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There it was again.
That burning. That deep itch in his skin he had been feeling every time he…teleported? Time traveled? Loki still wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he despised it.
He just needed to talk to someone- anyone would do at this point. Mobius had been a dead end. Loki had managed to slip into some version of the TVA, but it still wasn’t the right one. He could feel his flesh unrending itself as the burning turned into a deep blaze.
Like a whisper in the breeze, Loki was gone as soon as he came.
++++++++++
Loki rammed into the wall of a room he didn’t recognize, heaving for a sliver of air. He blinked furiously as he attempted to process the blurry scene before him.
The Avengers stared back at him, open mouthed like a sea of fish. You could’ve heard a pin drop with how suffocating the silence was. Whatever conversation they were in had come to an immediate stop at the sight of him.
“…I’ll take it I should be dead?” Loki raised his hands as a gesture of placidity.
Norns, this is the worst place he could have ended up. Why- why with the Avengers? Why with him? Loki had tried so hard to shove away the thoughts of how his life could have been with Thor.
Asgard’s golden boy looked worse than Loki had ever seen him. His brother had lost any semblance of fitness, with long matted hair covering his face. And he was…shaking. Shaking with rage or shock, Loki couldn’t quite tell.
Thor roared as he lunged towards Loki, lightning pulsating behind his eyes. All the other Avengers had stood from their seats, braced to grab their weapons. Thor grasped tightly onto Loki’s damaged collar. He could
see tears beginning to run down Thor’s face, and the stench of alcohol had become impossible to ignore from this distance. “What are you? Some sort of trick sent from the Mad Titan to mock me?”
“I-“ Loki attempted to wriggle out of his brother’s grasp. Thor only tightened his hold, teeth bared. “I can assure you I am not.”
“FRIDAY’s not picking up anything besides Asgardian energy from him.” Tony exhaled sharply, frowning as he looked at the Starkpad. It seemed inconceivable Loki could have even survived the attack from what Bruce and Thor described. Then again, Loki was always a slippery one.
Thor’s grip somewhat slacked, his hands practically vibrating with how much he was shaking.
“Do you enjoy seeing me in pain, brother?” Thor growled as he dipped his head. “I have gone years without a single living family member. I- I held your body in my arms....” His voice rattled like a broken bell as he recounted the story.
“There is no trick, Thor.” His brother looked up to make eye contact once more. “Whatever version of me you knew is truly and earnestly dead.”
“Then…then how?” Thor finally released his hold on Loki, his eyes glassy. He played everything over in his mind like he had a million times before, desperately trying to conceive a way Loki could have made it out.
“Version of you?” Steve raised an eyebrow at that. Natasha and Banner hadn’t said a word, scrutinizing Loki like he was a lab rat. Frankly, he was surprised Barton hadn’t shot him point blank. Loki paused for a moment, attempting to steady his heartbeat.
“…I really must be going.” Loki opted for instead as he quickly made his way to the door. Now would be a delightful time for his newfound time travel abilities to bail him out of here. He couldn’t stay. He couldn’t stand to look at how desperate Thor was to keep him.
It wasn’t him that Thor wanted- it was his real brother. Loki didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he had to address the whirlwind of emotions swirling through his stomach. He wanted to get the Hel out of here and find a way to fix the timeline.
“Not so fast, Reindeer games.” The door shut as Tony pressed a button on his Starkpad. Loki muttered a curse under his breath. “I think you owe everyone here more of an explanation than that- especially those two.” He gestured towards Thor and Bruce.
Loki hadn’t quite been able to read Bruce’s expression. It seemed something akin to hauntedness with..relief underneath? He didn’t want to think too hard about it.
He had so much to think about. He Who Remains was gone, war was coming, none of his friends remembered him, and he was surrounded by people who hated him-
“I really can’t stay. I’m not even supposed to be here.” Loki ignored Stark’s request. He finally locked eyes with Barton, who was glaring at him burning hatred.
“How did you get in?” Barton spat as he drew out his bow.
“I’m not quite so sure myself.”
“And what does that mean?” Clint demanded, venom lining his words.
“Well I-“ His sudden cry echoed through the conference room. The Avenger’s watched in horror as Loki’s entire body seemed to tear itself apart into a mass of flesh.
He reappeared only a few seconds later on the opposite side of the room, gasping for air. Loki leaned on the nearby wall until his legs were steady again.
“That’s how I got in here.” He responded as he desperately tried to catch his breath. It couldn’t look that bad, right? Because half of the Avengers look about ready to vomit.
“Does that hurt? That looks like it hurts.” Tony’s nose wrinkled as he cringed.
“Of course not.” Loki insisted as though Tony was stupid for even asking. “Can’t even feel it, really.”
“What is…what is happening to you, brother?” Thor furrowed his brow in concern. He approached and placed a tentative hand on Loki’s back, as though he feared Loki was intangible.
“I am not your brother.” Loki began to remove Thor’s hand.
“Loki, I don’t care that you’re a Frost Giant. You are still-“ Thor seemed deeply hurt by the notion that Loki still could not consider them brothers after everything they had been through.
“No no, I’m serious. I am not your brother, nor am I whatever Loki you all knew.” He had successfully pried Thor’s hand off of his back. “I’m a variant.”
Silence.
“Variant?” Romanov cocked her head to the side, skepticism leaking through her tone. Loki looked at the projections of the Infinity Stones in disbelief. These were Earth’s most competent defenders! There was no way they had done all that without even a conceived notion of how the timeline was meant to function. Sure the TVA kept itself hidden, but these were all very paranoid people.
“Hold on-“ Loki pointed at the holographs. “You’re telling me you did all this without any knowledge of the Sacred Timeline?”
