Chapter Text
Natasha was tired. But more importantly, she was pissed.
First thing in the morning Stark waltzed into their common room and told them to suit up because of an emergency in Sokovia. He didn't bother with explaining what exactly the emergency was and she didn't push as Loki was in the room with them. Occupying the armchair that was Natasha’s and smiling innocently from the rim of his bowl of Mac & cheese (his fascination with it was slowly becoming disturbing). Little fucker had no business knowing what they were up to.
It was bad enough they had to babysit him in the first place. They were the Avengers, they were supposed to… keep the world safe? Or something like that. Not look after criminals. When Natasha joined, or rather, had been incorporated accidentally into the mismatched group she never expected to become some sort of glorified jailor.
Loki should be in prison, not sitting in her favourite armchair and steadily making his way through their stash of instant noodles. But the one problem with it being he simply refused to stay put.
She remembered the day he appeared on the Helicalier. They had a meeting concerning the accords. She was there, along with Tony, Vision and, surprisingly, Wanda. Bruce wasn't allowed on board, Clint left to visit his family and Steve– Steve downright refused to come.
After he found Bucky, he didn't want to leave his side. She wasn't happy about it, but she understood that the two of them were friends. Friends from before, which wasn't something many people could share with Captain America. However, the fact that Bucky was also the Winter Soldier was–
Very, very disturbing.
Stark couldn't look at him. He understood that it wasn't Bucky that killed his parents, but nothing could change the painful reality that it was the same face, the same body, the same hands that took away the shreds of Tony’s childhood. So, he did not hate Bucky, he just couldn't stand his presence. So, Bucky left, and Steve, loyal dog, left with him.
Although he would visit sometimes to check base, it simply wasn't the same as having him in a room next to hers. And after Loki got locked with them Steve’s visits became much more sporadic and hurried. Until a few days ago he finally declared that they were moving because he would not let Bucky’s already shambled mind stay in the same state as Loki’s magic any longer. Which… fair.
Natasha did not know where they went, but their disappearance certainly wasn't helping.
What also wasn't helping was that even before they left, the government was very cross with their lot already. They wanted the Avengers on their beck and call, they wanted to own them. It was a great insult to them that only four of the so-called heroes appeared at the meeting and then had the guts to disrespect them by arguing that no, Vision has never been a piece of government property. And just as Stark and Secretary Ross were having a very heated debate concerning exactly this matter Loki popped into existence. He appeared in an explosion of green sparkles, sitting cross-legged on the table between them and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. The confusion lasted no more than five seconds and then all hell broke loose.
The only thing she remembered was jumping back and knocking down another table to hide behind it. Then there were gunshots, Stark's muffled curses and Fury’s yelling. When it stopped she dared to look up to evaluate the situation.
Loki was still sitting on the table with a very bored expression, his clothes riddled with circular holes, matching smashed bullets strewn around him. The soldiers were reloading, clicking their guns and ready to fire again when he spoke:
‘Aw damn, I just got this shirt.’
He wasn't doing anything more, so Tony, the one of them with a death wish, took the initiative.
‘Reindeer Games! Thor said you were dead. To what do we owe the pleasure of seeing your living flesh? Another invasion perhaps?’ His voice shook slightly but he hid it well. Natasha could see him fiddling with the cuffs on his wrists, something which anyone else would dismiss as a nervous habit but she knew he tried to summon one of his suits.
‘Not really,’ Loki drawled, ‘actually, I have come to surrender.’
‘Because you know we already beat you once, we–’ his words registered, ‘Wait, you what?’
‘I have come to surrender.’ Loki repeated, ‘I come here unarmed, I am not attacking, I am not making any demands, I am not even moving.’ He sighed, ‘And here you greet me by trying to shoot me. Not very hospitable, I would say.’
There was silence for a moment then Fury took a step forwards, ‘And what,’ he hissed through gritted teeth, ‘made you come here?’
Loki turned to look him dead in the eye, ‘Complete. And utter. Boredom.’
After that they tried to cuff him. He refused. They insisted. He agreed, but said he'd take them off anyway. They didn't listen. They locked him in a cell. He said he'll leave. Again, they didn't listen. They went back to the meeting room to discuss what to do with this new development and he was there. Sitting cross-legged on the table and looking at them with a very unimpressed expression. So, it happened again, because they were stupid, obviously. They cuffed him, locked him, went back to the room, and once again he was there. And again. And again. Until Ross declared that if he wouldn’t stay put they would sedate him and take him to a lab to inject him with some sort of serum based on Bruce's experiments, which was supposed to take away his powers permanently. Fury cursed at that, apparently knowing all too well what it meant but Natasha had no idea they even had something like that.
And Loki, of course, dared them to try. Fury tried to defuse the situation. Natasha tried to help him. Stark told them to fuck off. Vision looked very confused (and that was saying something because he never really looked like anything) and Wanda– Wanda was staring at Loki as if transfixed.
