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On the Dangers of Figurative Speech

Summary:

Minnie Perkins is having a bad day. She’s "under the weather" (literally), crying "rivers of sorrow" (with actual trout), and the more she speaks, the more reality breaks.

On Discworld, Granny Weatherwax tries to anchor the girl to common sense. In the 500 Kingdoms, Godmother Elena is forcibly summoned by a Tradition desperate to script the chaos. From Xanth, a trickster nudges the puns toward a total reality collapse. The resulting fracture acts as a beacon for the 40k Warp, threatening a catastrophic collision of grim-dark proportions.

Enter Sue, a Primaris-Superior Empress-in-Waiting, riding the Companion Stallion Kyrith. With a Spirit Cube in hand and the authority of the Moirae behind her, she arrives to ground the Warp... A story about language discipline, headology, and Narrative Causality.

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In the high, ivory spires of the 500 Kingdoms, the air usually tasted of lavender and inevitable conclusions. But today, Elena—Godmother, weaver of fates, and reluctant servant of the Tradition—felt a bitter tang of ozone on her tongue.

She sat in her solar, surrounded by maps of narrative ley lines. To any ordinary observer, the maps showed kingdoms and forests. To Elena, they showed the "Flow." She could see the Cinderella-currents and the Sleeping Beauty-eddies. But in the far North, beyond the borders of her known world, a hole had opened. It wasn't just a hole; it was a vacuum.

"Something is shouting," she whispered, her fingers tracing a jagged line on the parchment that shouldn't exist.

The Tradition—that ancient, semi-sentient force of Story—was surging within her. It felt like a physical weight, a crown of iron pressing down on her brow. It demanded a protagonist. It sensed a "Spark" in a distant land, a child manifesting raw, unshaped power, and it was screaming for Elena to go and "fix" it. In the logic of the Tradition, an unscripted child was a danger to the weave. She had to be forced into a role—a Princess, a Goose-girl, a Victim—anything to stop the leak.

"Fine," Elena snapped at the empty air, her voice cracking with the strain of resisting the mandatory summons. "I’ll take care of the child."

She meant she would go to the border and investigate the local disturbance. But the Tradition was a literalist. It heard a binding declaration.

The room dissolved. The stone floor turned to mist, and the walls of her solar stretched into the infinite trunks of an eternal forest. Elena didn't walk; she was flung across the multiverse by the force of her own promise, caught in the slipstream of a Story that refused to be ignored.

 

High above the Great Road, in a space between spaces where the stars looked like geometric equations, Sue checked the Mandala Compass.

The needle wasn’t spinning; it was vibrating so hard it hummed. As a Primaris-Superior and an Empress-in-Waiting, Sue’s internal VRCL (Virtual Cognitive Layers) were already processing the data at posthuman speeds. This wasn't just a narrative leak. It was a Patternbreak.

"Kyrith," she said, her voice calm despite the flashing warnings in her mind's eye. "The Ramtop sector of the Discworld reality is fraying. Someone is literalizing puns. It’s creating a chaotic resonance."

The silver-white stallion beneath her shifted his weight. Kyrith, a Companion of the Great Road, didn't need words to communicate his concern. His thoughts brushed against hers—a sense of ancient stone and rushing wind.

The Warp is responding, Kyrith’s presence warned. The entropy of the Grim-Dark sector senses the fracture. If the puns continue to break the logic of that world, the walls will thin enough for the Lost Bits to pour through.

"I know," Sue replied. She reached into the folds of her tactical skin-suit and withdrew the Spirit Cube. It was cold, heavy, and resonated with the "syncretic theology" of the Empire—a tool built to stabilize the fallen energies of lesser gods and chaotic tides.

She wasn't just going there to save a child. She was going to prevent a multiversal collision. If the 40k reality—a universe of total war and psychic rot—collided with the whimsical but fragile narrative of the Discworld, neither would survive the transition.

"Let's move, Kyrith," Sue commanded. "Surgical intervention. We anchor the girl, we silence the meddler, and we seal the rift before the Daemons find the door."

Kyrith reared, his hooves striking sparks off the invisible pavement of the Great Road, and dived into the shimmering veil of the Ramtop Mountains.

On the Discworld, Granny Weatherwax was having a very bad day.

It had started with the Perkins girl, Minnie, crying rivers. Not metaphorical rivers—actual, trout-filled water rushing out of her eyes. Granny had spent the morning trying to tell the girl that she was just "having a moment," but Minnie’s Talent was faster than Granny’s Headology.

