Chapter Text
Tarsus IV.
Jim “JT” Kirk stood solemnly, overlooking the mass grave. Barely thirteen and already the innocence of childhood was over, if it had ever been there in the first place. Jim had been born of death and destruction. The death of George Kirk had stained the day of Jim’s birth with misery, overshadowing the child with the greatness left behind by a man who would never return. It was a permanent darkness that seemed impossible to escape; and worse than that, it seemed to be following Jim wherever the child ventured to.
Tarsus IV was supposed to be the beginning of something great. They were supposed to thrive and live happily. But when the plants became diseased Jim and his friends had sought to inform the governor as well as the adults of the strange blackness taking over the crops. Genius or not Jim had only been eleven at the time so the adults didn’t listen. The disease didn’t seem to be spreading very quickly, however, so perhaps it was simply not a worry for the moment. A year later the small colony lost half its’ crops to the disease. Jim began hoarding all he could. His instincts had demanded it; then it happened.
Kodos called for a state of emergency. The crops had completely failed, so they would be rationing the food supply until Starfleet could be contacted. He promised it would only be a few weeks, a month at most. Two months, then three, people were becoming weak, and sick. Families were called to the governor’s home and simply never returned.
Jim wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening and with as little guilt and thought as he could manage he snuck into the homes in the dead of night, pillaging what little food and clothing they had. The homes, however, weren’t safe. Jim had known they would be called eventually and hidden his stash away in the cave system outside the boarders of the colony.
His Mentor had gone next. Hoshi, the little old woman who traded knowledge for help with her garden, had thrust a PADD into Jim’s grubby hands and hugged him tightly before she’d been escorted by soldiers to the mansion. Rumors were going around that people were being escorted family by family off the dying planetoid by passing civilian crafts. But the rotting smell told another story.
Jim knew what rotting produce smelled like. He’d lived in a farming community before he’d pissed Frank off enough for his mom to actually take notice and send him to actual caring family; this was not the putrid smell of decaying soybeans. It was so much worse.
With renewed reason Jim had raided Hoshi’s home as soon as the militia was out of sight, taking journals and data pads, her preservatives and anything that looked remotely edible or important and hid them away. Later he’d returned for the many blankets the woman kept, but the house had been gutted. It seemed that he wasn’t the only one stealing from the abandoned homes.
More families left, Jim continued to gather what he could and hide it deep in the caves, then his was called. His aunt and uncle had been botanists, one specializing in the medicinal aspects and the other had been helping to combat the disease. They were of no more use. Jim warned them, they could run, they could hide and pretend they weren’t home or sneak out the back and run when the soldiers entered the house. Instead his aunt and uncle had ordered he and his cousin to stay put and allowed themselves to be lead away. Jim gathered all he could, his older cousin, Terry, emptied the linin closet of the blankets and pillows, and Jim showed him just where he’d been going to at night.
Weeks passed Jim and his cousin gathered more and more children who had been left by their families, pillaged houses as they saw families being escorted away and rationed out everything they could. Jim continued to pilfer electronics in addition to their necessities both so the younger kids could preoccupy themselves when the older ones were out foraging, and so Jim could use the code Hoshi had left behind in a garbled mix of alien languages and outdated binary coding.
Jim got his chance the night he was captured. They’d just lost three more children, all under the age of five to starvation. They’d buried them and Jim left. Himself included, there were only a handful of children remaining, and he would die to get them out of there. Along with him, was Kevin Riley, and his cousin. They were caught outside of the mansion and carted in to face Kodos.
Things seemed to speed up from that point. Jim couldn’t remember what exactly happened, but he knew he’d activated the program that had begun sending out emergency signals, he knew that he, his cousin, and Kevin Riley had escaped, though his cousin had been forced to tourniquet his leg and be half dragged from the compound and back to their camp. And then he was standing there, on the edge of the pit containing the bodies of the people who thought they were being lead to passenger shuttles and others who had resigned themselves to death.
Starfleet it seemed was still day’s away, maybe weeks, but in their place was a Vulcan shuttle settling down in the fields. They would be appalled by such a blatant disregard for life, especially knowing that one of their own was amongst the dead. She had been a talented scientist, assisting with the stabilization of the atmosphere and assisting Jim with his lessons in Vulcan when Hoshi had reprimanded him time and time again for his pronunciations. Jim cried there, looking over the dead, and saying his final goodbyes to spirits long since faded.
