Work Text:
Invel felt rather confident about this war.
His majesty calm and focused at the ready ahead of him, a barrage of men behind with numbers comparable to the amount of grass in a spring field, all advancing towards that miniscule speck in the distance holding a town bereft neither of fort nor fortress. The full might of an empire against a singular magic guild.
They’ve already conducted their thorough analysis. They knew their enemy. Their virtues and vices, the power they’d wield, the shields they’d put up, every potential weakness to make break and buckle under its own weight. Total domination was imminent, and Alvarez’s total salvation against the might of the once-thought unkillable evil was at hand.
Yes, Invel was feeling in quite a good mood regarding the outcome of today.
Not even as the formation to the west began to waver, soldiers inching back as they witnessed a pillar of flames erupt from the edge of their division’s radius, footsoldiers trying everything and succeeding in nothing to halt its advance.
A sadly expected outcome. Small their enemy forces were, its strength could not be underestimated.
But Alvarez always came prepared. And as the embodiment of its might, Invel ensured as such.
Air shifted, frost seeped into the soil.
“Let them come,” his majesty spoke.
The chill dissipated as if an extension of Emperor Spriggan’s own will.
They waited as the fire grew hotter, the pillar closer. Waited till that might of the sun descended from the sky in a ball of flames to a man with the smell of charcoal in his scarf and a winged cat clinging for dear life to his back.
His majesty greeted the intruder with a calmness reserved for those about to play a final winning move in a game that had been set the moment it started. “Hello, Natsu.”
Natsu Dragneel, Salamander of Fairy Tail, younger brother to one Zeref Dragneel—otherwise known as Emperor Spriggan—and potentially greatest risk to Alvarez’s current conquest, turned around with a growl befitting of his draconic magic to no doubt bear a mighty declaration of defiance against his majesty and all he stood for.
“Not now Zeref! We’re trying to beat this Emperor Spriggan guy or somethin’.”
…
His majesty was not stunned, of course. He’d never be, he had four lifetimes of experience to not be caught off guard by such buffoonery. He was simply refusing to dignify it with a response.
Even as the man in front of them continued hollering for a sovereign he just dismissed.
“Those guards were shouting like he was somewhere this way. Maybe we went too far,” his talking cat stated, as if asking for directions in the midst of battle, to their opponent’s king mind you, was reasonable advice.
At this point, Invel thought it best to interrupt. “You seek violence against his majesty Emperor Spriggan.”
The dragon slayer’s gaze darted to him with a tooth-filled snarl. “Yeah, that guy that Gramps couldn’t get a hold of and started a war all of the sudden.”
Ah yes, one of Alvarez’s plans for preparation, where the guild’s leader had been invited to the capital and stuck in a year’s worth of bureaucratic meetings waiting to address his majesty for negotiations that would never come to play. A truly ingenious tactic if Invel didn’t say so himself.
Such a shame that Fairy Tail had staged a successful rescue mission before his majesty arrived for what would have been a first and last meeting.
His majesty held up a hand before Invel could address such fools.
“That is me,” his majesty answered.
The two nincumpoops stared at his majesty as if it wasn’t obvious.
“Hang on, you’re telling me you’ve been moonlighting as this Emperor guy this whole time?!” Natsu Dragneel exclaimed.
“I don’t see why that’s such a surprise,” his majesty replied with the utmost calm.
“This is simply the product of his majesty’s efforts in creating an eternal empire unstoppable to all,” Invel explained, as it was becoming obvious now the two would possess no such understanding otherwise. “And unfortunately for you, Fairy Tail, you are in the way of such a prerogative."
The cat looked from left to right, eying the million-person army. “Yeah, I don’t think you’re very good at this.”
Of course his majesty was unphased by the feline's unsound claims, and certainly did not do anything so degrading as to bend down to a level that would be considered eye-to-eye with the creature.
…but he did lean forward a little. “Why would you think that?”
Normally such a lesser creature would know fear enough to flee by now. Not that the cat’s paws weren’t shaking hard enough to be visible from across the battlefield, but it did stand its ground. Perhaps Invel could allow some modicum of respect to it.
“Well…it did sound like you took a long time getting back to your castle instead of meeting up with Master like the guards said you would. And then you kinda sent out everyone here at once. That’s gotta be really bad for everyone back home who’s got to do everything now.”
“Oh?” his majesty inquired at the little thing, almost amused. “And what would you propose?”
“Umm…” the foolish creature sputtered. To be granted such amnesty from the Emperor without thinking such conversation through, it was almost embarrassing to watch. “Then have me be king for a week!”
Invel could almost laugh. Surely his majesty had enough of entertaining this foolish creature. Becoming Emperor for a week? Preposterous. It was a cat. One with the capacity of magic and speech yes, but a cat nonetheless, and one belonging to the enemy at that.
“Sounds fine.”
Silence hung across the field.
“What?!” shouted his majesty’s younger brother.
“What?!” shouted the Alvarez military surrounding them.
“Wait, what?!” shouted the cat who propositioned the asinine request in the first place.
Invel did not curse under his breath. He was above such a reaction, as clearly he misheard his majesty’s claim to…to abdicate his position in the wake of a cat.
Unfortunately his majesty chose to elaborate at that moment. “I suppose giving you leadership for the week would be interesting.” He almost smiled, just as almost-amused as ever.
It was considerably less amusing now. “Your majesty, surely this isn’t the time for this,” Invel requested. Formally, of course. In no way whatsoever could it be interpreted as pleading.
His majesty paused and a glimmer of hope flickered.
