Chapter Text
Matt had convinced Bruce that he should get his blood checked since he was doing a bunch of blood draws for Senior Health Day anyway. He knew that Bruce didn't love needles. Serena had told him all about that. But the optimist that Matt was, he was committed to care for Bruce's health.
So now they were in the next best exam room, Bruce sitting on one of the beds and Matt preparing to draw Bruce's blood.
"Matt, I still think this is unnecessary! I'm feeling fine! I'm doing like 10 other types of screenings a month"
"Everyone should get their blood checked at some point Bruce… I worry about you", Matt gently disinfected the crock of Bruce's arm.
"Okay, well… how about you?! I'm not the one of us that's pale and a little sickly looking all the time! How's your iron, huh?", Bruce scoffed, starring at Matt.
"My blood is fine, I got it checked just last month", Matt mumbled, shrugging his shoulders.
He grabbed the needle, slowly moving it towards Bruce's arm.
Bruce shook his head, before he pulled away his arm from Matt: "Nope, we're not doing that… not because I'm scared of course"
Matt sighed, the worry in his eyes only growing bigger. Bruce was surprised since most people just grew annoyed with him and let him go.
"Bruce, please… when was the last time you got your blood checked?"
"When I was nineteen and it was awful and to be frank I don't see a reason to repeat that"
"Good lord, that's really long ago!"
"How old do you think I am?", Bruce sounded a little offended.
"I— uhhh— maybe like–"
"Never mind, doesn't matter. Point is—", Bruce untied the tourniquet Matt had just carefully tied around his arm a minute ago, "we're not doing this"
"Hang on", Matt stopped Bruce from getting up by holding his hand against Bruce's chest, "why was it awful?"
"Well, number one it hurt and number two I passed out afterwards. All these people saw me like that. I don't need that to happen again, especially not at work", Bruce pushed Matt's hand to the side and got up.
"Very little resistance in your arm there bud, you should really check if you're not iron deficient!", he mumbled as he was leaving the room.
"I wasn't trying to resist!", Matt defended himself.
Matt couldn't let Bruce leave like that! This was a classic case for Hospital Man!
Bruce isn't so different from a scared kid, Matt thought to himself. He ran over to his locker where he still kept the costume. He was a little proud of his creation that had evolved over the years.
Once changed into his outfit, Hospital Man slipped out of the locker room to find Bruce.
"Doctor Bruce, no need to fear the needle! Hospital Man is here to save you!", he declared with heavy voice, finding Bruce leaning over the nurses station.
"Matthew! Stop that! Whatever you're doing, everyone's looking"
"Oh, sorry– but I have an idea how to help you!", Hospital Man looked around, lowering his voice.
Bruce shoved Matt into one of the side hallways to avoid further attention: "Oh yeah, really?"
"Yeah! I was thinking: if you lay down in one of the on call rooms we'd be alone! If you eat some food afterwards your circulation should be fine, so no passing out! And I promise you it won't hurt!", Hospital Man gesticulated wildly with his hands, excited about his solution.
Realizing that Matt wouldn't let him get away, Bruce gave in. "I guess we can try that", he sighed.
"Nice! You go and make yourself comfortable in the on call room and I'm getting everything"
A couple of minutes later, a heavily panting Hospital Man stumbled through the door of the on call room opposite Joyce's office.
"Got everything! You comfortable?", Hospital Man set a nutrageous bar onto the night stand together with a bowl with syringe and everything.
"Me comfortable", Bruce mocked Hospital Man, who didn't even notice.
He sat down on Bruce's bedside, carefully re-tying the tourniquet around Bruce's arm. Hospital Man whispered whatever he was doing to himself like he was reading an instruction manual that only he saw infront of his inner eye.
"tying the tourniquet, disinfecting the area–"
Somehow, Bruce felt like he was seven years old again and staying home sick, his father taking care of him. For a second, Bruce got uncomfortable with how vulnerable he really was right now.
Until he remembered that the only person with him was Matt. He felt how his shoulders relaxed, Matt's whispering having actually a quite calming effect on him.
"Any uhh stick-able vein you're seeing?", Bruce cleared his throat.
Hospital Man's voice was soft and calm, his fingers ran over the crock of Bruce's arm to find the right vein: "Yeah, you've got a lot! Nice veins Bruce, really a shame you don't let anyone ever use them"
A bright smile spread on Hospital Man's face, the edges of his lips disappearing under the face mask he used as an eye mask."Okay, I've got a a really good one. Are you ready?"
"Actually Matt", Bruce closed his eyes and swallowed hard, "could you hold my hand"
"Uhh– of course Hospital Man can do that! I don't know who that Matt guy is though…", Matt Hospital Man laid his hand into Bruce's.
"I'm going in now, alright?"
"Mhm", Bruce pinched his eyes together, nodding slightly.
He very lightly felt Matt doing something around his arm but nothing even hurt remotely.
"Bruce", Hospital Man whispered, "I'm going to need my second hand for a second, okay?"
"Sure", hesitantly Bruce let go of Hospital Man's hand.
Again, Hospital Man's hands touched something on his arm, not even the hint of pain. Bruce heard Matt rip open the packaging of a band aid, then applying it to his arm.
"You're done!"
"Huh?", Bruce slowly opened his eyes, "are you sure you just drew my blood? Let me see!"
Hospital Man presented Bruce with the little blood tubes: "See?"
Bruce was speechless. A little disorientated, he blinked surprised.
"Nutrageous?", Matt offered him the chocolate bar.
"Yeah, thanks", Bruce mumbled meekly.
Hospital Man shoved his mask under his chin, gently pressing two fingers against Bruce's wrist while he ate the chocolate bar.
Looking very seriously into Bruce's eyes, Hospital Man titled his head: "Your heart rate is a little elevated and you look pale to me right now, so stay here and don't move! I have to give these to Hospital Man's assistant the Phlebotomy Fairy!"
Amused, Bruce chuckled at Matt's commitment to the bit.
"Here Phlebotomy Fairy, I have some blood culture tubes for you to take care of!", Bruce heard Hospital Man muffled behind the half closed door.
A response in a artificially higher pitched voice followed: "Thank you Hospital Man, I will take care of that! I, the Phlebotomy Fairy, am so proud of Bruce getting over his fear of needles and taking care of his health!"
Hospital Man agreed: "Yes, you're right! Bruce can be very proud of himself!"
Then, also muffled, Joyce's voice appeared: "Matt, what are you doing?"
"Oh, er, I was actually just helping Bruce—"
"Yeah whatever, get back to work"
"Yes ma'am"
Hospital Man slipped back into the on-call room.
"How are you feeling?", Hospital Man began taking Bruce's pulse again.
Bruce smiled: "I'm fine, Hospital Man"
"Yeah, you look better. Wanna sit up slowly?", he asked.
His hands carefully supported Bruce's back as he turned around and sat up.
"Thank you", Bruce muttered.
"Nahh, no prob! That's what Hospital Man does!"
"I think Hospital Man should go back to the seniors if he doesn't want Joyce to get angry with him", Bruce advised.
"Are you sure you're going to be fine?" Hospital Man asked concerned.
"Brucey is always fine, you should know that by now!"
Hospital Man, got up, collection his utensils: "Hey, but be careful!"
"I am, I am", Bruce nodded.
Hospital Man leaned back into the room: "I totally forgot to summon the medical leagues, I hope that's not too bad"
"No, that's fine, that's good! You can remember next time"
"Matt", Joyce walked past the door again, not pausing her walk, "what are you still doing here?"
"Uhh, I'm coming, I'm coming", Hospital Man sprinted after her and disappeared into the bright florescent hospital lights.