Chapter Text
ARCHIVED MESSAGES - 2012
Private Chat (Michael & Lewis)
4:09am January 24th 2012
Michael: testing archive capabilities.
Lewis: michael thinks im the best and that everyone should respect me
Michael: thank you lewis.
Lewis: np :D
Michael: this is in our archives forever now
Lewis: even better
New Groupchat, Multiple Numbers Added
9:04am January 24th 2012 Michael Schumacher created "New Groupchat"
Michael: Taking Lewis' MANY suggestions into consideration I have created a groupchat with all the members of the Grid for easier communication and a more streamlined process for planning, etc. I would ask you all to keep this professional but I know better than that at this point so as long as we all can confirm and understand the important stuff then have at em'.
Lewis: all of us say 'thank you lewis'
Jenson: thank you lewis
Nico: im not doing that
Fernando: me either
Lewis: ugh your all such haters
Jenson: what am i roadkill?
9:24am
Seb: no
Seb: no thank you's for lewis
Seb: michael made me buy a phone for this
Seb: i have no idea how to work this thing
Seb: it keeps beeping at me
Mark: you are the youngest here mate
Seb: So???
Seb: its still beeping at me
Lewis: those are your notifications seb
Seb: how do i stop it
Lewis: put the gc on silent?
Seb: how
Jenson: old man seb
Seb: fuck you
Seb: i kick you in the balls
Jenson: like
Jenson: virtually?
9:28am
Jenson: there goes my ability to have kids
Lewis: ?
Fernando: Seb came over to kick Jenson in the balls and give him the finger, he then left.
Lewis: oh so thats the yell i heard down the hall
Fernando: very funny, seb is welcome over for dinner whenever he wants
Jenson: no hes not!
Jenson: im in a lot of pain right now
Jenson: that was an attack on my dignity
Seb: serves you right
Nico: @jensonbutton what dignity?
Seb: just because i dont know how this "mobile phone" thing works doesnt mean im less dangerous
Jenson: noted
Michael: we've had this for ten minutes how have you already gotten violent
Nico: they get violent in normal conversation, the group chat can only worsen the issue
Michael: i should've seen this coming
Mick: you really should have
Mick: you also should have someone moderate this
Michael: im not choosing you mick
Mick: worth a shot
Kimi: i can moderate
9:31am Michael Schumacher shared admin abilities with Kimi Raikkonen
Lewis: wait can't i moderate
Kimi: no
Lewis: but this whole thing was my idea!
Nico: let it go lew
Lewis: i reserve the right to be grumpy about this
Lewis: look at him! he's already gone mad with power!
Nico: lewis.
Private Chat (Michael & Mick)
7:06pm October 24th 2012
Michael Schumacher sends 1 photo attachment
Michael: mick is excited to go to Australia!
7:13pm
Mick: i was actually going to ask you about that
Michael: oh?
Mick: im having flavio over the week that mick comes over
Michael: i thought we cut contact with flavio after what happened with fernando
Mick: …
Michael: why are you having him over mick?
Mick: his advice is useful one bad call doesnt make him suddenly wrong about everything else
Michael: ONE bad call?? how about multiple bad CAREERS.
Michael: i've told you specifically that i dont want ANYONE coming in contact with that man hes too unstable
Mick: hes a genius michael
Michael: hes dangerous
Michael: im not budging on this mick
Michael: we've been in a good place for too long
Mick: i cant cancel now
Michael: yes you can!
Michael: anything flavio can think of threatening you with we can defend you against
Mick: michael please he can help us with the australian branch
Michael: we're not even sure if hes the one running it or not!
Mick: we ruled that out months ago michael!
Michael: no, NO! i am not letting my son be anywhere close to that man
Michael: and i would advise you to keep jack away from him to
Mick: i dont let jack near my buisness michael
Michael: im starting to doubt your being honest about that
Mick: leave my parenting out of this
Michael: fine
Mick: mick is going to be dissapointed he's not going to australia
Michael: he'll live.
Brocedes (Lewis & Nico)
11:04am October 27th 2012
Lewis: How have you been?
