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"Come on, please, please, please. You'd be perfect for it," Cipher says, leaning over the marble bar counter Mydei is trying to wipe down, her martini glass leaning dangerously in her sharply manicured hand.
Mydei just sighs. He likes Cipher, but this is an old song and dance, her staying behind after the restaurant has closed to corner him alone.
Every year, like clockwork, come recruitment time, she pleads Mydei to join her show. It's been going on for years by now. It's how they met, sort of, Cipher hunting down new eligible candidates for the Okheman Bachelor.
On paper, Mydei can see his appeal: The sole heir apparent to the family business that is Kremnos Corp. A successful chef with his own restaurant and a Memchelin star under his belt before he'd even turned 25. And Mydei is aware he isn't exactly hard on the eyes; He works out. Keeps himself well-groomed. But he isn't interested in entering a dating show. No offence to Cipher, but he doubts anyone in their right mind is.
He's seen some episodes. Anyone who's known Cipher for any extended time can't really avoid it. It looks so horribly superficial and outdatedly conservative: A group of conventionally attractive women chasing after one man, claiming they're passionately in love despite only meeting a few weeks earlier, when all they really want is fame.
Cipher doesn't give up. "Come on, you were just telling me how you want your dad to leave you alone. It'd be the biggest, loudest fuck you to him you could ever make!" she says. "I bet you'd be pretty much unhireable as a COO or VP or whatever fancy title he wants you to have if you're a reality TV star!"
"In exchange for what, two months of my life, I won’t get back, and my privacy? I think not, when I can just block his number or get a new one for myself." Again, Mydei thinks. Only to find his father had again pulled he right strings and a new text in a week or two.
As if on cue, his phone lights up with a new message, his father's name on the display. As you won't speak to me like an adult, you leave me no choice, the preview reads. Mydei doesn't read the rest.
Instead, he pulls out another glass and the same liquor he'd used for Cipher's vodka martini, his beloved fresh pomegranate juice, and a bottle of Triple Sec, reaching for the mixer behind the bar. It's rare for him to drink at all, but talking about his father has put him in a sour mood.
"Come on! It's not that terrible! You get to travel, and some of the dates are actually fun!" Cipher waves away Mydei's worry as he works on his own cocktail. "When's the last time you had a vacation? Plus, it'd be free advertisement for your restaurant! Weren't you thinking about opening another branch soon?"
Mydei pours the blood red drink in his glass, scowling at the drink. "I'm not looking for a wife."
“You don't have to marry anyone. It's just an engagement.” Cipher waves her hand in dismissal. “Just call it off, after. Heck, you don't even have to get engaged! Reject them all, why don't you? That's what most of them do, anyway.”
Mydei sighs. “Ciphera. How long have we known each other?”
Cipher narrows her eyes. "Hmm…Three years, give or take a few months. Why?"
"And how many women have I dated?"
"I mean, there was that one model when we first met. The one that used to practically drape herself over you any chance she got."
"I never intended to date her."
"And you still went out with her more times than I've seen you do with anyone else."
"Don't remind me." Mydei huffs. After a pause, he adds. "Cipher. I'm gay."
Cipher nearly drops her glass. "What? You are?"
"I thought you knew."
"How was I to know! Mydei, you don't date. Ever. You barely go out when it’s not for work, gym, or with friends you’ve known for years," she says. "Wait? Is that why you said no?"
Mydei doesn’t answer her.
Cipher doesn't seem to mind, happy to keep talking even without his input. "We could work with that. Our first gay Bachelor," she says, her eyes shining like she's just struck gold. "The thing is, the ratings have been going down for a while now, so now's the time to push for something new. Corporate heir comes out on TV? I think I could spin that to Aglaea."
At the counter, Mydei's phone lights up a second time. This time, the message is from Hephaestion. This one Mydei actually reads: Your father is meddling again. And a link to a news article:
His father has just bought the building Mydei's newest, yet-to-open restaurant has a rental contract with.
HKS.
Mydei gulps down his drink in one go, the slight burn of alcohol warming his mouth and chest on its way down a good match for the anger he feels simmering under his skin.
Eurypon has gone too far.
It's too early for the drink to have reached his head. In the morning, he'll blame it anyway, for the stupid decision he's about to make. "Six weeks. Not a day more. All men."
"Done." Cipher smiles like the cat that got the cream. "I'll need to check with Aglaea first, of course, but I'll make it happen."
