Chapter Text
Life has been hard for Vanessa these past weeks, to say the least.
Honestly, there wasn’t a time where life hadn’t been hard for her, or at least she doesn’t remember it. Surely, she had endured much harder periods. However, now, she feels like the universe made her its number one enemy.
Throughout her entire existence, she never really had a friend.
A true friend that she could talk to, not one that her father made her befriend for his twisted plans.
There was Charlotte, of course. They were naturally close since their fathers were business partners, though, everyone knows how that ended.
Since then, Vanessa has sworn to never get close to anyone again, knowing that her father would put an end to it one way or another. Slowly, she had come to terms with the fact that the day she was born into the Afton family, she became a prisoner sentenced to life.
The only thing left; waiting for the freeing hands of death itself.
The day her father forced asked her to get close and keep an eye on the new night guard he hired, she agreed, like always. Although, in her defense, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice in the first place.
It wasn’t like she ever had a choice.
“If he gets too close, kill him.”
She recalls his ruthless words when he came to “check on her at work,” to make sure that she hadn’t done something against his orders.
Never has she killed a person at her father’s request, but she’s ashamed, ashamed to admit that she was willing to in the first place.
When she met Mike for the first time, she was willing to fulfill her father’s request.
When she was patching up his wrist, she was willing to fulfill her father’s request.
When she activated the animatronic show and asked him to dance, she was willing to fulfill her father’s request.
But when they sat by the river, just talking, she has started to doubt her willingness to fulfill her father’s request.
And when she built a fort with Mike, Abby, and the animatronics, she knew that she didn’t have it in her heart to fulfill her father’s request.
So she warned him.
A little drastic, she can admit that, but it was only for their own good.
She knew that she shouldn’t have done that.
That she shouldn’t have disobeyed her father.
But still, a part of her naively believed, a part of her hoped, that he would forgive her. That he would forgive her and life could just continue as normal, without any death by her hands.
However, those hopes dissolved like all the lifeless bodies her father left behind as she felt the sharp knife in her gut.
At the last second, before her eyes closed, she didn’t feel the satisfaction of freedom from the prison she had known her whole life.
No.
Instead what she felt was fear.
Fear for Mike and Abby’s life.
Her eyes then proceeded to close, thanks to her own father, and there was no way for her to save Mike and Abby.
Yet again, it was all her fault.
Just like it was with Charlotte.
To her surprise, she did open her eyes again, recognizing the hospital ceiling from her childhood. Mike was just about to leave, but upon seeing her wake up, he stayed.
They talked. Her brain cannot recall exactly what about, but it wasn’t important in the first place. What was important was that they just talked.
It didn’t end there. Once she was discharged and home, he’d call.
There was a person that would call her every day, checking on her and talking to her, exactly like a friend would.
After all, they were friends.
And maybe even something more. Neither of them were really sure, it was something for them to figure out.
Though now, it has all come to an end.
All because of her, yet again.
“Stay out of our lives.”
His echo in her mind hurt more than the knife her father stabbed her with.
Life had done it once again; given her a friend only to rip them away.
For a minute, she actually thought there was someone she could rely on. Someone who listened to her, wanted to know her, someone who maybe felt the same way towards her.
So now, it felt like the universe had shot a bullet into her, then given her a glimpse of home, picking her up and helping her heal bit by bit, only to shoot her once again in the same wound, and while she’s trying to survive, dragging herself on the ground in pain, life keeps kicking her.
And it doesn’t plan to stop. Never. It’s enjoying the sight; laughing at how helpless she is, at the fact that she was stupid enough to think that something good would last in her life.
To believe that, after her father’s death, she could finally live a normal life, one where she could be genuinely happy.
The worst part of all, is the fact that Vanessa understands why Mike doesn’t want her in his life anymore.
After all, the only thing she caused for others was an agonizing pain.
And now, what she deserved had caught up to her.
Mike and Abby leaving her life was just part of her suffering.
Every single day she’s bound to live, she will be reminded of all her sins . . .