Nico: what do you mean
Lewis: you havent contacted me since the stakeout started
Lewis: sue me for getting a little worried about you
Nico: aw you do care
Lewis: shut up
Nico: ive been fine
Nico: i just hate going on missions supervised by jos
Nico: theres something off about him
Nico: seb doesnt like him either
Lewis: michael trusts him so there not much we can do
Nico: michael also trusted flavio, and helmut, AND steiner
Nico: his track record isnt exactly perfect
Nico: michael HIMSELF isnt perfect
Lewis: so what are you planning to do then
Nico: well i was going to talk to mick about it
Lewis: that may not be the best idea
Nico: wdym
Lewis: somethings been up with michael and mick lately, so it might not be the best idea to undermine michael through mick right now
Nico: but we need to do something about jos
Nico: sooner than later
Lewis: okay, i trust you
Lewis: and ill back you with whatever you decide to do about jos
Lewis: just be careful okay?
Lewis: we've had to many close calls lately
Lewis: i dont think i need to remind you that mark is still in recovery
Nico: you dont
Lewis: okay
Lewis: i love you
Nico: i love you too
11:18am
Lewis: stay safe
Lewis: please
New Groupchat, Multiple Numbers Added
2:43pm October 31st 2012
Mark: the lightbulb is burnt out in my room
Nico: mark you are a grown ass man
Mark: with a broken fucking leg!
Mark: what the hell do you want me to do mate??
Nico: not get me to do it
Nico: doesnt seb literally live with you?
Mark: he wont do it
Seb: damn right i wont
Jenson: why not?
Seb: dignity
Jenson: ???
Mark: he doesnt know how
Seb: excuse you! i have killed me with my bare hands! i think i can change a lightbulb
Mark: then do it!
Seb: no
Mark: ive been sitting in the dark for twenty minutes
Seb: light a candle
Mark: look sebastian i don't know why you're allergic to all types of technology but it doesnt mean you get to push that agenda onto all of us
Jenson: what do you have against candles mate?
Mark: they clog my nose up
Seb: your supposed to light the candle not fucking snort it mark
Mark: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT
Jenson: okay ill come over and help you change the light bulb okay?
Mark: thank you
Mark @sebastianvettel see how easy that was?
Seb: screw you im going home
Jenson: like, home home?
Jenson: germany home?
Seb: …
Seb: yes
Mark: thank god
Seb: just for that im staying
Mark: do you only exist to hurt me
Seb: yes
3:14pm
Jenson: hey guys
Nico: what now
Jenson: anyone here know how to change a lightbulb?
Nico: i thought you knew
Jenson: turns out its a bit more complicated than i originally anticipated
Mark: hes broken four of the six new lightbulbs i bought
Jenson: ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY WONT STAY IN
Mark: YOU ARENT PUTTING THEM IN RIGHT
Mark: ITS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT
Jenson: im doing my best man
Jenson: could i get any help?
Jenson: from anyone??
Lewis: i can give it a go
Nico: do NOT let lewis give it a go he has no idea what hes doing
Lewis: i could know what im doing
Nico: i simply dont believe you
Lewis: :(
Nico: fine
Lewis: yes!
Nico: but if you end up breaking the rest of them i wont be helping you
Lewis: come on how hard can it be
3:17pm
Lewis: nicoooo
Nico: no
Lewis: please?
Nico: no
Jenson: to be fair i broke the last two not lewis
Nico: how
Jenson: stepped on one
Jenson: licked the other
Nico: why
Jenson: i was curious
Mark: hes an idiot
Lewis: i was a little disappointed that his insides didnt light up with electricity like they do in the cartoons
Jenson: oh fuck you mate
Lewis: other ppl are allowed to be curious to
Nico: ugh you are all incompetent
Lewis: soooo?
Nico: no
Lewis: :(
Nico: dont give me that face
Lewis: :(
Nico: i hate you
Lewis: no you dont
Nico: ugh
Nico: your right i dont
Nico: ill go pick up some more light bulbs
Lewis: i love you so much
Jenson: i also love you nico
Lewis: @jensonbutton stay in your lane buddy
Seb: @markwebber is jenson safe?
Mark: hes just being threatened by a shard of lightbulb mate
Mark: nothing serious
Jenson: come on guys
4:04pm
Nico: @michaelschumacher what is wrong with this apartment complex
Michael: ?
Nico: your lightbulbs are being uncooporative
Jenson: we;ve broken about ten of them
Michael: TEN??
Mark: i didnt know what i was getting into when i asked for help
Mark: i shouldve just lit a fucking candle
Seb: HA
Michael: jesus christ you guys
Michael: how are you all my best operatives
Lewis: because killing is somehow easier than this
Fernando: because youve made a terrible judgement of everyones collective intelligence
Nico: because im the only one with a car
Mark: because you havent given us any electrical jobs?