He made his way back to the fields to greet the Vulcan crew. They, as he had guessed, were obviously disgusted. Several looked particularly ill, the smell probably, but they didn’t say anything as Jim approached. He whistled loudly, safety, and heard the answering call, all is well. The crew seemed to understand. However, as children began to emerge from the cave system, malnourished, draped in sheets and blankets for warmth, the alarm was quite clear, even to those not looking for it.
The Vulcan people were silent as they guided the children onto the craft. One of them made a short call requesting a second craft and for the medical personnel to be prepared for their arrival and an emergency amputation.
Jim softly placed a hand on one of the younger children as he buckled in next to her. Her family had flown in on the same shuttle as he had. She was one of the first they had taken to the cave. She was only a six and her family had been one of the first on the kill list all because Mollie had been born deaf. Jim had picked up on it quickly once she was with them and began teaching the others how to communicate with her when they were hidden away in the daytime.
‘ I’m scared,’ She signed. ‘ What will happen to us now?’
Jim frowned a little as watery brown eyes looked up at him, begging for answers. ‘Keep living.’ he responded. ‘We do what we can to make sure nothing like this happens again for as long as we’re breathing.’
Mollie bit her lip, wiping her eyes, and nodded. ‘Okay.’
Jim touched her arm again, and smiled as best he could. ‘It’s still okay to cry, it’s a sign that you’re alive.’
A chorus of sniffles followed the signed words, older kids translated for the younger, sharing Jim’s words. A few looked up to Jim, nodding as they tried to fight off tears. Mollie touched him this time, smiling at him and snuggling into his side as best she could with the harness like buckles keeping them in their seats.
The shuttle docked only a short while after it had gathered them and slowly the older children helped the younger ones unbuckle, Jim and Kevin assembled them in a line so none would get lost and each took one of Terry’s arms to lift him from his seat. His leg was dead now but at least he wasn’t bleeding out, and he would survive.
“If you shall allow it,” An older Vulcan woman said, approaching from the front. “I will assist you in the transport of this boy.”
“You okay with that, Terry?” Jim asked. The pale boy nodded. Honestly, Jim and Kevin were far too short to be carrying him like they were, but many of those who were tall enough not to drag the boy were also weakened by the famine and could hardly lift the smaller children when necessary. Jim, who for whatever reason was able to maintain his weight despite his insubstantial fat and caloric intake, and Kevin, whom received extra portions due to his willingness to house break in the more dangerous areas, were the only two with the strength to lift the older teen.
The woman scooped Terry up with little effort, “I will pass him onto the medical officers who will begin the operation on his leg. After your own medical evaluations, should you wish it, you will be allowed to visit him.”
“Thank you.” Jim said.
“Thanks are not necessary. It is logical.” She left them in the shuttle.
“Jim.” Kevin said slowly. “Thanks, we couldn’t have survived without you.”
Jim shook his head. “If I hadn’t done something, someone else would have. There are still other people living down there without any knowledge of what’s been happening. Someone would have found out and started protesting. With so few people Kodos wouldn’t have been able to kill or have the person killed without drawing attention to himself or starting a mass panic.”
“What do you mean?” Kevin followed him from into the bay.
“I mean, if people went missing everytime they started talking about how Kodos was actually killing half of the population it would only draw more attention to what really happened. The only way he could get away with it would be to keep the populace too distracted to notice and too scared to speak.” Jim spotted their group and began dragging Kevin towards them. “Tarsus IV was an experiment. The entire ‘civilian’ population was scientist and their children. The elderly and families with children were the first to be put in the kill list. So of course it would make sense to say they have priority to be taken off Planet. No one would refute that. But it would be suspicious if young families suddenly went missing with no specific order.
“These are people whose lives are dedicated to searching for patterns. It might have taken a while, but someone would have noticed.”
“So Kodos essentially shot himself in the foot.”
“He shot himself in the head.” Jim muttered darker than intended as they drew up to the back of the group.
“…You will be bathed during your medical examinations, necessary clothing will be provided; you will then undergo a mental evaluation.” The Commander stated. “We will be arriving to the Alpha system in approximately twenty-five hours. What happens to you then I have no authority over.”