"I feel like the world is falling apart!" Minnie had wailed.

Immediately, the sound of tearing fabric had filled the valley. Giant, metaphysical seams appeared in the air, revealing glimpses of terrifying places: a world where everything was made of puns (Xanth) and a world where everything was made of grim, bloody iron (the 40k Warp).

"Now listen here, you little baggage!" Granny barked, planting her boots firmly in the mud. "You stop that this instant! You’re a person, not a theatrical performance!"

But then Elena arrived, appearing out of a swirl of autumn leaves, looking frantic and holding a wand like a weapon.

"She must be scripted!" Elena cried, the Tradition's power radiating from her in waves of golden light. "If she isn't a Heroine by sunset, she will become a Void!"

"She'll be a Perkins!" Granny countered, her eyes flashing blue fire. "And I don't care how many 'Traditions' you've got in your pocket, you ain't turning a Lancre girl into a trope!"

Between them, the air began to shimmer with a mischievous, oily light. A man with a whistle around his neck and a grin far too wide for his face poked his head through a rift.

"A bit tense, isn't it?" Xanth remarked, his voice echoing with the sound of a thousand bad jokes. "Needs a little... comic relief."

He nudged a falling leaf. It didn't land; it turned into a literal "relief" map of the area made of peppermint candy. The absurdity of it acted like a narrative dog whistle. The 40k Warp, sensing the logic of the world failing, surged. A jagged shard of a red-armored shoulder plate—a "lost bit" of a dying soldier—fell from the sky and hissed as it hit the grass.

The girl, Minnie, looked at the armor, her ears (all forty-two of them) twitching in terror. "It’s... it’s the end of the world!" she shrieked.

The sky began to crack like an eggshell.

 

Then came the hooves.

The sound was like thunder, but orderly. Precise. From the height of the Ramtops, Kyrith descended, his silver coat gleaming against the bruised purple of the collapsing sky. Sue sat astride him, her expression one of absolute, imperial focus.

She didn't look at the witches. She didn't look at the Godmother. She looked at the Spirit Cube in her hand.

"Containment protocol: Initiated," Sue said.

She tossed the Cube into the air. It didn't fall; it hung at the center of the fracture, its faces unfolding into a complex, rotating mandala of gold and silver.

The Cube began to hum a low, resonant frequency that targeted the "Lost Bits" of the Warp. The red armor, the oily shadows of Tzeentch’s giggling influence, and the raw chaotic energy of the 40k incursion were drawn toward the Cube’s open faces. It didn't just suck them in; it processed them. The Cube, as a tool of the Pattern, took the entropy and turned it into stable, neutral background radiation.

The sky stopped cracking. The "rivers of sorrow" flowing from Minnie’s eyes slowed to a trickle.

Sue turned her gaze toward Xanth, who was suddenly looking much less confident.

"You," Sue said, her voice projecting the authority of the Moirae. "This is not a playground. This is a protected sector of the Pattern. Your puns are currently acting as a beacon for the Warp. You will cease, or I will archive you."

Granny Weatherwax nodded approvingly. "Tell him, lady. He's been nothing but a nuisance since he got here."

"And you," Sue said, looking at Elena. "The Tradition is a tool, not a master. Stop trying to force a script. This girl doesn't need a story; she needs a teacher."

Elena blinked, the iron weight on her brow suddenly lifting as Sue’s presence stabilized the local reality. For the first time in an hour, Elena could breathe without the Tradition shouting in her ear.

The detangling had begun. With the Spirit Cube holding the Chaos at bay and Sue providing the multiversal anchor, the two worlds began to slide apart. The peppermints turned back into leaves. The ears on Minnie’s arms began to fade.

"Right then," Granny said, grabbing Minnie by the shoulder and anchoring her with a firm, human grip. "Let's get this sorted. And someone tell that whistling man to go home before I show him what a real Ramtop 'joke' looks like."

 

The valley was no longer a theater of the absurd, but it was not yet a home. It was a liminal space, held in stasis by the humming rotation of the Spirit Cube. The violet light of the device pulsed in time with the heartbeat of the world, a rhythmic "thump-shush" that signaled the Warp was being successfully digested.

Sue stood at the center of this stillness. Her silver-white stallion, Kyrith, stood like a statue of marble and moonlight behind her, his nostrils flared as he scented the lingering ozone of the 40k incursion. Sue looked like a law of physics that had finally decided to manifest and fix a typo.