“Did?” Natasha caught on immediately. Steve and Thor raised their eyebrows- they hadn’t noticed Loki’s word choice. “As in it’s already happened?”
“Sacred Timeline?” Tony’s expression hardened. “Loki, when are you from?
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. Could he even tell them? Would it bring their timeline to ruin? Or did none of it matter with the death of He Who Remains?
“I am a byproduct of what happens when you stray off the path of the timeline.” He said after a moment of tense silence. “I am a…version of your brother who got to live because I strayed off my path. I’m not truly your Loki, even if I seem similar.”
“See I don’t-“ Tony sat down and crossed his legs. “like the language you’re using here. ‘Strayed off my path.’”
“If it’s your time travel you're concerned about, you’re supposed to do that.”
“There it is again!” Tony slapped the table. “Supposed to. Like there’s rules. How do you even know about we’re about to time travel?”
“There are rules, Stark.” Loki bit back bitterly. At least there had been rules. He tried to ignore the lurch of anxiety in his chest at the thought of He Who Remains.
“He’s lying.” Clint still hadn’t put down his bow and arrow.
“I can assure you, Agent Barton-“
“Don’t call me that.” He growled.
“I can assure you, Barton. I am being the most truthful I have ever been.” Loki raised his hands once more. “Really, I’m not supposed to be here.”
“But we still grew up together, did we not?” Thor stirred quietly.
“…We did, yes.” Loki fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve. “A version of me, at least.”
“Then you are still my brother.” Thor offered a strained smile. The years had truly worn down on him, despite it being such an inconsequential amount of time compared to their lifespans. Thor grabbed his younger brother and wrapped him in a tight embrace.
Loki could not remember the last time Thor had hugged him. Perhaps the other version of him had received his brother’s affections, but this felt foreign in comparison to the last memories he had with his brother. He let himself melt into the embrace, pushing down for just a moment the guilt that he didn’t deserve this.
It was nice to pretend, at least.
It was nice to pretend that he could stay here and ignore the unraveling of time itself as variants scrambled to fill the power vacuum. It was nice to pretend that his brother truly needed him.
Barton finally put down his weapon after Natasha silently pleaded with him. Despite their resignations, the Avengers knew Thor needed this more than anything.
“You’re injured.” Thor finally said as he broke their embrace. Loki had forgotten about the trickle of blood coming from his head.
“It’s been a long day.” Loki sighed. Perhaps the grossest understatement of the century.
“I didn’t think it was possible for you to wear something so plain.” Tony quipped, eyeing Loki’s button up. It was such a heavy contrast from the extravagant fabrics of gold and emerald Loki had been bathed in. “Anyways, I think we need more of an explanation from you as to how you’re here. You’re from the..future? Past? Future past?” He waved his hand somewhat dismissively, but you could see the thrum of anxiety humming through his body.
“If there’s rules, someone has to be enforcing them.” Steve commented as he crossed his arms. “Do they possess a time stone of some sort?”
Loki barked out a hollow laugh, and watched as a shiver ran through everyone in the room. Right, the Infinity Stones still meant something for these people. They weren’t just paper weights; they were the powers of the universe in the hands of someone Loki had feared so deeply.
“I fear for what could happen to your future if I tell you.” He hoped they could hear his sincerity. Loki had no desire to destroy the Avengers anymore. He wasn’t sure if he ever truly had- all of New York was a muddled mess in his memories.
“God, you sound like Stephen.” Tony muttered under his breath.
“But there is something out there, stronger than Thanos?” If Bruce weren’t so green, Loki could imagine he’d be quite pale right now. Natasha’s mask of composure had been draining with each word Loki uttered. How could they ever prepare to defend Earth from something stronger than Thanos when they had already lost so poorly?
“I’m afraid so.” Loki sighed. Thanos only existed because He Who Remains allowed it. He wasn’t lying per say, he just wasn’t mentioning that the position was pretty vacant right now. Adding more onto the Avenger’s plate could ruin their plans, and Loki had no desire to be responsible for more deaths right now.
“What could be stronger than someone controlling the Infinity Stones?” Barton’s distrust of Loki was glaringly obvious, but even he seemed somewhat inclined to take Loki’s word. Tony sighed, and ran his hands over his face.
“If he’s not just making everything up, then he can’t tell us.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “And for some reason I…don’t think he’s lying. Which is insane considering it’s Loki of all people.”
“I hate to say it, but I don’t think he’s lying either.” Natasha conceded reluctantly. She had been trained to spot a liar and for once in his life, Loki seemed truthful.
Thor was just staring at Loki, a thousand unspoken words whispering in the glint of his eyes. There was so much he wanted to say, but he had no idea what this version of his brother had experienced. Did he know how important he had been to Thor?
Did he know that despite everything, he loved him?
“I don’t...” Thor bit his tongue as he stumbled over his words. “Must you really go?”
Loki heard the unspoken part. I still need you.
“I don’t belong here, brother.” Loki closed a tight fist. A horrible part of him wanted to stay. He could ignore the threat of a multiversal war, and pretend that helping the Avengers would mean anything in the long run. Perhaps He Who Remain’s variant had even disappeared in the snap, leaving one timeline safer.
Loki could feel himself tearing apart again, but this time it wasn’t so sudden. He could sense it in the pressure building up under his skin.
“I am blessed that the sun could shine on us once more, even if only for a moment.” Thor placed a gentle hand on Loki’s shoulder. He could feel Thor was trying to steady his shaking hands, tears pinpicking at the corner of the blonde’s vision. “Even if...even if you’re not him. You’re still my brother.”
“Thank you, Thor.” Loki offered a smile as began slipping away.
The sun had set, and Thor was alone again.