* * *
“You look terrible.”
Each morning, she wakes up to the face of her 12 year old friend.
“Thanks Charlotte.” Vanessa deserves it.
At first, Charlotte was possessing her. Luckily, she could only do so at nighttime and she hadn’t manage hurt anyone while in Vanessa’s body which Vanessa could not be more grateful for.
The things she had already caused on her own were horrible.
However, in the past few weeks, Vanessa noticed that Charlotte completely stopped possessing her. She didn’t question it at first, just enjoying it while it lasted rather than reminding her about it.
Later, though, curiosity got the better of her and she ended up asking Charlotte about it.
“You’re too weak, I wouldn’t get anything done through you.” Such mysterious words left her and she refused to elaborate further when Vanessa questioned her, clearly wanting her to suffer more.
Although, Vanessa did feel weaker, both physically and mentally.
“You’re welcome.” A smug look appeared on the ghost's face as she hovered closer to Vanessa. It’s pretty much what she did these days; having a kick from annoying her.
Vanessa’s hands open the fridge. Unlike other mornings, she did feel a bit hungry today. The next thing Charlotte hears is a sigh coming from Vanessa.
“What is it?” Charlotte’s eyes look in the same way Vanessa’s are currently.
“I’ll have to go grocery shopping today,” Vanessa answers her. There’s barely anything there, just a carton of milk most probably expired, some tomatoes, and orange juice.
“This will have to do for now,” she mutters to herself, taking out the orange juice.
“Wasn’t the fridge like this yesterday? And also the day before?” A chuckle escapes Charlotte, taking joy in Vanessa’s cluelessness.
One of Vanessa’s bad traits has to be not taking nearly good enough care of herself.
She’s always quick to scold someone who does the same, but ignores it when she does. After all, she does deserve it.
“Good thing you don’t work then, we’ll be able to go right away.” Charlotte’s body flies away through the wall, finding amusement in Vanessa’s patheticness.
A sigh comes out of Vanessa, and with it a sudden dizziness surfaces. Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath, trying to calm her spinning head, but it’s not going away, so Vanessa resolves to sitting on the ground and waiting it out there.
God she hates these.
* * *
“Uhhhh! Vanessa! Vanessa! Take these!” At the sound of Charlotte's voice, Vanessa sighs. Every time she tags along for grocery shopping with her, the headaches tend to grow even worse.
It never fails to amaze her how childish Charlotte is. It’s almost strange for her, thinking about how they’re supposed to be the same age, and yet one of them is still twelve.
She’ll be twelve forever.
All because of her.
“Vanessaaaaaa!” Vanessa’s eyes register the ghost right in front of her face, wiggling some kind of package of candy. As much of a scary ghost as she is, it’s refreshing to see this childlike side of her.
As enigmatic as it might sound, Vanessa finds herself being jealous of Charlotte sometimes.
It’s wrong, she knows. God, it’s complicated, so complicated. Adulthood is so complicated. Her whole family is so complicated. Relationships are so complicated.
Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?!
Vanessa is still deep in thought when she feels a faint, sudden weight on her back. Her legs slightly stumble forward, barely keeping her balance. There is someone behind her, not very tall, with their hands wrapped around her stomach.
Is it Charlotte?
No, she’s a ghost. Ghosts can't do that Vanessa, remember?
They are talking to her, she can register the voice, but can only make out muffled noises.
Focus Vanessa!
Her brain is picking up its pace, steadily starting to register everything happening around her again. The fuzziness is leaving. Funny, she didn’t even realize that it came in the first place.
“I thought I’d never see you again!”
The voice is much clearer now. Vanessa knows exactly who it belongs to.
Her body shifts in the girl's hands, trying to break out of her embrace. She wants to see her face to be positive, though she’s more than sure who it is. The girl's embrace only tightens; she’s not letting Vanessa go that easily.
“Abby…” Abby’s hands aren’t freeing her from her tight hug. The only thing Vanessa’s achieving so far is earning giggles from her.
