Chapter Text
— 3:34 pm, March 21st —
Jason: Back from the optometrist
Jason: I’m officially a member of the glasses club
Tim: One Of Us!
Babs: One Of Us!
Lian: One Of Us!
Jon: Do I count? They aren't real but I still wear glasses?
Lian: Contacts and fake glasses don't count
Dick: That feels targeted
Selina: I wear reading glasses, do I count?
Lian: Yes
Lian: Grandpa B would too if he actually wore his instead of pretending he doesn't need them
Selina: I doubt that will ever happen
Dick: B is way to stubborn
Tim: Half of your kids need glasses now B, its not an age thing its a staring at a screen and spending most of your time in the dark thing.
Bruce: I can see fine
Duke: You called me Tim the other day.
Bruce: I have a lot of kids, I get them mixed up sometimes
Stephanie: How long did it take him to correct himself, Duke?
Duke: A good 15 minutes
Bruce: It was not
Tim: If you were prescribed glasses you need to wear them
Damian: Father if you dont wear your glasses your vision will only decrease more rapidly
Jason: Listen to your doctor B!
Bruce: Damian is a pediatrician
Cass: And your acting like a child
Bruce: Speaking of, Damian, how is your transfer coming?
Tim: He's changing the subject
Jason: Not even trying to hide it
Damian: It was approved a few weeks ago. I will be moving to Smallville in about 2 months.
(People are typing…)
Dick: Oh
Dick: **Yay!
Stephanie: Nice Dick, good cover
Dick: Sorry, I'm happy for you I promise!
Dick: I'm just gonna miss you
Tim: You don't even live in the same city now
Dick: STILL
Jason: I say good riddance
Stephanie: You realize this means that he won't be Austin’s pediatrician anymore
Jason: I say stay put
Damian: I will recommend a good doctor for you, all of my regular patients are going to be moved to a different doctor that I find suitable for them.
Jason: You have been his doctor since I found him. I cant trust some rando with my kid
Roy: Our kid
Jason: I can't trust some rando with our kid
Damian: It wont be ‘some rando’ it will be a doctor that I personally trust and believe is a good fit for him
Roy: Thanks Damian, you dont have to do that
Jason: Fine.
Stephanie: Three months is super quick
Bruce: Yes, are you sure you have everything prepared? Are you sure you won't need more time?
Damian: I’m sure.
Damian: I was able to expedite the process a bit by researching my possibilities first.
Tim: What about your lease?
Damian: I only have 7 months on it so I spoke to my landlord and was able to bring it down after an inspection and some convincing.
Babs: So you wont have to pay extra for coming off your lease early?
Damian: No, and I’m getting my deposit back.
Duke: Seriously? I feel like we put some damage into that place in the early years
Damian: I fixed it all, if anything it looks better then when I moved in
Bernard: Just seeing this, Congrats Damian!
Damian: Thank you
— 3:40 pm, March 22nd —
Dick: < Video of Mary at Dick’s Gymnastic class doing a backflip >
Dick: First time without hands!
Jon: Nice!
Babs: That’s my girl!!
Bernard: Impressive!
Tim: How long till she can do a quad?
Dick: Lol it'll be a while
— 5:23 pm, March 22nd —
Tim: Has anybody gotten the Wordle yet?
Babs: Got it in 3
Bruce: 3
Damian: 4
Bernard: 4
Roy: Haven't done it yet, one sec
Jon: 5, didn't get a single letter till my second guess
Dick: 3
Selina: 4
Lian: 3
Cass: 3, What guess are you on Tim?
Stephanie: Got it in 4
Roy: 3
Tim: Im on my 6th guess and i have two letters!
Duke: 3
Tim: Damn it, I lost my streak
Jason: I got it in 2
Tim: I hate you
— 10:58 am, March 24th —
Dick: Whos going to babysit now?
Jason: Oh shit
Lian: I can watch Austin when Im not busy
Roy: You dont have to be your brother’s babysitter, we can hire someone
Jason: No we cant, Lian your hired
Dick: No fair!
Lian: Sorry Uncle Dickie
Stephanie: I work to much, barely have time to go out myself
Cass: I’m Batman
Babs: Cass dont text that kind of stuff in the unprotected chat
Cass: What’s a Batman?
Babs: …
Babs: sure
Tim: I can help sometimes
Bernard: No he cant, he’s already stretched too thin
Tim: It would be an excuse to take a break
Bernard: No offence, but when has babysitting Mary ever felt like a break
Dick: None taken
Babs: None taken
Bernard: We can take them on occasion but definitely not as often as Damian
Duke: I can take them on nights I don't have work
Stephanie: You only have one bedroom
Duke: I can get a blow up mattress or sleeping bags
Bruce: I’m available
Dick: You still need adult supervision when you watch the kids B
Lian: What did Grandpa B do? He’s needed supervision since I was little
Jason: Cause I wasnt about to risk you being turned into a Robin
Roy: That isnt why
Jason: It’s a part of it
Dick: Bruce isnt really good with kids
Bernard: How? He has like thirty
Dick: He’s good at acquiring kids but most of the child rearing was done by Alfred
Tim: or Dick
Dick: or me
Lian: He seemed fine when I was growing up
Tim: He’s good at short time periods but not for longer than an hour or so
Cass: He gets overwhelmed
Lian: Cause hes an introvert?
