Chapter Text
All it took for Wei Wuxian’s self-control to break was a waiter putting down the plates on their shared table. He couldn’t help it! The meat had such a strong aroma he could smell it from the kitchen. Wei Wuxian couldn’t wait to taste it, reaching for chopsticks felt like a waste of time, so he chose to just use his hands. As he had expected, the taste did not disappoint. Such soft was the texture, that he could feel the food dissolve in his mouth without needing to chew. The pork quickly disappeared, and he didn’t even have time to lick spicy sauce off his fingers when a second dish landed right in front of him. This time a chicken. Probably equally delicious, but Wei Wuxian barely tasted it – he ate it even faster than the first one, swallowing right after tearing piece off of meat.
In the meantime, the third dish arrived, but Wei Wuxian was so focused on just eating, he didn’t even register change of what he was eating. It was only after he briefly chocked on a way too big piece he took in his mouth, when two hands seized his, making it impossible for him to continue the feast. Firstly, he tried to fight them off, but the hold was too strong.
“Wei Ying, slow down” he heard a familiar voice. Finally, his gaze left the now three almost empty plates in front of him and met the golden eyes of a person in front of him. Oh, right. He invited Lan Zhan for dinner with him and A-Yuan. He completely forgot he had company. Both of them wore puzzled expressions. Lan Zhan at least tried to hide it, but didn’t manage too well. What was that?! Sure, he was hungry, but not that hungry. He hadn’t eaten like a wild animal since he got taken from the streets. Recently, he got an itch whenever he passed the meat stalls in the market, but it is only natural when all you eat are home-grown radishes and occasional potatoes. “Rest, or you will get an upset stomach.” Lan Wangji took his plate and put it on the other side of the table, out of his reach. Then he handed him a napkin to clean his sticky hands.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right” Wei Wuxian answered shortly and averted his gaze. This was awkward. What would Lan Zhan think of him now? Well, he already did not think anything good, that’s for sure. Why did he even invite Lan Zhan in the first place, he must have known, it couldn’t end well. Still, he should have expected it to end with a quarrel, not whatever that was.
“Xian-gege?” The kid finally broke the silence.
“A-Yuan! Did you like the food?” A-Yuan nodded his head energetically. “I’m sure you did, you even have a little crumb in the corner of your lips!” Wei Wuxian laughed forcefully at first but seeing the kid trying to get the nonexistent crumb off of his face soon made him chuckle for real.
“You are clean” Lan Wangji assured A-Yuan, and then addressed Wei Wuxian “Do not make fun of children” He shot him a reprimanding look which A-Yuan copied with an offended “mhm!” Making Wei Wuxian laugh even more, but then he realized something.
“Lan Zhan, I can’t believe it. You actually spoke during a meal” even though, Wei Wuxian is in temporary time out when it comes to eating, the other two still had half-full plates in front of them.
“You can’t speak when eating?” A–Yuan asked
“Mn” Lan Wangji confirmed. “Speaking during meals is forbidden.”
“Why?”
“You see Little Radish” Wei Wuxian didn’t give the other man a chance to reply, “This rich-gege comes from the most boring place in the whole word!” Lan Wangji furrowed his brows, “It’s barely allowed to breath there. And I’m speaking from experience, I was stuck there for some time, almost died from boredom.” A-Yuan, with his mouth slightly opened in awe, was listening as if Wei Wuxian was passing on the most important of knowledge.
“Can we go there?”
“What? Of course not, you would hate it I can promise you.”
“Rich-gege” A-Yuan now looked at Lan Wangji. “Can we come visit?”
“A-Yuan! Where are your manners? Didn’t Wen Qing teach you that inviting yourself over is rude?”
“You may come visit the Cloud Recesses. Both of you are invited,” Lan Wangji spoke up.
“Lan Zhan! You can’t just say things like that to him, he’s gonna be nagging me forever now” Wei Wuxian scolded, but couldn’t really be mad when met with one of A-Yuan’s brightest smile. The kid was just too cute when he clapped his hands excitedly.
After that, the went back to eating. Wei Wuxian got his plate back and felt his mouth water just at the sight. Lan Zhan must have put a heating talisman on it when he wasn’t paying attention, because the food was as warm as when it first got here. A whole chicken with one of its legs torn away. The sight made shame bloom in Wei Wuxian’s guts. How did he lose control like that? Holding chopsticks like a civilized man, he resumed the meal. Something inside him was begging for more, faster, but this time Wei Wuxian was prepared for it. He focused on not making a scene once again, steadying his hands when they started moving too quickly and not letting unchewed food to his throat. It was more challenging than one could have thought. What was weird about it, was that he wasn’t particularly hungry anymore, yet it was as if some unknown force was commanding him to eat no matter what. His stomach wasn’t hurting from overeating either.
