Work Text:
Mizi is everything, but she is ruining Sua.
Terribly bad.
At times, Sua sees her outgoing, sunshine-like beauty showering down like the artificial sunsets they have. She’s so beautiful, but she eats away at her like a moth.
Sua knows. She knows Mizi pretends, and doesn’t want her to know about whatever goes on in her life.
Sua hates this.
She hates how Mizi is half open half closed, how Sua wants to believe that she herself is fully locked away, but she can’t.
She feels Mizi’s harsh eyes looking and licking into her heart, prying her ribcage open to see, only for her to back away when she tries to do the same.
Sua knows that Mizi knows.
Sua hates Mizi.
Sua loves Mizi.
She can’t say for sure that she knows Mizi feels the same.
In the back of her mind, she wonders if humanity had such feelings before their fall. If they worshipped one another like gods, only to shy away at the thought of their flesh being exposed to their darling for a second. She wonders if humanity had such complex relationships, she wonders if her relationship with Mizi is normal, and she’s overdramatic. Maybe she thinks too much, and just wasn’t meant to be so greedy for her god.
Sua hates this feeling.
Sua hates how she can’t escape it.
Sua is trapped.
Mizi knows Sua is lying. Sua knows Mizi is lying too, but to what extent?
Mizi has her lies strung on a piece of thread, and she’s using it to hang Sua, and force her to move like a marionette.
She can’t say that she minds that much.
She just wants to understand, this relationship built on lies, would crumble instantly if she offered truth and security.
She wonders if it’s ok for your loved one to slap you, then they go hysteric.
She wouldn’t know.
Her sister had told her love was an ugly thing, and with it, she would become ugly.
Does a half-assed love make her ugly?
She feels bad, but not horrible, for what she’s about to do. She can’t decide if her feelings of regret are directed towards Mizi, or herself. She can’t help but feel sorry for herself, as she used Mizi to keep herself from crumbling.
She doesn’t know if Mizi would do the same.
She wouldn’t.
Right?
“Sua.”
She opens her eyes to the sound of her darling’s voice.
Mizi, in the plain, white, Anakt attire, stares at her, trying to carve her eyes out.
“Don’t be selfish.”