She turned her attention to the rift where Xanth’s face was still visible. He was no longer grinning. The mischievous spark in his eyes had turned to a flicker of genuine uncertainty. In his own realm, he was a master of the whimsical nudge, a player of puns who saw reality as a pun-filled playground. Here, in the presence of a woman the Wraith called Regina Vita, he looked like a child caught playing with matches in a powder magazine.

“The joke is over,” Sue said. Her voice carried the weight of the Multiversal Empire—a thousand settled worlds, a million miles of the Great Road, and the silent, terrifying approval of the Moirae. “You have been playing with ‘narrative dog whistles’ in a sector where the walls between Sanity and the Warp are dangerously thin. Do you have any idea what you almost invited in to eat you all?”

Xanth shifted, his image flickering like a bad television signal. “It was just a bit of fun! A nudge here, a literalized metaphor there… the girl was bored! She has Talent! I was merely providing a medium for her expression.”

“You were providing a lighthouse for Daemons,” Sue corrected. She stepped forward, and with every footfall, the peppermints on the ground shivered back into brown, dormant leaves. “You were thinning the barrier until the ‘Lost Bits’ of a universe that knows only war began to fall into a valley that knows only sheep. You didn't just nudge a metaphor; you compromised a Pattern-Anchor.”

Granny Weatherwax moved to stand beside Sue. She looked diminutive next to the tall, armored Empress-in-Waiting, but Granny’s presence was a different kind of density. She was the absolute center of wherever she happened to be.

“He’s a meddler,” Granny said, her voice like grinding gravel. “I’ve seen his sort before. They think because they’ve got a bit of 'clever,' they don't need any 'wise.' They poke and they pry and they never think about who’s got to sweep up the mess afterward.”

Granny looked up at the rift, her blue eyes pinning Xanth like a butterfly to a board.

“You think it’s funny, making a girl all ears?” Granny asked. “You think it’s a laugh, making her cry rivers? She’s a person, you great loon. She ain’t a punchline. She’s got to grow up and live in this world, and she can’t do that if you’ve gone and turned her into a walking riddle.”

Elena, the Godmother, stepped forward as well. Her silk gown was stained with Ramtop mud, and her wand hand was shaking, but her resolve had returned. The crushing weight of the Tradition had been lifted by Sue’s intervention, and in its place was a cold, professional fury.

“My Tradition would have consumed her because of you,” Elena said to Xanth. “It sensed the instability you created and tried to force her into a tragic arc to balance the scales. If this… Queen… had not arrived, I would have been forced to turn this child into a sacrificial lamb just to keep the world from tearing open. Is that ‘fun’?”

Xanth looked from the Godmother to the Witch, and finally back to Sue. He looked at the Spirit Cube, which was now glowing with a settled, golden hue, having fully processed the 40k detritus. He saw the containment faces—the open "mouths" of the Cube—and realized that if he didn't leave, he would be the next thing it "stabilized."

“I… I see your point,” Xanth stammered. “Perhaps the humor was a bit… ill-timed. Not the right audience. Tough crowd.”

“Go home,” Sue commanded. She raised her hand, and the Mandala Compass on her wrist flared with a blinding, white light. “If I detect your signature in this sector again, I will not send a scolding. I will send a Citadel Fleet to pave your orange groves into a highway. Am I understood?”

Xanth didn't wait to argue. With a sound like a deflating balloon, the rift snapped shut. The smell of oranges vanished, replaced by the honest, pungent scent of wet wool and damp peat.

“Good riddance,” Granny muttered.

Sue exhaled, a sharp, controlled release of tension. She turned to the Spirit Cube and made a series of rapid gestures. The device slowed its rotation and began to descend, its faces folding back into a perfect, seamless silver block.

“The Warp is grounded,” Sue announced. “The 40k collision has been averted. The energies have been reconstituted into the Pattern.”

She looked at Elena. “Godmother. You are released from your binding declaration. The vacuum has been filled with Imperial stability; the Tradition has no more purchase here. You may return to the 500 Kingdoms.”

Elena bowed her head, a gesture of profound respect. “I owe you a debt, traveler. My world would have been pulled into this vortex along with the Disc. How do I… how do I go back?”

“The Road is open,” Sue said, gesturing toward a shimmering path that had appeared behind Kyrith, and lead deep into another world's forest. “It will take you to your borders. Tell your Tradition that this sector is under the stewardship of the Ramtop Witches. It is to be bypassed.”

