Work Text:
Seeing Hat Guy this still was completely jarring.
When the two of them traveled together after getting out of Simulanka, they were always on the move. Durin had to learn to fly even faster than he’s used to just to catch up with him. And even when they rested after a day of moving from place to place, Durin never really caught him asleep for too long.
Hat Guy had said then that he was a light sleeper. Durin never really believed that. Once, he had woken up in the middle of the night only to catch a glimpse of him sitting beside him, wide awake. Durin already had his own mental notes on his best friend, ones he never really said out loud and this was just one of the many points. Hat Guy didn’t really sleep because he needed it, but to maintain this human image.
And yet now, when Durin had surged forward, his hands finding themselves pressed against his friend’s cheeks and calling his name… trying to coax him awake— Hat Guy remained in this unresponsive stasis. Something inside Durin near broke when no smart comment or dismissive wave of him came from his friend despite his hands holding those cold cheeks.
Miss Sandrone had explained everything to him and Albedo, corroborated by the Traveler. That Hat guy had offered a solution (heck, Durin was the one who guessed it was Hat guy who volunteered), and that it was the Traveler who he had trusted to make the decision of trusting Sandrone with his core. The same core that made Hat Guy who he was. And if anything went horribly wrong… He would lose everything, his power, his memories…
For the first time, Durin felt a surge of unmistakable despair. And rage.
The colors shifted in his eyes for a moment, pupils becoming thinner. Darker.
Because why didn’t Hat guy tell him about this? Why is he going around sacrificing himself like this— why is he leaving him— why, why, why—?!
Then just as sudden, his mind quieted.
It had taken just another moment, a hitch of his breath for those same eyes to dilate back to normal. Back to the soft magenta hues. Because he can’t fall apart here. His breath was shaky, but he only had to breathe deeply and exhale once.
Calm down, calm down… He had told himself.
This was the Traveler they were talking about. One of his first friends. He also trusted him and his decisions. Especially with everything that they went through, with everything the Traveler has done for him too… Durin trusted Traveler with his life just as much.
And if it meant trusting Miss Sandrone with the very essence of his best friend because the Traveler said so… then he’ll punch down these wretched feelings deep down in his gut. Because he owed him that, at least.
“Is… Is Hat Guy going to be okay?” It was the only thing he could ask in that tense moment.
Logically, Hat Guy should be fine. At least that was what Miss Sandrone said. That for as long as the core would be put back in his body, things will be fine. But believing that there was no risk was unrealistic, something Albedo had told him as well. Miss Sandrone had said if anything went wrong, he might not even recover from this stasis.
The thought only spiraled further, and everything was starting to sound like he was underwater.
His gaze was fixated on the way Hat Guy meditated, how blue his hair actually was. Like he was memorizing how each strand fell, how each purple streak was cradled between expanse of blue.
His hand, still on the other’s cheek slid down, gloved fingers caressing the slim curve of his neck, down the thin dark fabric of his turtleneck to press against his chest. It didn’t beat like normal human chests did but Durin normally could still feel him. Feel him alive, like every night when he pressed his ear against Hat Guy’s chest when they rested together when they travelled before.
Those fingers trembled against the still chest. Durin couldn’t feel anything this time.
All the conversation around him was muffled, like cotton was stuck into his ears. He continued to stare, continued to watch.
Please move—
It was only when he felt a hand on his shoulder did he whip his head around.
What greeted him was the face of someone he knew, tense with guilt he had learned to read. He’d seen it from the way he’d accompany Klee when she was being sent to that room alone to self-reflect. But just for a moment until she was gushing about new bombs and trinkets. He’d seen it in the faces of other people around Mondstadt when things didn’t go the way plans would.
He learned what guilt looked like on faces when promises were broken. But he’d never thought he would ever see it on the Traveler’s when he looked at him.
“Look after Hat Guy for me, okay?”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t like that the Traveler was looking at him that way. Made his stomach clench a little worse. He was sure he was making that same guilty expression on his face.
“No, I… Please don’t look at me like that, Traveler… I— I’ll be okay. I— Albedo and I will protect him with everything we got, okay…? It’s… It’s not like you forced him to do it, he’s just that kind of person—“
He couldn’t stop rambling, thoughts pouring out of his mind. He was fine, this is all going to be fine. So why couldn’t he stop this churning in his gut—
“I know, still, I’m sorry,” The Traveler’s comforting voice broke through his thoughts and Durin blinked up at him, whose golden eyes are telling of the years he lived and yet he was still as human as he can be. “We will win this and he’ll be back before we know it.”
