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The worst thing about being in love with your best friend is just having to deal with it, Megumi thought morosely as he held up various shirts against the mirror. Despite how much he hated his parents indulging him with overexpensive gifts, they were unfortunately all exactly to his taste, and now his wardrobe was overflowing. Giving up on trying to force the hanger back in, he tossed it onto the bed, knocking over his phone in the process.
“That felt personal,” his other best friend, Nobara, commented. Her voice came out muffled, the phone’s speakers buried under cloth. “Seriously, you’re taking longer than I did to pick an outfit. Just wear whatever - you know Yuuji won’t care. You might as well go in your pajamas.”
“It’s not about Yuuji,” Megumi grumbled, but felt the telltale blush rising in his cheeks. He was glad the camera was covered so Nobara couldn’t see his reaction, but she must’ve guessed anyway as she began to laugh heartily.
“Sure it’s not,” she teased. “But please, please, please hurry up. I’m nearly at your house.”
He rolled his eyes and pulled out a fresh jumper. Seeing it dredged up some half buried memory of the last time he wore it - the way Yuuji’s fingers had grazed his sleeve, big doe eyes coming up to meet his. “New jumper? It looks good on you.” Then his fingers had dropped, eyes lighting up as he caught sight of something, someone else, yet the weight of his attention, brief as it was, had slammed into Megumi like a truck.
It’s not about Yuuji, Megumi tried to affirm as he began to do the buttons, fingers slipping a little over the polished surface. It’s not about Yuuji, you just want to look good at the biggest party of the year. Yeah, that’s right.
It was a long standing tradition for Yuuji to host a New Year’s Eve party, dating back all the way to their high school years. And every year, it just began to grow and grow, everyone and their neighbour attending the event. All of it just made it harder and harder for him to be near Yuuji when the clock struck twelve. He felt his throat constrict. If he had to see his best friend sucking lips with some girl again, he might as well just give up.
“Are you still going to try and steal a kiss from him at midnight?” Nobara asked. From the background he could hear the sounds of traffic and bustling crowds, the microphone just catching her quiet curses as she weaved around slow walkers.
“...Yes,” he admitted, covering his face with his hands. It was truly pitiful, how far he’d go to do something, anything with his crush, even if it meant nothing in the end. Even if he would just excuse it as part of the rush. Even if it would be the only taste he’d ever get, he’d savour those seconds, pretending they were actually together. He thinks he could die satisfied, holding that small piece of heaven. It was beginning to sound like he was in lo-
“For what it’s worth, good luck. I can’t stand to watch you pine for another year,” Nobara cut in, interrupting his thoughts right when they began to run into directions he’d rather not explore.
“Thanks,” he sighed, finally unearthing the phone from the heap of clothing, scrunching his nose as discarded pieces fell onto the floor. On the other side of the screen, his best friend was walking briskly, hair bobbing with each step and golden eyeshadow glittering when she blinked.
Nobara rolled her eyes when he finally turned the camera back onto himself. “Good to see you’re finally ready. I’ll be there soon, okay?”
“Sure,” he replied. She gave a short wave before the dial tone sounded and the screen clicked shut, giving him a view of his reflection. He ruffled his hair slightly, playing with the longer ends. His father always had this ‘artfully messy’ look everyone fawned over - was he emulating it well enough?
Whatever. It will get messed up on the way out, he’s sure.
Megumi descended the stairs, catching sight of his parents sitting at the dining table. They were talking quietly but looked up as he entered, putting down the steaming cups they cradled in their hands. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Gojo’s legs were resting in Geto’s lap.
“Oh,” Geto said. “We didn’t realise you were still here. Your sisters have all left already. There’s some leftover food if you would like.”
“You sound so happy to see me,” he muttered, but the retort was halfhearted and lacking bite, more muscle memory than anything. He fumbled around the kitchen, pulling open pantry doors to find something that could pass for a meal. The thought of surviving on nothing but alcohol and finger food for the rest of the night made his stomach churn.