This hope was swiftly exorcised when his majesty shook his head. “I don’t see why not.”
Because they were currently in the midst of battle. Not the eve, the dead center, fully-equipped battalion and all ready to demolish their enemies. Because doing so would be considered surrendering to said enemies. Because that is a cat!
“Your majesty,” Invel pleaded. Formally still of course.
“I’m not his majesty, he is,” said his majesty with that almost calm, as if throne abdication to an enemy pet was a normal occurrence.
“Aye,” said the cat who was not his majesty. “Praise me more.”
Clearly this was a terrible decision. Clearly the power had already gone to the thing’s head. Invel had to put a stop to this.
Thankfully those years of law school had prepared him for this exact moment. See Brandish, studying that five-hundred page dry read of obscure legal proceedings wasn't solely for treating crippling insomnia. “Your majesty, the transfer of power requires the in-person approval of the ruler’s direct consultant, meaning those with the rank of Spriggan Shield or higher. Given I cannot approve my authorization of this request on such short notice, this proposal cannot be completed.”
“Ah, I supposed I did make that rule,” his majesty said.
And that would be that. His majesty would finally come back to his senses, and this front could continue its advance with relatively little interruption.
This is what Invel thought.
That is…until his majesty turned to his estranged younger brother. “Natsu, as this cat’s guardian and therefore a direct consultant should he become Emperor for a week, do you give approval?”
Invel concluded at this point, he would like to go home now. Preferably with the war not started yet so he could prevent this scenario fabricated from his worst nightmares from occurring. And if this was truly the waking world…Invel would like a corner to cry in.
“Like hell I will!” his majesty’s younger brother protested. How ironic, the individual Invel thought would be the greatest problem in this campaign would turn into his greatest ally.
“But Natsu! Infinite fish!” the cat whined.
“The marine supply of nutrients within Alvarez is vast but not infinite I’m afraid, and therefore insufficient for such needs,” Invel pointed out, rather calmly mind you. Because surely, surely, doing so would force the cat to detract its statements (and no, he was not getting desperate or, as Brandish would say, “grasping at straws”).
Sadly, because of course it was, this did nothing to detract the cat from giving its charge a look full of wide pleading eyes. And sadly, much to Invel’s chagrin, the Emperor’s younger brother’s conviction seemed to waver under its gaze. Because of course that would happen.
It didn’t take long for the man to break. “Or…maybe you can talk about it to Lucy first, right?”
Invel could unfortunately give this Natsu Dragneel some respect for at least resisting such an obvious weakness. Should it have been a meeting among government representatives, he would mentally applaud him for recognizing a losing scenario enough to pass the responsibility onto someone more qualified to avoid making horrible mistakes. Such as allowing a cat to be Emperor.
Of course, upon arrival and many questions later, the Heartfillia heiress unfortunately recognized the current situation as a perfect way for Alvarez's enemies to win the war with minimal casualties enough to overcome the reasonable amount of paranoia that came from accepting such an asinine proposal as legitimate and thus…
The Second Emperor of Alvarez turned out to be…a talking blue cat.
One would be surprised how fast it takes to cover the floor of the Alvarez throne room with cat toys.
Needless to say, it took much less than a week.
The pristine marble had been flooded with practically every kind of toy ball, from plush and stuffed with enough tinsel to act as a miniature disco ball to rattling with enough bells to be heard from the courtyard. And that was just the ball toys. Others included a stack of cheap wands piled to the height of a small person, various feathers pulled from said wand toys, and springs hiding in more corners than Invel knew existed.
Unfortunately, all were endorsed by the previous Emperor who fancied himself watching almost-amusedly as his usurper chased anything moving back and forth across the throne room. At first Invel, in his desperation to cling to what little sanity the situation had left, had considered such actions had been a ploy to distract the creature during its limited reign.
Given the train of events which led to the crisis at hand, Invel also had his doubts.
Not that such tactics had worked anyway. As her background implied, the Heartfillia heiress was quick to recognize most political machinations such as ensuring any aggressions against Ishgar were officially halted and pulling the cat away from his infinite distractions…much unlike the rest of its council.
As his currently-abdicated majesty unfortunately predicted, the cat appointed those closest to him as confidants. This was unfortunately not due to their competence, as the…structural conundrums that came with having the likes of a habitual stripper, Irene’s daughter, and his majesty’s younger brother in a building that contained a considerable amount of breakable artifacts indicated.
…as proven by word of the Scarlet Despair’s reunion with her estranged child leading to the destruction of Vistarion Palace’s Fifth Wing. And Brandish—whose mother had originally perished under the Heartfilia estate’s watch and thus experienced the foreign concept to her known as motivation—sought to confront the Heartfillia heiress for her family's crimes. And Gray Fullbuster, also known by many as either “the naked ice perv” or “the devil slayer currently on a crusade against anything demon-shaped” stumbled across the rather not-human-looking Bloodman.
All these factors explained those sudden intense earthquakes this morning.
The single miracle in Invel’s life at the moment was the fact that his ever growing list of mayhem caused by these invaders did not include one Natsu Dragneel. One would think an individual who was essentially a human-shaped gasoline fire would have been a disaster within the halls of Vistarion, and that wasn’t even accounting for the familial aspects.
Taking the fact that this was his majesty’s younger brother into account, the list of potential problems turned exponential. Yes, his majesty had assured him that such ties would not pull their current course with a spear pointed to his estranged family’s beloved guild’s soul astray, but the fact that in the past half a decade Invel had learned details regarding not only Natsu Dragneel’s family, but also his first words, favorite foods, and much too many vignettes regarding reckless fire-loving toddlers…let’s say there was a reason Invel considered the fire dragon slayer their largest risk factor when invading Fiore.