“Abby come on.” At these words she finally loosens her hands, letting Vanessa get a look at her face. There’s a big smile plastered on there like most of the time.
She must have missed her.
That thought alone makes Vanessa’s heart ache. She wants to hang out with Abby just as much as she does. Their weekly phone calls are greatly missed and just wondering how Abby is doing at school sometimes keeps her up at night.
“How are you doing?” Abby’s smile turns downward, getting replaced by a look of concern instead. “Why are you so pale? Are you sick Vanessa?” She questions, noticing Vanessa’s faintness right away.
“No,” Vanessa shakes her head, “I’m okay.”
There’s no need to concern Abby with this. The last thing she needs is to make Abby worry about her. Abby needs to be safe, and she would be anything but that with her.
There’s no need to concern anyone with this.
“Are you sure?” Abby’s a smart girl, smarter than most children her age, so it looks like just “I’m okay” won’t cut it.
“Just a little tired, that’s all.” Vanessa gives her a light smile in hopes that it’ll help to reassure her more. After all, that’s what it is, just tiredness, nothing more.
The concern doesn’t leave Abby’s eyes, but at least Vanessa gets the chance to fully leave her embrace. It’s now that she registers Charlotte once again, and the lack of distance between her and Abby sends a shiver down Vanessa’s spine.
Something seems off about the way that Charlotte smiles at Abby. It has already happened once, Charlotte possessing her, but she can’t possess her now when she is bound to Vanessa. There can’t possibly be a way she could do that, can there?
Those questions are the last thing she wants to learn the answer to today. Mike’s words play in her mind once more, only reminding her why he made this decision. Abby should not be anywhere near her, and now with Charlotte here, that couldn’t be more true.
“Abby, where is Mike?” Vanessa’s hands place themselves on Abby’s arms in an effort to chase Charlotte away from her. Her eyes roam throughout the aisle, but no signs of Mike.
“I don’t know, as soon as I saw you I had to run after you.” Abby answered without a hint of guilt or care that her brother must be looking for her like crazy at this point.
Vanessa’s eyes start wandering off even more, becoming increasingly nervous with each passing second. Her body feels more uneasy than normal knowing that Charlotte is here. Shit, what is she supposed to do now?
“Did you follow me into the store?” As she’s asking this, her gaze is piercing through Charlotte, checking to make sure that she won’t try anything.
“No, we were shopping when I saw you.” Phew, at least it’s not as bad as Vanessa thought. Mike will surely reunite with his sister in the next few minutes. If she leaves her there, it won’t really be dangerous. He’ll find her soon.
“Okay,” she whispers to herself, “it was nice talking to you but I have to go now.” Vanessa’s body turns its back on Abby, grabbing the not yet half-full shopping cart. “Just wait here and I’m sure that Mike will find you any time now.”
Her legs move forward as she says her goodbye. As much as her heart wants to talk with Abby more, her brain tells her not to. This might be the last time she ever sees her. Just the thought of that brings tears to her eyes.
The possibility of waiting with Abby for Mike here crossed her mind, but swiftly left, coming back to her senses. Maybe they could talk it out and she could return into their lives, but that was highly unlikely.
They’ve been through a lot and it’s all her fault.
As she gets further from Abby, her hands reach into her jean pocket, taking out the grocery list she’s made for herself.
Fish.
Okay, the freezer section it is.
Her legs are making their way through the cold aisles filled with various frozen products. It’s so icy here, Vanessa can feel herself shiver a little.
Ice, that sounds delicious. Maybe she has some in her freezer at home . . .
With each step she takes, she can feel the dizziness gradually taking over her once again, making its grand return. It starts to become unbearable so she stops in her steps.
Her chest rises up as she takes a deep breath, calming the uncomfortable feeling that has spread throughout her entire body. Her hands grip the shopping cart in hopes of helping her preserve balance.
“You don’t seem okay.” At the noise of Abby’s voice, Vanessa almost jumps. Of course she wouldn’t listen to her, when Abby sets her mind on something she’ll do it. Especially when it comes to her friends.