At last, the empty plate, without the smallest crumb left was staring back at him. He sighed, tired, yet knowing that if more food was served, he would eat it without a second thought. Staring at Lan Zhan, who was finishing his meal, Wei Wuxian was trying to come up with a new topic of conversation. He no longer was up-to-date with all cultivation world news, however Lan Wangji wasn’t a type to know the latest gossip either. But if they all finish eating, and the silence falls there would be no other option than to carry on with their lives – he would go back to the Burial Mounds and Lan Wangji to Cloud Recesses. Who knows when they would be able to meet like this again—peacefully on the market going on about their day? If he says nothing this pleasant afternoon will end, and he wasn’t quite ready for it yet.
“Shoot.”
His thought were cut short when he felt a talisman setting itself on fire in his robes – the talisman that was supposed to alert him if something happens to Burial Mounds. He leaped to his feet in an instant, hoisting A-Yuan and putting him on his hips, then running out of the restaurant. He needed to get there fast, his mind already serving him the darkest scenarios.
“Why not travel by sword?” Lan Wangji, who was already forgotten in the face of the danger, asked running alongside Wei Wuxian.
“Forgot to bring mine.”
These words were enough to make Lan Wangji pull Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan on Bichen and shoot up into the sky. Without any protests Wei Wuxian showed him the way to go, and they rushed there accompanied by A-Yuan’s excited giggles – who could blame him? It was his first time flying.
When they arrived at the scene, there was chaos. Wen Ning woke up and went berserk. Scared Wens hid in hutches. Lan Wangji quickly starting playing his guqin to subdue other fierce corpses, which roamed around the mountain. Wen Qing was trying to talk to her brother, to calm him down, but her efforts were futile. Still, she refused to stop, even though Wen Ning wasn’t conscious enough, to think of anything besides attacking. Wei Wuxian quickly rushed towards her, still holding A-Yuan.
“Take him to safety, I will take care of Wen Ning. Do not worry, I’ve got it under control” It was obvious that Wen Qing was reluctant to leave her brother, but since child’s wellbeing was at risk, there was no choice, but to get away.
Wei Wuxian sounded certain, but in reality he had no idea what to do. His talismans were supposed to keep Wen Ning pacified until he came up with a solution. Now there was no time for thinking, the fierce corpse was getting closer and closer to makeshift houses. He had no choice but to bring Chenqing to his lips and try every tune which came to his head, hoping something would work. But nothing did. Wen Ning launched at Wei Wuxian with inhuman speed, before he or Lan Wangji were able to react. As the fist was about to hit Wei Wuxian straight in his abdomen an unknown force knocked Wen Ning away, like a protective barrier. It sent him flying in the other direction until his back hit a tree, then he fell to the ground.
Wei Wuxian stumbled backwards due to losing balance but was unharmed. He saw Lan Wangji stopping his playing and rushing towards him. “I’m alright! Focus on Wen Ning!” Now was their chance. They both got closer to Wen Ning, their playing intensified. Not until fog left Wen Ning’s eyes did they rest. His eyes were still white, but one could see consciousness behind them.
Soon, the danger was no more. Wei Wuxian explained everything to freshly awakened Wen Ning, who looked as if he wanted to bawl his eyes out, but couldn’t. An idiosyncrasy of a living corpse. Watching A-Yuan literally throw himself in still-kinda-stiff arms of his uncle was heartwarming. Even Wen Qing let her cool facade fade and a few happy tears trailed down her cheeks. Soon, all the Wens gathered together. When Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji made sure everything was safe, they left, so the family could have a peaceful, private reunion.
“Since you’re already here, want me to show you around?” Wei Wuxian asked, hoping for a positive answer, which he got in form of a ‘mn’. “Let’s go then!” he set off gesturing for Lan Wangji to follow him, springs in his steps. He told him about every place they passed, like a professional tour guide. Throughout this whole time, he stole subtle (at least in his opinion) glances at Lan Wangji looking for a sliver of approval. He couldn’t stop wondering whether Lan Wangji liked this place, he really wanted him to. Wait, he’s being stupid. What is there to like about Burial Mounds? This place used to be a graveyard just a few months earlier. The stench of death would never vanish from the air. The ground was mushy, for reasons Wei Wuxian didn’t want to give much thought. Burial Mounds were repulsive at best, if Lan Wangji had any feelings towards it, it must have been disgust.
