Chapter Text
Atsushi Nakajima slowly walked down the road back to his apartment, not sure if the sluggishness was from the long day at work, or the sudden realization that he had 20 minutes ago.
Atsushi Nakajima, were-tiger of the Armed Detective Agency, was in love with Chuuya Nakahara. Well, technically he had already known that part..
But..
THE Chuuya Nakahara, of the PORT MAFIA!? The Agency’s number one enemy/rival organization!? How could he have let this happen!? Why would his heart betray him (and the Agency) like this!? If the Agency ever found out—
The Agency……
Ranpo…
No. No, no, no, no, no!
Atsushi stopped dead in his tracks, fear gripping at him from every angle. Ranpo knows…He had to. With the reaction Atsushi had made back at the Agency, there’s no way way he didn’t. He may have even known before that, if he had been paying any attention to Atsushi at all in the last couple of months.
Atsushi was just doing work like normal, Kunikida and Ranpo being the only other people in the room at the moment. Kenji and Kyōka were out shopping with Yosano; the Tanizakis had taken the day off; and Dazai was off doing Dazai things with the waitress downstairs—though Kunikida had yelled at him profusely, he quickly realized his attempts were futile and that it would be best to just get back to work.
When Kunikida had handed him a folder to look over, he hadn’t—couldn’t have—expected to see his boyfriend, right there in the list of people involved. It was just a simple report on something that the Port Mafia had done, (what was it even about? He couldn’t remember anymore…), so WHY? Why was his boyfriend on the list of mafia members possibly involved?
As soon as Atsushi’s eyes had landed on the picture, he had frozen, and there was a slight ringing in his ears. Kunikida looked alarmed and came over to steady Atsushi, who hadn’t even realized that he was swaying until he felt Kunikida’s still hand. Atsushi jolted and turned to look at the other man, he knew he had dropped the papers by the sound it made, but other than that he wouldn’t have known, his hands too numb to feel anything.
“You okay, kid?” Kunikida had asked, helping Atsushi sit down.
It had took him a moment to reply, not entirely sure his voice would be there. “Y-yeah, I’m fine…” He sure didn’t sound fine, in fact he sounded like he was about to throw up, and maybe he was. “Just, a bit dizzy…”
Kunikida had given him a skeptical look, so he decided to change his story. “Actually, no. I feel sick…” That got Kunikida’s attention—and Ranpo’s too. It should, out of all the time of being here, Atsushi had never admitted to feeling unwell. Some of them had even speculated that perhaps he couldn’t because of his ability. “I-I think I should probably go home…”
Kunikida had nodded at this, probably happy that Atsushi was finally taking care of himself. (Sorry Kunikida, but this is a one time thing…) “That’s probably for the best, you have been working pretty hard the last few days. And you’ve already finished your work for today—along with some of Dazai’s. Do you need help getting back to your apartment?”
“No, no.” Atsushi had started to stand up, but quickly realized that was a bad idea. Dang it! What do I do?! “Could you…could you just help me down the stairs? I know I can make it home alright,” ‘Cause I’ll have time to myself, time to think. “but I don’t trust myself going down the stairs yet.”
“Of course.” Kunikida had gotten up and helped Atsushi to his feet, then to the stairs, and so on. At the bottom, he asked, “Are you sure you can make it home by yourself? I can call Tanizaki-kun, or Kenji-kun to meet here and help you—
“No, trust me. I feel better already.” He had, but only slightly, and seeing Atsushi pull away and stand there on his own, seemed to convince Kunikida enough to let it go. Well not fully, he still had Atsushi promise to call him when he got there, and if he didn’t call in the next 30 minutes, he was sending someone over to check on him.
Atsushi had tried to convince him that that wasn’t necessary, but he refused to budge and had already started to change his schedule to fit it in. Atsushi felt horrible that he was the cause of Kunikida having to change his plans, but he knew that arguing would’ve been pointless, so he decided to drop it and start his (long) walk home.