Jason: Cause hes weak
Bruce: That was rude
Babs: He has a point
Babs: You crumble like paper at puppy eyes
Stephanie: Theres also the fact that he cant cook for shit without burning down the kitchen
— 12:04 pm, March 24th —
Damian: I wont be able to babysit as often but Jon can always bring me back to Gotham or Blud in a pinch
Dick: You don’t have to do that baby bat
Dick: Jon shouldn’t have to play taxi
Jason: He offered
Roy: Jason.
Jon: I’m fine with it! I love hanging out with the littles
Jason: Good enough for me
— 5:32 am, March 25th —
Duke: Damian are you home or at work?
Damian: About to head out, why?
Duke: …
Damian: Duke?
Duke: I may have broken my leg
Duke: Only a little tho
Duke: It’s probably fine
Damian: Call me.
— 7:35 am, March 25th —
Cass: < Photo from the driver’s seat of her car of a cat on the windshield >
Cass: 🥺 Cass: I cant go to work today
Duke: Lol
Stephanie: Cute!
Damian: Check under your wheel well, strays like the heat of the car and you don't want to hurt one.
Cass: 😢
— 6:55 pm, March 27th —
Bruce: Jon, how is your grandfather doing?
Jon: Good, thanks.
Jon: He’s still adjusting to not being able to walk but Grandma and Dad are making sure he doesn't push himself too much
Dick: I'm glad he’s feeling better
Babs: I have some chushins that really help when you're stuck in a chair all day. I'll give them to Damian next time I see him
Jon: Thanks Babs, that means a lot
Bernard: I gave Kon a casserole for your Grandpa, please tell me he got it
Tim: Why would you give Kon anything edible that he wasn't supposed to eat
Jon: …I haven't heard anything about a casserole
Jon: I’ll ask Kon
— 7:09 pm, March 27th —
Jon: Kon ate the casserole
Bernard: I knew it
Tim: Of course he did
Stephanie: At least someone enjoyed it?
Bernard: That casserole took three hours
Jason: Skill issue
Bernard: I will poison you
Jason: Fair
Jon: Thanks for the thought anyway Bernard
— 5:38 pm, March 28th —
Dick: Hey Lian could you fix Zika?
Dick: < Photo of Dick’s (now Mary’s) stuffed elephant with a sizeable rip, almost severing it’s leg >
Lian: Sure!
Damian: What happened to her?
Dick: The kids were fighting over her
— 1:43 am, March 29th —
Babs: Whoever borrowed my charger from the Clocktower, bring it back
Dick: Wasn’t me
Tim: Not me
Stephanie: What kind of charger was it?
Babs: USBC to USBC
Cass: Didn't take it but I have one
Dick: Just on you? Why?
Cass: < GIF of Scar singing ‘Be Prepared’ >
Stephanie: She’s (not) Batman, she has everything
— 3:05 am, March 31st —
Dick: Dames I know your asleep but we need more med supplies in the cave sometime this week
— 5:23 am, March 31st —
Damian: What do you need?
Dick: Bandages? IDK supplies just looked low
Tim: I used the last of the thread last weekend
Cass: 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Damian: You are all incompetent
Damian: I'll make a list of what you need to keep stocked and how much before I move
Dick: Thanks Dami!
— 9:02 am, March 31st —
Bernard: Tim do you have stitches rn?
Tim: Nah I've already taken them out
— 10:22 am, April 1st —
Bruce: Who did this?
Bruce: < Photo of the inside of the refrigerator that has been filled with miniature plastic versions of the original items >
Jason: What an odd thing to happen
Bruce: Jason, where is my food?
Jason: Why are you blaming me!?
Jason: Maybe it was Selina, she’s always there
Dick: Are they minibrands? They’re so cute!
Selina: Please, I would have stolen more than his food
Roy: Jay has an alibi, he was with me and Kori yesterday
Stephanie: Why were you guys hanging with your ex?
Stephanie: Weirdo
Roy: Bold fucking words
Stephanie: … touche
Bruce: The pantry is also filled with miniatures.
— 2:01 am, April 4th —
Stephanie: Damian where are you?
Tim: Is he not in his apartment?
Cass: Jon’s
Stephanie: Right, forgot he was visiting this weekend
Stephanie: It’s fine he left his first aid kit
Cass: Are you ok?
Stephanie: Im fine
Stephanie: A guy i was chasing stabbed himself when he tripped over a pipe
Stephanie: Light stabbing, he’ll be fine
— 6:30 am, April 4th —
Damian: Every day I get more worried about how all of you are going to survive without me
Damian: I know you did it before
Tim: We had Leslie then but she's retired now
Damian: Stephanie is a nurse, she should know better
Stephanie: Thats the reason knew he’d be fine
— 1:30 pm, April 5th —
Babs: < Photo of Mary and James looking for Easter eggs in a field. Mary is holding James’ hand and pointing out eggs to him >
Tim: Cute, did they find a lot?
