Chapter Text
Scott barely heard the thunderous applause. His heart hammered in his ears as he stared at Kip's face, gripping his denim jacket. Kip's hand cupped his cheek.
“I love you so fucking much,” he said, resting his forehead against Kip's.
“I love you too, god I'm so proud of you,” Kip said, beaming as he wiped a tear off Scott's face.
Vaughn skated over and clapped Scott on the back.
“Hate to break this up, man, but the
team's heading to the locker room.”
Kip squeezed his hand.
“I'll wait for you outside.”
Scott just nodded. The sound of the crowd and the bright rink lights slammed into him like a rush of cold air. He could hear the faint murmurs of disapproval in the crowd now, see the mix of proud, surprised, and disgusted expressions on his teammates faces. Vaughn squeezed his shoulder as they skated towards the locker room. Bennett and Huff clapped him on the back.
“You know we've got your back, right?” Huff said.
“Thanks, man.”
“Scott, you should join me in Ithaca for pride this summer,” Bennett said.
Scott had seen the large pride parades in Manhattan from his window but it had always been too risky, there were too many people in this city that knew his face. He'd tried, once, when he'd first moved to Manhattan, and ended up back in his apartment, hyperventilating as he anxiously flipped through gossip channels.
“Maybe.”
“I've got a house on Cayuga lake, it's super private, anytime you and Kip want to get out of the city, let me know,” Bennett squeezed his shoulder.
One of his teammates scooted away from Scott as he sat to unlace his skates.
“Why'd you have to rub it in everyone's
faces Hunter? I don't want the Admirals to be the team that everyone chirps and targets on the ice because our captain is a sissy.”
Vaughn pushed himself in between them.
“Lay off, other teams won't be a problem because if anyone messes with our captain, including anyone on this team, it's gloves off.”
“Yeah but, did he have to kiss the guy? It's gross, you think that's normal, Vaughn?”
“Uh, yeah, it's 2017, and you had your tongue in your wife's mouth, we were all celebrating, I'm just glad Hunter wasn't alone for once.”
“It's depra-”
“Your teeth are already mostly fake, do not finish that sentence or I will turn you into a dentist's worst nightmare.”
Vaughn clapped Scott on the shoulder, leading him into the hallway. He pulled him into a quick hug.
“Go get your man, Hunter.”
“Thanks Vaughn, you didn't need to-”
“I meant it Hunter, gloves off, Huff, Bennett, and I, and coach too, we've got your back.”
Scott pulled his baseball cap further over his face out of habit, arm wrapped tightly around Kip's shoulders to shield him from the camera flashes. He answered the reporter's questions politely, exhaling when he and Kip were in the back of his car. He leaned his head against Kip's shoulder.
Back in his apartment, Scott slumped down on the couch. Kip kissed the top of his head, heading towards their bedroom. Scott stared at his phone, scrolling through Facebook with shaking fingers. His thoughts changed from 'I love you, I love you, I love you’ to ‘Ohshitohshitohshitwhat was he thinking?' His phone grew blurry and his lungs burned like he'd taken a puck to the chest. He was too hot, sweat beading on his face as he tugged at his sweatshirt, but he couldn't move. Someone gently pulled his phone out of his hands, gently loosening his clenched fingers. A hand rubbed up and down his back.
“Scott, you need to breathe, slowly, in and out.”
He tried, a shaky gasp scraped out of his throat.
“That's it, you'll be alright.”
His breathing steadied. Kip sat in front of him dressed in boxers and one of Scott's old Admirals T shirts, a look of concern in his brown eyes. He cupped Scott's face.
“That's it, look at me, look at my face, everything will be okay,” Kip ran his thumb over Scott's jaw.
Scott folded forward, curling so his head rested underneath Kip's chin. He sobbed. Kip's fingers carded through his hair. His breathing steadied. He leaned further into Kip's chest, feeling heavy and vaguely concussed. Kip pressed a kiss to his forehead, standing up. Scott heard water running.
“Drink this,” Kip said, stroking the hair at the back of his neck, “the whole thing, you just played an entire game of hockey and had a panic attack, then we'll lie down and watch something on TV, I'm turning off both of our phones till tomorrow morning at least, whenever you're ready we'll face this together.”
Kip helped him to their bedroom. He still almost cried from happiness every time he thought of his place as theirs or saw Kip's art textbooks and clothes scattered around the apartment. They fell into bed, Scott's head resting in Kip's lap.
“You feeling okay?” Kip asked, playing with his bangs.
“Hmmhmm,” Scott said, eyes half closed, “Are you?” He traced circles on Kip's arm.
“I am so in love with you right now, kissing on the ice was honestly kinda hot, I knew what I was signing up for when I said I'd stay, and that isn't changing,” Kip leaned down, kissing Scott's forehead.
Scott yawned.
“I'm tired but my brain is still-”
“Loud? Want to watch something while you fall asleep?” Kip asked, fingers tracing Scott's side.
“Criminal Minds?”
“Won't that make you more anxious?”
Scott laughed.
“I used to listen to True Crime podcasts before bed.”
Kip turned on the TV, wrapping his arms around Scott.
“Is it just me or is Derek Morgan kinda-”
“Nope, not just you,” Scott said.
“Who was your first crush?” Kip asked.
“This is going to make me sound so old,” Scott said, “definitely Patrick Swayze, I mean-”
“I'm only three years younger than you!”
“You're a nineties kid, you wouldn't understand.”
“Scott, my love, you were born in ‘88.”
“Who was your first?” Scott turned towards Kip, leaning on his elbow.
“Adam Pascal,” Kip said, blushing.
“Who?”
“Oh my God, Elena is going to make you watch so many musicals, he's a Broadway actor, played Roger in Rent.”
“Yeah, can't say I'm very familiar with musical theater,” Scott said, he sighed, “I'm really behind with queer? Is that the right word now?”
Kip nodded.
“With queer culture in general, I just couldn't before I came out, before tonight, I was so afraid so I stayed away from anything that might make people around me suspect that- and I was so lonely.”
“You have time to catch up, you have me and my friends, you can find a community now, maybe a support group, you're not alone anymore.”
Scott buried his head in Kip's chest, relishing the feeling of falling asleep in his arms.