Durin could just nod, swallowing that lump in his throat again to dampen this sickening feeling. Yes, things will be fine. Hat Guy will be fine too.
Durin made sure nothing came close to the Curatorium.
He razed all those monsters that tried to bring destruction to them with his Pyro. Because at that moment, he couldn’t find it in himself to keep this churning in his gut still. He had to let it out somehow.
He thought he was already okay after they finished his mom’s storybook. He had even forgotten it at the moment because Hat Guy had been so good at explaining it away. But it hit Durin harder than he had expected when he saw Hat Guy in his current state. Because why would he ever think that Durin would be better off without him? He hadn’t been able to voice it at that moment because Hat Guy did admit he was wrong for even thinking about it. But still…
Still.
Why did he do this then? Didn’t even let him see him before doing this? Didn’t even let him say anything before he took out his core.
What if he didn’t wake up?
Durin didn’t even realize until his throat felt sore that he was yelling, his hand scorching with Pyro as he surged forward, eyes blazing. In his carelessness, he didn’t notice a monster twice his size had manifested behind him, looming over him like an executioner. It swung its strong arm, slamming in full force at the back of his head strong enough to make him fly through the air.
It was excruciating.
He flung right across the plaza, rolling over the dirt a few paces away. A gasp was sharply pulled from his throat as he slammed one last time onto the metal slabs. He didn’t know if he was bleeding, but he did feel something wet. Tears or blood, he didn’t really care to check. But he was pushing himself off the ground, breath shaky.
When he opened his eyes, it was a blur of red. He didn’t really think about it, merely channeled the anger and despair onto every horde of monsters that tried to occupy empty homes. Keeping them away from where his best friend was in.
Because this was the only thing he can do right now.
He didn’t stop, obliterating every monster that shouldn’t exist into oblivion. Slicing his sword through every abomination that tried to kill him. He didn’t keep himself still until everything was surely over, until he saw a familiar figure at a distance. Then two. And more.
He lifted his head, didn’t understand why there was something wet rolling down his face. He felt a momentary change in his balance and soon… He was meeting the ground once more.
Black greeted him with cold, open arms.
When he had woken up, he was greeted by the floating figure of Paimon hovering over his face.
He blinked a few times, trying to remember what had happened. He remembered he was fighting… Then smashing through the ground by something he hadn’t noticed.
Ah… He passed out, didn’t he?
He didn’t have another second to think because the moment his vision focused; her soft squeal pierced the air.
“Durin’s awake too!” She had called out. She looked like she was about to fly out to tell whoever was around, but she suddenly stopped at the sound of a soft groan. Durin had tried to sit up at that moment, hand coming up to cup where a sharp pain had hit him, before ebbing out into a numb throb.
He’s feeling something soft wrapped around his head, strands of hair peeking from the gaps of the overlapping cloth. Oh, those are bandages.
“Ahh! Don’t fiddle with those, it’ll come loose! You were in a pretty bad state when we found you, Durin! Are you okay? Do you need some water, or—“
“I-I’m okay, Paimon…” He whispered quietly, his throat a little raspy. Maybe he did need some water after all, but it wasn’t what he was thinking of at that moment.
Just how long has he been asleep?
“What happened? Did we win?” Durin moved to sit up properly, the initial pain already gone. Paimon had rushed to get him some water too which he was grateful for.
“Yeah! Lots of things already happened but I think it’s better for someone else to tell you more—“
“Durin, you’re awake.”
Both Paimon and Durin turned their heads to the other voice. Durin’s eyes widened for a moment before his lips were pursing together.
Albedo always kept a calm demeanor. He was patient and kind, patient enough to be hauling both him and Klee around, patient enough to be able to take on students despite his own studies to do and even teach Durin in the absence of Miss Lisa back in Mondstadt. But even he can tell that there was this subtle weariness in his brother’s face. Like he had been worked to the bone or such.
Durin was almost afraid to ask him if he was able to get any sleep.
“Albedo… I—“
“You shouldn’t have been as reckless as you were.” He felt the reprimand in his brother’s voice, his shoulders stiffening at his words.
That’s right… While he was off killing abyssal monsters in the distance, Albedo had been stationed nearer the Curatorium. Durin did remember he had gone to the plaza when things grew more hectic there so when he had passed out, there was no way for Albedo to know what happened to him until someone brought him here.