Dazai watched all of this with curiosity, pausing his advances on the waitress to stare at the younger. Right…he had forgotten Dazai was down here. He hoped the suicidal, yet smart man wouldn’t look too much into it, but he knew that was like asking a fish to stop swimming. Atsushi just prayed that the older wouldn’t ask him about it—he didn’t think he could keep his mouth shut if he did.
Now that he thought back on it more, when Kunikida had been walking him to the doorway, Ranpo had given him a look of pity, which he had thought was rare for Ranpo. Or, that’s what he had thought at the beginning at least, but now he knew what that look really meant. Suspicion. Disappointment. Disgust. (Disgust from the fact that it was someone in the mafia, or just that it was a man at all, Atsushi didn’t know.) Yeah, Ranpo definitely knows. So what’s going to happen to him now? Will the Agency kick him out for betrayal? Would he go to jail if they found out he was dating someone from the mafia? Do people go to jail for that kind of stuff?
Why didn’t Chuuya ever tell him before? Did he think it just didn’t matter? Or was it that he thought I already knew? Well sorry to break it to you, Chuuya, I didn’t.
…
No….that was a lie….he probably did know, deep down. He just…refused to acknowledge it. Seeing that report just confirmed something he didn’t want to accept.
Atsushi climbed the stairs to his apartment, thoughts running rampant. When he got inside, a heart lurching idea popped into his head and tears sprung in his eyes. He slammed the door closed. Sliding down the door, he put his head in his hands, trying to come up with something—anything—else, but that was the only solution he could think of.
I have to break up with him…
A sob ripped out of him unexpectedly and he couldn’t stop it in time. Quickly throwing a hand over his mouth, he muffled any other noises that could betray him. If anyone heard, he didn’t think he would be able to lie a second time. Thank goodness Kyōka wasn’t home yet, she wouldn’t have let him off easily if she had heard. Gosh, if just the idea hurt this bad…….Can I even do it?
They hadn’t even been dating for that long, only around 3 months, and yet, in that short amount of time, Atsushi had become infatuated with him. He loved everything about Chuuya, from the way he would stare at puppies, and the way he listened to Atsushi rant, to even his short temper. He had fallen in love with him the first time he laid eyes on the older man. How could he have fallen so head-over-heels for someone in that limited amount of time? How—
His phone rang.
At first he was confused, then he was anxious. Kunikida. That’s right! He was supposed to call him when he got home. What do I do?! He would definitely know that Atsushi had been crying, and then he’s gonna come and check up on him anyway. Worse if he got Ranpo to some how do it, then Atsushi really would be screwed. I have to leave! Quit the agency and leave-
No…it wouldn’t matter…Ranpo could find him anywhere…maybe-
No! No! Just answer the phone!!
Hesitantly he reached for his phone and answered. “H-hello?”
“Atsushi-kun?” Kunikida’s voice asked, concerned. “Did you make it back to your residence safely?”
“Yes…”
They both waited for a second. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” Though his voice broke on the last syllable. “Just…I just have a sore throat.”
“…If you say so.” A pause. “Atsu-“
At that, Atsushi hung up. He didn’t want to hear Kunikida’s voice anymore, it was just making him feel more guilty and his stomach kept twisting painfully. I really do feel sick…
Slowly Atsushi got up and walked to the kitchen, filled a glass with cold water, then quickly downed the whole thing. After some debate, he got another one. It made an audible clink as he set it back on the counter. Halfway laying on the counter, he put the cold surface to his face, hoping to clear his mind.
…
How was he even going to break up with Chuuya?
…
Well, the cold obviously wasn’t helping. Sighing, Atsushi got back up and stood in the middle of the kitchen. He felt exhausted, but the closet sounded nauseating at the moment, so he settled for curling up in the corner next to the window instead. If anyone from the Agency were to show up and stuff happened, then this window would probably be his best chance at escaping.
