muttered. “Look, Duck, Abby is talking about coming over to your house tonight. Someone is going to find out about him, and he’s going to find out about you two. Might as well let him know the whole family. It’s not like he would tattle.”
Ducky opened the car doors and let Jimmy inside, strapping the boy in and closing it before opening the driver’s door and getting inside himself. “That is true. I’ll talk about it with him, at least to warn him ahead of time. I doubt he’ll be eager to see everyone in this state, but if someone explains it to him, he would at least feel less anxious about it.”
“Alright, keep me posted, Duck. I’m sure the kids would love a new cousin.” Gibbs said, waiting for Ducky’s send off before hitting the end-call button.
Ducky slipped his phone back into his pocket, checking in the rearview mirror at his newest ward before he backed the car up and drove out of the parking garage. Ducky made sure to drive carefully, after all, he had a young one to be careful for in the backseat. The boy in question was quickly dozing off in the backseat, his eyelids drooping before he’d sit ramrod straight for a few seconds, his eyes alert, and then he’d start to drift off again.
Smiling to himself, Ducky hopped onto the interstate for the short drive back to his house. When he pulled into the driveway, Jimmy was fully asleep and leaning against the car door, so Ducky couldn’t open it without risk of Jimmy falling out. That was not how he wanted to wake the young one up.
“Jimmy? Jimmy, my dear boy, we’re at my house. Wake up, lad,” Ducky coaxed.
“Hmmm?” Jimmy asked, stretching and yawning. He cracked his eyes open to the new surroundings, recognizing the house outside his window before he looked over to the older man in the front seat.
“What do you say we get you inside, hm?” Ducky smiled at him. When the boy nodded his head, Ducky opened the car door and walked over to Jimmy’s door, taking care to open it slowly.
Jimmy stepped out, grabbing his toy keys. Ducky realized he completely forgot to get some extra diapers for Jimmy, and he almost swore before remembering his company. “Let’s go inside, lad. I might need to go out and get you some extra nappies soon, but I want to get you used to my house first.”
“Mmm…‘kay,” Jimmy mumbled, as he let himself be led inside the house.
Immediately, Jimmy was hit with the smell of old books and furniture mixed with some kind of spice--cinnamon maybe? It smelled just like Ducky, himself. The whole house seemed to be decorated in older-style furniture, but without looking like they’d stepped back in time a hundred years.
“Since mother left, I’ve been able to update the house a little. Be more suited to, well, you’ll know soon enough.” Ducky said, leading the boy into the kitchen.
Jimmy sat down on a chair situated at the counter in the middle of the room, putting his keys on the table. It made an interesting noise, so he dropped them on the table to see how it would sound, and then slammed them on the counter. That was the noise he found the funniest, so he banged the keys against the counter a few times more.
Ducky held his hand between the keys and the counter, stopping the sound. “All right, lad, that’s quite enough.”
Jimmy looked up at the older man, eyes heating up quickly as they started to gloss over. He just wanted to play! “S-s-sorry...I won’ be such a baby ‘gain,” Jimmy whimpered, dropping the plastic keys onto the counter and pulling his hands into his lap.
Ducky was alarmed at this sudden change in behavior to say the least. “You’re not in trouble, lad. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself or the counter.”
Jimmy fiddled with his fingers in his lap for a few seconds, before he glanced longingly at the keys.
Duck picked them up, holding them out to the boy. “Go on. These are yours, yes?”
Jimmy looked up questioningly, before reaching a hand out and taking the keys back. He shook them once, twice, and looked up at Ducky questioningly. When he didn’t get a negative response, he gave them a harder shake and giggled. Some of the keys did little flips around the key ring, which he loved to watch. He shook them again, before sticking the ring in his mouth and beginning to chew on the toy.
Duck smiled, nodding his head in approval before he turned around, looking for something that might keep the boy occupied for a while. Just until he could get his hands on a few diapers. He knew Jimmy liked the keys, but one toy would only keep a child tame for so long. He thought to what toys Abby had that she wasn’t as attached to and would be safe for Jimmy.
He realized she had a baby doll that she frequently let Tony play with, and it often got chew marks and saliva on it, so what was one more mouth? Now, where did she put it last?
Jimmy watched as Ducky ascended a flight of stairs, eyes following until the older man was out of sight. He knew he should stay where he was, but there were so many cool things in this house! He’d never noticed before, but everything looked like something he could play with. He dropped his feet to the floor and walked into the living room, sitting down in front of one of the large bookcases and pulling one of the books off.