Elena nodded, glanced one last time at the girl—who was now just a shivering child in a damp dress—and stepped into the light. She vanished without a sound.

Now, only Sue, Granny, and the girl remained.

Minnie Perkins was sitting on a rock, her forty-two ears having retreated back into her skin, leaving her with only the standard two. She looked exhausted, her eyes red from her literalized tears.

“She’s unchanged,” Sue said, observing the girl’s bio-signature with her Virtual Reality HUD. “The Talent is still there, but it is dormant. The trauma of the collision has shocked her system into a temporary reset.”

Granny Weatherwax walked over to Minnie and put a firm, surprisingly gentle hand on the girl’s head. “It won't stay dormant. Not with a spark like that. The world will keep trying to make a story out of her.”

“Then you must teach her to be the author,” Sue said. She reached into a small pouch on Kyrith’s saddle and pulled out a small, crystal slate—a basic primer on linguistic discipline and cognitive anchoring. She handed it to Granny. “This is a guide to language discipline. It’s how we train our own Heralds. It teaches the mind to separate the Word from the Thing. If she learns to control her definitions, the metaphors will never be able to control her.”

Granny took the slate, squinting at it. “Magic writing, eh?”

“Logic writing,” Sue corrected. “The most powerful kind.”

Sue mounted Kyrith in one fluid motion. The stallion reared, his hooves striking the stabilized air.

“The rupture is sealed,” Sue said. “The worlds are separate. I must return to the Great Road; the Moirae do not like their messengers to linger once the message is delivered.”

“Wait,” Granny called out as the silver horse began to fade into the mist. “Who are you, exactly? In case anyone asks.”

Sue looked back, her eyes reflecting the infinite stars of the Pattern. “I am a memory of how things are supposed to be. Tell the girl to stay human. It’s the hardest job in the multiverse.”

With a flash of silver and a ripple in the air, Sue and Kyrith were gone.

The valley was silent. The "mountain of a problem" was a molehill again. The "rivers of sorrow" were just puddles in the mud. Granny Weatherwax looked down at Minnie, then at the crystal slate in her hand.

“Right then,” Granny said, her voice sounding wonderfully normal. “Up you get, Minnie Perkins. We’ve got a long walk home, and you’ve got to learn how to say 'it's raining cats and dogs' without causing a veterinary emergency.”

“Yes, Granny,” Minnie whispered, taking the witch’s hand.

And as they walked away, the Spirit Cube—now a tiny, invisible spark in the atmosphere—finally dissolved, its work done. The world was stable. The puns were gone.

 

On the Great Road, the silver-white stallion Kyrith maintained a steady gallop through the shimmering veil of the Pattern. Sue sat upright, her VRCL (Virtual Cognitive Layers) finalising the data dump from the Spirit Cube.

The Cube had successfully processed the 40k detritus. The "Lost Bits"—shards of tainted armor, mad elementals, and psychic residue—had been neutralized into inert background energy. The collision point was sealed. Sue checked her Mandala Compass; the needle was steady.

:The girl remains an Anchor:, Kyrith’s thought brushed against her mind. :But she is a silent one now:.

"She has to be," Sue replied. "A loud Anchor attracts the Warp. Granny Weatherwax will keep her grounded. The Discworld has a way of absorbing the impossible until it's just 'one of those things'."

The Imperial records would show a successful surgical intervention in Sector 7-G. No planetary-scale damage, no lingering narrative infection. The Moirae would be satisfied.

She felt the hum of the Great Road beneath Kyrith’s hooves, a constant reminder of the Order she served. Behind her, the rift to the Discworld was a pinpoint of light that finally winked out.

 

Granny Weatherwax didn't go back to her cottage immediately. She took Minnie Perkins to the high meadows, where the air was thin enough to discourage idle chatter. The crystal slate Sue had left sat on a flat stump between them.

"Read it," Granny commanded.

Minnie looked at the slate. The letters didn't sit still. They were logic-gates, shifting as she processed them. "It says... 'The Word is the Map, not the Territory.'"

"Right," Granny said. "You've been making the map real. When you say you're 'broken-hearted,' you start leaking stuffing and gears. That stops now. You're going to learn to hold the word in your mouth like a hot coal until you're sure you want to spit it out."

Back in Lancre, the village was already forgetting the "rivers of sorrow." Memory on the Discworld is like a pond; once the stone stops skipping, the ripples settle fast. But Minnie Perkins was different. She looked at a tree, and for a second, she saw the metaphorical "roots of the problem." She blinked, used the anchoring technique from the slate, and saw just a tree.