But despite the metaphorical powder keg his mere presence could cause, Natsu Dragneel did not, in fact, set anything on fire.
Yes, he did punch Neinhart before the man could start his standard kowtowing routine on the newly-crowned Emperor. But that did not require Neinhart to be set on fire to do so.
If anything, his majesty’s younger brother had tried to caution his rogue cat against all those rash decisions he had been documented for committing. Perhaps it was Vistarion’s politics being a topic the man recognized he was woefully unqualified with engaging. Perhaps it was out of genuine concern for the creature he raised following in his highly-unrecommended footsteps. Perhaps it was simply to counter his majesty who seemed to consistently encourage his usurper’s fish-minded impulses.
But either way, Natsu Dragneel had somehow become Invel’s greatest ally.
A temporary one, but with this current mess it was perhaps the only thing stopping Invel from banging his head against a wall.
Besides what was no doubt going to be a sleepless night’s worth of extra paperwork from its confidant’s mere presence alone, the creature was doing no favors for Invel’s waning sanity. It even had the gall of turning most Spriggans—who despite their reluctance to participate in such political endeavors, Invel did make sure each and every one of them were well trained in the art of governance—from a similar level of confidentiality they once possessed. With the exception of August, whom in his vast array of replicating countless magic must have at some point stumbled upon a spell which could summon cat toys, and Brandish, who immediately garnered favor with a salmon the size of a two-story building.
Of course Invel refused to leave such madness unattended, and remained despite a lack of a coronation gift. Thankfully his currently-abdicated majesty’s lenience towards formality breaches worked in his favor for once.
Unfortunately, he also had to witness the throne room’s descent into the cat-toy-infested madness it became after forty-eight hours.
The continuous bouts of posing from one of his coworkers did not help any. “God Serena, I heavily advise against…” Invel would like to say actions of questionable productivity, but that would be rude. “...that.”
Sadly the individual performing said action of questionable productivity did not stop their continuous rotation between elaborate poses in a way that was reminiscent of a considerably annoying peacock. “Nonsense! Celebrating our Second Emperor's coronation must be done with full attention.”
Invel almost didn’t want to ask. “By posing?”
The subject in question changed poses yet again. Somehow a spotlight had descended directly above his fellow coworker and…were those sparkles coming off of him? “No, with my magnificence of course! After all, what better gift to celebrate such an occasion than me?”
All this shouting must have at some point notified the usurper feline, who stopped continuously pouncing on Toy Bell Ball Number Twenty-Two to look in their direction.
God Serena changed poses again. And again. And again.
The cat went back to his toy.
This devastated God Serena into a weeping mess in the corner, notably with the spontaneous spotlight still centered on his curled form.
This was going to be a long week.
“You know,” Brandish mentioned idly. “You could always mention you go ice fishing from time to time.”
“Preposterous,” Invel responded. Still formally of course, if there was one thing he could maintain during this accursed usurpation, it was that. “Unlike some individuals, I refuse to stoop to the level of bribery to curry favor.”
His traitorous coworker merely hummed in response.
Right, of course he was expecting sympathy from the unofficial Queen of Procrastination. And that unofficial part was only because she'd forgotten to crown herself still. “I would have thought you’d have more objections working in proximity to the Heartfillia heiress."
“I did,” came the bored reply. “Then we talked. Turns out her mother did not kill mine, so everything’s cool now. It’s called communication.”
Invel was not sure how a mere conversation could turn suspected homicide accusations into “everything’s cool now,” but given the circumstances behind the premature ending of an international conflict he had a feeling he was the only individual who did not share such sentiments.
It was only day three and it felt like a month's worth of bureaucracy had occurred since then. Despite its temporary nature, dignitaries and other foreign representatives were hounding Vistarion’s contact center with invoices and Jacob had his hands quite full organizing them all.
(The man had despaired during a five minute coffee break that he would not have enough time to meet their Second Emperor. Apparently his kids had been begging to adopt a cat for years and their enthusiasm had sadly infected him too)
Long story short, the Heartfillia heiress could only assist the current Emperor so far when it came to personnel meetings and—as much Invel was loath to admit it—the duty of keeping the feline with absolute political power on a tight schedule fell to him.
Now as for why he requested Brandish for assistance…he concluded she had far more leverage than he at convincing the cat to do anything that would not get her hissed at.
Such as mountain-sized bribery.
The feline-chosen in question at that point gave a humph. Which in Brandish-language, translated to extreme disappointment at forcing her to be productive. “Just saying, you could’ve brought a toy from the Pet Mart instead of me. They’ve got some pretty good sales this week.”
Still didn’t mean he was receptive to her recommendations for future endeavors.
Thankfully for the both of them the throne room doors arrived shortly thereafter and their efforts could be redirected to more important things. Such as addressing the current Emperor seated on the designated Alvarez throne.
Note that upon entering, they found the current Emperor was not, in fact, seated on the designated Alvarez throne.
At the notable time to receive foreign dignitaries and thus very-much requiring such seatage.
Somehow, this was still not swaying his former majesty, who remained within the same corner of the room as yesterday, the only difference being he was now squatting on the floor instead of standing.
Unusual behavior given Emperor Spriggan tended to remain still as long as he pleased and therefore was unlikely to tire. Certainly not enough to level oneself to a similar height as one's usurper. Such a show would make no sense.
