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Spamton tries not to let the grimace show on his face as Kris adjusts their headband. It’s a gaudy thing. Something he has several times offered to replace, or take off their hands, or burn it right off their head.
It’s a simple black headband with two antennas rising from it. A small bauble hung off the end, one of the antennae, the wire knotted and the bauble sparks occasionally. The other is horribly mangled, cut in half with wires peaking out, it sparks almost every time Spamton speaks.
Spamton takes a deep breath and grits his teeth. He isn’t going to let some kids' fashion sense get to him.
He isn’t going to let that stupid TV get to him.
He isn’t-
“Mr Spamton are you ok?”
Spamton breaks free of his thoughts to stare down at Ralsie. Apparently the kids have beaten another game and don’t want to see the thirty second ad. How dare they! Don’t they know that's the best part?
He glances to his side and smacks away a popup for a private investigator.
“Of course kid!” His smile widens as he stares at an already fraying ribbon on the kids fur. “You need another ribbon? Only 4.99!”
Raslie laughs uncomfortably and shakes his head. “I’m ok thank you.”
“Yeah all the shit you give us breaks in two seconds. Nothing here is worth buying,” Susie gripes, holding up an already snapped in half axe.
Spamtons eye twitches. “You kids are starting to sound real ungrateful. You just gotta know how to play the game.” He smirks and points at Susie directly. “If you don’t want to be a clown you have to smarten up.”
There's a flash of something and Susie laughs as a creature peers out from behind her. “Oh a clown clown?”
Smapton’s eyes go wide in recognition. “You,” he hisses, pointing at the new darkner.
Jevil laughs and bounces around the fun gang. “Yes it’s me, it’s me!” He cries. “What's wrong with being a clown clown! We have the most fun, fun!”
Spamton shudders and grits his teeth, forcing a smile back onto his face. “We don’t allow Jesters here, it's against policy.”
Jevil ignores him and launches himself at Kris’s head, pulling the offending headband off.
There's another flash and a loud popping shriek. Spamton flinches at the awful noise and squeezes his eyes shut.
When he looks back Jevil is dancing with a headless figure. The new darkner is struggling against the clown to no avail.
“Jev-il,” a voice filled with static rises from where the lighters stand, “give it back! My body!”
Susie curses and scrambles to pick something off the ground, an old CRT.
Spamton’s hologram shrinks unconsciously.
Susie spins around the TV and Spamton stares at the face of his long lost partner. His screen no longer glows a blinding white, instead it’s black with only a wobbly frown displayed. His antennas pop as he speaks again. “Please! King of jesters, jester of kings,” he speaks with several voices almost as if he’s playing movie clips.
Susie huffs. “Dude give Tenna back his body! How would you feel if we ripped your head off and tossed your body around?”
Jevil laughs and his head pops from his body from a spring. “Oh how neat neat!” He dips Tenna’s body and wraps his arms tightly around Tennas waist as the body flails wildly.
Spamton growls and leans over to pluck Tenna’s head from Susie's grip.
“Hey!” Susie protests, jumping to try and get Tenna back.
Spamton spins the TV around to face him. “Hello there. Long time no see cathode,” he bites out.
Tenna gasps, his antenna’s twining together. “Spam Mail?” he says in his own voice. “Maddox, you recognize me.?”
Spamton wrinkles his nose and squeezes Tenna’s head harshly between his forefinger and thumb. Tenna sparks widely and his screen flicks off and on.
Susie growls and brandishes her broken axe. “Put him down!”
Spamton ignores her and tries his best to look disinterested while fiddling with Tenna’s head. “Hey jester, hand me the rest of him,” he says and holds his hand out.
Jevil hums in thought, still spinning Tenna’s body around. “I think not, not!”
“What!” Spamton hisses and squeezes Tenna harshly.
“We can share, share! I don’t need his head to dance, dance!” Jevil laughs and begins to try and waltz with Tenna’s uncooperative body.
Spamton hisses through his teeth and quickly snatches the CRT’s body from the jester, pushing the smaller darker away with a finger.
Jevil pouts at Spamton. “So protective,” he says with narrowed eyes.
Tenna’s head releases hot steam from his head vents and a wobbly smile appears on his face. Only Spamton sees and he glares at the TV in return as he shoves Tenna’s body into his front shirt pocket.
“You can’t just take him!” Susie interrupts. “He’s with us.”
Tenna makes a fizzling noise but before he can speak Spamton closes his fist around his head, effectively silencing him. “Listen here kid,” he leans down and pokes Susie in the face, she just misses biting his finger as he pulls away. “I’ve been as generous as I can be! You’ve racked up quite the debt. Consider this just, a repossession for, um, debt.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Ralsie points out. “Why not take what we bought from you? We didn’t buy Tenna from you.”