So, obviously, Ross tried it. Commanded his men to bind him, again. They did that. Loki disappeared and reappeared behind Ross. Tapped him on the shoulder. Disappeared again. Appeared hanging upside down on one of the lamps. Then disappeared again just before they shot at it. It fell down. And this started a very long sequence of events which eventually led to the whole Helicarier catching on fire.
After one of the engines gave way and they began to lose aptitude, Loki appeared again and told Ross that he would stop it if they promised to come to a consensus of some sort, where they would back off and he wouldn’t kill them. And Ross, utterly defeated, agreed. Natasha was glad he did. She might not like Loki, but Ross putting his hands on anyone, even him, seemed plain wrong.
This was the first of many decisions leading to Loki ultimately staying at the Tower and being their problem.
It was bad enough that this development led to Steve's ultimate disappearance, Clint's definite refusal to leave Laura and the kids alone, Pepper threatening Tony with moving out and Wanda’s unhealthy fascination with the alien. And Natasha, to her utter bafflement, had to agree that Loki handled her better than them. She knew they wouldn't be the best at helping her. After all, Stark’s parental issues were bigger than the man’s ego, Bruce was painfully introverted, Vision had no awareness of social norms and Natasha had been raised by assassins. Pepper was sort of alright, but she definitely wasn’t comfortable alone with the young witch. The only competent person in this scenario would be Clint, but he was away because of Loki. And Loki, well–
Loki was good with kids. It was probably the biggest surprise about him. They didn't let him talk to Wanda at first, they did everything to keep her away from him. But while keeping an eye on one kid, they managed to forget about the other. Peter Parker, Spiderman, or whatever he liked to call himself. He visited at times, not really because of them, as in, the Avengers, but because of Stark specifically. He was an orphan, and Natasha supposed it made Tony feel for him. Made him… pliable, in a way. Pliable enough to allow the kid to visit without giving them a heads up.
One day he came round when nobody was in. Nobody besides Loki, that is. FRIDAY alerted them of it, of course, but didn't do it immediately as there hadn't been any immediate danger. Tony relayed to her later that when he came back he found them sitting in the common room, eating Mac & cheese and totally engrossed in Peter’s homework. So as nothing happened they reluctantly introduced Wanda to the resident alien.
One upside of the Loki situation, however, was that they'd finally be leaving the damned Tower. Natasha never liked the building, it was ugly and way too tall, which spoke much about Stark’s issues. Tony decided to move after it turned out that the god in my house issue wasn't going to resolve itself and they were all wary of keeping him stuck in the middle of Manhattan, which, let's not forget, he invaded. There were too many people there if something were to go south. So, Natasha was glad they were moving, but a downside of it was that Loki (because all their problems were somehow Loki’s fault) couldn't know. They knew he would figure it out, eventually, as he unfortunately wasn't stupid. But they didn't want him to prepare himself for it. The plan was to catch him a little off guard, so he’d spent his time trying to adapt to the surprise instead of plotting something nefarious. After all, too much free time meant boredom and the last time Loki was bored he destroyed a Helicalier.
What Natasha didn't expect, though, was that he actually wasn't the worst person she ever had to live with. As far as roommates went he was quite agreeable. He did his dishes, didn't leave dirty socks on the floor, never attempted awkward small talk and most importantly, did not try to kill them. Which was a surprise. The only thing she could be truly mad at him was that he completely destroyed Mac & cheese for her. She simply couldn't look at it without thinking about him, which was awful because she was quite fond of it previously. It was a tragedy, but then again Stark ruined watermelons for her, Bruce her idea of protein shakes, Steve made her think of the internet as something alien, Clint milked every joke dry and Thor– Thor wasn't made for Earthy things. Period. So, Loki trademarking Mac & cheese wasn't the worst that could have happened.
Living with him was very weird, though. Not in the biblical miracles kind of way, but in the little things aren't adding up.
Natasha expected to learn his routine. After all, that was something happening naturally after you moved in with a new person. You simply were bound to learn their habits.
Loki didn't have habits. He didn't keep his food in the fridge, he had only one pair of shoes, he didn't put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, his things weren't strewn in various places and when she once walked into his room it was empty. No clothes in the wardrobe, no products in the bathroom, the furniture was covered in dust as if he's never even been there. It was suspicious, to say the least.
One certain thing she noticed was that he didn't keep to any sort of schedule. He’d go places sometimes, no one commented on it. Natasha supposed no one wanted to know. And when he was in the Tower, he either avoided them altogether, kept himself only to Wanda or Peter, or sat in her armchair and ate Mac & cheese. She never saw him do much of anything different, well maybe she noticed him reading once or twice, but there wasn't anything uncanny about books. The one habit she noticed he had was coming to the kitchen at the weirdest hours to do absolutely nothing. She walked in on him sometimes, but none of them spoke and eventually one just left.