Then again given the current series of events leading to such usurpation, sensibility did not seem to be in Emperor Spriggan’s vocabulary at the moment.
“I believe the dignitaries require the Emperor’s presence. Where is he?” Invel asked with the utmost formality. Yes he may not like the situation, but there was a matter of principle and he would cling to it if that was what it took to remain the sole voice of reason in these trying times.
“His majesty found a new throne,” his currently-abdicated majesty stated cryptically with that same almost-amusedness Invel was beginning to believe was less almost-amusedness and more a herald of an additional complication that would continue to test his patience yet again.
His majesty’s estranged brother huffed as if equally as frustrated with his majesty’s antics and gave the much more sensible answer of pointing. “Happy’s sitting over there.”
Invel’s gaze followed to the direction of said pointing and well…
On one hand, it appeared yesterday’s bout of senseless destruction must have swayed Irene’s rather polarizing feelings towards her kin to the point where she sent an apology in the form of a delicately wrapped box of her favorite desert. Of which her daughter was happily savoring on the fine red carpeted steps to the throne itself with a fervor which no doubt would result in cake crumbs on the floor. Invel chose to try ignoring that part.
On the other hand, “his majesty” as his currently-abdicated majesty so aptly put it, did indeed find a new throne.
It was the cardboard box.
The creature seemed to almost find amusement as it sat perfectly contained in that enclosed space rubbing its chin against the sides.
“Huh, neat,” Brandish commented with a faint smirk, despite there being nothing remotely amusing about the current head of the nation idling away in a box while some very important individuals would be present at any moment. “Come to think of it, he could probably do with some nice spaces. Who knows, maybe if we can get Wahl to commission a cat tree that’ll help warm the little majesty up to him too.”
His currently-abdicated majesty nodded. “Yes I’d think a cat tree sounds rather nice.”
…
When he gets back to his office, Invel was going to scream.
On day four, Invel entered the throne room to find the creature had once again won over one of his peers.
Actually, it was more the opposite, with the current Emperor happily accepting treats from Dimaria, who was wearing a smirk most commonly associated with the last face their enemies would see before she decimated an army. Coincidentally it was also the same face she made after winning an Unus card game.
Coincidentally, Ajeel—who notably had not won the creature’s approval yet—also happened to be loitering at the door watching her pet the cat with the same face he made after losing an Unus card game.
“We used to sneak these to all the little hairballs back at the convent,” she proudly explained as soon as Invel stepped within hearing range. “Thankfully Sister Hagnes was fine parting with a few to give to this little guy.”
Right, her regularly scheduled volunteer hours. It was times like these that Invel had to remember that The Warrior Queen had hobbies beyond ripping her opponents to shreds.
Sadly said hobbies seemed to be prioritized over present duties. “Dimaria, don’t you have to meet with our main battalion today regarding cross-continental transport procedures?”
The Warrior Queen gave a bored yawn. “Yeah yeah, you stuck-up report-sicle. Give me a sec.”
She clicked her teeth together and disappeared within the space between minutes, as time was wont to do in her presence.
The latest report in his hands rattled like it was just caught in a sudden but violent breeze. Coincidentally, this was what papers he held were wont to do in her presence as well.
“We gotta get more of those yummy treats,” the cat said with a purr.
Invel clung to the report like a lifeline. Thankfully not a casualty report, but still. Scorched acres of ruined soil. Many local families in turmoil as their emergency division rushed to provide aid.
They were running out of time. Acnologia was coming and yet it seemed their biggest priority was maximizing the supply of personal cat treats.
Formality dictated the current Emperor be addressed regarding such crisis. But formality be damned for usurpers.
Invel addressed his majesty directly. “I do hope you realize that by allowing this to continue, we further put our nation at risk of imminent collapse?”
His majesty merely looked up with a wide owlish curiosity and none of its brains.
Oh for crying out…“Such as, for example, defeating The Dragon of the Apocalypse? The one who swore the elimination of not only two of our finest generals but also all of Alvarez itself? With our plan that required obtaining Fairy Heart to achieve?”
Finally at last common sense seemed to enter his majesty’s skull. “Ah, right. That is rather important.”
Invel could almost cry tears of joy now. Of course he didn’t actually do so, it would be considered uncouth. Finally this farcical detour could end and Alvarez could put this unfortunate incident in poor judgment behind them.
His majesty stood up, no longer at eye-level with silly fish-obsessed fools but as the leader the nation deserved. Cold, calculated, and efficient to meet this nation’s ends. “Ready the troops Invel. We’ll need to make up lost time with increased attack efforts, therefore we should ask Irene and August to be ready for a frontal assault.”
The cat poked his majesty’s robes. “Pet me,” the creature demanded.
His majesty only twitched at such an interruption. “Luckily with Fairy Tail’s main forces occupied in Vistarion, we have the advantage. Tell Jacob and Wahl to prepare to immobilize them.”
In his peripherals, Invel observed one Natsu Dragneel stand up at attention. His sensible objections would be missed, but sadly all good things must come to an end. And Invel would be certain such would occur immediately given the word.
This was the empire Invel served. The unwavering front, the unstoppable blizzard, precise as a snowflake and brutal as a million. A nation that had withstood the century and rose into the behemoth it was today, and no buffoonery was going to send that century of progress crumbling into pieces before him.
The cat poked his majesty again.
His majesty stopped to look at the creature.
Invel could only witness in horror as his majesty abandoned the first trace of productivity. In days. To pet a cat.
It was against the law to turn the acting ruler into a popsicle. But at the moment Invel was sure tempted to commit treason.