"No scenes with family.” There’s no one left but Europyon, anyway.
Cipher waves it away like a non-issue. “We can do friends for meet the family sections. No big deal. That one guy, what's his name–Hephaestion? He'd do, if he's game."
"I want my father to get the middle finger, loud and clear."
Cipher nods, still smiling. "Of course! I can personally make sure of that!" She offers her hand to Mydei across the bar. "Deal?"
Mydei takes the offered hand. "Deal."
—
Three months later, Mydei finds himself following over-excited Cipher around the large house that the Okheman Bachelor calls its Manor.
She keeps talking constantly as she guides him around the different shooting location, barely seeming to stop to braeth, her hand on his elbow like she's still making sure he won't make an escape. “This is where you’ll meet the lucky people for the first time. Oh, and here is the perfect spot to hand out the roses when we’re sending someone home! This is the interview room for the contestants. And here is the room you will be sleeping in….Oh, I haven't shown you the pool yet!"
The tour is a whirlwind of opulent rooms, sand-stone colored hallways, well-manicured lawn yards in what should be almost to a desert, and, yes, a rather nice pool with a magnificent view of the hills nearby, the direction of the deck perfect to catch the golden light of the setting sun.
Finally, Cipher is done. She lets go of Mydei's arm, looking at him with a wide, expectant grin. "Any comments on the set? Pretty nice, huh?
Mydei, having lived most of his childhood in houses equally grand if not even grander, just shrugs.
“The kitchen is terrible. But the pool is nice.” Mydei had looked mournfully at the woefully small three-spot cooktop in a house that's about to house at least 21 people, excluding the staff—induction, not gas, like he'd prefer. Not to mention the glossy also too-small kitchenware that had seen little use, and the inconvenient porous marble countertops clearly chosen for their style rather than actual suitability for cooking and would stain just from looking at them.
At least he'd brought his own knives.
Cipher just laughed. “It’s mostly just for show. We have full catering. I think the most we usually use the kitchen for is coffee, toast, and maybe some chocolate-dipped strawberries.”
Mydei frowns. Not being able to cook is definitely a big minus in his books.
"Don't scowl at me like that! You look like I just murdered your entire family. You can still use it if you want! If something is missing, just ask! I'll do my best to get it for you."
"Hmm," Mydei grunts.
“Anyhow. Let me introduce you to the crew,” Cipher says, just as a blonde woman in a white two-piece suit so sharply cut it could cut glass steps into the room. “You know Aglaea, of course. She basically runs the whole channel, so she won't be on the st much.”
And half the city besides, much to his father's Mydei thinks as he nods at her. “We’ve met.”
Aglaea returns the gesture.“Mydeimos. Always a pleasure.”
More people keep moving in and out of the yard, each accompanied by an introduction by Cipher: “This is Hyacine, our set medic in case anything goes wrong. And oh, there's Castorice, she handles the wardrobe. Let's see, who else is here…"Oh, there you are!" Cipher brightens up when her eyes hone in on a young man who'd just gotten through the door, beckoning him to come closer.
"Phainon. He's Aglaea’s newest find. He's in charge of photography and does a lot of the filming himself," she says to Mydei before turning to speak to the new guy. "Phainon, this is Mydei, our Bachelor this year, and my good friend. You'll be seeing a lot of each other, so I hope you get along!"
The man called Phainon has white hair, glasses that cover half his face, and a bright yellow hoodie with a picture of a cartoon chimera plastered across its front. At first glance, he looks more than a little goofy, but when his sky-blue eyes meet Mydei's, they are warm. "Hello," he says with the brightest smile Mydei has ever seen, offering a hand for Mydei to shake. "I'm looking forward to working with you."
Mydei takes the offered hand, surprised by the firmness of the handshake.
"Hmm. Likewise," Mydei says. To his surprise, he finds he means it.
But his brief, misguided excitement to start working doesn't last long.
The next morning, Phainon waits for Mydei downstrairs with a large camera on his shoulder. The yellow hoodie is gone, replaced by an equally ugly purple one. This one, inexplicably has the text Genuine Antique written across its front.
But it's not him Mydei is annoyed at but the script Cipher had given him the previous night. "This is ridiculous. Who wrote this thing?" he says, leafing through the thing.
Phainon smiles at him sheepishly. "Cipher might have? Or Anaxa, he writes most of the scripts," he says. "I'm sure it's not that bad. It's just something for the viewers to get to know you better. Like an intro. Just read it out loud, and I'll keep the camera rolling."