“Abby, I told you to wait for Mike there, now you’re going to get more lost.” A large sigh leaves Vanessa. Her thumb and index finger squish the bridge of her nose, showing the small frustration with Abby, but also trying to calm her headache in a way that doesn’t seem obvious.
“Why aren’t you talking to us anymore?”
And here it goes. As expected, Abby has a lot of questions about Vanessa’s lack of presence in their lives, because, of course Mike has to be shit at explaining important things to his little sister.
Was Vanessa really an important part of their life though?
There was nothing good she brought them, they would be much better off if it wasn’t for her.
Mike had every right to cut her off, he’s just being a reasonable person for once.
“It’s better this way Abby. You will both be safer this way, with no more dead children or animatronics to think about.” Vanessa steals a quick glance at Charlotte, before her eyes wander back to Abby. “Didn’t Mike talk to you about it?”
Abby rolled her eyes to the ceiling, evidently not putting much importance into Vanessa’s words. It reminded her of the time when she did that to her parents when puberty first hit. One time, and she quickly learned her lesson. Don’t do that to your mother, and definitely not your father.
“He did, but Mike’s a dumbass. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Abby chuckled. Vanessa also couldn’t help herself, letting a faint smile slip. Nevertheless, she can’t really argue with that. But still, such a statement coming from his sister's mouth.
“Please Vanessa.” Abby wraps her hands around Vanessa yet again, nuzzling her head into Vanessa’s stomach. “Don’t leave me, I miss you so much.” The harder Vanessa tries to break out of the new hug, the tighter Abby’s hold becomes. They haven’t seen each other in weeks. Abby has to be aware of the fact that they’ll probably never meet again after this just as much as Vanessa is.
And she doesn’t want to let her go. She doesn’t want to lose another friend. Abby does not want to lose Vanessa.
And Vanessa does not want to lose Abby.
But Abby is just a child. A child Vanessa is putting in danger just by being near her. And Vanessa is an adult, an adult who has to be responsible.
“Abby?!”
A shout resonates through the freezers. Looks like the clock keeping track of her time with Abby just struck its end. At least she won’t have to be the one explaining this whole mess to her now.
Her eyes register Mike getting closer, leading her body to stiffen just at that.
How will he react?
Before she knows it, he stops in his tracks, not getting close to Vanessa. It’s evident that he wants to keep his distance from her. The delusional part of her likes to think that it's because he can’t face her after what he said to her the last time they spoke. That he’s regretting all of it and is now just trying to figure out how to put it in words.
But the rational part of her quickly puts an end to it, bringing her back to reality. He’s keeping his distance because he can’t even bear the thought of being anywhere near her. That he somehow knows she was pathetic enough to get possessed by Charlotte. That he knows all of her wrongdoings now and is absolutely disgusted by her.
There are no words coming out of him. He is just standing there, staring at her, taking in all of her worthless glory in. She can feel her cheeks heat up a little under his intense gaze.
The silence is painful. He’s waiting there for his sister, but the sister in question doesn’t have any plans of letting Vanessa go.
Right, she should presumably step in.
“Abby,” Vanessa’s fingers brush over her arm, lightly tapping it to get the girl's attention, “you should go back to your brother.” Abby’s head stops laying against her stomach, raising it to look into Vanessa’s eyes.
She can see a faint tear in one of Abby’s eyes.
“Please Abby, it’s better this way.” Vanessa forces a smile to appear on her face as her heart is starting to break from just the way Abby looks at her.
“We’re adults, we know what we’re doing.”
One of the three biggest lies Vanessa has said in her life.
“Come on now, Mike only wants what’s good for you.” And so does Vanessa. Which means that if what’s good for Abby means them never meeting again, then so be it.
In the end, Abby’s hands start loosening around her, until they fully fall beside her body. She gives her one last sorrowful look before retreating to Mike.
Once she returns to his side, Mike doesn’t give Vanessa a second thought, grabbing Abby’s arm and rather harshly turning away with her. Vanessa can’t take her eyes off them as she’s left there, standing still, watching them get lost in the distance.