“Wei Ying?” The person occupying his thoughts pulled him out of them. “Is everything alright?” Wei Wuxian didn’t even notice he stopped talking.
“Of course Lan Zhan, how should I put this… This is the field where I bury A-Yuan in radishes!” he pointed at a sorry looking place with a dozen of thin greens stuck out from mud. At that Lan Zhan widened his eyes in surprise, for the second time today. “Don’t look at me like that, how else will he grow up to be a big, strong man, hm?” Wei Wuxian burst out laughing. Lan Wangji went back to looking unimpressed. “But seriously, these radishes are way better than you would expect. At least one should be ready to eat…” he bent down to check and fished out a very small, grayish vegetable. “Wanna try it? I promise they are safe to eat.”
“Thank you for the offer, Wei Ying. I am not hungry now.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing out on” with that, Wei Wuxian quickly wiped the dirt from the radish on his robes and ate it in three big bites. It was really tasty.
They walked side by side, away from the camp in the direction of a cave. The Demon Quelling Cave. “And here’s where the magic happens. Welcome to my humble house” it really was humble. There was a messy corner where he worked on talismans and his inventions. The flat boulder which stood in the deepest part of the ‘room’ used to be Wen Ning’s resting place. Now, it will probably stay empty and Wen Ning will go live with his family. Next to it was a pile of used fabric – from the torn robes no longer wearable to dirty rags – Wei Wuxian’s bed. Recently, he slept even worse than usual, haunted by pains. Of course, there was a blood pool, but Wei Wuxian tactfully omitted talking too much about it. “Not so scary, is it?”
Lan Wangji did not answer, busy looking at every part of the cave as if he wanted to burn it into his memory. Wei Wuxian sat on a rock, stretching his legs. “No need to be so careful Lan Zhan. Nothing there can hurt you.”
“I am not afraid.”
“Then come rest next to me. Sorry I don’t have anything comfortable to sit on.” Suddenly, once again he felt insecure about bringing Lan Zhan here. When Lan Wangji stood close to him, refusing to sit down on the ground (which he couldn’t blame him for) he asked “You’re not disgusted, right? With this whole place. The esteemed Hanguang-jun should be offended by the offer to hang out here. Yet you didn’t decline. I know it looks bad, but it really isn’t that bad. I mean, I know A-Yuan deserves to grow up in a happier environment, it’s just that it is the best we can do for now. With just a bit more time, I will come up with a way to improve things. There must be a way. They all deserve better. Sorry, you shouldn’t be hearing all this, I just… I don’t know. What was I thinking inviting you here, I’m sorry Lan Zhan-”
“Wei Ying. It is alright. I am glad to be allowed to spend this afternoon with you.”
Oh, Wei Wuxian didn’t even realize when he started babbling, but once he started he couldn’t stop. It just poured out.
“Sorry. You don’t have to lie Lan Zhan. I’m well aware how Burial Mounds look. And what you think of me.”
“Lans do not lie.” he answered looking very serious. Well, more than he usually does.
“Lan Zhan...” Since when was Lan Wangji so smooth? Blood rushed to Wei Wuxian’s cheeks, yet he didn’t bother to suppress a smile blooming on his face.
“If you ever need any help, I would be more than happy to give it to you.”
“We don’t need your charity,” He said too quickly, too defensively.
“I know. I am not offering help out of pity.”
“Then, because of what?” But Lan Wangji did not answer. He just pressed his lips together. “Out of your own righteousness? I understand that we make quite a pitiful image, but we can’t accept your help. It was my choice to save the Wens, and I’m not gonna pull anyone more into this mess. It’s my own duty to protect them.”
“Wei Ying-” He didn’t have a chance to finish.
“Xian-gege?” A small head popped out from the entrance “A-Qing-jiejie says it’s dinner time. Can Rich-gege eat with us?” A-Yuan made the cutest looking puppy eyes.
“A-Yuan, we made Lan Zhan stay here for a whole day, don’t pressure him to stay any longer” Wei Wuxian scolded. However, if it made A-Yuan happy, he supposed he wouldn’t mind having Lan Zhan stick around. No other reason.
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asked.
“Yes?”
“Would you mind me staying for dinner?” He sounded almost shy.
“No, of course not. I even think it would be good for you to eat something different from your bland Cloud Recesses food.” Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but tease a little.
“Then, I would be honored to join you” Lan Wangji stated. A-Yuan let out a happy yelp and run to inform his family about an additional guest.