Mydei scowls at the paper in front of him. "This is how people should learn to know me?" He stares at Phainon as he reads the text out loud with a deep scowl on his face: "I'm Mydeimos Kremnos. I'm 28 years old, and single. Despite being the heir of the Kremnos Corp, I've found my true passion in the kitchen of my restaurant the Fig Stew. But now I'm ready for a new chapter in my life: to start a family and my find my true love here as the Okheman Bachelor."
Phainon coughs into his hand, not quite managing to hide his grin. "Okay, that last bit was a bit over the top."
"Hmph."
"You can freeform it if you want," Phainon amends. "Don't think about the camera. Just tell me about yourself."
"Like what?"
"Anything. What you like? What you're good at? What you're looking forward to in life," Phainon says. "How would you normally introduce yourself to a date?"
"I don't date."
Phainon wiggles his eyebrows. "Someone as handsome as you? I find that hard to believe."
"Doesn’t make it true," Mydei says. "How would you do it?"
"Well…" Phainon thinks about it a minute before turning the camera towards himself, smiling sweetly. "My name is Phainon Khaslana. I'm 28 years old. Photo- and videography have been my life since my teens. That and my dog Snowy. He, like me, likes early morning jogs, watching movies cuddling on the sofa, and handmade treats."
Mydei looks at him in disbelief. "You're really comparing yourself to your dog?"
Phainon shrugs. "Why not? He's a great dog."
Mydei has definitely met worse people than dogs, he'll have to give Phainon that. And the man's demeanor isn't entirely unlike an excited puppy dog either.
"It's your turn," Phainon says, pointing the camera again at Mydei.
"….I like cooking. It was my dream to become a chef."
"That's good! I could get some nice shots as you cook."
Mydei snorts. "The kitchen is terrible. I already told Cipher that."
"Something simple? It doesn't need to be complicated. I can make you look good even if you're frying an egg."
Mydei huffs. "I'm a Memchelin-star chef, and you want to film me frying an egg?"
"Why not? I'm sure you'd make it taste great!"
Mydei gives him a long, assessing look. "I'll make you pancakes," he says. "It's the first thing I ever learned how to bake."
"Even better," Phainon says, taking Mydei's hand to lead him to the kitchen. "Come on, we can wrap this up as you cook."
His skin is very warm against Mydei's own.
—
While the staff was a nice surprise, when it's time for Mydei to meet the twenty men who have come to try to woo him, he isn't particularly impressed. They're all handsome, in a classic sort of way, all tall and in good shape. But with twenty of them, many of them styled almost identically, Mydei has a hard time even remembering all their names. For the first night of the season, when they roll up to the mansion in limousines one after one, they've all been dressed in suits or tuxes of all the colors of the rainbow, the collars of their dress shirts undone to varying degrees.
In his mind, he can't help but call them by the color of their suits. Mr. Blue, Mr. Green, Mr. Pink….
None of them has anything particularly interesting to say. Most of them want to spend their screen time listing their accomplishments or maintaining a quirky persona that Mydei can't stand. There are at least three aspiring models and eight wannabe influencers. None of them are here to find a true companion, but that's fine.
Even if the contestants are a disappointment, Mydei didn't really expect anything else. Like him, they're here to use the franchise to their own ends and Cipher had warned him that would be the case.
The people he sends home every week aren't madly in love with him, but only with the ticket to fame he represents. It makes it easy to let Cipher do the choosing.
"So, who are we thinking of dropping this week?" Cipher asks him toward the end of the first shooting week. "I need to keep a couple of the mean ones. It's good TV."
"I'm just here to make my father mad. It doesn't really matter," Mydei says.
Cipher cocks her head to one side. "Really, you don't like any of them one bit?"
"I just met them, but they don't really seem my type."
"And what would that be?"
Mydei shrugs. He'd given some general guidelines before the recruitment process, but it all feels superficial now. "Someone….real." Who doesn't care for his name or the fame.
Cipher shakes her head. "Oh, little lion, that's in short supply in reality TV."
"I know," Mydei says. "As I said, it doesn't really matter. You choose."
It won't make a difference, in the end.
The main trip of the season is to a resort island south of Styxia.
To the contestants, it promises near-endless sun, a cool, turquoise sea with white-sanded beaches, and cocktails in every color of the rainbow. There are pool parties, a group date involving beach volleyball, and a nighttime barbecue feast.
