Chapter Text
(scene 1 act 1) Japan is sitting on his couch inside his home, which is on an island. America knocks on his door.
America: Yo dude! Let me in!
Japan: Hi America, What is it that you need?
America: I uh… scratches head wanted to go…hang out or something. at the diner maybe. it can be like a date dude
Japan:Oh! Uh..Sure then, I'd love to go on a date with you!
America: sweet! all you need to do is come out of your house
Japan:Oh..Uhm, I don't want to. I suppose I could go outside, if that's your wish.
America: dude its just grass eats burger
Japan:Is..Is that a burger? I..Thought you quit eating burgers! Shy, but secretly angry.
America: nah dude you know i cant stop the grind. hahahaha Im to full of myself to stop
Japan: But..You already weigh..Look at the scale mat that japan installed for america 15,000 pounds! You said you quit! anger in eye balls
America: cant see japans eyes well its less than it was before haha
Japan: But- but you're gonna get a heart burn, and a heart attack! And also, you're not normal! In Asia, it is 30 pounds (According to google hong kong) pounds! You're BIG!
America: Well I still have a perfect body and I'm still the hero! Ahhaha
Japan:But I can see your stomach fall out onto the floor! I didn't ask for a burger addict boyfriend! I asked for someone like Russia! NOT FAT!”
America: Dude! Russia is like way fatter than me he uses the big bone excuse like daily
Japan:Well atleast Russia-Kun is good at hiding it, you show your bloating like it's a reality tv show! You know what, I hate you, america-san! I’m not importing anime merchandise to America anymore, until you get less big! Storms out, very angry, very mad, steam coming out ears, wants to date russia instead,
America: Wow. japan seems really upset
((SCENE 2 ACT 1)) AT IKEA
Japan:Dude..I Hate America. He said he'd quit eating burgers for me..I guess it was another joke for him to use..ugh..I miss Russia..ugh. stress eats meatballs
Japan: Ugh, I swear, I'm gonna raise tariffs so America will never ever get anime merchandise again! UGH!!!!!!!!!!
he doesnt know america was standing behind him trying to apologize after quitting again
America: what
Japan: Wait- america! I didnt- i didnt know you were there..
America: Just save it dude! Alright?!
Japan:Wait! America-kun! Im sorry- im not really gonna raise the anime trad-
america runs out of the ikea, his hot breath fogging up his glasses because he cant run 3 feet without getting tired and panting everywhere
Japan: Wait, America! Where did you go! I'm sorry! I was just joking! I'm sorry!
Japan sees America crying in the parking lot
America: im going sniff im going to sniff relapse
Japan:America, Im- im so sorry! I didnt mean to say all those mean words..You're my boyfriend, and..You're also the best thing that ever happened to me, dude.
America: r-really dude..?.??.???.??
Japan:Reall- Is that..a- what's that in your pocket? Don’t tell me- you- you-
Japan points at America's pocket, seeing a small, yet prominent wrapper from Mcdonalds sticking out of it. Mcdonald's Double Big Mac
Japan:You- You ordered a supersized big mac?! You promised me you wouldn't eat it anymore! Ugh! I hate you America, WE’RE OVER! Runs to bar
America: Wait! Japan! ba- dude!! cmon dont be like that! He reaches out only for Japan to run
((SCENE 3 ACT 1))
*The bar is crowded, full of men and people doing the gangnam style, and drinking because it's a bar but whatever. Japan walks in and sits down at one of the stools, ordering a sprite float instead of alcohol because he's a dork. After taking a few sips, a blonde man with a lot of eyebrows and a terrible stench walks in. It's not hard to know that that was, that man IS england*
Japan: I love alcohol. It's better then..whatever freaking america likes..freaking burgers. Ugh.
England: sits next to japan, heavy british accent hey, japan, right? Are you talking about my terrible brother America? You know he's relapsing on his McDonald's addiction. Hahahaha
Japan:England? Do you like alcohol too? Ugh..dont get me started on that fatty. We broke up 2 hours ago. Ugh..so big..
England: 2 hours??!!!? Wow, that's a long time. youre not drinking alcohol that's sprite.
Japan:Well, I am a heavy drinker afterall. Ugh..well, how have you been in England? Your eyebrow layers are increasing from the last world meeting.
England: Well, the doctor prescribed me with new medication for my schizophrenia, and it tastes like blueberry crepes. Maybe that's why my eyebrows are increasing. He takes a sip of beer you shouldn't be drinking on this medication
Japan:Well can I vent to you about America?
England: yeah, of course i hate him
Japan:Well it's just like he always eats burgers, and everytime we go out on a date he always orders burgers. Even when we go out of state! It's always burgers! HEs so American i dont like him anymore, I wish he was like Russia!
England: You know Russia is actually really overweight. But yeah I totally agree! pops pill
Japan:UGH! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! I'M LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!! Japan leaves the bar
England: Damn. He exits through the back door and leans against the wall. He explodes because he drank while on schizophrenia meds. Japan sees him explode
Japan: OH my gosh! I need to tell America England-kun is dead!