Wait—
“Hat Guy! Is he—“ He choked up in his own saliva, wincing more from the way he lifted his head too fast and the throbbing came back.
“Take it easy. You suffered from an extreme head injury from the battle, and you still need to rest,” Albedo chided as he approached the young dragon, his gloved hands checking the bandages if they came loose or if they needed any changing.
Paimon seemed to get the atmosphere between them, chirping about informing the others of Durin’s condition before speeding off. It was then that they were both left alone in the lobby of the Curatorium.
As Albedo started to unravel the bandages to replace them, Durin sat still on that couch, his expression still twisted in the anxiety that had built up despite only waking up minutes earlier. Paimon hadn’t explained anything, did she mean to say that it’s better for him to ask Albedo? He opened his mouth, hesitating for a moment. There really was one thing he wanted to know.
“Albedo—“
“It’s been two days since the culmination of that battle with Dottore,” Albedo started, without letting Durin finish his question. Durin fell silent, urged to listen, clamming his mouth shut. Despite the soft tone, he knew not to interrupt.
Albedo told him about everything. The plan had been a success, that Miss Columbina was now back with them, Dottore was gone… but at the cost of Miss Sandrone’s life. Durin felt that gnawing guilt take root once more. Because he was angry at her for risking Hat Guy’s core. But now, he knew that despite the risks, she had taken all the precautions she could put. And even paid the ultimate price for it.
How could he not feel guilty when she did her utmost to keep the core safe?
“She planned for all possibilities and we can only respect her all the more for it,” Albedo continued as he finished fastening the bandage around Durin’s head, taking care not to make it too tight especially around his horns. “There’s no reason to feel guilty for the choices she made but I understand if you do.”
Durin didn’t say anything but he wondered if Albedo knew how he felt, that’s why he understood him. He tampered the guilt down. Probably something he needed to process another time.
“Albedo, is he…” Durin swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked up at him. His hand went up to touch the soft bandage, eyes drifting down to his lap. His own feelings had been so out of control that he just can’t help but hone in on one thing only.
Hat Guy’s condition.
Albedo looked at him. Durin felt like he was being studied under his gaze, a natural thing to feel when it came to his brother. He closed the first aid box shut.
“Hat Guy woke up a few hours ago, he’s currently with the Traveler at the moment,” Albedo said, “I’m sure they won’t mind. And I’m positive that he also wants to make sure you’re alright as well.”
That was all he needed to know. He nearly went flying out of the couch but he knew he'd get scolded again if he moved too fast. He didn’t want to have another dizzy spell to top it off.
Carefully, he pushed himself to his feet. And approached the room where Hat Guy had been staying in. He seemed to forget himself and merely pushed the door open without knocking.
The view inside made something hot and fierce clutch his chest.
It was only Hat Guy and the Traveler standing in that room, speaking quietly enough that Durin couldn’t hear anything they were saying. All he knew, all that mattered was seeing how close they stood with each other.
He could see the way the Traveler was cradling the boundary between Hat Guy’s neck and his shoulder, the gentle curve of skin there. And Hat Guy’s hand, settled against the slim waist of the Traveler. They held each other in that way like it was the most natural thing in the world. It probably was. He could see they were speaking with each other, and with the Traveler’s back to the door, he couldn’t see his expression. But he did see the gentle expression on Hat Guy’s face. Since when did he look like that?
Did he ever look at Durin like that?
He didn’t notice the way he had stepped forward, not paying mind to how he accidentally pushed the door more and so suddenly, the creak of it alerting his presence.
The scraping of the door against the floor made the two people in the room turn their heads at the sound and Durin almost felt bad for interrupting what moment they had.
The darker recess of his mind preened in contrast.
He’s mine, mine, mine—
Durin barely snapped himself out of it with a small keen.
Traveler took a step back, his hand falling away from Hat Guy’s shoulder to turn and look at Durin fully with a smile. Durin’s gaze fixated all the more on Hat Guy’s hand not falling away from the Traveler’s bare waist just yet until the blonde gave a nod to the puppet, who merely nodded in return before letting go.
The Traveler approached Durin with a smile, with Durin feeling a little more timid at his open personality. Because just what was that horrible feeling he had when he had seen Hat Guy and Traveler together? He knew he shouldn’t have reacted that way but…
He just didn’t understand why he was like this.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone to catch up,” Oh Traveler is so nice and understanding. It made him all the more guilty for whatever this ugly thing that manifested inside him made him feel.