Megumi made his way back to the table, a plate in one hand and a placemat between his fingers. Sitting opposite his parents, he took a bite, absentmindedly patting one of his dogs when he felt a wet nose prod at his thigh. Parents were supposed to help with problems, right? Sure, these two were far too infatuated with each other to take a look at the world around them, but they also had an admittedly impressive number of degrees between them, so maybe there was a little bit more in their heads after all.
“Random question, but how did you guys begin dating?” he asked, swallowing down his mouthful, seeing them sit up straighter in their chairs and already regretting it. “I don’t need all the details. Just the general gist of it.”
“Megumiiii!” Gojo gasped, blue eyes positively sparkling. “I thought you’d never ask. You know, Suguru was-”
“Not you,” he interrupted, glancing at his other father. “You.”
Geto, the actual intended recipient of his question, smiled, patting his husband’s leg in comfort when he began to complain about how rude their son was. “Well, Satoru and I had been best friends long before we started dating. We spent every waking second together, and once I realised I was in love with him it became harder and harder to keep the feelings down. Every time I looked at him, it was a struggle to keep the words from spilling out.” He looked at his partner, unbearable fondness in his eyes. Even now, decades on, a blush still rose on Gojo’s cheeks, a dusting of red across his ears.
Gross, Megumi thought, but far too used to it to let it ruin his appetite.
“But I never let it slip,” he continued, gaze steady. “I couldn’t tell you how, or why, but one day it just happened. In the end it was Satoru who kissed me first. We were lying in bed - yes, we slept together, and I mean actually sleeping - and after the credits ran we were just staring at the black screen. I was watching his reflection more than him, but he called my name, and I think I must’ve been scared of something because I didn’t turn around the first time. But he said it again, so softly I thought I misheard it, and when I met his eyes he kissed me. We talked things out, and here we are. Would I have ever let myself consider the fact that he liked me back if he didn’t take the first step? Well, no, but sometimes things like this just fall into place. It wasn’t fate or anything, just the natural next step for us. Does that answer your question?”
“I guess,” he said. Sure, it answered his question, but he still felt that uncomfortable bubble in his chest, something within him that wasn’t yet appeased. “Thanks.”
“Why, Megs, are you going to finally tell Yuuji how you feel?” Gojo exclaimed. “On New Year’s Eve too, how romantic!”
“Shut up,” he replied, looking away, feeling the telltale heat rise on his face, and knew both of them saw it for the confirmation it was. Luckily, his favourite parent had the sense to shut his other father up before he could begin teasing, wrapping an arm around his waist. Gojo gave in immediately, pressing a kiss to his husband’s cheek. Seeing them lean into each other, soft and comfortable, he couldn’t help the shiver that trailed down his spine at the thought of doing all that with Yuuji.
Luckily, the doorbell rang, saving him from any further conversation. “It’s Nobara,” he exclaimed, quickly checking his phone to confirm. “I’ve got to go.”
“Be quiet when you come home, okay? Some of us need our beauty sleep,” Gojo said. “Also, don’t forget to bring condoms. Safe sex is important, you know!”
“What he means to say is good luck,” Geto cut in smoothly before Megumi could kill him. “And have fun tonight! It’s the last night of the year, after all.”
“Sure,” he replied, tongue a little dry as he rose from his seat. He refused to give in to the anticipation and believe in that little ember of hope. “You guys enjoy your night as well.”
Nobara beamed when she saw him. “You look awesome!” she exclaimed. “Everyone’s going to love it.” The stress she put on the first word did not go unnoticed, and he had to suppress a snarky comment when they both knew she was right. He couldn’t pretend, not in front of her, when she has dealt with him for so long.
“Whatever,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets. He was dressed far too lightly for the cold weather, but Nobara was in a similar position and linked their arms together, huddling close to share body warmth. “Let’s get going before I freeze to death.”
“Before we freeze to death,” she corrected, pressing against his side. “Where you go, I go. You think you can escape me even in the afterlife?”
“What is it, a party?”
“Yeah, an eternal party. We can bring Yuuji along too and the three of us can just frolic along up there.”
