Chapter Text
Oscar’s low, soft voice carried directly through the wall. Charles sighed, he can’t blame Oscar. The walls are just really insanely thin. He walked to the kitchen, where Max was already making both of them coffee. Charles smiled softly, leaning his head against Max’s shoulder. Every day he’s thankful his boyfriend is here and not on the other side of the world.
It doesn’t take long for Lando’s laugh to sound loudly through Oscar’s room, ringing all the way to the living room and kitchen.
Oscar smiled, that one smile meant for Lando only. “You should go sleep, Lan. Don’t want you to be tired because of me.”
“I’m not even tired, and I can sacrifice some of my sleep to talk. I’m not the one with the exams this week.” Lando said as he walked to his living room again.
“Oh, don’t remind me, I’m well aware.” Oscar groaned, sitting at his desk. He dragged a hand over his face. “At least get into bed? Or sit on the couch. Just rest for a second, you’re pacing.”
Lando froze. He was hoping that Oscar didn’t notice he was walking in circles through the apartment. He stopped mid-step, the image on his phone wobbling slightly before he tightened his grip. The silence stretched between them, just long enough for Oscar’s eyebrows to knit together in the way they always did when he noticed things Lando tried to hide.
“Lando?” Oscar’s voice came through again. Careful and curious, like he already knew the answer and didn’t want Lando to turn away. “You okay, baby?”
Lando glanced at the screen, then away again. He swallowed and dragged a hand through his hair. His curls sticking out in all sorts of directions. He nodded automatically, even though Oscar could see how his shoulders stayed tense. He kept his eyes from Oscar’s caring ones. “Yeah. I am just– yeah.”
Oscar didn’t look even slightly convinced. He shifted in his chair, leaning closer to the screen. His hair caught the light from the sun shining through the window, a warm and unfair contrast for how late it was on Lando’s side of the world. “You were pacing. You only do that when something’s on your mind,” he tried again. Not accusatory, but knowing.
Lando looked around the living room. Alex was sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the TV while George leaned against him, muttering about his day. Even with them there, the apartment felt heavier without Oscar.
Lando’s chest ached as he walked to his bedroom. The phone wobbled again, showing Oscar a glimpse of the ceiling as he finally settled on his bed. He hadn’t noticed how restless he had been until he sat down. “It feels weird.” Lando admitted softly. “When I sit down, it gets really quiet.”
Oscar’s expression softened, chin resting on one hand. “Quiet how?”
“Like…” Lando shifted, propping himself up against the pillows, phone balanced between his hand and chest. “Like everything I do feels incomplete. I used to like quiet. When I was next to you and you were studying or reading a book. But now when I lie here, it just feels empty.” He swallowed hard. “Sorry, I’m acting as if we haven't been doing this for two years.”
Oscar tilted his head, fingers brushing against the side of his phone like maybe if he tried hard enough he could stroke Lando’s cheek. “I wish I could be there,” he said softly. “I hate that it feels like this.”
“Yeah,” Lando murmured, staring at him on the screen. “Me too.”
For a moment, they just stayed like that, connected by a rectangle of light and the soft, steady hum of their shared voices across thousands of miles. Outside of Lando’s window the city was quiet, the moon shining bright. Lando let himself sink further into the bed, hugging his phone closer.
“I keep thinking about when we’ll see each other again.” Lando's voice was low, almost as if he was only talking to himself. “And it’s hard to enjoy anything. I laugh, I hang out with George and Alex, I do all the normal stuff I’m supposed to. But it still doesn’t feel the way it should. It doesn’t feel fun. Not like it used to.”
Oscar leaned even closer to the screen. “I know, baby,” he whispered. “And it’s okay to feel like that.”
Lando interrupted gently. “It’s not like this all the time. I have loads of good moments, today just wasn't a good day. Sorry.” He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a slow breath.
Oscar’s voice softened, the words steady and warm. “I’m here, Lan. I’m not going anywhere. No need to apologise.”