Her ears catch some faint noises coming from them which could only be an argument about this whole situation, she presumes.
Once they leave her sight, she can feel tears starting to form in her eyes.
“Look at that, you’re all alone again!” Charlotte laughs out loud, being vocal about her enjoyment in Vanessa’s misery.
Meanwhile, Vanessa’s head finds its way to her hands, burying itself deep there, finally letting the tears get a free way out.
She expected him to be mad, to yell at her or repeat his words from that night in case she forgot. But oh God, this was worse. This was so much worse.
He didn’t even waste the smallest bit of his voice on her. He didn’t even dare to step anywhere near her.
He didn’t give a single damn about her.
He… couldn’t care less about her. It’s as if she never existed in the first place, as if they never shared all of those moments. And all of this is so much worse than if he just shouted at her.
Because if he shouted at her, that would mean he at least still cared about her a little.
* * *
The summer wind breezes through Vanessa’s hair, giving her a brief moment of coolness to enjoy. The temperature has risen as if it were on steroids the past week.
Today has been one of those days where she’s had lots of tasks to do. Her legs hadn’t stopped moving since the early morning, fresh from one place to another. The amount of bus stops she’s been to today cannot even be counted on her two hands.
She feels very sick by now, even more than normal. Her brain cannot recall a time when her head was ever spinning this much. Before she throws herself into bed at home, she can’t forget to take some painkillers. Hopefully the annoying buzzing will stop then.
As soon as she passes through this park, there will be a bus stop, and that bus stop will mean she won’t have to walk anymore.
Come on Vanessa, you can pull through.
The people around her must give her a weird look, wondering why she’s walking like a living corpse. What would her parents tell her if they saw her like this? Ugh, who cares, her father is dead and her mother is God knows where, why should she give a care in the slightest?
Plus, it’s not like anyone is here anyways, it’s the middle of the week, all the children are studying for the end of the year exams, in hopes of changing their report card for better, which makes her whole thought process completely pointless.
Vanessa continues dragging herself through the park. The sun glows on her concerningly pale skin from between the trees, seemingly encouraging the dizziness she was well acquainted with now to return.
Great.
It slowly becomes worse with each step Vanessa takes but she doesn’t stop. Oh no, only a few more minutes of walking are standing between her and the bus, there’s no way she’s going to take a break now. She’ll just have to pull through.
“You should sit down.” And here she goes, Vanessa almost forgot about her little ghost friend bound to her, except, there is no way she could truly forget.
It’s no surprise that Vanessa doesn’t give Charlotte’s words a second of consideration, continuing her journey to the bus stop. She doesn’t say anything back to her, however Charlotte doesn’t take it to heart, already being used to it by now.
It’s not that Vanessa despises her so much that she’s ignoring her, she couldn’t hate Charlotte, especially not when Vanessa is the only reason Charlotte is like this. Vanessa just doesn’t talk to her in public, which is pretty self-explanatory. The last thing she needs right now is for people to think she’s erratic.
Her staggered steps continue through the park, the dizziness showing no signs of giving. At this rate, she may actually have to take a short break.
She manages to take three more steps before abruptly stiffening up, her loud groan echoing against the trees. Luckily for her, there’s no one around to hear it. Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath in an attempt to slow down the dizziness taking over her.
It’s as if her body was protesting against her, wanting to take control over her by forcing her to sit down and rest a little. And even Vanessa knows that if she doesn’t listen, it will have catastrophic consequences, so there’s no use resisting it.
Vanessa carefully makes her way to the pier a few meters away from her. It’s not very big, quite the opposite really, but it would fit a bigger friend group having a picnic there. It’s as if a heavy rock has fallen off her back as she sits down. The dizziness is still there but at least she doesn’t have to fear losing her balance now.
A long sigh leaves her as she stretches her legs, the wind continuing to pleasantly blow on her face. The faint noises of birds and insects is a welcome change to her rather muted and dull house.