Either that, or this was to be his fate. Forever stuck witnessing the once unstoppable Alvarez leadership making cooing noises over a cat.
“You seem stressed,” pointed out the pint-sized source of his broken sanity.
Any verbal response Invel could mutter would be translated into a string of words inappropriate for one of the highest positions of government.
Of course, being Invel, he tried his utmost to maintain formality. He was The Winter General, the cold spear of practicality, he did not resort to weeping.
The fact that one Natsu Dragneel started patting him on the back in some gesture of pity indicated such efforts to maintain formality were proven ineffective.
“Why didn’t you just ask?”
Invel could only respond to the creature's query with a mere broken, “what?”
The cat either didn’t notice the strain in Invel’s voice or didn’t find it important enough to mention. “If all you needed was Fairy Heart to stop Acnologia, why didn’t you just ask?”
“A number of reasons,” Invel responded immediately.
Invel had assumed that given the reputation of Emperor Spriggan’s identity as The Black Mage within Ishgar, resistance would be inevitable and therefore Fairy Heart would have needed to be taken by force, but now…
Now, such qualms were a nonissue.
(It arguably was a nonissue under his majesty's leadership anyway. Alvarez had conducted business with Ishgar without making known his majesty's identity before, they could have done so again)
But regardless, Alvarez did not make poor decisions. They needed infinite magic in order to counter a universal threat and merely requesting assistance would involve…
Well, it was obviously because…
In truth, not much came to mind beyond the Emperor saying so. A reasoning Invel would not have disputed previously, but given the past week of irrational mayhem proving his majesty…not the best decision maker, admitting so would be considered…embarassing.
“I…suppose those reasons for obtaining Fairy Heart with such methods are irrelevant at this point,” Invel regarded. Formally of course, but a little…reluctantly as well perhaps.
Emperor Spriggan remained very still and quiet. Which wasn’t normally unusual, except for the fact that such behavior being so in the presence of the cat was and therefore…Invel was starting to conclude perhaps his majesty’s decision to obtain Fairy Heart wasn’t entirely the most beneficial approach for the empire.
The current Emperor, cat though he was, had a spark in his eyes. Not quite determination nor intelligence, neither sharp nor cold nor precise in any way. But no less willing to assist, thrilled to invite all to share one's spoils in a mess of merriness and cheers.
According to reports, Fairy Tail had raised the cat from infancy with the name Happy. Perhaps there was a bit of truth to such a title.
“Well, I’m sure if we ask First Master, she’d be really happy trying to figure out a way to beat him,” the little ruler proposed with a smile. “She doesn’t like it when people point it out, but she can get really angry at times and he did try to blow up our island.”
“Well, that makes it easy! Let’s go beat Acnologia,” declared one Natsu Dragneel, the current Emperor cheering along such a claim an indirect approval to redirect all forces immediately to an united front.
Perhaps Invel could admit there was at least one benefit to the cat’s reign. Possibly.
Surprisingly enough, defeating the Dragon of the Apocalypse was quite easy when not preceded by a full-scale war.
Not that there weren’t complications. It wasn’t like one could predict that Acnologia would be immune to being thrown into a hole in the universe. On the bright side, the combined forces of both Fioran and Alvarezian dragon slayers…actually rectified that mistake rather quickly.
Not to mention the next day all the more…concerning individuals responsible for most property destruction within the past week were too exhausted for activities that would give Invel any desire to try pulling his hair out.
It all left Invel is a surprisingly pleasant mood.
This mood dissipated when he opened the doors to the throne room to Ajeel chasing after a screaming flying ruling sovereign.
“Invel you’re here!” In Invel’s stunned reaction he almost missed the man abandoning his cat-chasing to charge full-speed at him. “So I was thinking of some way of one-upping Dimaria of winning the little majesty over. Like, it couldn’t be something as simple as treats or something like that and bam! It hit me that the little guy needs to be in peak health right?”
Invel glanced to The Desert King’s side. “And this is why you brought Bloodman?”
Bloodman stood there menacingly. As a living embodiment of death, he could do that quite well.
Ajeel, however, nodded as if he saw no problem with this decision. “Yes! Well, maybe! It’s part of my next point, see? The best way to win the little majesty’s affection…
“Is to take him to the vet!”
Bloodman held up what appeared to be a cat carrier. “We must slay all enemies of the majesty. Including bacteria.”
And then they continued their pursuit of the cat. A rather foolhardy endeavour, given most attempts at sneaking resulted in the little sovereign flying away, and the successful ones resulted in the creature wiggling out of their grasp before the carrier could be opened.
At a certain point, they resorted to jingling all the cat’s favorite toys over the carrier in the hopes of luring him closer. These attempts were unsuccessful.
Invel turned to his former majesty. “And you approve of this?”
Emperor Spriggan nodded, his almost-amusement bordering on the real thing. “Despite their questionable approach, his majesty’s health is important.”
Invel could only watch for a questionable number of minutes before the two were finally able to place the little sovereign in the carrier, of which many cheers erupted from the two.
These cheers were quickly halted as a furry head poked out of the bag before the entire body followed in a flurry of feathers. Apparently they forgot to secure the carrier.
At this point, Ajeel resorted to desperation tactics. “Hey! Invel. Old buddy, old friend, old pal. A little help out here?”
Of course with a specialization in ice-based magic, Invel was well equipped in handling capturing rogue individuals intent on disrupting the order of his sleek flawless world. And the current Emperor was no stranger to putting metaphorical mudtracks all over it.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline,” Invel said instead.