“You’ve just said you weren’t hungry. You’ve fallen a victim to A-Yuan’s cuteness! Be careful, or you’ll never be able to tell him no” A laugh echoed in the cave. “He’s gonna grow up to be a spoiled child.” To Wei Wuxian’s surprise Lan Wangji’s lips twitched a little. “Lan Zhan did you just smile?! I can’t believe it! Who would have thought Hanguang-jun has a soft spot for children?”
Shortly after, they arrived to where the Wens have been waiting for them. For meals, they gathered next to Wen Popo’s place. It was the hutch with a fireplace and something what could be called a kitchen. The hutch was too small to fit all the Wens inside, so there were benches outside. It could be called the coziest place in the Burial Mounds, especially with fire to warm one up in the evening. After Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sat next to each other, Wen Popo quickly handed them both a bowl of soup. They had soup almost every day – it was the easiest way to feed that many people using the least ingredients. Wen Popo made it in a huge cauldron Wei Wuxian once exchanged his talismans for. Will Lan Zhan like it? Wei Wuxian started wondering. Sure, Wen Popo’s cooking was delicious, however the vegetables grown in their fields or bought for cheap in Yilling were no match for vegetables in Cloud Recesses…
“Huh?” When Wei Wuxian looked down at his crooked bowl, he noticed he had it filled to the brim. It was an unspoken rule to always fill half a bowl in order to save resources. Lan Zhan also had more soup than usual, but since he was a guest it was understandable. “A-Yuan, do you want to switch bowls?” If someone deserves to have more food, it is a child.
“Eat the food Wei-gongzi. A-Yuan ate enough for two grown man while he was helping me cook.” Wen Popo said. ‘Helping’ meant running around.
“You gave me so much.”
“Yet it still might be too little.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh boy, there’s no need to hide anything. Do you think I can’t see you sneaking into our storeroom at night? Old people are light sleepers, you know? And the food has been mysteriously disappearing, it’s not so hard to connect two dots.”
“What?” Wei Wuxian was stunned. He doesn’t remember stealing anything. Usually he would forget about meals or give his portion away to A-Yuan. He is so used to having an empty stomach, it no longer bothers him.
“You have an appetite of a pregnant lady!” She joked “No need to be embarrassed, it is very important that you eat, child. You work hard, for all of us, you need strength.”
Wei Wuxian laughed awkwardly but on the inside he was so confused. How come he had no recollection of doing something like that whatsoever? He strained his memory, but nothing was there. Wen Popo seems serious. What does all of this mean? Absentmindedly he emptied his bowl before everyone else. Apart from that conversation, the dinner was quiet. Frankly, most Wens didn’t feel comfortable around Wei Wuxian, and now they had an additional guest. Of course, Lan Wangji didn’t try to make small talk, especially when eating. Thus, they were accompanied only by the whistling of the wind.
When it was time for Lan Wangji to go home, Wei Wuxian walked him to the protective barrier around Burial Mounds. A-Yuan was too sleepy to join them, thankfully. No doubt he would make a fuss about his Rich-gege leaving. When he was waving goodbye, one could see his eyes glistering.
The sun was setting, giving clouds a nice, orange tint. It was uncommon to see sky here, but dark clouds with colorful shades were almost compensating for the loss. There was beauty in them, almost as if the sky was on fire. The nearer they got to the barrier the clearer the sky became, making it look like a border of a different world. It didn’t take long to get there.
“Wei Ying-”
“Lan Zhan-” They both started talking at the same time. “Can I go first?” Wei Wuxian was aware that he was being rude. However, he had a suspicion what Lan Wangji may say. Today has been a nice day, he couldn’t stand it ending with a lecture about his cultivation. This few hours spend with Lan Zhan will be a warm memory to replay during cold nights, he’d better not spoil it. Besides, he was gathering the courage to say it the whole descend, and courage is a fleeting matter.
“Mn”
“You can keep a secret, right?” It’s a rhetorical question, of course he can. Yet, Wei Wuxian waited for a nod, “Do you know anything about male pregnancies?”
“Wei Ying, do not joke like that,” he furrowed his brows.
“I know, it sounds like I’m joking, but I’m not. There’s just something wrong with me… physically. You saw for yourself, didn’t you? In the restaurant – I have no idea what that was, but it wasn’t normal. And it didn’t make sense to me, until Wen Popo joked about pregnancy. Can you imagine that I don’t remember of stealing food at night? “
“Wei Ying, men cannot get pregnant. What is more, it requires two people to make a child, did you...?” Lan Wangji trailed of uncharacteristically with tips of his ears gradually turning deeper shades of pink.