Oscar’s words lingered in the air long after he finished speaking. The reassurance wasn’t loud or dramatic. It didn’t need to be. It was warm and steady, something Lando could lean into without worrying it would disappear.
Lando opened his eyes again, his gaze finding Oscar’s face on the screen. The lightning in Oscar’s room was slowly becoming brighter. It made the distance feel even weirder, proof that their worlds were moving at different times, even as they were together in this moment.
“I know,” Lando said quietly after a moment. His voice sounded smaller. “I just hate when days like this get to me.”
Oscar nodded, slow and understanding. He didn’t interrupt, never rushing Lando through his thoughts, even when they became a tangled mess and looped back on themselves.
Lando adjusted the phone slightly. He shifted under the covers, pulling them higher until they covered his shoulders. His bed was familiar and warm, but it still felt wrong.
“I’ll be fine tomorrow. Or that’s technically today for you.” Lando continued, his joke falling flat, almost convincing himself as much as Oscar. “I always am. I’m going to wake up, drink coffee, hang with George and Alex, make my assignments, and do whatever I’m supposed to do.” He let out a humourless laugh. “I’m good at pretending that things don’t bother me.”
Oscar’s lips curved into a small but noticeable smile. “You don’t have to pretend. Not with me, Lando.”
That made something in Lando’s chest tighten. “I know,” he repeated, softer. “That’s kind of the problem,” he chuckled.
Silence settled again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was the kind that was filled with shared understanding rather than uncertainty. He could hear Oscar breathing, the faint sounds of Max and Charles bickering about nonsense in the background. Together it sounded all too comforting.
Lando turned his head slightly, staring at the stream of moonlight slipping through the gap of his curtains shining on his wall. “Do you ever think about how weird it is,” he asked quietly, “that I can see you, hear you breathe, but I can't touch you?”
Oscar exhaled slowly. “All the time.”
His answer came too quickly for it to be casual.
Lando swallowed. He shifted again, hugging the phone closer, gripping it tighter, like it could somehow bridge the gap between them. “I keep thinking I’ll get used to it,” he admitted. “The distance. The time zones. Falling asleep like this instead of next to you.” His fingers curled around the edge of his phone. “And I have, in some sort of way. But that doesn’t mean it hurts less.”
Oscar’s gaze softened even more, if that was possible. “It’s not supposed to stop hurting,” he said gently. “It just means that what we have, what we build, matters.”
Lando got quiet, letting Oscar’s words sink in. He always liked the way his boyfriend framed things. Showing him that most things are not problems to solve but truths to accept.
“George and Alex make it look easy, just like Max and Charles.” Lando said suddenly, a little shy. “Being in the same space. Hanging around, doing nothing together.” He smiled slightly. “I know they have their own stuff, but sometimes I can’t help but think how nice it must be.” His friends were all in loving relationships, they get to breathe in their person all the time.
Oscar didn’t frown or pull away from the camera. He just nodded. “Yeah. I think about that too.”
Another silence stretched.
“But,” Oscar added, quieter this time, “I wouldn't want to trade what we have for something easier.”
That did it for Lando. His throat tightened, difficult emotions rising to the surface. “I wouldn’t either,” he said, voice rough around the edges. “Even when it sucks.”
Oscar smiled at that. Real, small, and a little fond. “Especially when it sucks.”
Lando shifted onto his side, propping his phone against his other pillow. He memorised the way Oscar looked like this. Gentle, comfortable, entirely his. These were the type of moments that carry him through tough days.
The quiet stretched on, but it didn’t feel empty. Lando glanced at the time in the corner of his phone screen. 11:58 PM. Almost midnight.
“Hey,” he murmured after a while.
Oscar hummed softly in response, his eyes lifting from wherever they had drifted to. “Yeah?”
“It just turned twelve here,” Lando said. “You’re what, just before lunch?”