Consider it a token of gratitude and not due to such antics being endearing.
Wahl had finished his commission of the little majesty’s cat tree later the same day.
Much like most things Wahl made, it included missiles.
This unfortunately seemed to please the cat immensely. Needless to say, by the following day the throne room was now wrecked with an array of scorched craters brought about by a cat who had been given far too much power and every inclination to take vengeance against those who dared take him to the vet.
Invel would like to say that was the worst of it, but it seemed that apparently Irene’s daughter had a love of the theater and somehow saw fit to collaborate with the likes of God Serena to both draft, receive endorsement from Irene (somehow), and perform their debut play within a single day.
Predictably, the closest theater was now on fire.
In addition, Bloodman had to readjust his role of cutting down all potential threats to the Emperor's life during peacetime and unfortunately the interpretation of that readjustment involved slaying all lilies within the Vistarion royal garden. Lucy Heartfilia had tried to stop him…but it turned out a series of underground pipes were damaged in the ensuing skirmish making several nearby rooms flooded and requiring immediate repair.
Continuing on the list, one of the local convent’s strays ended up catching some variety of feline flu and as a result Dimaria ended up seeking medical assistance from one Wendy Marvel. Without asking. This led to Gray Fullbuster trying to rescue his companion from said kidnapping, and the ensuing conflict resulted in…let’s just say a number of public indecency fines and damaged building insurance claims from the nearby market district.
Ajeel was still in the hospital (a byproduct of the newly-minted cat tree), Larcade was too busy moping over the lack of attention to be useful, Jacob finally got to meet the new Emperor and was saddled with too much attention to be useful, and Brandish…simply refused to be useful to begin with.
Invel would like to say some leeway to the little majesty’s reign could be acceptable—they defeated Acnologia a couple days ago and it was the second-to-last day before the end of his rule after all—but everyone seemed rather intent on testing that claim to the very limits.
“You know, wherever those paper piles get too tall, our master just sets them on fire and feeds them to Natsu,” the little majesty pointed out.
Invel pushed his glasses up his nose and continued drafting yet another letter to the treasury department. “I’m going to ignore the fact that you’ve just implicated Fairy Tail of willfully attempting to avoid paying financial obligations and possible tax evasion.”
Natsu Dragneel opened his mouth to say something.
“If the next sentence involves what month exactly you receive the most papers to consume that will therefore confirm the later claim, I’d advise against it,” Invel pointed out.
Natsu Dragneel closed his mouth and opted to say nothing.
The cat shrugged. “Suit yourself.” And went back to playing with a now considerably-worn ball toy.
Yes, it would be arguably more efficient to complete his duties in his office. But as it was almost the end of the cat’s reign, he wanted to make sure nothing occurred that could compromise a smooth transition to status quo. Not due to any presence of happy mewing noises being soothing and certainly not because Invel found himself already missing such company.
So yes, he was working on the floor with the risk that a certain majesty may get curious and start chewing on his writing equipment. It was a risk Invel was willing to take.
“I see his majesty is feeling good with himself today,” observed his majesty, squatting on the floor as usual observing the cat’s antics. He seemed at peace…all week really.
A sharp jingle and a mourning whine echoed across the throne room. Invel looked up from his report. Apparently the little majesty’s toy had been flung underneath the throne and his miniscule thumbless paws couldn’t retrieve it.
His majesty uttered a sigh that bordered on fond as he tapped the group. A rudimentary teleportation spell activated as the ball warped.
As natural when hearing the sound of bells, younger majesty joyfully pounced upon the ball yet again. “Yay! My precious!”
Then proceed to get bored with the toy after a minute. As expected. And started giving his predecessor a wide innocent stare.
His majesty tilted his head. “Yes, your majesty?”
The little majesty walked up to his predecessor, stretched and…
Curled up in a cat-sized ball on his majesty’s lap.
Emperor Spriggan stilled immediately, the almost-amusedness that had become a near permanent fixture as of late wiped from his face.
The cat started to purr. His majesty started tearing up.
Emperor Spriggan scrambled to his feet, the cat startled away from the sudden movement. “I…” His body trembled as much as his voice. “I have to go.”
And just like that, his majesty teleported away.
Moments later, Invel felt his own magic rattle as something distinctly wrong off in the far distance only to quiet to nearly indistinguishable soon after. Seemed like August was quick to respond as ever to one of his majesty’s flare-ups.
Things suddenly began to make much more sense to Invel.
“Hey what gives from that jerk?” one Natsu Dragneel exclaimed.
Invel would normally be irritated at such tactlessness…but in a way he could understand. His majesty’s sudden leave did frighten the man’s charge.
Said charge peeked out from behind the dragon slayer’s leg, clutching that bell ball his majesty had deemed of such importance to actively rescue.
Invel pushed his glasses up his nose. “I’m afraid that young cat became his majesty’s greatest weakness.”
“Huh? What the heck’s Happy got to do with it?” His majesty’s younger brother darted to his cat. “Happy, ya’ didn’t tell me you had some secret attack on ya’.”
“Hey don’t look at me! I didn’t know I had anything either,” the cat exclaimed. “I’m much stronger than I thought!”
“...not like that.” Invel resisted the urge to sigh. It would be undignified. “This is simply a hunch on my part, but I believe his majesty has a certain soft spot towards animals. In particular of the feline variety.” Probably due to having the sleeping habits of one, choosing either full activity or none at a position considered questionable for a human spine to rest. “Of course, given his majesty’s curse he can’t express it as such.”