“Nice to see you’re bringing that optimism into the new year,” Megumi commented, glancing down at her. Their height difference was fairly pronounced, and he could barely see her eyes from the way her auburn bangs covered them. Perhaps noticing this, she reached out to tuck them behind her ear.
“Sure, until it hits Thursday morning and I wake up on Yuuji’s couch with a raging headache,” Nobara scoffed, but the words were said in jest. She nudged his shoulder, a teasing glint to her eyes. “What about you, going to wake up in Yuuji’s bed?”
“What is with everyone today?” he groaned. “You’re just as bad as my parents.”
“Come on, Megumi, everyone knows you’ve been pining after him for ages and ages, and the fact that you try and steal a kiss from him every New Year’s Eve isn’t exactly a secret either.”
“Like that turns out so well,” he said, trying to make the words light and airy to cover the lump in his throat. It felt like something was clawing at his stomach lining, and he had to take several deep breaths, sucking in the winter air until his mouth burned.
“Screw me for being optimistic, but something about this year feels special, you know? I think it might be your chance. And I don’t mean the chance to kiss Yuuji and blame it on the hype of the party. I mean it might be your chance to tell him how you feel, and hear his response. ”
He had to look at her, then, the breeze ruffling their clothes. There’s snow on the wind, he thought distantly, barely noticing his own reply. “People always say something cliche like that.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to believe it once,” she shrugged. “Besides, this is the only time of the year you actually let yourself try.”
He hummed, a noncommittal response. Nobara obviously felt bad, because she nudged his shoulder again. “I’m sorry to bring this up now when we’re supposed to be getting in the mood for a party. I just thought it was something you should know.”
He hummed again, not quite sure what to say, and thankfully Nobara dropped that thread of conversation, instead pointing out the bars and restaurants that were already bustling with people. They walked quickly, already late, but were careful to avoid slipping on the frozen paths beneath their feet. One crowded train ride later, and they were climbing the stairs to Yuuji’s house, the noise of the party already well underway.
“Megumi! Nobara! You’re here!” Yuuji cried when he opened the door. He was a ray of sunshine like always, dressed in that yellow hoodie he always wore, even when hosting what was objectively the best party of the year. Behind him loomed an ominous shadow, but it was only Todo, Yuuji’s ‘other’ best friend. Unfortunately he was also invited.
“I see you finally arrived,” he said, gaze sliding over the two still standing out in the cold.
“Yeah, you guys did take a while,” Yuuji frowned. “Whatever, you’re here now! And that’s all that matters.”
“Sorry about that,” Nobara rolled her eyes, tugging at Megumi’s sleeve. “Someone was taking ages to get ready.”
“Yeah,” Yuuji said. “I can tell.”
How can he just say stuff like that so casually?? Megumi thought, furious, as he desperately tried to calm the racing of his heart. It was the only thing he could hear, the distant thump thump of the party drowned out by the rhythmic beat. He felt like he had been taken apart and rendered anew under Yuuji’s brown eyes, every cell highly strung and thrumming. And then Yuuji smiled at him, so soft and gentle, and oh, wasn’t that something?
“Brother,” Todo cut in, tone almost imperceptible but carrying an edge of warning, as if anything was more important than this moment, than Yuuji’s eyes on him. Megumi had no choice but to mourn the loss of Yuuji’s attention when it snapped back to the other boy. “You must assume your duties as host and return to the party. There is a girl who wants to talk to you, and she’s exactly your type.”
Oh, and that was the second worst thing about being in love with your best friend: the fact that he was probably, most likely, in all certainty, straight. Not in that obnoxious, frat boy way - which Megumi thanked the gods for every day, because frat boy Yuuji had been a very real possibility at one point - but more in that innocent, bumbling way where he would casually talk about girls when sitting right next to the guy who felt all sorts of things for him.
“Maybe! We’ll see,” Yuuji replied, eyes gleaming. “Come on, come on, let’s go inside!”
Megumi strode past Todo, not without levelling a glare at him - Yuuji would always choose him first and they both knew it - whereas Nobara immediately moved to attach herself to Yuuji’s arm, talking loudly as they were overwhelmed by the noise of the party.