There are also three boring dates with the winners of the volleyball tournament, all of them involving lathering each other with copious amounts of sunscreen.
Phainon is there for the last one of the three, to catch the intimate moment of them standing at the beach, staring at the sunset together with his trusty camera. But unlike all the other times Phainon has shot with Mydei, instead of sunshine smiles he wears a thunderous expression thorought the whole date.
"What's gotten into you?" Mydei asks him after, when Phainon is putting his gear away.
"He's a douche."
Mydei shrugs. "Aren't they all?"
"You haven't heard how he talks about you when you're not there."
"Like what?"
Like how he'd like to bend you over the nearest surface every time you're in the room."
"Really?"
"It's crude," Phainon says and then adds more quietly, "You deserve better."
"I see." Mydei pauses. "Maybe I should keep his rose this week, then."
Phainon looks at him, wide-eyed. "Cipher would be furious. He's good TV."
"Too bad, I'm the Bachelor," Mydei says like it's the simplest thing in the world. If she complains, he'll just make it up to her some other way.
The creep is gone the next day, and Phainon's mood id decidedly improved after that.
On their last day on the island, Cipher wants a shot of Mydei rising from the sea in nothing but a pair of absurdly small speedos and sunglasses. Mydei refuses the speedos, but he does agree to the shoot. Granted that he gets to keep his own swimwear, he has no issue going shirtless.
Or he didn't when he thought it was just one shot, the scowl on his face deepening with each additional reshoot.
"How many takes is this going to be?" he asks after what must have been at least the tenth time.
Phainon, out of respect to the burning hot sun, has changed his sweat pants and hoodies to bermuda shorts and a truly atrocious collection of Hawaiian shirts. Today's number is blue, with pictures of tiny white dogs printed all over it. It shouldn't look endearing, but it sort of does.
"Just one more," he says, flashing Mydei his best puppy dog eyes, and Mydei, like a fool, obliges.
"What did you even need all those shots for?" he asks when it's done.
"Oh, the first take was perfect!" Phainon says entirely too cheerfully as he puts his camera down in its case. "But you looked so good posing like that, it would have been a waste not to get a few extras." There's not even a hint of remorse in his voice.
The audacity of the man.
To taste his own medicine, Mydei pushes him into the sea.
Phainon yelps, flailing as he lands on his ass in the shallow. In his attempt to cushion his fall, he only ends up throwing more water on himself. It's enough to drench his clothes. With wet hair falling over his eyes, he looks up at Mydei like a kicked puppy.
But it's not his wet hair that takes Mydei by surprise, but the way the now-sopping wet shirt clings to Phainon, revealing a six-pack Mydei didn't know existed.
Mydei blinks at the sight. It's almost…obscene. Why would Phainon hide a body like that under all the ridiculous sweats?
Phainon makes full use of Mydei's distraction, sneaking a hand around his ankle. The wet sand shifts under his feet, the ground disappearing so that it's now Mydei's turn to sputter out water in indignation.
"Now we're even," Phainon says.
His sunny grin is almost enough to appease Mydei. Almost.
"Best two out of three wins," he says, launching water at Phainon.
Phainon's amile only turns wider. "Deal," he grunts as he lunges at Mydei.
—
After they've returned to Okhema and the Manor, Cipher glues herself to Mydei's side one evening, slightly tipsy from the booze from the celebratory garden party. There's just one more week of filming to go, and the first TV spots advertising the show are ready to roll out.
The marketing team shows the teaser to them all, projected on the Manor wall.
Most of it is just Mydei. There's his slow walk out of the water in Styxia in nothing but his swim trunks, beads of water running down his tanned, tattooed skin in vivid detail. But there's also Mydei cooking, Mydei running…Mydei smiling in a way that looks too soft for his face. When had he done that?
To have crammed all that into less than a minute with shots of at least ten of the contestants included as well is truly a feat. It will definitely be enough to make his father mad.
“Mydei, Mydei, Mydei,” Cipher says, wrapping one arm around Mydei's shoulder. "This is going to be a great season! I knew it would, of course! But you're even better than I would have expected. The camera loves you," she says, "Or maybe just the camera men. Haha, kidding!"
"Can I share this already?"
"It's going public as we speak. Just do it! There's nothing he can do to stop it now." Cipher winks at him. With a few taps of her fingers, she sends him the link.
For the first time in years, Mydei sends a text to his father that isn't a reply, forwarding Cipher's message without any added caption.