“Eleven on the dot.” Oscar smiled faintly.
Lando huffed out another humourless laugh. “Figures.”
Oscar watched him carefully, leaning back in his chair. “What?”
“Just…” Lando shrugged, then stopped himself because Oscar couldn’t see it properly. He shifted instead, pulling the covers tighter around himself. He almost convinced himself it felt like one of Oscar’s hugs. “It’s weird knowing you’re about to go make food, go sit in the sun or whatever, and I’m trying to convince my brain it’s okay to sleep without you being next to me.”
Oscar’s expression changed in that familiar way, like every sharp edge in him softened just for Lando. “I’d walk to you right now if I could, Lan.”
“I know,” Lando said quickly. He never wanted Oscar to think that this wasn’t enough for him. “I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that sometimes it feels like happiness is operating in your time zone and not mine.”
Oscar blinked, taken aback just enough for Lando to notice.
“Okay, that was dramatic.” Lando added, attempting to cover his slight panic with a smile.
But Oscar didn’t laugh. He leaned back closer to the screen instead, elbows rested on his desk, head tilted just ever so slightly. “No,” he said softly. “I get it.”
Lando nodded, blinking slowly. His eyes felt tired now in the real way, not the restless one from earlier. The camera angle tilted slightly as he shifted on his mattress, giving Oscar a lopsided view of Lando’s face, curls being flattened by his pillow.
“That’s better.” He muttered, more to himself.
Oscar smiled. “Comfy?”
“Not really,” Lando sighed. “But closer.”
Oscar rested his chin on his hand again. “I’ll take closer.”
Lando watched the minutes tick by silently. 12:14 AM. “At least we’re on the same day again.”
Oscar’s lips twitched. “Lucky us. If you wake between 7:30 and 8:30, we can eat together on call.” He offered, voice low as he saw Lando’s blinking slowing down even more.
Lando’s lips curved faintly at Oscar’s words. “You make it sound like a date,” he whispers, voice already thick with sleep.
Oscar laughed quietly. “It is,” he said simply. “Breakfast and dinner combo date. Very exclusive.”
Lando let out a soft laugh, barely anything more than air. “You and your standards.” He let his eyes close.
“They’re high,” Oscar agreed. “But you meet them.”
Those words earned a deeper exhale from Lando, something warm settling deep in his chest. He shifted once again, tugging the cover higher until only his eyes and hair were visible on the screen. His lashes fluttered as he forced himself to open his eyes, just to look at Oscar properly one more time.
“You’re gonna waste your day if you stay on call with me,” Lando said, words slow. “You’ve got studying. Sunlight. Life.”
Oscar shook his head. “I’ll survive.” A pause. “You’re worth way more than that.”
Lando let his cover drop from his face, showing Oscar the smile on his face. “You say that now.”
“I say it every time,” Oscar replied immediately.
The minutes slipped by unnoticed. 12:21 AM. 12:25 AM. Lando’s responses became slower, his words shorter. He trailed off halfway through his thoughts. Oscar didn’t rush him, didn’t fill in the silences. He knew this part by heart, the tipping point where Lando needed his presence more than conversation.
Lando’s phone wobbled again as he plugged in the charger. He turned the phone on its side. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “My eyes keep closing.”
Oscar chuckled. “You can close them, baby.”
“Don’t wanna hang up,” Lando protested weakly.
“We don’t have to,” Oscar’s reply was instant. “Just sleep.”
Lando considered that for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Okay.” He settled properly this time, checking his phone one more time before closing his eyes.
“Lan?” Oscar said gently.
“Mhm?”
“I love you.”
Lando smiled without opening his eyes. “I love you too.”
Oscar stayed on the call until he was sure Lando was fully asleep. Eventually, he whispered, barely loud enough, “Sleep well, baby.”
Oscar waited a few more moments, listening to his boyfriend’s even breaths. His thumb hovered over his phone before hanging up. He stared at his own reflection as he finally locked his phone. He set it down, face down on the desk. The quiet hit immediately, heavier than he expected.