The setup was impressive, and the speaker system alone would have left a hefty number on the Itadori’s electricity bill. But somehow, they had managed to clear the living room, roll in a pool table, ping pong table and karaoke machine, as well as install a lighting system that flashed to the beat of whatever song was playing, drawing the room under purple, blue and red filters. Megumi caught sight of Yuuji’s brothers, scattered around the place, perched on the couch and covering the kitchen, yet there was no sign of his twin. Sukuna was probably hiding upstairs in his room as he did every year. Megumi almost envied him.
“Remember when this used to be, like, ten people and a bowl of chips?” Nobara yelled over the crowd. “This gets bigger every year, Yuuji, how do you know this many people?”
She was right; whilst they weren’t fighting against a tide of bodies, the place was crowded and absolutely full of people he did not recognise, let alone know. The dim room made it hard to see, and any discernable features were overwritten by the lighting. Megumi could hear the mass of people extending into the far corners of the house, and upstairs it sounded as if the party was in full swing from the pounding of the bass.
“Oh, I just invite the people I’m friendly with,” Yuuji explained sheepishly, before his attention snagged on someone in the other room. “Wait, there’s Ozawa! I forgot to go say hi to her, I’ll be right back.”
And with that, Yuuji left, flittering around to shower other people with his love and kindness, people who probably did not realise how lucky they were to even share the same breathing air. Todo, too, returned to his game of beer pong, the guys around the table cheering loudly as he approached. At some point he had also lost Nobara, but Megumi’s gaze stayed with Yuuji as he chatted with some girl he had never even seen before. She was laughing at something he said, fingers grazing his arm, but Yuuji glanced up and met his eyes and Megumi realised he was going to need a few drinks if he were going to last until midnight.
Swiping a cup of something that tasted artificial and fruity, he leaned back in the corner of the room. One sip was all that was needed to remind him why he didn’t drink in the first place, but he finished it with a grimace, the liquid leaving a sickeningly sweet taste in the back of his throat. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps it was just having stepped out of the crowd, but he felt himself relax, allowing his thoughts to wander.
Every single year it was like this. Every single year, he’d watch Yuuji from afar. They’d dance around each other all night long, but they’d always end up gliding right on by, and he’d be forced to stare as he wrapped his arms around the waist of someone who wouldn’t be there to help him clean up the next morning. It looked like the games had already begun - Yuuji, as handsome and popular as he was, had managed to attract a small crowd around him as he leaned over the pool table, biceps flexing as he lined up a perfect shot. Megumi crushed the plastic cup in his hands, letting it fall into the bin. He couldn’t watch any longer.
Turning away, he left, moving to the upstairs floor. The couple kissing on the stairwell only made his mood worse, and he strode past them with heavy steps, hands sliding on the wooden banister. Parties did this sort of thing to him, which is why he tended to avoid them. But, as always, he made an exception when Yuuji was the one hosting them. He muttered excuses as he pushed through a group of people blocking the hallway, only stopping to drop beside Choso, who was sitting with his back against the wall.
His hair was messy, free from its usual ties to fall around his face. He carried the distinctly rumpled and dazed look of someone who regretted a decision made within the last five minutes. He didn’t greet Megumi, not turning to acknowledge him or murmur a greeting. Instead, he said, “Did you find Yuuji? He was looking for you earlier.”
“Yeah,” Megumi rasped, ignoring the way his stomach clenched. “He was at the door. He was the one who let us in.”
“I’m glad,” Choso sighed, closing his eyes. Despite how obviously tired he looked, his makeup was still impeccable, not smudged in the slightest. “He was very worried he wouldn’t be able to see you today, and that he’d have to spend the entire time looking for you.”
“Yuuji knows where I like to hide. I’m sure he would’ve found me eventually,” Megumi replied easily. As untroubled as the words came across, he couldn’t ignore the doubt spreading through his veins. Would Yuuji have found him eventually, or would they continue to circle each other for yet another New Year’s Eve? Noticing Choso’s eyes were still closed, he prodded the older boy. “Hey, don’t fall asleep on me just yet. There’s still a bit of time until the fireworks.”