Unable to distract himself any longer, he finally went back to crying, mourning the time he wouldn’t be able to spend with his boyfriend. Eventually he had passed out, the mental strain becoming too much.
Atsushi was on his way to the store, when he accidentally bumped into someone. “Sorry, are you OK?” He apologized, ready to help them if needed.
“Mm-fine!” The other said angrily, he turned to look at Atsushi, a scowl plastered across his face. He had red-ish hair—maybe strawberry blond if the lighting was right—and blue eyes, he was also short, as he had to slightly looking up at the weretiger.
Wow…
“What are you looking at?” The man demanded, walking up to him, though now he just had to look farther up.
Atsushi blushed upon the realization that he had been staring, “I’m sorry, I was ju—” Pause. “Are you drunk?” Now that the man was closer, he could recognize the smell of wine on his breath and the slight red of his cheeks.
“So what?” He said, clearly defensive about it. “Am I not allowed to drink on my day off?”
“No, I was just asking.” Atsushi threw up his hands in defense. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“Hmph.” The man backed down, and then stumbled. Atsushi caught him and asked if he needed help, to which he replied, “I don’t need help from the likes of you!”
Atsushi was smiling as he watched the other, he thought the redhead looked cute—like a puppy, (was that a normal thought to have about another man?). The same one who was currently pouting at his legs, like they dare defy him. Atsushi giggled, which made the older turn his pout on him instead.
“Here,” Atsushi offered his hand, but the red hair just stared at it. “I’ll help you get to where you need to go.”
The shorter one eyed him with suspicion, but either he was too drunk to care or he didn’t see Atsushi as a threat, because he just sighed and took the offer. He told Atsushi how to get to his apartment, and while they were riding the train he asked Atsushi a question. “What’s your name, kid?”
Atsushi hadn’t expected for him to be the one to initiate the conversation, but he went with it, happy for the distraction. “Atsushi Nakajima.”
“Hm.” He seemed to give the younger a side eye—an up-down—but it was so subtle, Atsushi wondered if he imagined it. “Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara.” He said, sleepily.
Nakahara? Where had he heard that name before?
Atsushi was about to ask how old he was, for some reason curious about the man, but Chuuya was starting to nod off and he leaned his head on the younger one’s shoulder for support. Atsushi’s heart did a little flip in his chest when he felt the weight. What was this feeling? It felt like his heart was exploding and squeezing at the same time.
Am I dying!? No, no. Unless he was a masochist—which he might be—this feeling felt too good for it to be death. So there’s no way, it must be something else, but what?
All too soon, they arrived at the station that they needed to get off on and he wakes Chuuya. Well, “wakes” being the more generous term, it was more just him halfway carrying Chuuya out and on to the platform. He walked for a while before stopping and asking, “Nay, Chuuya-san? Where exactly is your apartment?”
“I..already told you…” He mumbled back, still trying to put up a fight. “And…why are you…calling me by my first name?” He stared daggers at Atsushi, or at least tried to, but the way he was looking at him right now just made Atsushi’s heart flip again. (Maybe he really was a masochist…)
Does he get more drunk the longer it’s been? Is that what being drunk is like for everyone? “Sorry, Nakahara-san. But seriously, where do you live? As in apartment number?” Atsushi finished his sentence by looking over at the tall building that they were standing in front of. If Chuuya lived here, than he was even more rich then Atsushi had originally thought.
“506…” Chuuya yawned, and started to fall back asleep.
Atsushi fully picked up Chuuya this time, carrying him piggyback. “Would’ve been nice if you had been more specific of which floor it was on.” He sighed and continued his way into the building. A few people gave him weird looks, but he didn’t mind.
After asking the person at the front desk which floor room 506 was on, he headed to the elevator, then walked the hall until he found the door. If the rest of the building was any clue to what the other side of this door would look like, than Atsushi was sure that he was going to have to pick his jaw up off the floor by the end of this.