It takes two minutes for Mydei's phone to blow up with a call. He mutes it, only for another to immediately come through. After a third one, he blocks the number again and turns his phone off.
It won't keep Eurypon away for long, but he'll enjoy it as long as it lasts.
Cipher watches him, an amused smile on her lips. "One goal successfully down!" she says. "And there's still one week to go with the show!"
"How are you feeling about our last three? Any way I can convince you to propose to one of them by the end of the week?"
Mydei snorts. Picking people to stay has been harder than picking them to leave. "I don't think any of them are marriage material."
Cipher sighs. "Man, I was hoping my first gay bachelor would have a happy ending," she says. "Can't win them all."
"I thought the ratings mattered more."
"They do! But can't a woman crave some romance to sweeten the deal?"
Mydei just looks at her. He wouldn't have guessed there to be a romantic bone in Cipher's body.
"Anyway! One win down, that alone deserves a toast! You want something, little lion?"
"Just pomegranate juice."'
"One pomegranate juice, coming right up!"
Almost as soon as Cipher leaves, her chair is pulled back, another taking her seat.
"I—It's a bit early, but congratulations on lasting the season," Phainon says. "I know next week will get busy." His arm shoots up towards Mydei, something dotted blue and green grasped in his hand.
Mydei finds himself staring at a bouquet of forget-me-nots—if it can be called one. It looks like a bunch of flowers picked up by the roadside, nothing like the bouquets Mydei's mother used to favor or he buys for his restaurants. The whole thing is a little lopsided. The flower stems are unevenly cut, and the leaves a little squished, but the little blue flowers still stand proudly along the stem, their color almost identical to Phainon's eyes.
"The bachelor is always giving out flowers. I thought you deserved some, too," Phainon says when Mydei's silence lasts a little too long, anxiously wringing his hands. "Sorry, it isn't much. I couldn't get my hands on the roses. They keep those locked up tight." He doesn't stay to wait for Mydei's reply. "Anyway, I should go now! See you around, Mydei!"
When he is gone, Mydei turns the bunch of flowers in his hands. As far as bouquets go, it's atrocious. Something that should only be endearing if gifted by a child. Yet Mydei finds himself smiling at the small, unassuming flowers all the same.
Really, it's a shame that none of the contestants are more like Phainon.
Beep.
He's snapped out of his reverie by what sounds like the recording sound of a phone.
Cipher is back, her phone in her hand. She's smiling in an unnerving way that always makes Mydei feel uneasy.
"What?" he asks.
"Oh, nothing! Just getting some backstage footage," Cipher says. "Here's your glass! A toast to your dad's rising blood pressure! And a great last week!" She clinks their glasses together a little too quickly. "Now, where did Phainon go? I just had a fun idea for next week…."
The next morning, Cipher wakes Mydei up bright and early, insisting he wear another suit. He expects it to be for a favor fancy date, but instead, Cipher just has him stand outside at the grand entrance like, decked to the nines, like they're waiting for something.
The longer it takes and nothing happens, the more frustrated Mydei becomes. "Why are we here? Wasn't I supposed to have a date in the city today? We're going to be late."
He gets his answer when a limousine rolls up to the yard. One that looks exactly like the ones that haf brought the contestants there on the first day.
"Another contestant? Now?" Mydei's annoyance is starting to bleed into his voice. Just what is Cipher playing at?
"Just wait and see," Cipher says.
The limousine door opens, revealing a familiar head of white hair. When Phainon steps out of the car, he looks very different from last night. His glasses are gone, and so are his usual ridiculous shirts, replaced by a sharply cut light blue suit that hugs his figure just right.
Giving Mydei a sheepish grin, he lifts his hand to run his fingers through his hair now toussled artfully to one side, only to stop himself at the last minute. Instead, he squares his shoulders, his smile disappearing as his mouth sets into a determined line. "My name is Phainon Khaslana. I'm 28 years old. Photo and videography have been my life since my teens. That and my dog Snowy. He, like me, likes early morning jogs, watching movies cuddling on the sofa, and handmade treats. I'd like to find someone to share that life with." He pauses, looking straight at Mydei. "I came to the Okheman Bachelor to find that person."
Mydei crosses his arms in front of his chest, hiding his smile from the camera, only for Phainon to see. "Heh. Think you can woo me in a week?"
"I'll certainly try my best," Phainon says, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "If you'll allow me."
Mydei nods. Challenge accepted. "Bring it on!"