Jim sighed. Vaguely he wondered if his mother would be waiting for him when he returned or if she would be worried over him. Frank certainly wouldn’t if he was still in the picture. Hell, he’d be lucky if anyone in his family even showed up to retrieve him. He followed after the group as the ships commander handed them off to a medical officer. Jim assumed the second shuttle that had gone to the surface was staying until the Fleet made an appearance. Though, now that the settlement was actually sending out wave after wave of emergency signals it wouldn’t be long.
The small group followed the Vulcan through the corridors of the ship. Mollie had migrated back through the line towards Jim and clutched his hand. He could sense the nervousness pouring off of her and he wondered if they’d allow him to be present during her evaluations, or if they had someone that would be able to communicate with her properly. They were Vulcan and were typically the kind of beings that were prepared for any situation, but he couldn’t assume that they would know Human sign language based on that alone.
The sterile smell that Jim recognized as ‘hospital’ drifted towards his nose. It was a comforting scent for once. The Vulcan leading them stepped aside, motioning for them to enter the room and followed closely.
Examinations didn’t take long. They were underweight and malnourished, but the Doctor had informed them that there were no lasting physical effects to most of them. Terry, it seemed, was the only exception. He was sedated and in a bed separate from the others, but the doctors had informed Jim that he would be waking within the day. He was alive and that’s what was important.
“You’re examination is the last.” The doctor in charge of them said in his toneless way.
Jim shrugged. He knew he was the healthiest of them, somehow and didn’t expect there would be anything wrong with him. But as the Vulcan ran the tricorder across him, then had him sit on the bed for a more intensive scan it became clear he was incorrect. An odd tone came from the machine reading his vitals and genetic coding.
The Doctor grunted in a very unVulcan manner. “Fascinating.” He stated. “I have not witnessed this occurrence in the human species. What is your heritage?”
“Human as far as I know.” Jim answered. It wasn’t an untrue statement, but it was inaccurate. His mother and father had been different, he knew. They had always run towards danger rather than away, or at least that’s what his brother had said. He also knew that, genetically, he was different from larger humanity and that his step-dad, Frank, didn’t share his families odd genetic predispositions or affinity for death. Sam had tried to explain to him all that he could, but it was always watered down.
The Doctor nodded his head, accepting the answer. “You have maintained a healthy weight despite the conditions. It is my belief that you may have non-human ancestry that has perhaps shown itself in light of the traumatic events. If you would allow it I can inform you of the species with a DNA sample.”
Jim shrugged. “Okay, I guess, but I don’t think you’ll find anything.”
“You seem certain.” The Vulcan commented, attaching a small device to Jim’s arm. “Is there a reason for this?”
“No,” Jim answered. “I just thought my mom or brother would have told me something like that.” He frowned as the machine made another strange sound. He wasn’t sure if it was because something strange had showed up, or if it was saying the sample was complete; but since the man wasn’t removing the device Jim felt himself becoming anxious. “If…” his eyebrows scrunched together, “If it does come up weird, maybe don’t tell anyone?”
The Vulcan made a strange grunt again as he observed some screen behind Jim’s head. “You have an uncommon genetic formation. It seems that it has caused a decrease in your cellular breakdown as well as energy consumption.”
Shifting uncomfortably, Jim tried to turn his head to see the screen. He saw it, he could see the genetic breakdown, the formulas and the structure; but he couldn’t understand what it meant. The doctor was seeing something unusual that Jim couldn’t see. It was unnerving, and somewhat terrifying. The Vulcan’s brow was drawn together as he continued to scan the readout. Jim watched his face intently, attempting to gauge what the doctor was thinking.
Finally the device was removed. “As you are my patient at this time, what has occurred will not be spoken of to any other. However, if you amiable I would like to continue to study your genetic structure.” He eyed the small human with interest. “If your guardian also agrees.”
Jim flopped back on to the stiff mattress. “I’m not sure if I will have a guardian.” He said. “Mom sent me to Tarsus to live with my aunt and uncle because her husband was an abusive jerk…She’s probably still off in space somewhere anyhow.”
“I see.” The doctor said. “It would be logical to assume that she would return given the report we have sent to Starfleet.”
“Mom isn’t logical.” Jim answered easily; not bitter or angry, just accepting of the hand he’d been dealt. “She spent every minute after I started primary school away, didn’t even come home when I drove my dad’s car into a ravine when I was nine. Didn’t come home when my brother ran away, didn’t come home to see me off to Tarsus, I don’t see why she would come home now, just because I’m returning.
“I’m not beat up over it,” Jim said.