“Yeah he doesn't belong to you,” Susie shouts.
Spamton’s form glitches momentarily. “Well he does now! That’s how repossession works kid! Go play your game, the ads are over anyways!”
A wall of popups blocks the gang from coming after him as Spamton retreats hastily. He weaves through the cityscape, ignoring Tenna’s muffled protests and the wiggling of his body in his pocket.
Eventually he reaches the tallest building in the city and the elevator door opens for him. He throws Tenna’s head and body in, the doors close with a snap the moment the TV touches the ground.
Spamton blinks rapidly and shakes himself off, readjusting to the sight of his room and his real body. He rushes to the mirror and adjusts his suit, straightening his tie, and smoothing his hair down.
He hears the elevator ring and rushes over to it, slowing his pace at the last second to not appear desperate.
The elevator doors slide open to reveal Tenna scrambling across the ground trying to find his head that has landed screen side down.
Spamton stares at the pathetic display for a second before he reaches out and picks up Tenna’s head. “Heya Tens! It’s been a while.”
Tenna makes a loud popping noise and Spamton flinches. “You, you!” Tenna plays another voice recording.
Spamton rattles the TV’s head around just to watch Tenna’s mouth vanish. A vortex of pink and yellow overtakes Tenna’s screen and a low wine emits from him.
Spamton raises an eyebrow at the new feature. “And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” he laughs to himself and pokes Tenna again.
Tenna’s antennas wiggle until his screen goes black and a frown appears once more. Spamton goes to shake him again but something kicks him in the ankle. He looks down to see Tenna’s body kicking him. He reaches down and picks the TV’s body in his other hand.
He shoots a glare at Tenna’s head and places it on his desk. He holds Tenna’s body with one hand and uses his other to pull up several ad’s and place an order on a birdcage and something else Tenna can’t see. He turns on his heel and sits at his desk, turning Tenna’s head to face him.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Cathode!” Spamton says with a strained grin.
Tenna doesn’t stop his wiggling body. Spamton squeezes him tightly as a warning, it doesn’t work and Tenna continues trying to kick him.
“Can you-” Tenna’s screen blips out. “Bring me everything- Hello Kris-”
Spamton growls. “You aren't going anywhere anytime soon.” Spamton begins to unconsciously trace circles in Tenna’s body. “Never again.”
A blush appears on Tenna’s face. “You want me?”
“Want you?”
Spamton breaks into cackling laughter. Tenna’s antenna curls back and his body begins to struggle once more.
Spamton stops laughing suddenly and slams his fist down next to Tenna’s head. “What I want is that little secret of yours! You signed the contract and then ran!” His eye twitches as he smiles at the TV’s head. “That’s not very nice Tens.”
Tenna’s screen flicks off. Spamton scoffs, flicks his shades up and taps the CRT’s head. “Hey hey hey we’re having a conversation here. Don’t shut off on me.”
“Yes, but I can't.”
Spamton squeezes Tennas body tighter. “Spam In A-” Tenna glitches out playing a SPAM commercial across his screen.
Spamton raises an eyebrow and reaches out with his free hand to smooth out Tenna’s crooked antennae. The glitching stops and Tenna’s wobbly smile reappears along with a soft blush. Spamton grumbles and continues to run his fingers against the broken antenna.
“Why did you leave me?” he asks softly.
Tenna’s arms slowly wrap around Spamtons fist as his grip loosens. “I didn’t wan-” Tenna sparks with electricity and Spamton yanks his hand away from his head.
“I never-”
Another zap.
“Please don’t-”
Zap.
“I want to-”
“Stay-”
“Never-”
“Leave-”
Spamton leans back slowly in his chair as Tenna’s screen flickers off and steam erupts from his vents. His body has gone limp in Spamtons hold and is also slightly hot to the touch.
“Leave?” Spamton slowly starts to laugh.
It turns into full blown cackling. He slams his hand down next to Tenna’s head and leers over him. “You're never leaving again,” he hisses.
Tenna's screen flicks on to display a wobbly smile.
A ping sounds behind Spamton, he glances to the side where a box has appeared in his office. He opens a drawer in his desk and unceremoniously shoves Tenna’s body into it. The former spam email smiles sweetly at Tenna’s head right before he flips him face down onto the desk.
Spamton laughs as Tenna’s antennas flick around in anger. He approaches the box and flicks a box cutter out of his sleeve.
Out of the first he pulls out a silver bird cage. He places it next to him on the ground and roots through the rest of the box. He pulls out branded pillows and blankets with “AD” written all over them. He shoves them into the cage, uncaring of the placement. At the bottom of the box is a white dress made for a doll, or a very small darkner.
