Chapter Text
Bruce languidly stretched out on the couch, hearing his poor spine crackle with the movement. It wasn’t that Bruce was against relaxing, it was just that he simply never had the time. There was always an emergency, case files to analyse, Wayne Enterprises documents to sign, children barging into the room. But here he was, 7pm on a Thursday night and simply existing. He was sprawled out on his stomach, paperback book propped up in front of him and a heating pad pressed against his back, and he was relaxing.
There was a loud thud from upstairs.
Bruce eyes flickered away from his book and towards the ceiling, waiting for the inevitable raised voices of whichever of his children had decided to argue, but it never came.
“Is everyone alright?” Bruce shouted, unwilling to get off of the couch unless he had to, but unable to relax until he knew all the children were alive.
A chorus of confirmations shouted back down, and Bruce mentally tallied them. Dick, Jason, Cass, Tim, Damian. All accounted for.
Bruce settled back into his book.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Bruce’s eyes narrowed. What the hell were they doing up there?
“Boys?” He shouted again.
“Everything is fine!” Dick quickly shouted back.
Bruce weighed up how much he trusted Dick versus his desire to go upstairs and investigate for himself. He decided to trust his eldest son, and tried to focus on the warmth from the heating pad soothing his back rather than the monsters upstairs fraying his nerves. If there was a scream, then he would move.
In fact, Bruce managed to read an entire chapter of his book before a figure appeared in the doorway.
“Bruce…” Tim began, meekly trailing off and his eyes skittering to the floor.
Bruce dogeared his page and threw the book onto the coffee table, accepting his fate and lifting his head to look at his son.
“So you know how I have that open book chemistry test tomorrow?” Tim continued, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“Yes.” Bruce replied, dreading what his sons next words would be.
“I’ve sorta…lost my chemistry book.”
“You’ve lost your chemistry book.” Bruce repeated, keeping his voice level even as Tim cringed.
“I swear it was in my room but we’ve all just torn my room to shreds looking for it and it’s not there! I don’t know what to do, I’m gonna fail chemistry!” Tim wailed, his dark hair standing on end from where he’d ran his hands through it in distress.
“All of you?”
“Yeah. Dick, Cass, even Jason and Damian. It’s not in my room and Damian swears he didn’t take it either.”
Well, Bruce was pleased to hear that his children were all getting along, even if it was to destroy Tim’s room.
“If I get off this couch and find the book in your room you all owe me an hour of uninterrupted peace.” Bruce muttered, already moving.
He trudged up the stairs, immediately missing the relief of the heat pad against his back. God, he was old. Marching onwards, he entered Tim’s room and took in the destruction. It looked like a Tasmanian devil had run through the room followed by a hurricane and an earthquake. Every drawer was open, clothing spilling out in utter disarray. Tim’s closet was wide open, everything pulled off the shelves, and not a singular drawer from Tim’s desk remained in its place, yanked out, raided, and dumped unceremoniously on the floor.
Bruce stood, hands on hips, thinking. When had he last seen Tim with his chemistry book? Last night, definitely, he remembered telling Tim to finish studying and get a healthy amount of sleep. Tim had been sat up in bed with strained, red eyes, his books surrounding him on the sheets. Bruce smacked the bedsheets. Nothing. He smacked the pillows.
Bingo.
Reaching inside Tim’s pillowcase, Bruce retrieved the lost book, the front page wrinkled from a night if being slept on. Bruce loved all his children, they were the smartest people he knew, but honestly, not one of them thought to check the pillows?
Bruce rolled his eyes and left Tim’s room, coming face to face with Dick who stared at the book in his hand like it was a mythical object.
“How? Genuinely how?” Dick asked, gobsmacked.
“It was on his bed.”
“No the fuck it wasn’t!” Jason chimed in from around the corner. “We checked the bed!”
“Clearly leaving you in charge of checking the bed was a mistake, Todd.” Damian sniped, emerging from his room.
“Dick checked the bed too.” Came Cass’ voice as she joined them for their seemingly impromptu family meeting outside of Tim’s bedroom.
“What!” Tim shouted before his footsteps could be heard barrelling up the stairs. “How did you find it?”
“I used my eyes.” Bruce remarked dryly, handing over the book.
“Nah, he used his secret mom powers.” Dick smirked.
“My what?” Bruce said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the smiling face of his eldest.
“Mom powers. You know, the ones that let you find anything their kid has lost in five minutes, even if it’s left the universe.” Dick explained, emboldened as the rest of his siblings laughed. Even Damian was smiling.
Bruce pressed his hand against his forehead and sighed.
“My one hour of uninterrupted peace for finding that notebook starts now.”
Wearily, Bruce trudged back down the stairs to reunite with his beloved couch and loyal heat pad, resolutely ignoring the variations of ‘sure, Mom,’ from his evil children.