“Curse?” The cat uttered as if he didn’t know.
Of course he didn’t know. He had only experienced Vistarion for a week. For others it would take months to have had this conversation.
“In summary, his majesty has limitations as to whom he can care for lest a death-seeking curse activates,” Invel explained clinically. It was a sentence he practiced and had to recite a number of times, but it still gave him unease divulging such information. Personal situations never mixed well with formality. “As such, his majesty cannot interact with animals directly most times. Simply put, your cat’s offer of kingdom ownership gave him the perfect excuse to indulge any pet ownership fantasies he possessed.”
And indulge he had the past week. Enough toys to fill a treasury, plenty of enrichment spaces, even endorsement to check the little creature’s health. And the nicknaming, especially the nicknaming.
At this point, Invel would be surprised if there were any palace staff that didn’t refer to the creature as Alvarez’s little majesty.
Given it was rather embarrassing to admit so, Invel decided that particular detail was best left undisclosed. “Of course, I’m sure the cat’s relation to you gave additional motivation, Natsu Dragneel.”
The dragon slayer crinkled his nose at him in a considerably informal manner. “Uh…why’s that?”
“...I would have thought it obvious despite your…estrangement. Now I’m not entirely aware of the full context behind this familial separation but—”
“What the heck do ya’ mean familial?”
“...His majesty? Your older brother?”
His majesty’s sibling stared back with a very familiar owlish look that Invel unfortunately seen enough times to identify as pure confusion.
Did…did his majesty’s younger brother seriously not know? Nearly everyone in Vistarion palace had the misfortune of knowing so despite his majesty’s known restrictions, he literally showed that singular photo of his younger sibling to at least one randomly selected servant on a nearly weekly basis. How could the subject being near-continuously gushed about not know?
Invel’s unease increased and he loathed it. This conversation shouldn’t belong in the realm of formality, why the hell was Invel the one who had to divulge such impertinent information that it was taking his majesty’s solely familial connection so long to absorb.
And when it finally clicked for his majesty’s younger brother knew fury. “Then why the hell did he try attackin’ Fairy Tail then?!”
Invel wasn’t going to question why that was the first thing that came to mind after such revelation. Perhaps confounding leaps in logic was a familial trait. But his duty to the empire was support. Even as strained as his nerves had become the past week, he would be the rock of formality Alvarez needed and he would respond with the sincerity that was implicitly requested.
“That I can not say for certain. As you have witnessed this past week his majesty has some…let’s just say rather elaborate reasoning behind his actions at times.” And it was true, predicting his former majesty was akin to a roulette wheel. And yet, as much as Invel would like to excuse such admitted foolhardiness in hindsight…“but…as his advisors we should have sought another solution before coming into conflict against your guild and it should not have taken this change of leadership for us to realize it. For that, I apologize.”
A tiny paw poked his leg. Invel looked down at his little majesty.
“It’s okay, Natsu does stupid stuff all the time too,” he said.
Ignoring any exclamations from said subject of stupidity, Invel could possibly admit despite the little majesty’s words it did touch his heart.
A little majesty who was not furious, despite the stress such a misstep likely caused those who raised him. Instead he remained with such trust that let a cat from enemy territory claim itself at home by day two of its silly braindead deal with an equally braindead sovereign. Simple and pure and surprisingly beneficial.
It was such a shame Alvarez would stop receiving such benefits soon. “I recommend you and your friends be ready to leave shortly.”
The two began to protest immediately. Fools, as if it wasn’t obvious. “You are aware of the arrangements of his majesty’s agreement, correct? One week with your cat ruling as Emperor, no more, no less.” His shoulders maintained their perfectly formal angle, they did not deflate in any show of resignation. “And then after that Fairy Tail will no longer have its good will from Alvarez and tensions between Ishgar and Alakitasia will return as normal. Remaining within Vistarion will be considered trespassing and you will be trialled accordingly.”
“Yeah, we get trialled all the time,” said the cat nonchalantly and yes, Invel was going to try ignoring that one. It was quite obvious Fairy Tail’s flagrant violations of legal fines were so numerous that he had a suspicion Fiore’s debt collectors had given up keeping track by now.
“Personally, I would prefer not to deal with the paperwork that would ensue.”
…
“Hell, we gotta do something before we get arrested!”
“They won’t have you to burn their paperwork if they arrest us Natsu!”
It turned out that was the more substantial argument for the two to the point where they began conspiratorally whispering to one another.
Because of course it was.
They separated swiftly, the cat raising its paws. “Alright! As Emperor, I decree I’m staying!”
“You are not doing that.” Invel already dealt with one usurpation this week, thank you. He would not like a repeat.
“Okay. Then can I run the kingdom the first week of every month?”
Of all the…
Actually come to think of it, that didn’t sound so bad. It wasn’t like his majesty didn’t have an absentee record the length of Minstril’s greatest plays or anything of similarly egregious length.
Invel looked down at the creature. “You would?”
“I mean…not all the time. Happy’s still a Fairy Tail wizard.” His majesty’s younger brother grinned. “But you guys have done a good job looking after Happy for the week, so maybe we can try to visit once a month or something. Right buddy?”
The cat nodded. “Aye.”
Ah…
So despite the quarrels, formal speeches, and general chaos of life in Vistarion, the little majesty still considered the place safe enough to see as an abode during its reign. Even his majesty who practically helped build the place preferred sleeping in the woods over the grand halls.
This endearingness was…
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” Invel stated. Formally of course. His voice was as calm and collected as ever and in no ways choking up on the inside. “Once he is stabilized, I suppose his majesty wouldn’t be opposed to such a proposition of repeated visitations from your cat."