He stood and stretched, letting the stiffness in his shoulders ease ever so slightly. Sunlight streamed through the window, making everything feel a little too bright for the weight in his chest. He ran a hand through his hair and stepped out of his bedroom.
Charles glanced up at the sound of Oscar's bedroom door opening and closing. He sat at the kitchen table sorting his assignments by date. “Hey, you okay?”
Oscar gave a small nod, almost too fast. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
Charles leaned back in his chair, not pressing for anything, just watching him with a steady gaze. “You sound tired.” Charles said gently.
Oscar shook his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Not tired. I’m just thinking.”
Max, leaning casually against the counter with a new mug with steaming coffee, tilted his head. “Thinking about him?”
Oscar’s lips pressed together briefly. “Yeah. Lando. I just… I don’t know. I want to make sure he’s okay, even when he’s sleeping.”
Charles exchanged a glance with Max, both knowing exactly what Oscar meant. They’d seen this before. Oscar worrying after Lando had a rough day, picking apart and replaying everything he’d said.
Charles’ expression softened. “It’s hard, but you two got each other. You always do.”
Oscar exhaled slowly, letting some more of the tension drain from his shoulders. He picked at the hem of his shirt for a moment, feeling the soft cotton between his fingers. The shirt was a present he got years ago from his boyfriend. “I know. I just want to be more than a face on a screen for him.”
Max placed his empty mug in the sink. “And you are, Oscar. Don’t underestimate that.”
Oscar checked the time on his phone for what felt like the millionth time. Only 20 minutes passed since he ended the call. He moved further into the connected living room, sitting down on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees.
“He tried to stay awake,” Oscar added, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Didn’t work.”
Charles smiled a little and started to clean up the academic mess he made. “Never does, does it?”
Oscar leaned back against the couch, letting his head rest there, eyes drifting up towards the ceiling. A small smile played on his lips as he thought about Lando’s sleepy words. There was no judgement in the room, no teasing. Just quiet understanding.
Charles gathered the last of his papers and slid them into a folder. “He sounded okay tonight. Laughing a lot,” he said carefully. “From what could be heard through the walls.”
Oscar nodded. “He was, mostly. It was just a tough day for him.” His phone sat heavy in his pocket, screen dark but still warm. He resisted the urge to pull it out again, to check the time, to check messages that wouldn’t be there.
Instead, he closed his eyes.
For just a moment, he let himself imagine London. Lando covered in blankets, surrounded by way too many pillows, phone still facing him, face finally relaxed in sleep. The thought calmed some of the worries that settled deep into his chest.
The calm didn’t erase everything, but it softened the edges. Oscar let it linger, breathing slowly, counting the seconds the way he sometimes did when his thoughts refused to slow down.
Oscar sat up on the couch and glanced towards Max and Charles. “Oh, and I won’t be joining you two for dinner tonight,” he said. “I’m eating in my room. On call with Lando.” His grin widened.
Charles smiled knowingly. “You two really know how to make it work, huh?”
“We try.” Oscar chuckled softly. “He’s worth it.”
“So, it’s like a date?” Max asked even though he knew the answer already, he likes watching Oscar be happy because of Lando.
Oscar felt his mood change, nodding happily. “Yeah, I’m eating dinner, he’s eating breakfast.” He smiled. “Makes everything feel a little more real.”
“This thing is so fucking heavy.” Charles picked up his folder. “You know what’s not fair? The three of us will be drowning in exams this week, and you’ll still score higher than us despite having a weird schedule to talk to Lando.” He groaned.
When Charles turned away, Max looked at Oscar and jokingly rolled his eyes. “You just procrastinated too much, babe.” Max said when Charles dropped onto the couch. Charles gave him a pointed look. “But, hey, you still manage to get good grades and look hot while doing so,” he added quickly.