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Okarun could admit without any shame that he was nervous. He and Momo had been growing closer lately, no words said about the state of their relationship, but the unsaid ones speaking somehow louder than any spoken ones could.
Somehow, knowing that it was almost certain Momo felt the same didn't manage to dissuade the fear of rejection. Or, perhaps it was less about rejection and more about the fear of the unknown in general. Okarun knew that he and the red panda made good friends — there was no doubt.
But… would he make a good boyfriend?
What if it just led to Momo leaving him, deciding he wasn't worth it and turning away with just a simple flick of the ear in farewell?
He'd been… doing a lot of spiraling lately. A lot of dropping to all fours to try and run off those thoughts, the wind in his fur providing a wonderful — though only temporary — distraction.
But he was out of time to distract.
He had to man up.
Whatever the fuck that meant because he was pretty sure most of the bravest people he knew were female, but whatever.
Just… he had to do something at least. Even if he didn't tell her how he felt directly, just… anything to advance their relationship.
They held hands regularly, she'd fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder (though he'd resisted the urge to run his fingers through her fur), they'd caught each other staring more times than he could count on both paws.
But lately, any further development had been stagnant.
It took everything in him to convince himself that it wasn't because she stopped caring — because he knew that if that were the case, they'd no longer do those things at all, not just not advance further.
So today, he was determined to do… something.
He just had no fucking idea of what.
Telling himself he'd know what to do when the moment was right, he raised a paw to knock on the Ayase shrine door, Momo opening it within seconds (and startling him, he could admit) with a grin.
"Okarun!" she practically purred, reaching out to pull him into a hug. He was grateful for the thick fur on his cheeks, blocking the blush he was sure was present as he wrapped his own arms around her.
Her fur was so soft, warm, comforting.
He never wanted to let go.
Alas, they couldn't stay that way forever — as much as he wanted to.
Momo reached a paw out as they separated, Okarun placing his in it on instinct. No need to think, as though their paws were connected by invisible magnets.
The warmth that spread through his fingers, up his arm, all he way to his heart had him grinning. He was thrilled to see she was returning it full force.
"Anything new?" she asked as they headed out, and she didn't need to say more — Okarun knew an invitation to info dump when he saw one.
Yokai, alien, anything in between. The latest scientific advances in identifying alien life, the latest rumors of yokai sightings whether he thought they were a hoax or not. It all came out without restraint.
Sometimes, he worried it was too much — that he was too much. But any time he glanced over, Momo was nodding along, sometimes adding interjections of her own thoughts or questions.
Just… listening, and seeming to be as into the conversation as he was
He found his tail thrashing lightly in joy, dong his best to stilt it before she noticed.
They ended up at the park, their usual place to hang out when they wanted to just… be together. Relax. Enjoy each other's company.
Finding an empty bench was easy, as the air was a bit brisk and the park was quieter than usual. They sat, just over a paw-sized gap between them. Okarun rested his paw in the gap, not daring to look over as he felt Momo's rest atop his.
"I missed you," Momo admitted, as though they hadn't hung out the day before.
"M-me too," he confessed back.
The light wave of his tail, back and forth, was mostly done to self soothe his own anxiety. Rather than calm him, though, he just wound up almost jumping when he felt it brush against something else. Soft, fluffy, perfect.
Momo's tail.
He glanced over — Momo was looking forward, a soft smile on her face, no sign that she'd felt their tails touch.
That wasn't a bad sign though, right?
So he let them brush again.
Momo talked about something Muko had said the day before, as though nothing had happened, as though the touch didn't leave Okarun's tail feeling like it was on fire.
He never thought flames could feel so nice.
Listening was harder, now, though. The red panda's words always captivated him, but today… his mind struggled to focus. He felt guilty, yet…
All he could think about was one thing.
He took a deep breath, whiskers twitching in nerves.
His tail brushed hers a bit longer this time before slowly, the end curled around hers.
Momo's words paused, only for a moment, before she kept going.
She didn't pull away.
In fact, her tail curved around his as well, a soft grip, somehow more intimate than the paw holding they did near daily at this point.
Okarun had died and gone to heaven.
The fact that Momo moved to lean her head against his shoulder only made it better/worse.
She smelled like home. Soft, earthy, a bit of mint, and something just so purely Momo.
He wished he could bottle up the smell and keep it on him always.
He supposed, instead, he'd just have to stay by her side. Always.
"Okarun~" Momo whined with a pout. "You're not listening to me."
"I am, I am, I swear!" he defended, using his free paw to adjust his glasses. "I just, uh-"
"Bit distracted?" she teased, managing to move even closer.
He gulped, but nodded.
When she picked her head up to place her cool nose against his cheek, he was no longer sure his fur could hide the blush.
Yet, despite the embarrassment, he grinned.
Maybe they were taking baby steps, but it was okay. He knew Momo cared, and he sure as hell knew he did.
More than that.
He definitely loved her.