…
His majesty’s brother gave him one of those concerningly confused looks again. “Ya’ know Happy isn’t a cat right?”
Huh.
Well that was news to him.
“I advise we never speak of this detail to his majesty then.”
“Let me tell you this, Zeref. I still think you’re an asshole.”
Invel glared at his majesty's younger brother. Unfortunately, Natsu Dragneel’s gaze was focused on the subject of his insults and not any warning cues others would have possessed.
Let it be known, this level of crassness was not what was agreed on when he accepted the idea to a joint delivery of this proposition.
“I don’t know a thing ‘bout this whole brother thi~ow! Invel why’d ya do that?!”
Invel merely straightened his shoulders as if he did not kick anyone’s shins and had subsequently been tattletailed on, pushing his glasses up his nose with the same ease as breathing or reciting a report. “What he means to say is, the second Emperor's contributions to Alvarez have been considerable. Morale within Vistarion has improved with the swift and peaceful resolution to our war efforts. Our relations with Fiore have gone from absolute hostility to a possible trade alliance. The introduction to peacetime has led to what is projected to become a recent increase in the arts, and we are soon to consider the commercialization of airship models, which will greatly improve transportation of personnel across the empire.”
Ignoring the margin notes from their head of technology (who had repeatedly written the word “steampunk” in every unoccupied corner of the paper), Invel turned the report. Not that he necessarily needed to, but he had to make up for someone not abiding by the rules of formal protocol.
“That said…the little majesty’s inexperience is also considerable. Take this proposition for a statue of the fabled Desierto Koi the size of Vistarion itself.”
“Hey I like that one,” the little majesty objected.
“...case in point.” Invel handed his majesty a summary of that particular…incident. “Cost and scale aside, the fact is that Desierto would take such an effort to appropriate their treasured legend as an offense and ruin further any trade relations have clearly not been taken into account. Not to mention the fact that the little majesty is registered as a local mage in Fiore before this agreement started and therefore has a need to continue such lifestyle.”
His majesty eyed the report with a slow calculation, no doubt considering the situation in a list of neatly categorized positives and negatives with little room for emotional decisions in between. “And what would you propose?”
This time it was one Natsu Dragneel’s turn, the man prepared not with paper and posture but a sharp grin and an equally powerful voice. “Shared custody. You guys get Happy for a couple weeks and he can go kick butt as your Emperor. Then he can come back to Fairy Tail and tell everyone about all the cool stuff he’s been up to.”
“I see,” his majesty said simply.
“Course, that means I’m gonna have to keep an eye on him and whoever else in the guild wants to come along. Maybe some time Gramps can visit without havin’ to wait a year for service.” Natsu gave a wicked grin. “And you know who else would be coming along then?”
Emperor Spriggan froze. “Natsu…”
His little brother however, continued to grin, giving a singsong voice of, “His Godmother~”
Let it be known, despite not blushing Emperor Spriggan did indeed appear very embarrassed.
Sadly, much like his relation with his estranged sibling, Emperor Spriggan’s failed love life was no secret to the rest of Vistarion. Especially given the fact that said subject of his majesty’s not-affections had ended her eternal stasis upon Acnologia’s final charge and was subsequently very much alive now.
Perhaps Invel should learn not to impart palace gossip to his majesty’s family.
“Look, I ain’t gonna forgive you for trying to hurt my friends and making all that demon crap,” his majesty’s younger brother addressed, this time much more serious.
One could hardly believe a mere moment back he was performing the most basic of schoolyard taunts, yet here he stood with a steady gaze and a fierce tongue. “But ain’t it about time you take a different approach than this doom and gloom stuff?”
“I can’t.” The whisper came and went like a fragile breeze.
The dragon slayer shrugged in reply. “Just saying, this whole place was about to go to war and then it changed its tune ‘cause it listened to Happy. I’d say that kinda change to things is worth it.”
“...Dismissed.”
The little majesty looked up. “Can I say the line?”
After all, there was the distinct possibility of it being the last order as ruler he’d give.
Despite the hesitation, his majesty let him do so anyway.
“So, you think it worked?” The dragon slayer eyed the closed doors behind them warily.
“That I can’t say for certain,” Invel answered honestly. It would be rude to present any potential falsity as fact after all.
However…
He took his glasses off to wipe them clean of any frost crystals lingering on the lens. True, uncertainties weren't formal. But he could allow a little bit of less formal opinion, just this once. “However, had his majesty seen an objective flaw worth arguing, he would have said so.”
His majesty’s brother gave a loud snort. “You know, you’re not so bad Ice Princess.”
“...never compare me to the likes of Gray Fullbuster ever again.”
His majesty’s…Natsu, simply laughed fullheartedly as if such insults were welcomed.
Invel didn’t find such an attitude unwelcome per say.
After all, in an odd way he did understand. Complete opposites they may have been, they were after all two individuals dedicated to their majesties.
Five minutes later he found a flying not-cat with a golden crown on his head, one neglected etherious demon seeking vengeance on Natsu, and one set of vintage curtains on fire in the ensuing chaos.
The little majesty looked up. “Should we stop them?”
Invel should have. He was order, he was control, he was the formality when everyone else was too foolish to muster an iota of sense.
But this? This was not worth it.
“Let’s leave them be.” He began briskly walking away. As the Brandish school-of-thought put it, one could not get blamed if one was not present to begin with. “Besides, I believe I have been overdue an ice fishing trip.”