The sun delicately shines on her skin, bringing some much needed warmness to her icy cheeks. Her eyes direct their gaze to the lake right before her.
An idea comes to Vanessa’s mind. A childish idea, but who cares, no one else seems to be here and even if someone was they wouldn’t care. The only two people who would are gone, there won’t be any punishment awaiting her when she gets home late with wet socks, so why is she in such a hurry in the first place?
Her legs slide closer to her chest, letting her calmly take off her shoes and socks.
“Do you remember?” Charlotte takes Vanessa out of her thoughts, reminding her of her presence. The dead girl is now sitting right beside her, her feet already in the water. Can the ghost feel the water? Vanessa doubts it.
“Yeah.” She slides one of her feet into the lake, quickly pulling it back with a shiver that jolts through her entire body. It might be summer by now, but the water is still as cold as snow, just like in their childhood.
“Of course I do.” How could she forget? Those are the memories she will always bring with her. All of the late summer nights where Vanessa didn’t have to fear her parents and could just be a child for a while thanks to a sleepover at the Emily’s house.
Charlotte also seemed to be fond of those memories, if you take the big smile on her face into consideration. Moments like that used to be so easy, so precious back then. They were nothing really out of the ordinary for Charlotte, but Vanessa was an Afton, and those were the only times when she truly got to be a child.
She decides to dip her legs into the water a second time, and though the shiver floods through her again, she doesn’t pull away this time, just resting her feet in the cool water. It gradually feels warmer, relaxing her muscles.
“This reminds me of the time when I threw you into the lake,” Charlotte laughs, making the smile on Vanessa’s face even bigger.
After that, neither of them talk, letting this calm and beautiful moment last. Each of them wishes that it could last forever. Maybe it would if they stayed here like this. Or if the one left alive sank to the bottom of the lake until her lungs gave out.
Vanessa’s eyes close, her mind only focusing on the noises around her and what her body is feeling. The hard old wood she is sat on, the calming water her legs are floating in, and the soft breeze flowing towards her.
If only life could be like this all the time.
After a few minutes, maybe more, her eyelids open back up, leisurely getting used to the sunlight again. Though, it isn’t as bright as it was when she first sat down. The sun is already beginning to set, making room for the moon to take its place.
She should get going, but she might as well treat herself to a few more minutes of this heaven. Not because she deserves it, but because she needs it. Her gaze wanders throughout the scenery laid in front of her, stopping at the sight of two figures in the distance.
Looks like she isn’t alone here after all. Not that she cares though, she’s already leaving.
Her legs disappear from the water as she brings her knees to her chest, giving some time for her feet to dry. Though there might not be anyone at her house waiting to hit her at the mere look of wet socks, Vanessa realizes that a ride home with wet socks would not be the most comfortable.
Her eyes continue to fixate on the two figures as they get closer. It’s not that she recognizes them, it’s just that focusing on something like that brings her mind away from the glum reality for a little while.
One of the figures seems to be shouting something as they get closer and closer. The shouts become more coherent as her eyes start making out the faces.
“ . . . essa!”
“ . . . nessa!”
“ . . . anessa!”
“ . Vanessa!
It takes Vanessa an embarrassingly long time to realize that it’s a girl shouting her name, the other figure running right after her. It doesn’t take as long to realize that the other figure is her much older brother.
Vanessa’s mood immediately changes to a saddened one.
Before Abby has the chance to get any closer, Mike grabs her by her arm, roughly turning away with her.
Though unlike their last unexpected meeting, he turns his head to Vanessa, giving her a quick glare before turning back to Abby and giving her what she can only presume is a lecture as they leave Vanessa’s sight.
Oh shit, Vanessa just realized that it must have seemed as if she was staring at them. That doesn’t bother her for long though, as her mind comes back to Mike. His glare had anger written all over it. He hates her, she knew it. This realization stings her heart harder than her mother ever hit.
And suddenly the way he ignored her in the grocery store doesn’t hurt as much.
If only she wasn’t an Afton.