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A day’s break.
That was all Kaiser promised Ness almost a week ago when he was confident he could handle twin infants and a seven-year-old. Less than halfway into the allotted time, he realized he couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Angel,” he softened his voice, not sure if it was for the child’s sake or to save his own vocal cords. “Once I finish with this, we’ll have our snack.”
Crossing her arms, she stared at him like a mirror, blue unyielding in their demand. She stomped her foot again, and Kaiser silently thanked the universe that he was holding a baby in each arm. Otherwise, he would have snatched her ankles and glued them to the ground.
He had to be firm, changing his tone back to its usual sharpness. “Heidi.” The slight flinch she did stung, but he couldn’t be bothered with his hands, both literally and mentally full. “Snack time is soon. That’s the last time I’m going to say it.”
Before she could talk back, Kaiser rose to his feet, finally paying attention to the wails he’d been tuning out for nearly an hour. He walked the twins over to their shared crib and lowered one in. He’d started dressing them in different colors to help differentiate them, but they had soiled two sets of onesies, and they were wearing matching ones they’d technically outgrown a month ago.
The twin in his arms was Midas, their youngest by a whopping ten minutes. He was a small newborn, the weaker of the two at the time. Kaiser set him on the changing station, wondering how he’d taken those days for granted.
Not only did Midas grow to be bigger than his brother, but he also packed a stronger punch; the collision of his fist with Kaiser’s temple still fresh in his mind. A larger baby also meant larger bowel movements as Kaiser was getting to know.
Luckily, the mess was contained within his diaper this time, and he could save the onesie from yet another wash. He went through the typical routine, setting up the wipes, a new diaper, and powder on the stand. Changing diapers after three kids was mindless; the shock of how loose their shit was well past him.
Pressing his foot down on the diaper pail, he unfastened the tabs and gathered the dirty diaper after a quick wipe. With his fingers in his mouth, Midas immediately quieted down at the freedom. He giggled as Kaiser pulled a couple of wipes from the tub.
Unlike Heidi, they mainly took after Ness, and he could recognize that look of excitement in a fraction of a second. He went to coo when a sudden warmth hit his chest, then his chin, and he jolted.
Without his body blocking the spray, it wet the neatly folded onesie until it was saturated in urine. Kaiser watched for what seemed like minutes, sure he had an Olympic pisser on his hands by the time the stream died down. He took a cautious step forward, peering over at the smiling infant lying in a puddle of his own excretion. “Bath time it is,” he hissed, and Midas squealed happily.
He gave his son a quick, bitter wipe down before transferring him over to the baby tub lodged in their own tub. The desire to jump in and bathe with him scratched at Kaiser, but he knew the moment he got them to bed, he’d need the shower alone for a breakdown. It struck him to bathe the boys at the same time, and he returned to the nursery where Alaric, the older twin, had fallen asleep.
After a check for any foul odors, he confirmed that Alaric didn’t intend to make his horrible day any worse and pressed a kiss of gratitude to his head. On his way back to the bathroom, he stopped in the kitchen to grab a bottle of milk when he felt a sense of danger. He’d honed his instincts from a young age and could tell the feeling from anywhere. Slowly, he turned his head in that direction, and his eyes landed on the dining room table.
Sitting with a fork in her hand was Heidi. When Kaiser looked at her, she didn’t dare look away, challenging him with a glare. Her attention cut between his face and the hand he had on the fridge.
“Papa.” She mimicked his earlier voice in a smooth, yet firm tone. “It’s time for my afterschool snack.”
Kaiser followed her gaze, staring down at the refrigerator door. To his knowledge, Ness would have had her fed and doing homework nearly an hour ago. He considered himself lucky for still being in one piece after interrupting her precious routine, something she’d undoubtedly picked up from his side of the gene pool.
“Okay Heids.” Kaiser finally conceded, and he could hear the sigh of relief from the room over the sound of the refrigerator door opening. He worked as quickly as possible, spotting a container of fruit, a bag of gummies, and a few slices of cheese. It wasn’t complete, and it wouldn’t be pretty like whatever Ness managed to accomplish, but it was something.
She hopped down from her chair, impatiently stalking over him as he arranged the fruit into a frowning face, indicative of how he was feeling at the moment. Watching his hands, she leaned over and made an expression that matched. She sounded utterly defeated when she asked, “I get a sad snack?”
Kaiser thought to tune her out. What did it matter if her food was in the shape of a frown, a cat, a skull? She would eat it all the same. He decided to answer with something when their gazes met. Though she’d gotten his color, her eyes tugged at his heart like Ness’s, big and wet with unshed tears.
“No,” he sighed, quickly rearranging the plate to the simplest thing he could think of, a target with the sole purple grape as the bullseye. A smile stretched across her features seeing the new display, and she took it off the counter with a much better attitude, even giggling down at it. “It looks like a boobie, Papa!”
Kaiser tilted his head, watching her walk back to the table where she’d left her fork. He had a plethora of questions, but none were more pressing than the infant he’d left in the bathtub. He couldn’t even bring himself to sigh anymore. “Don’t say that in front of Papi, okay?”
She didn’t respond, engrossed in making a game of picking the gummies out by color, and Kaiser couldn’t afford to wait. If it came up, he would truthfully tell Ness he didn’t teach her any such words and that she must’ve picked it up from school.
Finally free to return to the bathroom with some of the older milk Ness pumped, he knelt and started to run the water before pouring it in. Midas’s happiness had grown into frustration the longer he remained alone and strapped to his bathtub. Once the clasps were released, he was smiling again, following the bottle as Kaiser set it aside.