“Ch—Nakahara-san, we’re here.” He looked at the older man, shifting him of his back.
Chuuya made a noise as Atsushi moved him, not wanting to leave. Slowly Chuuya opened his eyes and gathered the strength to unlock the door, then he went back to leaning on Atsushi. Taking this as a sign to help again, Atsushi put his arm under the redhead and pushed the door open the rest of the way with his foot. He walked inside and shimmied off his shoes by the door, kicking the door closed.
Standing at the end of the door way, Atsushi stared at the expensive looking apartment with both awe and slight jealousy. There was a nice couch that was seated in the middle of the room, pointed toward a huge tv mounted on the wall; to his left was a counter with bar stools—clearly this was used as the eating area; there was a plant in the corner of the room, and it looked so heathy Atsushi couldn’t tell if it was real or fake; passed the end of the counter was a hallway, which led farther into the suite; and it all looked so open, despite being inside. Clearly this guy knew how to decorate—that or he had a professional come in.
A grunt from Chuuya brought the weretiger back to his current predicament, and he helped sit the other down on the floor, before taking off his shoes. He didn’t know if the man would be angry if he let him into his own house with his shoes still on, even if taking off someone else’s shoes felt embarrassing for some reason.
Not wanting to intrude anymore than necessary, Atsushi carried the red-head to the couch and laid him down, with a few protests from the drunk.
“I’m not going to hold you ‘til you’re sober again,” Atsushi sighed, pealing the man off of him as he tried to ignore the increase of his heart rate. Was he always this clingy when he’s intoxicated? Maybe it was a good thing Atsushi bumped into him, and not some pervert.
Chuuya whined, “It’s cold…” And proceeded to ball Atsushi’s shirt in his fists, trying to keep the pale blond as close as possible—and in doing so, making the weretiger even hotter as his face started to turn red.
“T-then let me just get you a blanket or something!” He whisper-yelled, not sure how sound proof these walls were and not wanting to disturb any sleeping neighbors. He needed to get away from this man, every time he said something or moved closer, Atsushi’s heart would start to stutter. If he was with him for any longer, he’s sure to have a heart-attack! (>////<)
After a little while he finally managed to pry Chuuya off of him and grab a blanket that was folded over the back of the couch, then lay it over him. For a bit he was worried that the red-head was going to still be clingy, but it seemed after he was warm, he fell straight asleep.
Atsushi took a moment to look at the sleeping man’s face, watching how peaceful he was and how his hair looked like a flame around his head. Not noticing he was smiling until he felt his cheeks start to hurt, Atsushi quickly drops the smile, feeling awkward that he was grinning at some random stranger in his sleep. He resists the urge to smack himself as he stands up and paces, trying to figure out why he felt so warm and scatter brained. Seriously, was he about to have a stroke or something?! What were the symptoms of a stroke?
Atsushi sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands, trying to calm down his racing heart—and definitely NOT glancing over at the man sleeping on the couch just to see how beautiful he was like that!!
-…
Wait….
…beautiful? Why would he think Chuuya was beautiful? Isn’t that something that one would use to describe a woman? Not a man….he shouldn’t-…Dazai is always using that term to describe women he likes. Does that mean…Atsushi likes…Chuuya..?
Fear spiked through Atsushi so hard he jumped up and smacked his back into the counter behind him, making him cry out in pain. Chuuya popped up and stared at Atsushi with wide eyes, confusion and shock clear on his face—though still clearly drunk.
Atsushi turned and bolted out the door, face bright red.
Atsushi woke slowly, groggily opening his eyes, even though his heart screamed at him to go back to sleep—the dream of his first meeting with Chuuya being better then the reminder that it had to end. Today. It had to end today. Or he would fall too much in love with the idea to keep Chuuya for himself and drag him down with him to…whatever hell would happen after word spread.