Usually.
There was this one time when she couldn't sleep.
Insomnia wasn't unusual in her line of work and her coping mechanism was shitty but it never failed her. She’d simply drink enough coffee to stay awake the whole night, then she’d be dead on her feet throughout the next day, but the following night she’d be out cold.
It was around three in the morning when she walked into the kitchen and saw him. He was sitting at the counter in a loose unicorn onesie, hair a mess, hands laid flat in front of him, gazing somewhere only he could see. A song she didn't know was streaming from the audio system.
...'Cause if God make us all in his image...
‘What are you doing?’ Natasha remembered asking.
...Then God's a fucking nerd...
He shivered momentarily but answered, ‘Just thinking.’ in an empty voice.
...And I'll sing silence...
‘About?’
...And ask my glass of wine for guidance...
Loki tilted his head at her like a curious bird, ‘Whether you’d like some coffee.’
...I might not make it tonight...
He stood up to turn on the coffee machine, which made her frown in confusion because it was redirection at its finest.
...And I'll speak with my eyes...
She stared as he took out two mugs from the cupboard-
...You'll think I'm neat, I'm not surprised...
-poured the contents of the pot into them-
...That I might not make it tonight...
-added some spices into his mug and then turned to her.
‘Vanilla, cream and three sugars?’ he asked innocently and she nodded dumbly.
The illusion of safety was gone.
He knew how she liked her coffee.
It was the moment Natasha realised that they made a grave mistake letting him in. They did not know his habits but he learned theirs. He knew them, they became predictable to him and Natasha despised that thought. In the following days she made it a point to study his actions more closely. What she noticed was that he never left the cupboards open because he figured out it annoyed Bruce, he didn’t touch Stark’s favourite scotch, he found the right volume for the audio system so Vision’s hearing receptors could listen to the vibrations without the annoying staticky sound, he kept away from the training rooms because they were all uncomfortable with him exercising in any way or form, he left Pepper’s stash of tea alone, he didn’t dare change the heating setting when Natasha dialed it up to her liking, and most importantly, he always made himself scarce when Steve visited. He was very adjusted, and it scared her, because it meant he learned them and nobody noticed.
Come to think of it, Natasha expected him to be like Thor, somewhat. They were brothers, hailing from the same planet, more or less the same age, but where Thor was loud Loki was silent. He was like a cat - harmless unless it got bored and decided to knock things off the counter. And Natasha really didn't want to get knocked off the counter.
Later that night, when they were halfway through their mugs already, he glanced at her and chuckled out of the blue.
She tensed at the sound, ‘What?’
He awarted his gaze, ‘Nothing, just–’ he sighed, ‘You remind me of someone.’
‘Who?’
He hummed and started tracing the rim of his mug, ‘She was… I wouldn't call her a friend. She was supposed to be one, but in the end it didn't work out.’ he sighed again, propped his head on one hand and started ogling her in earnest, ‘I don't know why you remind me of her. She was much taller than you. She wasn't even human, and yet…’ he turned away, ‘you’re similar somehow. I guess it must be the hair.’
So, living with Loki was very anxiety inducing. He never did anything, per say, but she knew he could and that meant she has been walking on eggshells ever since he moved in. It was bad enough all of them were tense and worse that they had to lie constantly while he was in the room.
So today they lied they were going to Sokovia, while in reality they went to the new compound to make sure everything was in place. The worst thing was that Loki knew they were lying. She knew that he knew, and he knew that she knew that he knew, but he didn't do anything about it. It was infuriating because it meant he didn't care. At all. It meant that, in his book, they were no threat, he thought he had them figured out and Natasha was scared shitless because she knew he actually might have. He never tried anything, instead insisted on staying with them because they were interesting, but Natasha knew he was playing at something. She felt it in her bones.
He could be anywhere in the universe. He proved his ability to teleport and she knew he was using it unabashedly. She had no idea where he went when he disappeared, he would not explain, but then again, he always came back and there was no bad news from the rest of the world.
Why was he even here?
Why wouldn't he just leave?
Why did he keep coming back?
What was he playing at?
Those questions kept her awake at night and she was just so damn tired of pretending the last month has been normal, when it has been anything but.
And as it usually went with things like this, fatigue had a tendency to quickly morph into anger.
So, Natasha has been pissed for more than a few days now. She wanted to finally lay down in her new bed, far away from civilization, without having to worry about a genocidal maniac suddenly changing his mind and deciding to kill their neighbours. The plan for today was to finally move house. All of their stuff was in the compound already, the only thing left to do was take Loki there and pray he wouldn't protest.
They weren't prepared for a spaceship appearing in orbit.