Milk baths were the best thing to make them sleep when Ness wasn’t around to hum. No rocker or story compared to the comfort of knowing their father was with them at all times, no matter how far he was. As Kaiser washed Midas, he started to tire, already nodding off when he was swaddled in a small towel.
“At least let me dress you,” he murmured, huddling him to his chest when he noticed he’d forgotten to bring a change of baby clothing with him. He walked to the laundry room with every intention of ignoring the clothes piling high in various baskets.
Popping open the dryer, he found it was empty. After several accidents, he’d gone through all of the sleepwear in their drawers, and with nothing else clean, he had to put Midas in one of his outwear outfits. The dragons on his shirt gave him some comfort, but the denim was Kaiser’s primary concern. He added extra powder to prevent chafing before sliding the dazed infant into the stretchy jeans.
When he crossed the kitchen to put Midas down, he peeked into the living room where Heidi sat at the coffee table counting on her fingers for her homework, reminding him why they called her ‘angel.’ As long as she had food in her stomach, she was heaven on earth compared to the hectic wrench the twins threw into their lives.
Kaiser didn’t linger and slipped Midas into the crib across from his brother. After giving him an undeserved kiss on the head, he went to take care of himself for the first time since brushing his teeth that morning. He stripped fully after walking into his bedroom, nearly throwing the baby tub out of the bathroom.
With how unpredictable the day had been, he didn’t dare take a full bath, settling for a scalding hot shower. The soap only washed away the scum, scars still left on his psyche. They said it takes a village to raise a child, but all Kaiser needed was one Alexis Ness, and his life was made a thousand times easier.
He almost didn’t get out of the shower, comforted by the burn on his skin. If he weren’t starving, he could stay in there all evening, or at least until he was needed again. The ache in his stomach was a reminder that with everything going on, he hadn’t consumed a single thing besides a stolen square of cheese intended for Heidi’s plate.
Leaving the steaming bathroom felt like departing heaven to join a resting battlefield, but he did so nonetheless. With a towel draped over his head, his wet hair dripped on the floor as he scoured their dressers for a set of pajama or sweatpants to throw on. The towel wrapped around his waist started to slip when he remembered the state he’d left the laundry room in.
“Shit.”
As a last resort, he moved onto Ness’s side and found a single pair of tights. They were stretchy around the waistband, hardly staying up on his straight hips. He bunched the extra fabric into a knot before immediately heading to run a load.
The sheer amount of dirty clothing was overwhelming. He started with a random pile, satisfied once he spotted a pair of his jeans. Throwing them in with some powder, he stood up straight with a huff when he heard the call of death.
“Papa!” Heidi yelled from the living room. The rejuvenation from his shower was expended searching for just one fucking pair of pants, and he groaned quietly.
“Coming Angel!”
He left the laundry room with a list of things that could have gone wrong running through his mind. In the best-case scenario, she got stuck on her homework and needed assistance. Worst-case scenario, Kaiser should run and get the boys before they’re all burned to a crisp.
Holding his breath, he walked down the hallway until he spotted the back of Heidi’s two-toned hair. She was standing at the door, the sound of it closing catching Kaiser’s attention.
“Heidi!” He rushed over before the name entirely left his lips. Seven was young, but not young enough to open the door when instructed not to do so. Kaiser began to wonder if today was cosmic punishment for all he’d done to Ness in their youth. He’d be sure to apologize again the next time he saw him.
“Papa!” Heidi turned to him with a giggle, her face squished against a leg. Kaiser shook his head, trailing up the body and nearly collapsing.
“Alexis?!”
He blinked twice to make sure that the man standing in front of him was really Ness. It didn’t take much for him to be convinced, that smile was only fit for one face. Ness placed a hand on Heidi’s back, rubbing the child before lifting her onto his hip.
“Hey Michael,” Ness took a complete step into the house, locking the door behind him. He hardly got past the entryway when he was pulled into a hug, smothered against Kaiser’s chest. It was his turn to be confused, letting out a small chuckle when the grip started to hurt. “I came home a little early. I hope you don’t mind.”
Kaiser sighed and stepped back. Heidi was staring at him, leaning her head against Ness’s chest, where he should have been. “I don’t mind at all. I’m glad to see you.”
The sentence was short, but there weren't enough words to express what he actually meant. They shared a brief kiss before Ness trailed his eyes down, tilting his head. Kaiser caught his gaze and was overcome with the urge to pull him into another hug.
“Long story,” he muttered. “It’s.. been a long day.”
He figured he didn’t have the right to complain to Ness of all people, and kept his troubles brief. Ness could tell by the look on his face that the full responsibility hadn’t treated him kindly and nodded with a giggle identical to Heidi’s. “Right. Thank you for taking care of everything. I assume everyone’s still alive.”
Kaiser shook his head vigorously. That was the only thing he could promise, and he took a fair amount of pride in it. He took Ness’s free hand, still mulling over how to formulate an apology. Ness squeezed it as they walked down the hall.
Only once they passed the nursery where the twins slept did Kaiser let out a breath. Ness nudged his shoulder and laughed. “Calm down. You did well.” He glanced at Heidi sleeping on him and turned back to Kaiser. “You can tell me why you’re wearing my maternity leggings later.”
Kaiser huffed, not even surprised by Ness’s words from the ill fit of the pants. He squeezed his hand back. “Let’s just get a nanny next time. Or two…two nannies.”