Did the Agency already know? Were they disgusted? Chuuya was a man after all….if…he was a women, or if Atsushi was one…would they be as disturbed? Or….maybe not. He was still technically betraying them…
Atsushi glanced around the room, shocked at how light it was still—though the sky was orange. Checking his phone, he expected it to at least be the next morning, so he groaned when he saw that it was only a little after 7 in the evening. Maybe he would go back to sleep and dream of Chuuya some more.
…No. That sleep offered no rest and he should avoid the thought of Chuuya as much as possible. Why did he need to break up with him anyway? It’s not like he ever talked about him, or let the thought of him distract him while working…so why did breaking up feel like the only option?
Because then my family won’t leave me…
The thought came so suddenly, Atsushi was a bit taken aback by how much he agreed with it. The agency was his family and if they—the first people to show him kindness—saw him as disgusting, as someone that took their kindness at face value, just to turn and stab them in the back….It would hurt just as much as Chuuya thinking that same thing about him…Which he probably will after Atsushi breaks up with him…
Gosh, there was no winning in this situation, was there? It was either stay with Chuuya, and lose the Agency—his family. Or break up with Chuuya—his lover—and keep the Agency.
How do you even break up with someone? Do you just say, “Hey, lets break up?” Or “Don’t call me anymore?” “I don’t want you to know what a selfish and ungrateful person I am, so let’s just end things here so I don’t get abandoned again?”
Is it best to do it in person? Or…maybe he should just call him…No, he should tell him face to face. Chuuya deserves at least that much. Even if it ends in violence…if it got that bad, Atsushi wouldn’t fight back. He knew he deserves anything Chuuya throws at him, whether it be words or fists.
As if summoned by thought alone, a ping goes off on Atsushi’s phone, his heart both simultaneously flying and sinking when he saw the contact name. Chuuya.
Puppy🐾♥️ -
Today 4:23 pm
Hey, kitty!😽 How was work today?🤔 4:23
Atsushi? 4:44
Hey, just text me when you can okay? This is a little late for you…😅 5:31
Today 7:15 pm
U ok? 7:15
Atsushi smiled at the familiar use of emojis Chuuya used. He was always saying that emoji’s were needed because you couldn’t see body language or hear tone of voice through text, and it helped with a lot of misunderstandings.
Before he could properly process the last of Chuuya’s texts, he was responding like normal, the routine so familiar it was hard to stop.
It was okay 7:16
Dazai made me do all his paper work again🫠 7:16
Kunikida wasn’t happy about that and gave me a hand🙃 7:17
Atsushi smacked himself in the head for being so stupid. He always updated Chuuya about his day; how it went, what he did, if something happened at the agency, how he felt afterwards. He loved chatting with him, whether over text, or call. To him, it was just him updating his boyfriend about work, or whatever. But now he realized he was basically just telling the enemy their every move. Might as well just tell him all their addresses while he was at it, it would save time! (Sarcasm, obviously.)
Three dots popped up, indicating that his boyfriend was typing.
Puppy🐾♥️ -
That sounds rough 7:18
…? Why wasn’t he using an emoji?
Why didn’t you text me sooner? 7:18
Atsushi’s heart thumped painfully, and he rubbed his sweating palm on his shorts. Thank goodness Chuuya couldn’t see him through the screen. Slowly, Atsushi typed out the exact words he’d been dreading.
Chuuya 7:21
I think we need to talk 7:23
Atsushi waited, not daring to even breathe. He dreaded the words so much and it physically hurt to send it. Why did he have to be so deeply in love? Why couldn’t his heart and mind work out a better solution? Why was Chuuya taking so long to reply!?
Puppy🐾♥️
… 7:28
I see 7:28
A pang through his heart.
Meet me at XXXXXX 7:29
Now it was panic. Yes, Atsushi said he wanted to talk—no, that they needed to talk—but that didn’t make it any easier to actually go do it. Was he really going to do this?? Break up with Chuuya? Maybe….maybe Chuuya would help him find a way to make it through this? Maybe they could still be together and Atsushi not get shunned and kicked out of the Agency?