Choso groaned, the sound low and guttural, but pried his eyes open anyway. The two stayed where they were, eye-level with the knees of the people walking past. Eventually growing tired of only being able to identify people by their legs, Megumi pressed his hands into the ground, pushing himself upright. “You sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, slightly concerned, but Choso just nodded, clambering to a stand as well.
“Thanks for joining me,” he said, holding Megumi’s gaze. “For what it’s worth, you should go for it tonight.”
Megumi was left there, flustered and confused, growing increasingly more embarrassed with how obvious his crush had been that even Yuuji’s older brother could notice. Dragging a palm across his face, he rubbed at his eyes, seeing the world blur as they refocused. Out of a sort of morbid curiosity, he pulled out his phone, with a feeling much like signing his death warrant. The glowing screen stared back at him. 11:17. The bold letters hung, superimposed over an image of the three of them - him, Yuuji, Nobara. Nobara, he remembered, something tugging at him. I should go find her. Make sure she hasn’t passed out already.
After wandering the house for what felt like ages, hyperaware of how the seconds ticked closer and closer to midnight, he found her, crouched under a table in an upstairs room. He cursed as he bumped his head, crawling underneath to sit with her.
“Megumi!” she shouted, the syllables of his name slightly slurred. Grabbing his shoulders, she pressed her face close to his, as if making sure he was real. “You’re here! Come join me!”
“What are we doing?” he asked, trying to stifle his laughter. Drunk Nobara was always fun. With any luck, she’ll provide some blackmail material tonight.
“Shhh,” she hushed, eyes roaming around the room. “Not too loud.” Leaning in once again, like she was sharing a deep secret, she said, reverently, “We are eating grapes.”
“Eating grapes? Aren’t you supposed to do that at midnight?”
“No, no, no, Meg’mi. You’re all wrong. We’re not eating grapes, we’re practicing eating grapes,” she corrected, the distinction obviously gravely important to her. It was only then that he took in her appearance, the lipstick streaked across her lips. Somewhere along the way she had lost her jacket, but she seemed not to notice, instead dipping her fingers into the bowl between her legs.
A whole cluster of grapes, still on the thick branch, was lying in a pool of cold water, a remnant of someone’s attempt to wash them. There were many large grapes still attached, the sweet type that will crunch satisfyingly between your teeth, but Nobara plucked off a tiny piece of fruit, pressing the half-shrivelled bulb to his lips.
“Say ahh,” she said, growing impatient when he didn’t open his mouth. Megumi eventually acquiesced, wincing as the bitter taste flooded his tongue. He wished desperately for a glass of water - or anything at this point, even some more alcohol - to wash it down. Eventually, after he had pulled enough faces, his salvia regained its normal flavour, and he watched as Nobara pulled off the biggest grape.
Feeling vindictive, he stopped her just as she was about to eat. “So, what’s your record then?” When she looked at him, obviously confused, but still not eating the grape, he continued. “You know, your record? How quickly can you eat twelve grapes?”
“Does it matter?” Nobara replied, a frown gracing her features.
“Of course it does. Don’t you know, you’re supposed to eat them all in under a minute? Otherwise you won’t find loooove,” he dragged out the word, finding a great deal of entertainment in the way she looked absolutely stricken, face frozen and panicked.
“Megumi!” she hissed, pulling the bowl close to her chest. “Megumi. Why are you here?” When he only laughed in response, she gasped. “You don’t need to be here. You have love already. Now go away, I need to practice.”
With a rare grin, he climbed out from under the table, stretching out the kinks in his back. Out of habit more than anything, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, the smile slipping off his face when he checked the time. In the background, he dimly registered people moving, flocking into the living room or crowding into groups as they prepared to count down the new year.
Even if he started now, there was absolutely no way he’d find Yuuji before the fireworks began. Perhaps this was better, being alone when the clock strikes twelve, than having to see his best friend with someone else, but he dropped the thought as soon as it came. He’d always rather see Yuuji.