Spamton picks the dress up and opens the drawer again, pulling Tenna’s body out. Tenna makes somes muffled protests as Spamton pulls the disgusting clothing off of Tenna’s body. His gaze lingers for a moment on the scuff marks and cracks on Tenna’s body. The TV’s knees are nearly destroyed. He’ll have to figure out how to give the TV’s body a good scrub and fix up but for now new clothes will suffice.
That and perhaps spraying him with the cologne Spamton uses.
Tenna won’t mind. In their prime Spamton realized quickly the TV darkner’s sense of smell was strong and had made it his personal mission to find a scent that didn’t offend him. What he eventually landed on was a pine scent, he hasn’t changed it since.
Spamton shakes his head to clear the reminiscing.
He finishes shoving Tenna into the white lacy doll dress. Tenna gently touches the fabric, rubbing it between his fingers.
Spamton grabs the bird cage and shoves Tenna’s body in. Tenna quickly flips from calm to flailing blindly, tripping over the blanket. Spamton stands up, grabs Tenna’s head and places it face down in the cage as well, closing the door and locking it.
Maybe he should get a padlock as well. He flips up an AD and quickly purchases one.
Tenna’s antennae perk towards the cage door and Spamton snorts out a laugh as the TV begins to shout muffled curses. His body manages to untangle from one of the blankets, stand up and then proceeds to trip over his own head.
Spamton’s chuckles at the display, dragging the cage to sit on his desk where he can watch his new captive.
Tenna shakily picks up his head and inspects himself. “What am I?”
He sits buffering for a second. “Wearing!” he shouts in his real voice with a pop from his speakers.
Spamton hums in response. “It's my color Tens. Maybe we’ll get you a suit later.”
Tennas head is turned towards him. “Really? You’ll-” he nearly drops his head as his arms shake. “Keep me?”
Spamton grabs the cage and shakes it, jostling Tenna around. “I told you! You’re not going anywhere! Not until I get that secret out of you!”
Spamton grits his teeth, his eyes wide and manic. “Actually you can’t leave after that either.”
Tenna smiles brightly from where he’s landed sprawled over several pillows.
Spamton huffs looking away from the TV. “I’ve got to get back to the kids,” Spamton huffs, standing up and walking to his hologram control in the center of the office.
“You just sit there and look pretty. We’ll continue our talk later,” Spamton says and winks.
Tenna squeaks and his head drops from his hands. Spamton grins to himself and adjusts his collar.
He taps his AD badge and takes a moment to adjust back to his hologram form, appearing where he was last, at the elevator.
He opens a map of the world, pulling up the kids' locations. Really it’s a known fact he put trackers in every one of his products. How else was he supposed to track their data?
He makes his way to the kids who seem to be stuck on a block puzzle. He snorts when he realizes it’s one of his pay to win schemes. “Oh come on kids just a few kromer and you’ll get through.”
Susie whips towards him and draws her axe. “Where is Tenna!”
Spamton casually leans on a building. “Relax, you don’t have to worry about the hunk of junk anymore.”
He laughs as his vision fractures to his real body. Tenna is struggling to make a nest out of the blankets and pillows in the cage. Unfortunately his head keeps being lost under blankets and his body has to rip the nest apart to find it again.
He chuckles and his vision goes back to his hologram. “Are you blushing?” Susie asks with a grimace.
Spamton smacks himself in the face, he didn't know the hologram could blush. He’d have to figure out how to turn that off now that Tenna was back.
“I don’t know what you're talking about, kid,” he leers over the kids. “Now where's that kromer.”
“You can have it when you give us back Mr. Tenna,” Susie hisses and points menacingly at him.
Spamton laughs and waves her away. “Fat chance that CRT is mine now.”
Susie curses and jabs the axe at him, as if she could even reach him. “If we beat all your stupid games I want him back!”
Spamton shrugs. “Fine,” he says, fingers crossed behind his back. “Now about that Kromer.”
Susie huffs but forks it over. The block puzzle in front of them vanishes.
“And now a word from our sponsor,” Spamton says as the kids are thrown into a battle with some mannequin guys. He leans back and his vision fractures again, only slightly listening to the sounds of battle.
Tenna’s body now lays curled up in a blanket, his head perched on a pillow, facing Spamton with the screen off.
He’s asleep.
Spamton raises a hand to cover his smile and returns his vision to the hologram. The kids are nearly done with the battle.
Soon they’ll be gone and he’ll get all the time he wants with his TV. He’ll figure out what the hell happened to him and why he left him. He’ll fix the old CRT, make him better than new.
And he would never leave again.
All Spamton has to do is uphold his end of the deal.
And everything will be the way he wants.