No…that was impossible. Even if his colleagues themselves accepted him—which he highly doubted—if his relationship ever got out, it would hurt the Agency’s reputation badly. If the public finds out one of their members was a pansy, the reporters would eat them up, and the people’s trust in the Agency’s judgment would falter. No, forget the part about him being gay, if the public found out he was dating someone in the Port Mafia, the people would have no trust in them what so ever!!
The threats and possibilities were too much for Atsushi to rationally think through. The only escape he could see, the only way this ended up good for everyone—everyone but him—was to break up with Chuuya. Then the Agency wouldn’t be threatened, and he wouldn’t get kicked out—as long as Ranpo hasn’t already said anything.
Chuuya might be a bit sad, but he would get over Atsushi quickly. Besides, Atsushi was never good enough for him anyway. He would find a real relationship, one with a woman, like they were supposed to do, and be even happier than he ever was with Atsushi.
The only one who didn’t get a happy ending was Atsushi. Sure, he might not get kicked out of the Agency, but he was pretty sure he should start looking for a new job tonight. And Atsushi knew he wouldn’t fall in love with anyone else, Chuuya was the only one for him. So if he couldn’t be with him, Atsushi planned to die alone.
Atsushi did have a subdued thought of, “maybe if I dress up real pretty, I could die with Dazai”. But he quickly abandoned that thought process, as Dazai wanted to die with a beautiful woman and Atsushi was most definitely not a woman.
He didn’t know when he started pacing the room, but once he noticed, he knew he was only stalling for time. Seriously, he was the one that said they needed to talk. Now he just needs to suck it up, and rip the bandaid off—though he’s positive it might as well feel like his skin, it’s going to hurt so much.
Taking a deep breath, or five, he pocketed his phone, put his shoes on, and left. This was going to be the worst day of Atsushi’s life—and that was saying something.
It only took ten minutes to walk to the location Chuuya had sent. Atsushi stood outside the doors, confused and a bit panicky, because the place was already closed. Was I too late?
“Yeah, forgot it was Friday.” A voice said behind the blond, and Atsushi whirled around.
“Chuuya-san!” Atsushi squeaked, meeting the older man’s eyes. Still blue and dreamy.
Chuuya was wearing casual-fancy clothes, that was good enough to fit in, but you could still look at him and just know you wouldn’t be able to afford a single thing he was wearing. Well, except for a cute dog bracelet that he always seemed to wear now a days.
Atsushi had boughten that for him a month into their dating. They’d taken a stroll around a mall—one in a different city (Atsushi knew why now). Atsushi saw it, and immediately thought of his boyfriend. He bought it while Chuuya got them lunch, and then surprised him with it on the train ride back. It was a good day.
“Sorry, about that.” Chuuya said, and Atsushi had to remember what they were talking about. “Walk and talk?” He suggested instead.
Atsushi nodded, throat suddenly tight. Was he really going to do this?
They walked in silence for a while, crossing streets and passing multiple people on their nightly routines. Atsushi thought it was nice, one last walk through the city with Chuuya.
“So,” Chuuya said after they entered the park. “What did you need to talk about?”
Atsushi couldn’t tell what Chuuya was feeling. He was keeping his tone pretty even and had his poker face on. That meant he knew this was serious. Atsushi wished he had a poker face for moments like these.
Atsushi stopped walking, Chuuya having to swivel back around to stand in front of him from the sudden halt. The younger fidgeted with his hands, unsure were to put them. He was sweating like crazy and his chest hurt. He stared at the other man’s chest. This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. Help me, whatever god is out there!
“Chuuya-san…” He started slow, tongue heavy and unwilling. “I know.”
Chuuya let out an irritated sigh. “So, we’re not ignoring it anymore?” Atsushi watched the red-head put his hands into his jacket pockets. He’s nervous.