Babs: They did before Dick took a chunk of their stash
Dick: Dad tax
Roy: < Austin smiling and holding up a big basket of plastic eggs. Jason is in the background eating a fun size Twix >
Roy: You two really are brothers
Jon: I didn't know you guys celebrated Easter
Dick: We don't, its just fun for the kids
Stephanie: I think Jason is the only Christian, everyone else is Jewish or agnostic or something
Duke: I’m Christian too
Jason: I’m Catholic
Jason: And I dont really think about religion since I y’know died
Stephanie: Same
Damian: Difficult to think about after Ive been to hell
Bernard: what
Babs: Are you doing something for Easter, Jon?
Jon: Just family dinner
Bernard: Damian, what?
Tim: I'll tell you about it later
— 5:28 am, April 6th —
Stephanie: Heads up I’m pulling a double today
Stephanie: If anyone needs me, no you don’t
Cass: 😘😘
— 2:19 pm, April 6th —
Lian: I just came home and Pops is lying face down on the living room carpet
Roy: Jason had to give Austin the talk this morning
Roy: Austin asked where baby’s come from and Jason said the streets and then made me drive Austin to school
Dick: Lol
Tim: I mean hes not wrong
Lian: Has he been like this all day?
Roy: Probably
Jason: 5 year olds shouldn't be asking those questions
Dick: He’s alive!!
Jason: 😑
Dick: Bad joke, my bad
Bruce: I have to assume thats a normal age, Im pretty sure all of you knew before you came to the manor
Jason: We were all over 5
Bruce: Dick was 8
Dick: To be fair I had seen the animals at the circus and my parents kinda had to explain it at that point
Jon: Hey same! The farm animals though lol
Lian: Did you explain it to him, Dad?
Roy: No, I elaborated on Jay and told him that we found him and all that, I think he was really just wondering why he has two dads and no mom
Tim: I hope he’s not being bullied or anything
Roy: Nah he just seemed confused
Jason: Ill keep an eye on if hes getting bullied tho
— 6:42 pm, April 8th —
Lian: Does anyone want free hemming
Lian: I need the practice and Dad says I’m not allowed to hem his jeans again
Jason: They look fine
Roy: They're capris now
Jason: Fashion is subjective
Stephanie: Sure, I have a skirt that I can only wear with heels that you can shorten
— 8:32 pm, April 9th —
Bruce: Is anyone missing a jacket? There is one in the east sitting room.
Duke: What kind of jacket
Bruce: Suade
Jason: Don’t touch it
Bruce: I already did
Jason: Why would you do that
Bruce: It was on my chair
Jason: It was covered in cuddle pollen
Duke: Why would you leave that lying around?
Jason: I didn't want it around the kids and suede is a bitch to clean
Tim: Just throw it way
Jason: That's a waste of a good jacket
Bruce: Why leave it here
Jason: Cause I can
Jason: You should probably call Selina
Selina: I'm already at the manor
— 2:19 pm, April 11th —
Jon: < Photo of Damian precariously half-standing on a ladder, painting the wall of the kitchen in Smallville >
Jon: I think he forgot I can fly
Dick: Please catch him when he falls
Babs: I like that color
Jon: Thanks, I think it goes really well with the wallpaper
Jon: < Photo of the accent wall already covered in a simple wallpaper with birds and flowers >
— 10:45 pm, April 13th —
Bernard: Guess who isn't going to be joining you on patrol tonight
Stephanie: What’d he do?
Bernard: I asked him for a number between 15 and 30 and he said 38
Jason: Bed time for Timbit
Tim: Im fine
Cass: Sleep
— 11:04 am, April 14th —
Duke: Agethe just asked me to lunch, can someone cover patrol for a bit?
Stephanie: Oh shit
Dick: I thought she moved?
Duke: She did, apparently she just moved back
Babs: Did she just text you out of the blue?
Duke: Nah we ran into each other the other day and said we should meet up sometime
Duke: Tbh I didnt expect her to actually take me up on that
Stephanie: Is this a platonic friends lunch or a ‘I want to get back together’ lunch
Duke: Idk
Babs: What do you want it to be?
Duke: I dont know
Jason: I can cover
— 1:26 pm, April 14th —
Duke: ‘I want to get back together’ lunch
Cass: 😮
Stephanie: Face time
Stephanie: Now
~~~ Face time call ended (41 minutes)~~~
Damian: I missed the call, call me later Duke
— 3:35 pm, April 16th —
Jason: Austin learned how to whistle today
Stephanie: Oof
Dick: How long has he been doing it?
Jason: It’s his new favorite thing
Roy: Im going to be home late from work
Jason: No you aren't! You aren't leaving me with this alone!
Lian: Can I stay at someone else’s tonight?
Jason: NO
Damian: You can come by mine Lian
Jason: I'm being abandoned
— 2:45 pm, April 18th —
Duke: Update: We are not getting back together
Stephanie: You ok?
Duke: Yeah
Duke: Weirdly relieved
Cass: Good
Dick: Let us know if you need anything