"Better," Granny muttered.

 

The Godmother Elena stood on the borders of the 500 Kingdoms. The Tradition was quiet—a low, contented thrum in the back of her mind. The vacuum she had been sent to fill was gone. The "Script" had been torn up by someone who didn't believe in scripts.

She looked at her wand. It was just wood and core again, no longer vibrating with the desperation of a thousand fairy tales.

"Stay human," she whispered, repeating Sue’s parting words.

She turned and walked back toward her ivory spires. She had a report to write for her own Council, though she suspected they wouldn't believe a word of it. Stories about silver horses and women with metal cubes tended to be dismissed as "experimental fiction" by the Tradition’s gatekeepers.

Back in the Ramtops, a small girl sat at a kitchen table.

"Minnie, dear," her mother said, "could you give me a hand with these dishes? I'm swamped."

Minnie froze. She felt her Talent twitch, ready to turn the kitchen into a literal swamp. She gripped the edge of the table, visualized the crystal slate, and anchored herself to the floorboards.

"I'll help you in a minute, Mum," Minnie said carefully. "I'm just busy being a girl sitting at a table."

The Talent subsided. The kitchen stayed dry.

Granny Weatherwax, watching through the window from the garden path, gave a single, sharp nod and walked off into the woods to find some herbs; leaving the Discworld exactly as it was meant to be: slightly damp, very stubborn, and entirely its own.

Chapter Two: The Architecture of Metaphor

The high, ivory spires of the 500 Kingdoms were no longer the comforting towers of certainty they once were. Elena, Godmother and weaver of fates, spent her weeks pacing the edges of her solar, her eyes no longer on the maps of Cinderella-currents, but on the thin, shimmering seams where the air tasted of ozone. She began to recognize the frequency—a vibration that hummed like a needle in a compass. One afternoon, while tracing a jagged line of narrative ley lines that refused to resolve into a happy ending, she saw it: a flicker of silver-white light that looked remarkably like the strike of a hoof.

She didn't wait for a summons, or for the Tradition to scream in her ear. Elena stepped into the shimmer, her hand gripping her staff as a stabilizer. The world dissolved, not into the mist of a mandatory story, but into the structured, geometric infinite of the Great Road.

 

Sue was waiting. She sat at a small, collapsible tactical table set directly upon the invisible pavement of the Great Road, where the stars above looked like equations. There were two mugs: one containing a steaming, nutrient-dense cocoa, the other a fragrant lavender tea that smelled exactly like home.

"You're late for the debrief," Sue said, her voice carrying that same posthuman calm that had stabilized the Ramtops.

Elena sat, her silk gown rustling against the cold, imperial air. "I was busy explaining to a council of literalists why 'happily ever after' is a statistical impossibility when the Warp is leaking into the scullery," Elena replied, her voice crackling with the frustrated energy of a rebel.

They spoke for hours as the Multiverse drifted past. Elena spoke of the "story pressure"—the way the Tradition acted like a crown of iron, demanding that every child be a protagonist or a victim. Sue countered with the "Pattern," a framework of narrative causality designed to prevent multiversal collisions.

"It is a question of consent," Sue observed, her Virtual Cognitive Layers processing the ethics of their intervention. "The Tradition forces a role to stop a leak. The Pattern stabilizes the leak so the individual can choose their own role".

"But the child is still the battleground," Elena whispered, looking into her tea. "Minnie Perkins didn't ask to be an Anchor. She just wanted to cry".

"Which is why we teach discipline," Sue said, her gaze shifting to the Mandala Compass on her wrist. "Language is the first wall of defense. If the word becomes the thing, the person vanishes".

Suddenly, the Compass chimed. A sharp, rhythmic vibration pulsed through the table.

"A flare," Sue announced, her expression shifting into absolute imperial focus. "Sector 7-G. The Ramtops. Minnie’s Talent is spiking again".

Elena stood, her wand hand steady. "I’m going with you. The Tradition is already trying to scent the opening. If I'm there, I can shield her from the script".

 

On the Discworld, the sky was turning a very specific, dangerous shade of mauve. Granny Weatherwax was standing in a field of daisies that were currently trying to turn into actual, literal "day's eyes"—thousands of blinking, weeping pupils staring up from the grass.