The door closed behind Durin and he didn’t dawdle. As soon as it was just the two of them, he surged forward, another dizzy spell coming up before he was stumbling into his best friend’s arms.
Hat Guy had been alert, thankfully. So he had easily caught him, a small breath choking out of him.
“Hey be careful, you idiot! What the hell is wrong—“
“Are you okay? You still remember me right? No reset?” A flurry of questions spilled out of Durin’s mouth and he couldn’t control them. “I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up, I—“
“You trust me that little?” Hat Guy’s sharp voice pierced through his thoughts and Durin found himself stiffening, his head against his friend’s shoulder. Like this, his face was hidden so Hat Guy would see the way his face twisted in anguish. No, no, he trusted him, he trusted him—
“What the hell happened to you, squirt?”
Durin felt the way that same hand, the same one holding the Traveler’s waist earlier, card through his hair, his friend’s arm wrapped around him in this imitation of a hug just to feel the back of his head. He could feel him caress the fresh bandages around his head.
“I— It was an injury, nothing bad… Albedo already took care of it—“ He stammered but he could hear the exasperation in Hat Guy’s voice.
“No, you were probably reckless. Flying around like nothing could hurt you. You know you’re supposed to watch your backside, I’m not going to be there to protect you all the time—“
“And whose fault is that?! You took a much bigger risk yourself!” Durin lifted his head, staring straight at Hat Guy’s eyes with something he never had before. Anger.
The pain and frustration… and all that anxiety came bursting out. Because why would he risk doing that? If something went wrong, he could’ve died without having said anything. Without saying goodbye.
Indigo eyes narrowed at a point where their gazes met, as if Durin was a petulant child. He wasn’t, he had reasons to be angry at him right now. Hat Guy’s voice let out an annoyed groan and Durin took in his expression like he was desperate to drink it up.
“Sandrone explained to you, didn’t she? Or at least Ae— The Traveler did,” in that moment, there was something that faltered in Hat Guy’s gaze that only made something twist in Durin’s gut even more. “It’s a necessary move. If I hadn’t lent my core—“
“I know that but why didn’t you tell me? Am I.. Am I not as important?” He was shaking now, hands clutching his friend’s clothes in his grip. Everything was coming into bursts and he felt that familiar wetness before. Did his head injury get jostled enough that it was bleeding again? He had been moving around a lot so—
He was snapped out of it when he felt hands on his cheeks. He blinked slowly, breath hitching in a way he couldn’t seem to stop. The exasperation in Hat Guy’s eyes seemed to be replaced with something Durin had been well acquainted with the past week.
Guilt.
“Ugh, I’m fine, aren’t I? So why are you crying?”
… Is that what the wetness had been? He nearly scrambled to touch his face, but he couldn’t, not with the other’s hands already cradling his face, thumb swiping over the dribbles of salty tears making tracks down his cheeks. He couldn’t stop for a while, merely sniffing and sobbing as his best friend wiped them away. He didn’t tell him to stop crying so Durin didn’t. Only when it all seemed to dry up after a while.
Only soft hiccups racked his body but eventually, even that ebbed away.
At this point, Hat Guy was rubbing his back, up and down… Like a rhythm that he found comfort in. The same kind of caressing that he received even back when he was still a little dragon resting against his friend’s chest when they travelled before. He realized that at some point, Hat Guy did somehow care for him, a kind of comfort he felt when his mother was still around.
But it didn’t soothe everything else he had felt.
He buried his head more into Hat Guy’s shoulder, hands clutching around his body in a desperate embrace, fingers clinging to the back of his jacket.
“If you’re gonna do something reckless… You have to tell me…” He mumbled quietly, slightly muffled into the curve of his shoulder. The same one the Traveler had his hand on. There was something that churned in his gut again but it didn’t feel… bad.
More like satisfaction.
“You’re my first friend, Hat Guy… I— I don’t want any regrets when it comes to you. Just thinking about you dying alone… Makes me want to die too.” Even if it was the end of the world as it possibly did when they were about to fight Dottore, he’d rather know. Wanted to be there, even if it meant pain.
There was a soft sigh but Hat Guy didn’t say anything else, his hand continuing to caress Durin’s hair. Maybe to him, it was all he needed.
“You’re greedy… Since when did you learn that?” Hat Guy’s voice was exasperated but there was a softness there that Durin would like to believe was fondness. “I’ll try.”
For Durin, that was enough. All he wanted to do at that moment was to bury his face into his neck again, taking in the scent that only he could smell on him.