“No! Of course, I didn’t, you know...” Now it was Wei Wuxian’s cheeks turn to get pink. “But I swear there’s something growing inside me, I can feel it,” He was getting more and more desperate for Lan Zhan to believe him. “Wait, maybe you can feel it too. Give me your hand.” Wei Wuxian quickly adjusted his robes so that his lower belly was visible and before Lan Wangji had a chance to react, he took his hand and put it there.
“Wei Ying!” However, Lan Wangji was too confused to yank his hand back. And it rested there enough for him to feel something like a kick. Soon, a second one followed. Wei Wuxian has never seen such a shocked impression on his face. It took a while for him to look Wei Wuxian in the eyes. “There really is something there. Have you consulted Wen Qing?”
“No, but she’s not gonna help, I don’t think it’s a medical condition. Listen to me, my theory is, but don’t be mad at me, please, that it has something to do with my cultivation. You see, I know what I’m doing is harmful for the mind. That’s why I’ve been experimenting with talismans, spells and whatever I could think of to protect myself, Wens need me mostly sane after all. One of the things I came up with is cursing a part of my body to gather resentful energy there, so it would not get to my mind. I thought I failed the experiment, I didn’t feel any different, but it might not be the case. Do you get what I’m saying?”
“That this is all resentful energy” Lan Wangji rubbed Wei Wuxian’s belly in amazement. “How did you connect it to a pregnancy? Are you thinking it is not just the energy?”
“Exactly. You probably noticed how when we tried to pacify Wen Ning, he tried to hit me but got knocked back. At that moment, I was too slow to react, the defense wasn’t my doing. Resentful energy cannot do anything on its own. It requires someone conscious. And since it wasn’t me, there’s only one option. Something what knows how to use resentful energy is inside me. Moreover, it probably has awareness of some sorts,” The dots were all connecting, yet the more he thought about it, the more unease he felt. “That would also explain, why I want to eat so much. It’s because it wants to eat.”
For a second, no one said anything. Few crows soared above them, disrupting the silence with flaps of their wings. As unrealistic as it sounds, what Wei Wuxian said, made terrifying sense. Even the wind howled as if surprised. Wei Wuxian tried to decipher Lan Wangji’s expression, like always, to no avail. At least he didn’t look repulsed.
“Wei Ying, why are you telling me all this?” Lan Wangji asked. Truth be told, Wei Wuxian was risking a lot. If the cultivation world learns about it, it would only make them more hostile. Lan Zhan said that he would keep it a secret but couldn’t have been expecting to hear something like this. Would he report him to Lan Qiren? After all, Lan Wangji hates demonic cultivation. The thing was, Wei Wuxian didn’t know how dangerous that something was, if it may hurt others, the Wens. Since he was already sneaking around to eat while being unconscious, what else he might do while not in control.
“All I have now, are just theories. I have next to zero knowledge about, how should I even name it? Demonic pregnancies? Until I come up with something cooler, let’s call it that. There’s also no way for me to gather more information, where would I find it? The only place which comes to my mind is Cloud Recesses library. The forbidden part of it. I hate to ask you for this, but please, can you take a look for me? I’m sorry, I know you probably don’t want to do it, if not it’s alright, I won’t force you-”
“Wei Ying. I have already offered help. I will gladly search the library. Do not worry about me telling my uncle or brother, I am aware what could follow.”
“Really?” Lan Wangji nodded, and a smile bloomed on Wei Wuxian’s face “Thank you, thank you so much! Oh, Lan Zhan I have no idea how to repay you.” He was so lucky he ran into Lan Zhan today. Who knows how long he would be unaware that something was wrong? Pain and hunger were normal to him, the fact that he could feel them more than usual wasn’t anything he’d paid attention to.
“Do not mention it. I will come back as quickly as I will find something,” Nothing more needed to be added. The sun was almost set, and only two crows remained in the sky. It was high time Lan Wangji went home and Wei Wuxian started working on talismans he was planning to sell in Yilling. “See you soon Wei Ying.”
“See you!” Wei Wuxian watched Lan Wangji go until he disappeared. His thoughts were in disarray, but alongside fear a seed of hope was forming in his heart He’d never expected to ask Lan Wangji of all people for help. Maybe he would have behaved differently if he had more time to think this matter through. However, with Lan Wangji leaving, all possibilities to explore the topic left too. Wanting to keep everyone safe meant that was his best choice.