"Stop that gawping!" Granny barked at the ground, planting her boots firmly. She looked up as Sue and Elena materialized through a ripple in the air. "Took you long enough," Granny muttered, not looking surprised. "The girl’s gone and said she felt like 'the weight of the world' was on her shoulders, and now I’ve got to hold up her left arm with a fence post to keep her from sinking into the bedrock".

Behind Granny, Minnie Perkins sat on a stump, her left shoulder sagging under an invisible, metaphysical burden that was cracking the stones beneath her.

"Elena, focus on the Tradition’s interference—don't let a 'Giant-Slayer' narrative attach to this," Sue commanded, tossing the Spirit Cube into the air. "I will anchor the metaphysics".

The air began to shimmer with an oily, mischievous light. A rift opened, and a man with a whistle and a look of profound annoyance poked his head through.

"I DIDN'T DO THIS!" Xanth shouted, his voice echoing with the sound of a thousand bad jokes. "I was in the middle of a pun-conference regarding the 'sole' of a shoe! I was dragged here by the resonance!".

"Since you're here, be useful," Granny snapped, grabbing him by the collar of his flamboyant tunic. "Un-pun this. Now. Or I'll show you a 'short sharp shock' that involves a lightning rod and your backside".

 

The intervention was a choreographed dance of four entirely different realities.

Granny Weatherwax acted as the human anchor. She held Minnie’s hand, using Headology to remind the girl that she was a Perkins of Lancre, not an Atlas.

Sue deployed the Spirit Cube. Its rotating faces unfolded, catching the "Lost Bits" of the Warp that were drawn to the absurdity of the literalized metaphor.

Elena stood with her back to the group, her wand tracing golden patterns in the air. She was creating a narrative "dead zone," ensuring the Tradition couldn't see the "Heroic Burden" Minnie was carrying and attempt to script a tragedy, and drawing off the impending Traditional energies.

Xanth, under Granny’s terrifying glare, began to whistle backwards. He focused on the "weight," nudging the literal interpretation back into the figurative until the invisible pressure began to evaporate into the smell of oranges.

It was smoother than the last time. There were no forty-two ears, no rivers of trout. The daisies blinked once and turned back into ordinary, sightless flowers. Minnie’s shoulder rose as the "weight" vanished.

"Containment complete," Sue announced, the Spirit Cube folding back into a silent silver block.

 

An hour later, the four of them sat in Granny Weatherwax’s small kitchen. The air smelled of damp peat, wet wool, and the faint, lingering ozone of the Great Road. Minnie was asleep in the back room, clutching the crystal slate Sue had given her.

"We need a protocol," Elena said, her mud-stained gown ignored. "The Tradition will keep trying to fill the vacuum Minnie creates. If I coordinate with Sue, we can jam the signal before it reaches the 500 Kingdoms".

Sue confirmed that Minnie’s Talent remained a "Pattern-Anchor," meaning any future instability could act as a lighthouse for Daemons or "Lost Bits" from the 40k Warp
"And I'll keep the girl's head straight," Granny added, pouring tea that was strong enough to peel paint. "She’s got to learn that a 'broken heart' is just a way of saying you're sad, not a reason to start leaking clockwork". Granny committed to overseeing Minnie’s daily "Logic Writing" to ensure the girl maintained the separation between the Word and the Thing. Elena would monitor the "Flow" from the 500 Kingdoms. If the Tradition attempted to force Minnie into a tragic or heroic script, Elena would use her Godmother status to "jam" the narrative signal before it reached the Discworld. Sue nodded, her VRCL finalising the data dump. "I have flagged this sector as a 'Protected Anchor.' Xan/th, your presence here is… tolerated, provided you act as a pressure valve for the puns rather than an amplifier". Xan/th looked at the Spirit Cube sitting on the table and then at Granny’s fireplace poker. "I believe I can find the humor in a more… disciplined approach," he stammered

"The goal is simple," Sue said, her eyes reflecting the infinite stars of the Pattern as she prepared to depart. "We keep the worlds separate. We keep the Warp out. And we make sure the girl stays human"."The Warp is grounded for now," Sue concluded, her Mandala Compass glowing a steady, peaceful gold. "But as long as the child has the Spark, the Multiverse will keep knocking. We are the door-guards now."

"It's a lot of work just to keep things normal," Elena noted, a small, weary smile touching her lips.

"Normal is the hardest script to write," Granny muttered, giving a single, sharp nod of approval.

As Sue and Elena stepped back onto the Great Road, leaving the Discworld to its stubborn, damp reality, the silence in the valley was no longer a theater of the absurd. It was the quiet of a well-guarded home.

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