Atsushi shook his head.
A sigh. “Did you know…before?”
The blond hesitated. “I think I did, deep down. I just wanted to keep…this.” He gestured between them both.
“We still can. It’s not like I’m a different person now!” Chuuya stated. “So what if I’m in the mafia, and you’re with them? It doesn’t matter it me.”
Atsushi felt a bit offended at him just calling the Agency “them”. He looked up, finally looking Chuuya in the eyes. “It’s not that easy anymore…”
Chuuya was getting angry, his brows pulling together and voice getting harsh. “Why not?”
“Ranpo-san knows.”
Silence.
“Damnit.” Chuuya breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How are we so sure he didn’t know before?”
Atsushi didn’t know, couldn’t know for sure, but, “He would’ve told someone. Most likely the President or Dazai-san. He’s not exactly the type to let things go that could potentially hurt the Agency.”
Chuuya shook his head and took a step closer to the younger. He grabbed Atsushi’s hand and held it tightly, looking Atsushi in the eyes. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. And I know that if I did anything to hurt the Agency, it would hurt you too. You don’t have to worry about anything from me.”
His heart fluttered and skin burned where Chuuya touched him. Atsushi slowly, yet firmly pulled his hand away. “But what if we meet during work? What if we have to fight each other? Everyone would know.”
Chuuya glared. “I’d kill anyone that tried to use me as a way of hurting you.” It was a clear threat. No joke.
“And what if they use me to hurt you?” Atsushi shot back, voice rising. “I know you’re high up, but if your boss found out, are you positive he wouldn’t try to use us as a way to get information from the Agency? If you refused, are you positive he would just let you continue this? No consequences?”
Chuuya grit his teeth. “He knows what he can and can’t do, if he wants me to stay. Besides, he knows I’m stronger than him. Everyone does. It’s just I have no interest in becoming boss.”
Atsushi sighed. He was getting a head ache. Sometimes Chuuya put too much faith in his ability…
“And what if the people found out?”
Chuuya didn’t answer.
“When they find out-“
“If they find out.” Chuuya corrected.
“Fine. If they found out that someone in the Armed Detective Agency is dating someone in the Port Mafia, our reputation would be ruined. No one would be able to trust the agency, if they’re just going to start making out with the enemy as soon as their back’s turned.”
“We haven’t even made out yet…” Chuuya pouted, and Atsushi blushed.
“That’s not the point!”
Chuuya threw his hands up in exasperation. “So what then?! You’re breaking up with me? Is that it?!” His voice was loud, breath huffing out in big bursts.
Atsushi was quiet. He grabbed he’s sleeves and pulled them farther down, fidgeting again.
Chuuya’s breathing slowed. “Oh…you are breaking up with me.” He glared and turned his head away. “I see. You’re choosing them.”
Atsushi stuttered for a moment, only then realizing he was crying—how long had that been going on? “I don’t want to have to choose between anyone!” He didn’t know what to say. This whole thing was a mistake. Meeting Chuuya that night was a mistake. Falling in love was a mistake. But he knew what the biggest mistake was…the fact that he was born.
Chuuya ripped the bracelet off—the one thing symbolizing Atsushi’s love—and threw it at the younger’s feet. “Keep it. For you’re next boyfriend. And then you can tell him all about this stupid fight and then laugh it off.”
Before Atsushi could say anything else, the older turned and stormed off, leaving Atsushi with a broken heart and crumbling mind. This wasn’t how he wanted it to go. Of course he had come here to break up with Chuuya, but he was also hoping that the older might be able to figure out something better. For both of them.
He especially didn’t want to leave it like this. No way to come back from. He was hoping for a more temporary solution, maybe some time apart, just to think things through. Not this. This felt so…permanent. They were over. That was it.
Numbly, Atsushi picked up the bracelet off the ground and started his walk back to his apartment. The second long walk that day.