“Your mother is inattentive.” It wasn’t a question.
“She is my mother though.”
Upon arrival at the space station the parents and guardians of the child survivors of Tarsus IV met them with opened arms and teary smiles. The children, clad in oversized uniform shirts that that been donated by the ever logical Vulcan crew, cried as it finally began to sink in that they were safe. They were no longer being hunted like animals or putting themselves in danger for the wellbeing of others. They wouldn’t have to fight to survive but instead remember how to live.
Jim said his goodbye’s to Molly, to Kevin, and even to his Cousin who had been picked up by a medical crew who would be delivering him to his grandparents. It seemed that he was the only one left. Frank wasn’t there, thank god, but neither was his mother, brother, or the distant family that he knew existed but had never had the chance to meet. He supposed he could still return to Earth, stay in a foster home for a while and search for his brother or something while he completed school , or…
He touched his cheeks, baffled by the warm moister on his fingertips. Maybe he was more upset by the absence of his family than he’d realized he would be. Maybe…maybe he’d been more affected by the events of Tarsus than he’d realized. It would be nice to have an adult murmur comforts to him, to tell him that he would be okay and that they would do all they could to help him. It would have been nice to be on the receiving end of a warm hug rather than to be the one shelling them out, even if he did love giving them and soothing the others.
Clenching his jaw, Jim lifted his head with closed eyes and wiped away the escaping tears. Now was not the time to cry, if he still needed to later he could but only after he’d figured out what he was going to do. He’d been without a caring adult for months; he didn’t necessarily need one now just because he wasn’t in immediate danger.
Jim sniffled, still fighting back tears as he kept his chin up; He might not have needed an adult or a comforting hand…But it would be nice.
“James Kirk?” The monotone voice caught his attention instantly. The Vulcan doctor, Sulen, stood a short distance away. His greying hair was neat as always and face particularly blank; all except for the small crease between his upturned brows. “You remain?”
Wiping his eyes again, Jim spun around, smiling like he did when he comforted the children on the ship. “Yeah,” He drew out with forced enthusiasm and closed eyes in an attempt not to let the Vulcan see their glassy appearance. “Looks like I was right when I said Mom was still out in space somewhere.”
Sulen remained silent for a time, observing the boy with a critical eye, before reaching out a callused hand and placing it heavily on the child’s shoulder. “I grieve with thee.”
Jim laughed, pushing the hand away. “What’s there to grieve? I’m used to being on my own.” He opened his eyes, but wouldn’t meet the Vulcan’s gaze. “I didn’t expect anyone, so…” Jim’s jaw tightened. “…No one ever really…Thank you for your help.”
“Thanks are not necessary.” Sulen said. He reached out again, placing his hand on Jim’s back and pulling him forwards into an awkward hug. “My research has provided me with the knowledge that human youth need frequent physical contact.”
“But I thought Vulcan-kind didn’t like being touched.” Jim said stiffly, trying to worm his way out of the tight hold.
“Physical contact amongst Vuhlkansu is considered personal. It is simply not done, however you are not Vulcan and it is logical to comfort you in a manner in which you are familiar.” Sulen glanced downwards at the boy who was projecting fear and discomfort. Had it not been for the overwhelming sadness he would have long since let go. The boy was not afraid of the touch, but rather afraid of the acknowledgement. He was afraid of being notice.
Jim snorted at the explanation, it was ridiculous, but he stopped struggling. It was nice, and the doctor was right; humans were social and liked to live in communities. Touch was part of their communication, it was below the surface, below the conscious level, but it was important. Children who had been denied touch had had suffered emotional and psychological troubles. Jim knew that much. He’d been to a therapist when he was on Tarsus IV. He’d been getting better; he trusted his aunt and uncle to look out for him and did his best to be good. Faced with the fact that they had died to protect him and Terry though, and faced with the fact that his own mother couldn’t even send an inquiry on whether or not he was okay…He felt himself regressing as if the trust for authority figures had drained out of him as he’d watched spirits depart into the void.
The arms tightened around him and Jim, unable to continue standing passively, wrapped his arms around the Vulcan’s torso, clinging to his uniform. Why didn’t anyone want him? They kept him around, but no one cared what he got up to as long as he wasn’t causing them trouble; and when he did cause trouble they pawned him off on whatever person came next. He’d been happy with his aunt and uncle. They were normal scientists. Not like him with his weirdness; but they had loved him anyhow, and he’d only brought death to them in the same way he’d damned his own father.