Hey. That was kind of fun.
He pulled off another, giggling as the books hit the ground with a loud thud. Jimmy enjoyed each book’s sound, the bigger ones making the loudest noises, as he pulled each book from the shelves he could reach whilst still sitting on the floor. He was just moving to stand on his knees and reach a higher shelf when a shout boomed around behind him.
“James Palmer!” Ducky yelled, appalled at the boy’s behavior. “What in the world are you doing?!”
Jimmy fell back onto his butt, the boisterous voice making his eyes gloss over once more. He looked around the floor at the many books flung open and bent from other books landing on their pages, each second making it harder to see clearly.
He looked back up at Ducky innocently, pointing at the books. “Fun sound,” he said weakly.
Ducky just stared at him, trying to control his anger. Many of those books were first editions and signed copies.
Jimmy bit his lip and decided that if he was in trouble, he might as well be in it for a good reason. “I was havin’ fun,” he defended.
Ducky closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “James Palmer, come over here this instant.”
Jimmy realized this was his chance to stand his ground, and crossed his arms, shaking his head. He still couldn’t see clearly and his breathing was going funny again, but he ignored this in favor of the man standing behind him.
Ducky’s eyes sparked with anger. Face in a firm scowl and voice barely under a yell, he asked, “What did you just say?”
“I...I said no,” Jimmy asserted.
Ducky had to bite back a growl as he walked over and forced Jimmy to stand. “When I tell you to come over here, I expect you to listen to me, young man. Understood?”
Jimmy swallowed, but scowled. His silence spoke volumes, and he figured it was less babyish than bursting into tears.
Ducky kept a firm grip on Jimmy’s arm as he dragged him back into the kitchen. Jimmy realized then he might have made a big mistake. The kitchen was where the wooden spoons and metal spatulas and so many other hard objects perfect for a spanking were kept.
He tried to squirm away, but Ducky’s grip was firm on his arm, letting him move around but not break free. “I-I-I’m s-so s-s-sorry, p’ease don’ hu-hurt me…” Jimmy pleaded desperately, stopping his squirming in favor of begging.
Ducky looked at the boy who was little more than a pleading bag of tears with large tear drops falling down his face and soaking the hem of his shirt. “My dear boy, what are you going on about?”
Jimmy squirmed on the spot, wondering if he had shared too much. “J-J-Joe tells R-Rebecca if I-I’ve been...been na-naughty and she’ll...she’ll…” his breathing kicked into high gear. “She’ll get the spoon, or the spatula, or worse!”
Ducky frowned. He had looked at Jimmy’s file; his parents names weren’t Joe or Rebecca, and he was an only child. “Who’re Joe and Rebecca, lad?”
“M-my f-f-foster parents,” Jimmy sobbed, voice breaking on the last word. He reached up to wipe at his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was crying and failing miserably.
Ducky sucked in a breath through his teeth. On one hand, Jimmy definitely needed to be punished. On the other, this startling news made the older man want nothing more than to pick the boy up and whisk him away from the dangers of the world.
Seeing as neither looked like they would be possible (any punishment would lose it’s lesson in the boy’s state), Ducky settled on wrapping his arms around the boy’s torso and hugged him tightly. “What do you say we find you a coloring book, lad?” Ducky figured he could pick up the books himself, and he doubted most of them were seriously damaged, since the fall had been all of two feet. In the meantime, calming Jimmy down took precedence.
Jimmy looked at the older man in shock. “I’m not in trouble?”
“Oh, you are very much in trouble,” Ducky corrected. “But I need you calm before we do anything about it.”
Jimmy looked at the man like he’d just grown a second head.
“We’ll talk about what you’re going to do to make it up to me in a bit. So, how about a little coloring now?” Ducky stood, taking the boy’s weight with him as he walked towards the office where he kept a few coloring books and crayons for when Abby wanted to be with him while he was working.
Jimmy followed obediently, even when Ducky took him back to the living room and sat him on one of the overstuffed couches. Ducky pointed a finger at him. “You, young man, are to stay put. If you need anything at all, you let me know first. Are we clear?”
Jimmy nodded his head as Ducky walked back into the kitchen. He looked at the coloring book in front of him, a princess of some sort smiling back at him widely. The boy let out a sigh and pulled the book closer before picking a random page and a blue crayon and getting to work.