Resigning himself to another year alone, that uninspiring encouragement of ‘I’ll try again next year!’ ringing through his brain, he pushed his way through the hustle of sparkling headbands and ostentatious glasses, sliding open the screen door to step out into the balcony. Immediately, the cold night air hit him with force, the breeze rustling his hair. Leaning on the railing, he looked out at the city, the lights and sounds as the entire population prepared to welcome in the new year. He smiled faintly, somewhat comforted by the scene.
Maybe someone else would have missed the almost imperceptible sound of the door to the balcony clicking shut once more, the sound of hesitant footsteps on the wooden boards, but he couldn’t. He knew those movements like the back of his hand. He would know those movements in another life, in another universe.
“Megumi,” someone said from behind him, and he ignored the tendril of recognition that coiled in his heart at that voice. Inside the house, the countdown started, the numbers echoing around the city. Nothing was louder than the shuffle of feet as the other person joined him to lean out over the railing.
“Megumi,” Yuuji said, voice crystal clear despite the background noise, and they could’ve been the only two people in the entire world. “Can I kiss you?”
He turned to face Yuuji, not quite believing the words he whispered, but upon seeing the quiet resolution in his eyes, the way he shifted his weight and fiddled with the hem of his shirt, nervous, he gave a tiny nod. He didn’t trust himself to move, didn’t trust himself not to break the moment and shatter the scene, but luckily Yuuji moved for him, fingers finding a home in the small of his back as the other hand grazed his neck. The touch sent shivers down his spine. His own hands froze, before coming to rest tentatively on Yuuji’s waist, pressing in slightly harder as he grew more confident, more assured that they existed together in this moment. That it wasn’t a cruel dream.
Yuuji’s breath ghosted over his lips, and he closed his eyes. If he died now, then he would die happy, the memory of Yuuji’s face forever burned into his retinas. Those warm brown eyes, a colour he could never tire of, so full of emotion, the small upturn of his lips as he leaned in. The rosy flush of his cheeks, the way the winter air froze the pink tips of his hair.
One.
The sound of fireworks resounded through the sky. Yuuji’s lips pressed against his softly, gently, but so very warm. He tasted sweet, like all the good things in the world, and Megumi was so entranced that he nearly missed it when Yuuji began to pull back, looking shy, the colours flashing through the air painting him in ethereal beauty. He knew then that he couldn’t stop it, the words that spilled out and hung in the air like snowflakes, each one precious and unique.
“Yuuji,” he said, the name rolling off his tongue like it belonged there. “Yuuji, I like you. I like you a lot. I think I’m in love with you, actually.”
Those lovely eyes of his crinkled at the edges, smile more brilliant than any firework. “Well,” he replied, arms slinking up to loop around his neck. “I like you a lot as well, Megumi. I think I’m in love with you, too.”
Megumi could only stay there, wrapped up in Yuuji as he continued, “I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it. I’m sorry if I hurt you along the way. But I like you, so much. I would spend every day of the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. You make me so happy, and I don’t ever want to live in a world without you.”
He couldn’t stop himself, leaning forward to plant another kiss on Yuuji’s lips, swallowing the small laugh as Yuuji giggled against him. When he pulled away, Yuuji slid their fingers together. “Yuuji,” Megumi breathed, reaching up his other hand to trace the lines of his face, knocking their foreheads together. With as much sincerity as he could muster, hoping it could convey all the things he wasn’t quite brave enough to voice aloud, Megumi said, “Yuuji, I would very much like to be your boyfriend.” He revelled in the way Yuuji laughed again, the sound high and sweet, blushing under the winter sky.
With equal gravity, although the effect was lost as Yuuji struggled not to grin, he replied, “Megumi, I would very much like for you to be my boyfriend.” Almost as soon as the words were said he bowed forward, placing another kiss, and another, and again one more, against his mouth.
“Happy New Year, Megumi,” he whispered against the fireworks, only for the two of them to hear.
“Happy New Year, Yuuji.”