Sulen inhaled sharply. The emotion’s the boy was projecting were strong and volatile, much more so than before when he’d been resisting them. Even through the fabric of his uniform, and the uniform Jim had been provided, he could feel the turbulence.
“If you are amenable,” he said. “It would not be difficult to arrange temporary custody until you mother is able to be contacted and a permanent solution can be arranged.”
“Moving from place to place isn’t fun.” Jim muttered. “I’d rather just be alone.”
The Vulcan raised a hand and tentatively placed it on the back of Jim’s head. “You are mistaken.” Sulen said. “I imply that you would come to my planet. My commission is ending, and my bondmate has expressed interest in caring for another child. However we are both passed the age in which it would be…Nonlife threatening to produce a child of our own biology.”
“You never had kids?”
“We have three. All have reached maturity and bonded.”
“I’m an emotional human.” Jim said, trying his hardest to keep the hope out of his voice as well as the sadness. He knew, of course, that the doctor had already known what he was feeling. The hand awkwardly patting his hair was likely picking up concentrated amounts of emotion, being so close to his meld points. “I have different biology. I don’t know how the atmosphere would affect me.”
“And yet I, a medical doctor, do.” Sulen released his hold on the young man. “If you wish it, I will not persist. However, I should inform you that Vuhlkansu are equally emotional to Terrans, if not more so. Our young will deny such a fact, as they will deny being illogical at times; but to be alive is to be illogical and to be tempered with emotion. We merely value logic, and wish to implement it, that doesn’t not necessitate that we successfully do so at all times.
“Regarding your reaction to the atmosphere…” he waited for Jim to meet his eyes. “It is not impossible for a human to live among us, as several already do. However it may take time for your body to adjust and thus you would need to be provided supplements until you may breathe without issue.”
Jim watched the man for a moment. This doctor, who had cared for him and the others, was willing to take care of him. But, he’d also made the request to study Jim’s biology further, so it wasn’t impossible to believe that he was taking advantage of his mother’s abandonment. It was a nice offer, even if he were just going to be an experiment.
“You appear hesitant. Speak your mind.”
Jim frowned further. “You expressed interest in my genetic structure on the ship. It’s a nice offer, even if it’s just for me to be a research project; but I…I want…” The tears that he had been able to fight back in the Vulcan’s arms spilled out. He didn’t want to be selfish either.
“Sulen.” A new voice joined them. “Have you caused this?”
“T’Mal.” The doctor said smoothly, almost affectionately. “I believe that I have, though it was not my intention.”
Looking away, Jim did his best to dry his face once more but couldn’t stop his lip from quivering. He recognized the woman of course, she’d been the one to take Terry and deliver him to the surgeons who’d removed his leg. He’d later learned that she was in charge of overseeing biological sciences, specifically botany. “S’rry.” He said quietly. “It’s not his fault.”
“What is the cause?” T’Mal asked.
“I’m just…Selfish.” Jim said. “Dr. Sulen offered to help me, but…I’m just…I want a family, I don’t want to be a research subject, or a burden. Once I’ve outlived my use I’ll just be sent back to Earth right? So wouldn’t it be better for me just to be alone from the start?”
“Sa-telsu,” T’Mal said. “Husband, explain his meaning.”
“Due to patient confidentiality I cannot elucidate in detail. I can however express that I found his genetic structure…intriguing and communicated interest in studying it further. In retrospect I should have elaborated that I would not do so without his permission.” Sulen stepped closer to Jim again. “I apologize, James. It is not my intention to use you as a means to an end, but rather to care for you, should you allow it, as I would my own progeny.”
Silence echoed loudly between the three in the bustle of the space station near Earth. Jim was silently weighing his options, the pros and cons, and trying to decide if he could handle potentially losing another family, or being taken from them should his mother come swooping in to steal him back.
“Perhaps smaller words.” T’Mal suggested, observing the blank look on the human child’s face.
Jim seemed to snap out of it. “No, I understand. What happens when, if she finally responds, my mom tries to come for me? Or if she gives up parental rights?”
T’Mal reached out her hand, darker than Sulen’s, and placed it on his shoulder. “We would not give you up so easily.”
“Okay,” He said. “Alright…” They would learn eventually that raising a human, raising him, would be too much; but until that time came he would enjoy the thought that someone wanted him.