Jenson: because our people skills far outweigh our technical ones
Seb: because none of the missions you give us involve lightbulbs?
Michael: forget i asked
Michael: you twist it left, then right and then wiggle it around until you hear a click
4:18pm
Nico: thank god that worked
Nico: i do not have it in the budget for more lightbulbs
Mark: i dont have the motor skills required to navigate the darkness
Mark: broken leg remember??
Private Chat (Flavio & Mick)
3:00am November 13th 2012
Flavio: Your private jet will be ready for your departure.
Mick: alright
Mick: i am feeling a little reluctant, most of them will likely stay with michael
Flavio: they stay with schumacher? That's their choice.
Flavio: they burn with him.
New Groupchat, Multiple Numbers Added
4:07pm November 17th 2012
Mick: Michael, ive been thinking
Michael: ?
Michael: mick you can message me privately
Mick: this… isnt, private.
Michael: oh?
Mick: the australian branch is getting more powerful, even more powerful many are saying than the monaco grid
Michael: thank you for the reminder mick
Mick: dont start with me michael
Mick: what im trying to say if that im given the proper backing
Michael: mick no
Mick: we could get in close with australia and take over
Michael: its entirely disrespectful for you to bring this up around the team i have told you that they are too dangerous and it isnt worth it.
Mick: but we have the power
Michael: is that you or flavio talking?
Lewis: okay, how about you two take this elsewhere. i think michael is right and that the whole grid doesn't need to be hearing this
Mick: you guys are seeing my vision
Michael: your right. because your vision doesn't make sense. the australian branch has done barely anything to provoke us
Mick: barely provoked? you call marks leg barely provoking us?
Michael: the answer is no mick.
Mick: fine.
Mick: fine!
Mick: ill drop it
Michael: thank you mick
Michael: contact me personally next time please
New Groupchat, Multiple Numbers Added
12:05pm November 25th 2012
Mick: i'm back in monaco
Mick: theres a situation
Mick: im calling in a code red
Michael: shit
Michael: okay jos, you take your team to the south of monaco and try to get a vantage on whats happening
Michael: Seb im putting you in charge of an alternate team of nico h, jenson, and fernando
Michael: Lewis, Kimi you're with me.
Michael: mick any info you can give us would be helpful, but sit tight we'll be there soon
Michael: everyone can confirm?
Lewis: understood
Seb: yup
Jos: Yes.
1:30pm
Jos: Michael, theres no one here.
Michael: what?
Seb: can confirm, theres nothing. its just an empty train station
Michael: @mickdoohan whats happening?
Private Chat (Michael & Mick)
1:34pm November 25th 2012
Mick: Meet me at the ports, now.
Michael: Mick what's happening
Mick: we have something important
Mick: so dont take your time
Michael: we?
Mick Doohan sends 1 photo attachment
Mick: me and flav of course
Mick: alone michael. i better see you alone
END OF ARCHIVED MESSAGES 2012
2012 ARCHIVE SUMMARY
Summary Written by Lewis Hamilton, December 15th 2013
Edited by Lewis Hamilton April 30th 2016
Last Edit by Lewis Hamilton July 11th 2018
Mick Doohan unknown to us at the time had been in contact with Flavio Briatore (see Crashgate Files) for months without our knowledge, slowly growing his own criminal group in Australia that Micheal had coined the "Australia Branch". Mick up until then had been trying to convince the rest of the grid to go with him to Australia in a misaligned attempt to gain control of the grid.
After a couple years of rapid deterioration, Mick and Michael finally had a "snap" moment during a Grid meeting mid October. Mick then finalized his plans to fully move to Australia while Michael was none the wiser.
Mick then sent out a code red after getting back from a trip to Australia that Micheal was supposed to accompany him on but ended up not. Luring the entire Grid from the apartment building while Mick and Flavio tag teamed together to kidnap Mick Schumacher for leverage against Michael.
Mick goaded Michael into a fight, drawing him away from the rest of the grid as Flavio detonated C4 at the train station the grid had gathered at, causing many injuries but luckily nothing was permanent. My self and a few chosen teammates went after Michael a couple hours later to find him missing all evidence pointing to him having passed away during his confrontation with Mick.
Edit 17/04/30: Mick Doohan is confirmed to be alive and running the Austrlian Branch by Daniel Riccardo and Max Verstappen
Edit 19/07/11: Mick Schumacher confirmed to be alive and working with the Australian Branch by Daniel Riccardo and Nico Hulkenburg
END OF SUMMARY
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